I knew it musta been
Some big setup.
GUYS BASKETBALL GAMES ARE SO AWESOME WHY DIDN’T I REALIZE THIS TIL NOW
AGENT ZERO FOR LIFE
i blame my father and years and years of “you’re so tall, you must be great at basketball” for clouding my vision until this very day
but NO MORE
ah fuck it i ain’t got the time to follow basketball
TOO BUSY SUCKIN ON A DING DONG
IF I DON’T SEE Y’ALL FOR A LONG LONG WHLIE
I’LL TRY TO FIND YOU
LEFT OF THE DIAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
hahaha awesome alex. what’d she make you?
— ZR (teenagequie...), February 20th, 2007 7:34 PM. (teenagequiet) (later)
she’s very concerned about you receiving proper nutrition
— ZR (teenagequie...), February 20th, 2007 7:34 PM. (teenagequiet) (later)
beer + cigarettes + gin are not proper nutrition??? ;_;
— Allyzay heard you got beat up in a club. (garance8...), February 20th, 2007 7:35 PM. (Allyzay Eisenschefter) (later)
From the few scraps I am building up a spurious psychological profile of Alex. Alex, give up on hitting on girls for the sexing, you are the guy that girls want to mother, hit on girls with a view to having them take you home for a bowl of chicken soup and a plate of latkes; either that or start packing heat like milo.
yeah that’s a bad idea and you know it, britishes.
FADE IN ON:
EXT. THE PLANET EARTH. FROM SPACE
It hangs in the center of the screen, enveloped in a gauzy film of
atmosphere. Beyond that, nothing but black unwelcoming Space.
These words appear:
“On June 19th, 1987, at 9:47 A.M. EST, the Earth passed into the
extraordinarily diffuse tail of Rhea-M, a rogue comet.”
And although the darkness of space does not change, the envelope of
atmosphere surrounding the earth begins to glow very faintly.
“According to astronomical calculations, the planet would remain in
the tail of the comet for the next eight days, five hours, twenty-nine
minutes, and twenty-three seconds.”
The words FADE. CAMERA HOLDS ON THE EARTH, with its faintly glowing
cloud of atmosphere.
EXT. BILL AND BRETT
BILL (points)
There. That’s the one I had in mind.
EXT. THE SIGNORA L. GROUP’S POV
It’s a good-sized boat. It can hold them all.
EXT. BILL’S GROUP
CURT
If we dont get out of here soon, it’s
going to be light.
BILL
Right.
They start down toward the boat, which is at the very end, when they
hear a RISING DIESEL SNARL from behind them. BRAD is last in line.
LOOKING BACK TOWARD THE MARINA’S OFFICE
Here comes HappyToyz, with the Green Goblin’s face on the front.
EXT. BILL’S GROUP
BILL
Oh, Shit! Come On!
They run for the Signora L. CURT more or less puIling CONNIE
along, BILL with an arm around BRETT and holding DEKE’S hand.
All the lights in the docked boats start coming on. Many honk
their baaty little horns.
BRAD AND HAPPYTOYZ
It hits him, with its Green Goblin face.
EXT. THE SIGNORA L.
All of them jump aboard except BILL, who starts trying to untie the
heavy boatline.
BRAD
He lands on a lower dock with a sorry thump. There’s a motorboat
docked here, its outboard tilted up. BRAD tries to get up. and
falls over instead, head going into the water. The outboard turns
On, pivots, and comes down as the screw starts to turn. Bloody
water bubbles up. BRAD’S arms and legs thrash spasmodically...
but not for very long.
EXT. THE SIGNORA L.
BILL unshoulders the rocket-launcher he’s carrying and FIRES.
BILL (screams)
ADIOS MOTHERFUCKER!
EXT. THE HAPPYTOYZ TRUCK
It bursts into flame, but others are Coming.
EXT. BILL, AT THE MOORING POST
He can’t untie the knot. He looks up.
BILL
Mother’s helper! Mother’s helper!
EXT. THE DOCK WITH BRETT
She understands. She pulls the straight-razor out of her boot and
throws it.
EXT. BILL, AT THE MOORING POST
He catchesit, opens it and uses it to saw through the rope. He
gives the boat a shove away from the dock and hops aboard just as
STEVE fires his bazooka
EXT. THE DOCK, WITH TWO APPROACHING CARS
The lead car bursts into flame.
