raw beef on the counter revitalizes pores and provided much needed nutrients to the air.
You get his parents to buy you weed. They become your new party friends. Roommate is embarrassed and spends week hanging with socially retarded foreign exchange students. You wear sunglasses and do bong shots with cheerleaders. HA HA FUCKER
ehhhhhhhh but at the end of the day yr still living with that dude and he’ll just fuck it up again so it’s not a winning proposition in my mind. it’s like my friend tony. he keeps hiring a maid service to clean their house but thing is at the end of the day he still lives with luke and luke’s feral cat and feral pug so why bother. tony is v v neat and organized and clean and his room is always in perfect order, but the rest of the house is just going to look like one of those houses that get raided by the aspca to remove animals from an elderly, senile hoarder. because he lives with an alcoholic wow addict, occasionally said-person’s white trash girlfriend, and his filthy cat and dog. WHY BOTHER.
DO COKE OFF HIS MOM’S ASS
fluffy bear you are v otm today
WAIT WAIT I GOT IT: FLY YOUR PARENTS IN, THEY CAN STAY WITH YOU AS WELL. THEN, DURING THE BBQ, MAKE YR PARENTS FITE. THE WINNER IS EVERYONE
I MEAN BOTH SETS OF PARENTS FITE EACH OTHER
Tell him if his parents don’t leave, the situation will enter a ‘different phase’.
xpost, tag team or royal rumble?
ROWCHE RUMBLE
I can’t help with the housing situation because I’m still marvelling at the bus story.
Unless maybe you tell the parents “Nope! Change at the store!”
install a tunrstile at the front door and profit from the trip.
Alternately you can tell yr roommate “I don’t want to put your parents into an unexpected bind but DO NOT EVER INVITE PEOPLE TO STAY WITH US WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST OR ELSE I WILL KICK YOUR TESTICLES SO HARD THEY SHOOT OUT OF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD.”
Accuse them for being britishers if they don’t tip you.
install the “plus you might die” sign outside your home. that might scare them off.
ok all you dudes otm
set up a ytmnd about your roommate’s gay orgy, send mom the link. visit cancelled.
You wear sunglasses and do bong shots with cheerleaders. HA HA FUCKER
^^^^ the ultimate prize
While riding my bus to the Lyndale/Franklin Ave, I saw a oversized mobility scooter at Bloomington/Franklin Ave, the elderly woman’s scooter face forward onto the lift, the driver told elderly “Turn around and backward onto lift”, she little bit of fericous (sp?) and not want go backward instead she using forward onto the lift, the scooter went into wheelchair secured area next to me.
“Did I spell that right? ‘Fericous’? Because there’s absolutely NOTHING ELSE WRONG with this sentence.”
I now go off to lunch wondering what a little bit of fercious from an elderly woman in an oversized scooter looks like.
the elderly woman’s scooter face
in what culture is calling an old lady “scooter face” considered an insult?
i just got Ed’s ‘different phase’ joke
kudos
what is an oversized scooter anyway
oh. no wonder that guy was so fucked up, i’d be incomprehensible in that situation too.
WANT^^
shit sorry!
i have some questions about scrap
who to turn to????
Scrap what?
you guys are all fired
scooter can answer questions about scrap
you can’t fire SCOOTER, RESIDENT SCRAP COUNSELOR
he can stay, the rest of you tho: pack yr desks plz.
QWAK ME DUCK NOW ME CAN“T LEAVE
I GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO
you can’t fire me i never worked here
jesus christ mw
fine none of you are fired, whatever.
ZR: that’s what makes this so difficult
xpost
just delivered to my office:
GET READY FOR AN OBNOXIOUS AFTERNOON CRL
when will they make the first internet nerd seinfeld? :(
Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃 on Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:02 (1 hour ago)
oh now there’s an idea — i’m just gonna play acid mothers temple all week
No you should just take ACID with his MOTHER and then go to a TEMPLE
good point mark
8080
this is a CHRISTIAN state, dude
freedom isn’t free ffs
“if you do not like me writing in caps then delete my email and do not respond I think it scared you to death.”
this is a CHRISTIAN state, dude
^^^^^^ this is what i immediately assumed you meant and was like what is the problem then
they seem nice
dude skull kontrol!! i saw them open for blonde redhead.. uh.. somewhere in baltimore. the act before them was one dude with a sampler who sang really loud screechy noisy songs about kitchen appliances, mostly. it sounds cool in theory but in practice intolerable
hahaha i would totally live in that christian state
srsly i mean free xanax for all
grinnin’ like a muppet 94/7
yeah i decided i was wrong and that yesterday’s lesson is to take MORE xanax today not less
:D
free xanax! whoah youse guys i step away for a few days and what has happened around here?
