uh there was supposed to be 2 photos with my other post? fucked that up somehow.
also wtf @ the three cops stationed outside dupont metro actively chasing ppl down and ticketing them for jaywalking?!?!
Did you guys all die again?
nb i did not get a ticket because i was still in spaced out johnny knoxville is dreamy mode and totally just like forgot to cross the street for at least 2 minutes??! everyone else on the corner did tho so thx insomnia and jackass :D
really, though, almost every single sign in the world could have “plus you might die” appended to it and be accurate.
“nice weather = gin drinks on my porch. all bros welcome! plus you might die”
that sign means the drivers have already died ;_;
:D
i would buy that house
i would pass out on the couch at that house
like you’re choosy.
if ally bought that house it’s damn near certain that one of us would die there actually
listen, those charges were dropped, i never killed anyone according to the state of virginia.
ok why do i have to do a “self-evaluation” for my “six month” review do i have to do EVERYTHING around here christ
“If You Lived Here You’d Be Home By Now. Plus You Might Die.”
I shall write it four you:
I am queen of this department and the internets, I can outperform everyone and GIS cat pictures simultaneously. I keep a sloth in my décolletage and still you do not pay me what you owe me. Do I have to send da bhoyz round
yours
Schäftër
that is a lot better than what i have written which says “i’m retarded, i talk like a fag, and my shit is fucked up,” i will use yours instead.
I think your entire self evaluation should be cat pictures
holy shit WHICH PUPPY
UH
i’ll just print out schefterblog and hand that in.
xpost oh damn dude both of them
OK NOW THERE IS A POLICE CAR BLOCKING OFF THE ENTIRETY OF 12TH STREET RIGHT UNDER MY OFFICE WHAT IS UP TODAY
xpost oh damn
longcat warning OTM
al3x par3ene, editor of longcat, ladies and gentlemen
i’ve been banned from ilx!
8[
as of like ten minutes ago. all i posted in the last half-hour was a picture of gordon parks
maybe gordon parks turned into tubgirl.
how come you two get banned but i can’t manage to get anyone to ban me at all ever even after posting things like SHUT THE FUCK UP LIMEY RETARD. who do i have to blow to get to see the banned screen?
all i wanted to post was this about louis jagger:
i just saw him walking down the street, he was headed through a doorway that had a bucket of paint balanced on it.
— 600 on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 10:32 AM (15 minutes ago)
ghost rider it looks like lots of people have been banned, probably just a glitch
that shit will happen
hahaha does anyone else remember the time gareth slipped on a banana peel and then posted to ilx all like “oh my god! it finally happened!” like somehow falling on a banana peel is like losing your virginity or something? i love that dude.
here ally, the banned screen looks like this
:D
ok, that, my friend, is a damn good self-evaluation
i’m unbanned now :/
hooray?
CCCCC AAAAA L ZZZZZ OOOOO N N EEEEE
C A A L Z O O NN N EEE
C AAAAA L ZZ O O N N N E
CCCCC A A LLLLL ZZZZZ OOOOO N NN EEEEE
bump calzone
OK A) ALL OF THESE SIGNS ARE 100% OTM CSS 8080
B) NOW I WANT A CALZONE
i can’t believe you guys are thinking about lunch wtf it’s barely breakfast
okay, fuck, who wants to get calzones for lunch at Famous Luigi’s?
famous luigi’s pizza is occasionally wack as shit
I’m totally open to other options
i don’t even know who famous luigi is
You’re doing it again. I will go home and turn these ingredients into tortilla.
I miss living in turin an being able to get a calzone, slice of farinata and a chinotto for 5000 lire.
He’s on the right Ally:
oh shit chinotto is soooo awes
no no—i cant go to lunch today anyway—luigi’s it is! and ill go there and try the c-zones anyway. its just that the pizza is inconsistent.
^^^^^^^ i forgot about this, isn’t this meant to be jon’s new username?
I’ve never had a calzone there, but I think it’s the closest calzone option to my office. Potbelly might win out for being closer and faster, now that I’ve wasted my morning with in-joke street signs.
For Dan: http://www.myspace.com/eljeffebonanza
The quote is from Bus Tales dot com: http://www.bustales.com/route/2/oversized-mobility-scooter/
Oversized Mobility Scooter
I wait for my bus line 2 while I am sitting in my power wheelchair (normal size) at 22nd/Franklin Ave, rolled into secured area. While riding my bus to the Lyndale/Franklin Ave, I saw a oversized mobility scooter at Bloomington/Franklin Ave, the elderly woman’s scooter face forward onto the lift, the driver told elderly “Turn around and backward onto lift”, she little bit of fericous (sp?) and not want go backward instead she using forward onto the lift, the scooter went into wheelchair secured area next to me.
Okay, next few stops, another elderly hopped onto bus and put her fare into box and asked passenger “Can I have change for $1 dollars”, I told elderly at box “Nope!, Change at the store” and driver told her get off the bus and change at the store, she got off in next block. Finally at the Nicollet/Franklin Ave the elderly in oversized scooter need to get off the bus. she going backward in the alisle to the lift, hard to manuvering, and she threw her cane to her grandson outside of front door. Oh boy! that bitchin’ in the oversized scooter need to learn how to use backward onto lift.
