I think this means you’re supposed to pee on it.

my mom always threatened to give me back to the “indians”

my grandpa always said he was going to make us all go back to Castro’s Cuba for misbehavior.

little elizay gonzalez

tragilol

this day is now dragging

I can’t spill out the baby’s bathwater after her bath without thinking to myself that it’s especially important that I don’t throw my daughter out with it.

It’s kinda like that time that a friend and I were driving out of Oakland and were trying to get across the Bay without going through San Francisco, and I legitimately asked her if she knew the way to San Jose.

rimshot.jpg

puppy otm

I really wanted to know if she knew the way to San Jose though! It wouldn’t had been funny if we got lost!

it’s cool, man. i laughed!

Someday, I plan on traveling to the capitol of Italy and acting like the natives!

(I’m not going to apologize for spelling here since it’s just the sandbox.)

There are many reasons why I want to learn the banjo, but this bottle of wine and ‘journey of the sorcerer’ are most pressing right now.

i like how Ed lives in a totally different universe. it’s like having someone post from the future.

If Helogallo -> Smokebelch II = the future, I am there.

I just did a CDR80 for a friend in NYC, anyone else want a copy while I’m about transatlantic CDR mailing, mail me.

ok sure

ps ZR where are my ethiopian buddies? ;_;

basic time of why the fuck exactly did i put a phone in my mouth

I still don’t get the phone thing.

It reminds me of my old orthodontist’s office which was located inside this quaint, almost kinda woodsy, little cabin of a building.

Inside, from the counter where you signed in to the walls of the waiting room to little tables set up by the window next to the dentist’s chair, were framed photographs of the orthodontist. Photographs of the orthodontist’s wife and family. Photographs of the assistants and the receptionist. Photographs of some other mystery people. Some shots were taken inside the office, some at picnics, some around the house or at a graduation.

And in all the photographs, they were doing the same thing: Pulling down on their left eyelid with their index finger, exposing the pink tissue (if you will) located just underneath their left eye.

But did they stick their phones in there? Because that would be HARDCORE.

they didn’t have iPhones then.

gbx, email me and I will weyeesseye

HOLY FUCK, Evan, that’s horror movie lighting right there.

Btw, Kevin says you are all v v blood diamonds. He’s on my futon, and we’re about to pass out and get some sleep before BRUNCH-TIME BOO-YAH.

I have not now nor ever been from or near minnesota, however I did live with one and do have a vikings sweater.

Check yr bucket

FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY

i am downloading, thanks Ed

ok so i just bumped into my roommate coming out of the bathroom totally naked cut it out

eek gbx i’m sorry bro—i’ve had a rather...difficult...week and haven’t actually been, you know, home for more than 2 conscious hours over the last seven or eight days to rip stuff. i will rectify ASAP. INJERA IN YR EARS, SON.

And that’s why I left my career as a professional ice skater.

what the fuck is mickey doing on our (“our”) board

leaking unreleased f@ke @ccents tracks

that sunofabitch don’t know ROSEN IS MY CO-PILOT

dude its cool i told him to come on this thread. what are we if not the island of misfit toys??

come TO this thread forfending

ZR don’t worry about it — yr a dude for sending ’em. thanks.

honestly pete i know your policy is to be a bro above all things BUT DID YOU READ HIS FUCKING RACISM THREAD LAST NIGHT

yeah, see, why would a person even want to do that, though?

the little masochistic trolling homophobe shit should be banned from the fucking internet, not just ilx

we are the island of misfit toys, not the island of choads

although, i’ll admit that it’s fun to get all worked up sometimes c.f. when the abortion crazies show up on campus and press their children into handing me flyers with crazy dead fetuses on them and hold up signs saying fags gotta die

xp the gov’t tried to do that already, ghost rider!

whoa no i read nothing

i am not from minnesota but my dad is! he had a summer job working at the vikings training camp, once

OMG

http://www.svenandoles.com/

why they want to put rice on pizza??!

oh geez it costs a million dollars for a lutefisk pizza ;_;

>>The Uffda Zah

Italian Sausage, Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Black Olives, Green Peppers, and Onions

Oh jeez they do NOT have a lutefisk pizza dere!

this place rules, we totally should go. everyone to visit northern minnesota! we’ll just crash at my aunt’s place i’m sure she’s still working at some bar or another

http://www.svenandoles.com/worldbeertour.html

“Finish the Tour and get a World Tour T-Shirt, a 12” Pizza with two toppings, a card for 5 drinks and your name in ‘The Pickle Herring Club Hall of Foam.’“

I LOOKED AT THE MENU AND IT SAID LUTEFISK PIZZA ONE MILLION DOLLARS

Our legendary, but still not tasted .......... Lutefisk ............................. $1,000,000

now i think YOU owe ME a million dollars for being wrong

then you can get your pizza, problem is solved

I will mail you a frozen lutefisk pizza for $50.00.

ok darla group trip to minnesota is a-ok and totally blood diamonds in my book but i’m not going to grand mirais to eat some scandinavian stereotype pizza.

haha i’m a really bad minnesotan, i never, ever go anywhere outside the twin cities, like even most of the second-ring suburbs are terrifying mysteries to me

i might go to MPLS in june??