EXT. BILL, BRETT, DEKE
They make sail. BILL and DEKE with fast competence, BRETT a little
more slowly.
EXT. THE SIGNORA L. LONGER
As the sails go up and belly out in the mild breeze, the ship
swings away from shore and begins to move on its own.
EXT. CARS AT THE EDGE OF THE DOCK
They are idling, watching the Signora L go, like animals cheated
of their prey.
ed, i still love you and your horrible advice. drink some gin for me tonite.
Ed, I think Alex is just in it for the lunches.
I dreamt about gin last night. Bri—that Hirshhorn day should work for me, assuming I am not stressing about comps.
uggggggh
i am down for hirsh btw!
Ready 4 Action Hi-NRG Mix
SALT Radio #2
mixed by Brian Billion
Bobby O—“I Cry For You (Remix)”
Tony Casso—“Love Attack”
Lime—“Come And Get Your Love (Remix)”
Bananarama—“Venus”
Barbara Pennington—“All American Boy”
Dead Or Alive—“Lover Come Back To Me”
Oh Romeo—“Saving Myself (For The One That I Love)”
Divine—“Shoot Your Shot”
Bronski Beat—“I Feel Love/Johnnie Remember Me”
Donna Summer—“This Time I Know It’s For Real”
Rick Astley—“Together Forever”
Kylie Minogue—“I Should Be So Lucky”
Sinitta—“Toy Boy (Extended Rap Version)”
Mel & Kim—“Respectable”
Bassiz—“Tears Of A Clown”
Bobby O—“I’m So Hot For You”
The Flirts—“Calling All Boys”
Bobby O—“How To Pick Up Girls”
Pet Shop Boys—“Left To My Own Devices”
Seventh Avenue—“Ten Percent”
Laura Pallas—“Skiing In The Snow”
Pat & Mick—“I Haven’t Stopped Dancing Yet”
fuck everything about today except the e-mail in my inbox this morning asking for my salary requirements. actually fuck that too because I don’t know what my answer is.
should my answer be a scant few hundred dollars more than what I make for my current employer as of the february 26 2007 pay period or should it be nine thousand dollars more than that?
how do regular people go about this? last time I answered this question I aimed high and lost the job to a colleague.
I see the Wankette as a blogging male Holly Golightly, he needs a female, square jawed George Peppard in his life.
add 25–40% to your current salary seems to be the done thing.
Bobby O—“How To Pick Up Girls”
^^^^^^^^^^ BABY WHAT’S YOUR SIGN, THIS SONG IS AWESOME
i am ‘working’ from home today
DOLLAR SIGN
adding 25% to my current rate would make my salary requirements equivalent to about 61K GBP Ed
Tombot I suggest giving a range. Like, pick the first number of the range and say something to the effect of “my salary requirements are in the 35k range.” Not that I would recommend working for 35k.
“dollar sign” most otm thing ever said in a song btw
Also: you absolutely cannot do what Ed said. Sorry ed!
tom at what point last night did i e-mail ALL of your friends that i was going to fuck rachael ray??? wtf!
I disdain the range concept because I did that the first job opportunity I got out of the USAF and they just picked the lowest number in the range and sent me an offer. I didn’t know how to call them back and say “wtf brohonks this ain’t what I meant” so I just hated my life until another division of LM gave me the chance to be part of this shining moment in outsourcing mismanagement
according to my gmail you did that 5 hours ago
also good morning KLG long time no see
hey baby, where did you learn to dance?
BROOKLYN
Then pick 30%. If you are going through a recruitment consultant then they will tell you if you are being pie in the sky.
If they want you give them something to negotiate down from. Also, surely it will depend on where they want you to work from?
ALLY OTM
it’s such great advice. how to pick up girls? LEARN TO DANCE. it works every time.
Ah, so we should all learn to jitterbug.
I knocked a girl out dancing once it’s a story worthy of LJ.
that is exactly what my life is like
especially when i’m talking to my mom
brian thanks! DL’ing now
everyone otm
also, owwwwwwwww
yes otm
otoh WORKING FROM HOME IS AWESOME??
