edit

Unless D4ryl or N1ck are out of the office, please do not forward me inquiries from non-Northeast territories. If you cannot remember any of this information, please print out this e-mail and tape it to your computer/phone/desk to prevent confusion in the future, as I am going to start forwarding all erroneous forwards right back to you.

Thanks in advance

i’m going to go put my fist through a wall actually, and not send any e-mails ever again.

AAAARGH THE BLINKING

OK last timecard is in! everyone u died

:|

B|

PEACE

i mean seriously our admin here has been working here long enough to know that

A) UH YOU are the P&G administrator, not me. YOU need to call back people asking to be walked through the website and the registration process, not me. why are you here if you aren’t going to do that?

B) I AM NOT THE FUCKING SALES REP FOR TEXAS ANYWAY AND HAVENT BEEN FOR WELL OVER 6 MONTHS IE WELL BEFORE YOU SHOWED UP HERE SO WTF

C) someone putting up an ad recruiting college students to take part in medical trials is most definitively NOT what we do and it is an ad that would get deleted from the site, so UH why are you giving me this message anyway if A and B didn’t stop you?

this is about the 4th or 5th one today, this is just the most egregious example. i’m ready to fucking kill someone. i can’t get paid, i get fucking brushed off and then get offered a job that is more difficult and involves heavy travel as if i’m going to TAKE that job if i can’t manage getting paid for the lower level job i have ffs, and on top of it i deal with this every day. also new guy just asked me three times in 15 minutes what the abbreviation PU stood for in our system and i’m just like ok seriously do you not have a pen or something, write it down.

goddamnit what the fuck it is not like i am a particularly smart or clever or talented person.

what happened about the ultimatum?

oh well i was pleaded with yesterday so i was like ok stay of execution and am sitting here today waiting “patiently” for information. i’m about to start firing through the current commissions report looking for errors actually.

ally, here’s a link that will make you feel better: http://www.youtube.com/MauiFilms

HI DERE. nu-ilx is unamusing today/as of late/all the time.

nu ilx sucks

PET SHOP

also i want to start working with dogs

How long does the sandbox stand before they 86 it, anyway?

NO ONE KNOWS WE ARE THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS. WHO WANTS A CHARLIE IN THE BOX

SEE I CANT EVEN IMG SRC RIGHT

l-r

mary, allyzay, ghost wolf

what an accurate depiction of everyone

i just scored a minor moral victory against academia, let’s party

working with dogs is killer, but also makes you sort of jealous — we’ve got these avalanche dogs that basically have the sweetest jobs on the planet. they just go play a game in the snow and get a treat for it but secretly they just saved some dude for certain death. then they get to ride around on dudes’ backs and hang out in the locker room with no collar like they own the place, getting treats and belly rubs all day long.

I knew a guy like that in college, except for the part about saving people from certain death.

ok speaking of.. _)#(*%_)$&#(% WORK.. so i have a project set for testing next week on a certain day. and i’m like OK, i have what i need, i’ll have it on that day. so then at a meeting ppl are like, how’s it coming along, do you need anything? and i’m like no, given that it’s not due til next week, there is no problem, i just figured i’d do it by next week when it’s due.

and then the internal client stops by my desk and is like hey, how’s it going, is it coming along and i’m like yes, i have everything i need, it’s due next week, so really there’s no problem, i’ll just do it by the date we agreed on. so then the editor comes by and says hey, how’s it going? is the site coming along? because i know the internal client tends to bug people and i wanted to make sure.. and i’m like UH there’s no problem, i’ll just do it by the time it is due, is that OK with everyone or what??!! ARRGH LAISSE MOI TRANQUILLE MAIS MERDE

. . .and that’s called. . . micromanaging!

but(t) shit lol

Nu-ILX, outside the balkans seems very britisher and godamnit if it isn’t hard to get even a politics conversation going these days. The fact that mortgages has called up 300 responses is typical of the NWO.

hey look a job posting just came in on this listserv..

>>POSITION TITLE: Web Editor

CLIENT COMPANY/ORGANIZATION: AIPAC (www.aipac.org)

SALARY: $55,000—$65,000

START DATE: Anytime; near-term>>

“hi dere.. i don’t agree with you guys on much but it looks like you pay not terrible salary.. kudos”

in case anyone is interested, the professor i just sonned in an exam beef has his name listed in the phone book as D3R3K L0NGSHAFT*

*this is not his real name

Classy.

i just got an e-mail from a guy named m4rty p00dles!

i just sonned my boss in an email grammatical beef

micromanaging? is that what they call it? :)

yeah totally. i am just not zen enough to put up with this shit and not be tempted to deliberately miss the deadline. in fact i haven’t even started yet but i’m not obliged to start any earlier than necessary to make the deadline, so they should really try & MYOB. i’m going to tell the next person that in fact—“i haven’t started yet. could you mind your own business?”

maybe i should follow prev web developer’s lead and set up a wiki or basecamp or something so we can all track progress instead of thinking hey it’s cool, let’s just drop by someone’s cube and interrupt them whenever to check up on progress which is not actually our business.

nobody trusts anybody to actually do their job around here. but then, why would they, given that the actual managers have tendency to over promise despite lack of resources & then not communicate promises to production staff

yeah i hate when my boss jumps the gun and freaks out over shit that is not due until next week.

that shit happened to me all the time at my old job. especially since no one knew how to write stuff, so a paragraph of copy that was due in four days was like serious business. and magic, since they were baffled, BAFFLED, by my ability to copyedit entire pages in under an hour.

though truth be told i prefer a quick turnaround time to shit dragging on forever.

my boss in a meeting today offered to take us all out to dinner if we meet our 1st qtr goals, which is as much of an incentive as anything else going on for me to just sit here and blatantly do nothing!!