NOPE! CHANGE AT STORE, BITCHINS!
that story = pete in 40 years, only he’d have a crush on the lady who wanted change
TEAM DAN PERRY
i...can’t actually follow what occurred in that story.
that bitchin’ in the oversized scooter need to learn how to use backward onto lift, what more do you need to know?
i just don’t actually understand what a single word you just said means, is the problem.
CHANGE AT STORE, ALLY. CHANGE AT STORE.
what with the elderly with the change? what was that about? XPOST
HI THIS IS A PICTURE OF ME. I AM REACTING TO THIS STORY.
THE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAVE THEIR OWN BUSLINE
also cheezburger kitty otm but cut down on the chocolate!
SUMMARY: Bitchin’ elderly has been juge (sp?) by normal size scooter man.
but what about the lady who needed change?!?! why did she have to change at store?
the elderly woman’s scooter face
SCOOTER LIBBY IS GUILTYS HE SERVE ON SHIP NOW SS POMERANIAN:
ok my equilibrium and understanding is now restored, thank you mw.
wow, that was quite a story!
i have a question guys:
my roommate reminded me midweek last week that his parents are visiting “for the weekend”.
“ok cool”
they’ll be staying here
“...in our TINY house?”
yeah.
“um, ok. when are they getting here?”
saturday
“saturday? not gonna have much time then, huh?”
well, i have no idea how long they’re staying
“...UH”
my mom’s got the week off, she’s a teacher.
“...they might be staying in our tiny house for a WEEK?”
I guess, so, yeah! :D oh, wait, yep, it’s a definite. they’re staying for a week! gonna throw us an awesome BBQ next saturday!
“...i hate you”
my question: wtf am i crazy or is this totally out of line??? i mean, dude is still in college and 3–4 years younger than me and all, but this is MY HOUSE. YOU CAN’T INVITE PPL OVER FOR A WEEK, RIGHT< EVEN IF THEY“RE YOU’RE ADMITTEDLY VERY NICE PARENTS???
even my keyboard is fucked up about this
yeah wow, that seems pretty damn uncool? aren’t parents supposed to spring for hotel rooms?
on the other hand, sure it’s total bullshit, but you get an awesome BBQ!
i know right?? they rolled up in a Benz (they drove here), so it’s not like they can’t afford a room!
i feel like a stranger in my own home. A STRANGER.
xp BITCHIN’!
That bitchin’ elderly need to learn how to use hotel 8.
Saturday is just far enough away that a plate of fish guts slipped under the stove is going to smell REALLY BAD by the weekend. I say make the house un-liveable and sleep in the library until parentals clear out.
you should srsly tell elderly to “Turn around and backward onto lift”
that is totally out of line!
it’s not bitchin at all either, i’d be pissed off. if your roommate had given you warning, it’d be one thing.
i mean, really i just want to be able to smoke weed and play guitar badly w/o feeling like i’m pissing anyone off that isn’t (a) my roommate and (b) my neighbors, cuz that ship has SAILED
xp—that is one nice thing, tho, L. his mom basically walked into the house and shit magically got clean. i’m not even kdding. so that’s nice i guess
no that is completely uncool, he should’ve asked you well in advance if this was ok? i’m trying to imagine what i would do if tom or steph4nie or esth3r or any other roommate-type-situation did that to me and the answer is obviously file for divorce immediately (tom only, wasn’t married to either of those other ladies ;_;) and go crash with someone else for the rest of time, so dude i say you just kill them and steal their bbq sauce.
having his parents there shouldn’t stop you from smoking weed and playing guitar
yea, no warning. well, about the WEEK LONG part. i figured two nights over teh weekend wouldn’t be that bad. probably get a free meal or two. but this is just bananas.
i’m gonna steal their benz
Crash over at hottie’s apt that week and have casual sex.
oh hey!
fluffy bear otm
fluffy bear 8080
yeah klg almost invited an auxillary australian to stay with us last year, someone whom we did not know and had never met and Meg, our australian who was staying with with us (and was someone we knew) had just met and i was on needles and pins for a bit.
i think i’ll just petulantly eat all his food
and smoke his weeds
you all really need to try enacting the whole “no one crashes here at all unless it is 5am and perhaps vomiting will occur” rule that i have at my place. i learned my lesson the hard way when houseguests at my studio apt in nyc decided to just stay on for A YEAR OR SO.
yes on the food eating and weed smoking but reverse the order so you can really put a dent in his food. also: stop bathing.
rub one out in the living room while they’re having breakfast, that ought to do it.
Dude, I KNOW you can charm his mother. His parents will love you SO MUCH because you clearly have way better life skills and can get the party/charcoal started for BBQ, and they’ll be so glad you live with THEIR DARLING SUNGGG. And then get them to clean everything, buy you groceries for the house, maybe pick up two decent chairs for the porch/yard etc etc. You win!
except for the part that he has invaders in his living situation.
oh also an important fact: your roomie’s still in college. so he’s still sorta dumb? VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS NOT ALL ACQUIRED YET, STILL AT 73% POWER LEVEL
i mean honestly? staying with families really, really sucks and it makes me go mental. i mean, not like MY family specifically either, staying with anyone’s family and having to be all polite and shit and go smoke somewhere appropriate and get woken up at fucking 8am cos old ppl be crazy and blah blah blah blah blah. uggggggggggggh do not want.
Yeah Ally but this is the roommate who left raw ground beef on the kitchen counter for like three days, is the thing. If this person’s mother is willing to sanitize/degrease/polish all household surfaces, it might just be worth it for a clean start.