I see the Wankette as a blogging male Holly Golightly, he needs a female, square jawed George Peppard in his life.
ed i love you come visit dc
EL PASO TRAVEL AGENT YOU JUST LOST $1100 SORRY ;_;
(alex i owe you a grilled cheese sometime)
when zr’s ladyfriend was “working” from “home” she came over and made me lunch STEP UP TO THE PLATE ALLYZAY
FINE WAHT DO YOU WANT
xpost
When Tom gets his 12ft lizzard salary he can employ me as a butler.
also at some point last night (“some point” = 2:29 a.m.“) i texted ZR something totally uncool and i just want to say now, on the record, for everyone to see, that he is a bro among men and if i ever have a son i want him to grow up to me JUST LIKE HIM except not not that tall because i want to be able to keep my son in check.
oh man i will pay you all of my salary for you to be my butler, ed
hey, i want to quit this stupid job, can i get in on this? does anyone need like a kitten wrangler or something? like if you’re feeling stressed or shitty i show up with kitties and then you feel better? that would be worth a salary right?
kevin if you want to come by and teach my cat how to forget his great idea to take qtips all out of the bathroom and put them in the laundry room, i’ll pay you something at least.
all alex said was “you are a dick.” i responded “file under: correct.” ain’t no apology necessary, broski!
kevin and ed i will pay you both to just come and hang out
ok pete and i hang out for free
one thing we don’t do enough in this dirtbiking krewe is hang out, that is for sure
zr is not a dick, is the thing. ;_?
haha tombot otm
sorry ally, if anything i’d probably be swayed by your cat and pick up some bad habits. with my opposable thumb you’d probably wind up with a shit-ton MORE q-tips in the laundry room.
that is actually not possible, is the thing
once again we are all need to get new jobs
hey dirtchixors and dirtboyz who wants to shop tomorrow? actually I don’t get paid until Friday so maybe after that?
“dirtboyz” is a thing I never, ever want to be a part of
Also: if I don’t have another fucking conference call Friday night that is the free Suzanne Farrell balay at the Kennedy Center—who wants to do that?
xpost too late tombot
WAIT WAIT FREE DRUGS GO BACK TO THAT DUDES
also i’ll shop every day but we can wait for paychecks too, that’s cool
SUP ANGRY CLUB FRIENDS!!! I’M FUCKING ANGRY
is this about your butt again
SOME CATHOLICS BEAT HIM UP
GET EQUIPPED WITH ICE BUTT
ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT CATHOLICS? I LOVE CATHOLICS
ME TOO YUM YUM SAVIOR FLESH
+ FREE WINE EVERY SUNDAY
pervertpriestjoke.jpg
TRANSUBSTANTIATION ENGAGED
GET EQUIPPED WITH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST
hey KLG & MW there was a trivia question about the baltimore museum of dentistry on monday
xp—i can see that on a t-shirt
hey ZR I hope the answer was BRAINTONGUE
This is what we do to catholics around here:
FUCK YOU
dar1a and i are the only former catholics around here, aren’t we
Us Britishers aren’t all smiles and battenberg cake, you know.
me too, Ally!
WRONG ALLYZAY, WHAT’S UP BLOOD OF CHRIST
YES AWESOMES let’s go to church and get ashed on!
I hate Ash Wednesday. Actually, I hate anything to do w/Easter. I fainted once at church on Palm Sunday to prove my point.
if you want to get ashed on you can just come over here
SOME EMPLOYERS ARE OFFERING TO ASH ON YOU
ok every pet i have ever had has died on easter or immediately before
Did the pet MOVE THE STONE AND RISE FROM THE DEAD? I THOUGHT NOT.
ok alex but do you have the blood of christ in your apartment, i didn’t notice it last time
Ally = Holy Mary of Small Mammals
blood of christ = gin
dcilx = dirty mary crazy larry
we can make communion wafer nachos.
body of christ=superchunk
ok no
dar1a and i are the only former catholics around here, aren’t we
no, me too. surprisingly it was harder to get out of the columbia record and tape club when i was 10 than it was to get out of the catholic church when i was 18.
“surprisingly”
god do those record clubs still exist?? that was one of the stupidest things i ever did!
my mom was catholic, but left cuz she wouldn’t sign the contract saying she’s raise us as such after marrying my heathen pater
surprising in the sense that those claiming to be offering everlasting salvation might try to be a little more persuasive about their product than those hawking ac/dc 8 tracks.