So let’s get this straight.. dinner.. your reward for this is to get to spend MORE time doing work stuff, basically?

i’m with you on the quick turnaround — i never understood why they didn’t make my deadlines shorter

more time hanging out with a bunch of people who cannot get their heads out of their asses: yes, that is exactly what i want to do instead of just go out with my friends and drink or maybe even just go home and shoot myself in the face, thanks.

maybe ask if you meet your 1st Q goals if they can just bankroll an DCILX happy hour.

we don’t want to bankrupt the company, though

YES WE DO

The work things on this thread = exactly why I am incapable of working for anyone other than myself.

T/S poverty and happiness vs. other people.

i’m pretty ready to go that route myself except i have nothing worthwhile to offer to the world

hah, tell me about it

I’ve been trying to find out a way to cut out the middle man and just get paid to drink, but no luck yet.

Maybe I should move “John Justen and Fluffy Bear will drink it” to a paysite.

if i ever learn to be halfway competent at design, eventually i could go freelance. looking forward to that. then, i can fire clients. sorry dude, it’s just money, and i don’t want your money. you’re fired.

Alex has it down to getting paid to say mean things about people on the internet, but I think that’s the closest any of us is to making our job reflect our normal daily activities.

John Justen and Fluffy Bear might have to do a lot more than drink it on a pay site.

John Justen & Fluffy Bear, a habanero, a blender, a webcam and a dream.

so about 20% of the non-admin staff of my firm has put in their notice in the last 2 months—time to go?

coincidence on the timing? no.

ship is sinking? maybe?

let’s all just quit our jobs and have a new thing that we do together, there has to be something we can do, we’ve got web designers and writers and marketing bullshitters and it people and everything.

nah.

or

hunter age 5 franchise

shirts, animation, music, young adult books, liquor

HUNTER AGE X

wow that would be a pretty good company

I would work for that company/see that movie

brian i expect three mark ups of hunter age 3 liquor bottles in my inbox by 1800 h.

I’ll sell the hunter signature guitars.

A++++++++++ would buy all of this hunter age 3 liquors

pron:

HUNTER AGE XXX

I AM IN

I think the Hunter brand is pretty well defined: alcohol, tobacco, firearms

I could see alcohol, tobacco, guitars, tho.

i say we milk that motherfucking fucked up drawing for all it’s worth, IMHO. thoughts?

(You all can support six-figure salaries, right???)

you’re fired.

we don’t need any money if we’re MAKING tobacco and alcohol and firearms and musical equipment, dude.

Dan, are you including the cents columns in that? If so, maybe.

ally excuse my sideways cat WTF R U Talking about what we gonna trade everyone and barter with guns and booze?

mw, i don’t spend any money on anything besides those things

and the money we make off selling them to others can support our buying a giant group house. sorted!!!

group CLUBHOUSE=yes

group house=no

it’s a good thing dc overturned that firearms ban. we are in business guys

except i think we need a project manager. do we have a project manager? brian?

I’ve determined that having project managers is actually detrimental. Proceed!

yeah no bosses no project managers in our company

i like that yr first act as project manager was to fire yourself.

Okay if I can’t pull in mad duckets I can’t hang with y’all, I got a singer to support. ;_;

That’s what makes you such an excellent candidate for the job.

xpost

she can sing in the band dude

you = brian. nnngggghh.

yeah we have a band that plays our happy hours, (which are every night except monday and the weekends.)

I don’t leverage technologies for less than $$$$$$ because I IS WHORE

J031 will not sing with you miscreants unless she gets to wear a ballgown and a dreamy tenor.

weekends are for everyone sitting watching bizarre shit on my tv in the dark

THIS IS THE GREATEST BUSINESS MODEL EVER.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarre_(rapper)

EW

WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO WATCH THAT, UGH

group CLUBHOUSE=the flying dawkins

by bizarre shit i just meant like shows about dinosaurs, dan, i wasn’t going there but if that is what we’re all into now i really don’t have much of a say in it.

That’s not Tubgirl, that’s Bizarre.

(self-yellowcard)

Can I have 1 (one) conversation today that does not include the words house price, mortgage, buy to let, inflation or bubble.

I was looking at some house records the other day; the price was comparable to a mortgage payment! There were also too mant to buy to let me narrow down which ones I should really get, so I ended up dropping them back in their bubble wrap and leaving the store.

Fuck You, Dan Perry.

:-D

Having only met yr wife at Ally’s wedding, Dan, I can’t imagine her in anything other than a ballgown!

i think this is the perfect time to open that bar.

snap to it

i will be on hand for medical emergencies

but only if i get free drinks