:D :D :D :D :D
8080
i’m gonna take a nap
i’m trying to convince my friend who’s accepting an award tonight that the remarks he was assigned to prepare yesterday should consist entirely of the pre-game speech from any given sunday. it would be the only thing that would make me actually want to go to this damn thing tonight.
dear wind,
who invited you to this party? you basically are not a bro.
thx,
ally
dear ally,
stop fucking buying skirts that do not stay down in wind you know what is going to happen.
thx,
ally
dear alex,
that idea is otm and if yr friend doesn’t do it, well, what kind of bro doesn’t do that.
thx,
ally
thing is, he’s made just about every mistake a middle-aged man can make.
i’m still working on a couple of them
i hope to have finished by the time i win an award so i can honestly make that speech
if i fail, i’ll use billy dee’s speech from brian’s song instead
;_;
brian’s song always makes me ;_;
IT IS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, IT’S A SAD STORY
[heartfeltemotiontears]
i went through a “difficult” period where basically every movie i saw that wasn’t bill & ted’s excellent adventure made me cry, so i tried to structure my movie collection so that it wouldn’t seem THAT odd but then my friend wanted to watch cool runnings of all things and they caught onto me.
Wait.
Who in the world looks at a movie collection and says, “Out of all of these movies, the one which I really want to watch the most is ‘Cool Runnings’.”???????????????????????????
it was on tv. i do not own cool runnings. i am horrified that anyone would think that i do!!!
guys why are don cheadle and adam sandler apparently in some kind of 9/11 themed serious buddy movie together?
UH cool runnings is great u quers
cryinginthemiddleofthelivingroom.jpg
the act before them was one dude with a sampler who sang really loud screechy noisy songs about kitchen appliances, mostly. it sounds cool in theory but in practice intolerable
husker du reunion?
also cool runnings is a movie about jamaican bobsledders, the only way it could be better was if a walrus was on their team.
vunderbar. our office administrator—who is total blood diamonds—just quit/was forced into leaving by our genius uk overlords, who’ve decided they would take on yet more of our basic business, which would sort of be ok if they were even slightly responsive and/or capable. there are five fucking people here now, including myself. i like one of them.
has anyone else seen this movie
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085608/
my parents are still traumatized over when they took me to see it in the theatre. i apparently started sobbing so hysterically at the ending that people seemed to think they were possibly abusing me. but fuck, who gives up a pet seal?
xpost ZR u work at my job and we should go meet on the 11th floor deck and hang
To Eric, she was his only friend. To all others, she was a hunted prize.
WTF
i do not own cool runnings. i am horrified that anyone would think that i do!!!
That was going to be my second question! I was assuming it was a gift.
I think that Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler’s embarrassing new movie can be explained by the phrase “prodigious pay-per-view porn bill”.
Also I am not sure if I can live in a world where “Cool Runnings” is considered great unless that also means that “Snow Dogs” is considered great, because as far as I’m concerned potato/potato.
To Eric, she was his only friend. To all others, she was a hunted prize.
I kind of wish the tagline to every movie was a variant of this.
(argh I am not implying that I think “Snow Dogs” is great, btw)
yeah reading the reviews i don’t remember any of this intense shit, no wonder i was in hysterics.
Snow Dogs is great, yes, duh. but then so is every movie with a dog like Firehouse Dog
OMG U GUIS ROSE AHS UPDATED HER FLICKAR PAGE
shit is creepy what is up with the thank you re: 9/11 picture
re: “The Golden Seal”, InuyashaFriend otm
yeah ally I saw that seal movie when I was little and it fucked my shit up too, even moreso than seeing psycho at my babysitter’s house when I was 6. Babysitter also had a pirahna.
also for as much as I hate all the bullshit in my profession sometimes it always lifts my spirits when I get to use the phrase “butt glazed”
That would always lift my spirit sometimes, too!
Oh boy! that bitchin’ in the oversized scooter sometimes it always lifts my spirits.
^^^^^^ this thread, today, is this robot
what?
hahaha
that movie would’ve been so much better if that was actually truth
yeah, it makes me sad that Don Cheadle is in that movie with Adam Sandler.