I’ve lived here my whole life and I get lost outside of the cities.

see i’ve never been to twin cities (catching a commuter flight to duluth from the airport doesn’t count) i’ve only spent time way up nort dere

it’s kind of the west virginia of minnesota except now there are a few fancy yuppie camping towns like ely which are like a patagonia theme park

i should probably admit than i also fear most of the first-ring suburbs :/

tell me why pete

my second cousin was in this.. drivin a zamboni

he’s going to see a man about a horse

OMFG SO CUET

that’s a pillow, do i purchase for wife, y/n

y, and one for me

wife, friends, parents, boss, hobos y

suburbs to avoid: maplewood, woodbury

wait, it’s seventy dollars

best $70 you’ll ever spend

wow that is a good deal larger than the first picture would lead you to believe

In addition to living in Minneapolis and owning a cat born at Macalester College, I used to sell children’s photographs in Wal*Marts across the state of Minnesota. I spent a week in Fergus Falls. One night, I got so bored sitting in the hotel room watching [i]Tommy[/i] and [i]Hoffa[/i], that I drove over to Wahlpeton, North Dakota, to eat dinner, just so I could check another United State off my visited list. I sent off my receipts from the Sauk Centre post office (where behind the building, a few teenaged girls were smoking cigarettes.) I boned up on my pidgen Spanish in Wilmar. My girlfriend met me in Albert Lea the week I was there, and we hung out in the room after hours, watching movies like [i]The China Syndrome[/i]. I picked up a hitch-hiker coming back from the St. Cloud store and we drove to Chicago. I finally lost my shit and quit that horrible baby photograph job after a really bad day in Owatonna.

last one i promise

First sentence of PPlains’ debut novel

I finally lost my shit and quit that horrible baby photograph job after a really bad day in Owatonna.

someone please buy me that pillow for my birthday

pplains you have the makings of the minnesotan factotum right there.

other suburb memories:

once i was canvassing door-to-door in eden prairie and because i hated my job and was hot and tired i sat down on a porch with a depressed middle-aged man who talked a bit like a minnesotan james mason. he talked about growing up in st paul and how the state/country he loved was dead, about watching john kerry on the cavett show and how he wished he could vote for that one instead of ’04 kerry. his wife brought us lemonade, then he sort of gestured at his ugly housing development, ratcheted up the mason voice ten-fold and said “it’s not eden... and there’s no prairie anymore.”

he later accused me of flipping him off when i adjusted my glasses.

that is my only memory of being in eden prairie.

seriously that pillow only works out to like $1/cubic foot.

“it’s not eden... and there’s no prairie anymore.”

Wow. What a line.

I worked the Eden Prairie store, too. During my lunch break, I went over to that mall where they filmed Mallrats.

First sentence of PPlains’ debut novel

And I did try to put some of those experiences down on paper! And after sixty pages, I took those papers downstairs and set them on fire!

start again mofo with that sentence up there

you are like the book nazi i swear to god

“nazi”

i didn’t say book. it reads like the 1st sentence of a short story.

oh god i guess i did say book, sorry busy day!

guys, my job. my job is CRAZY. did i mention, my job is crazy? gaaah. why are we communicating stuff that isn’t accurate? because we’re too rushed and unfocused to care what people think. plus, they won’t pay attention anyway, because of our long history of putting any old crap out there and not caring what people think. this is apparently a-ok with lots of folks at the organization, i think it’s not ok with sr management but do i ever get to talk to them? hell no

it’s nice to be reminded yet again that i can’t count on my boss to stand up for me. ‘you have a point’ but.. let’s stick with the status quo of putting any old crap out there

HI DERE I HAVE DAY OFF. And I just made salad/eggs/bacon/espresso for Otto Midnight & self, and roommates are hanging out talking shit. I love everything.

HI LAUREL I AM AT HOME EATING PiZZA AND DRINKING WINE AND IT IS ONLY 1130 YAY

also my roommate had some friends over yesterday afternoon which included a dog named “Otter” who unsurprisingly turned out to be a total G

Wine before noon is v v blood diamonds, I have to say. I’m not hungover but whatshisface is, and unless he was kidding me, he said he doesn’t drink during daylight hours which seems like a terrible waste of a day, basically. I might have some beers later while teaching Agent Cooper to change a tube.

What is a “total G”?

wait, no one told me agent cooper was going to be in nyc this weekend. if i had known THAT then i’d be there NOW

that store 8080

8080

Fuck me the last two days have been shit (workwise)

amen, Ed

excerpt from an email regardng a project that’s in design and getting handed to me next week (I have not even touched this project yet but will be the sole person on it soon)

“Here you go... Schedule has slid due to some issues on our end. We really need to step things up – haven’t shown them much progress in the last couple weeks.”

Thanks!