kinda feel like this is confounded’s shiz
this is mac lethal’s blog
dude this is fake as hell and not really that funny
WHEN WILL CBS GIVE THIS MAN A TV SHOW?
dude this is fake as hell and not really that funny
Not to mention uncomfortably racist at times.
Yeah but “Hustla da Rabbit” would have been one hell of a display name.
honestly
Not to mention uncomfortably racist at times.
yeah which is why i’m surprised that ILX seems okay with this
I spoke with everybody; we’re all good.
FORKSCLOVETOFU STARTING AN INDISPENSABLE THREAD HERE
THERES A TUMBLR I SAW IT
oh don’t be dicks, ppl
I’m sure every single thread you’ve started has been 100% awesome, right?
dude this is fake as hell and not really that funny
― I’m in the mood to party (J0n Arbuckle), Friday, December 2, 2011 7:24 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Permalink
if frogbs is calling you out for some shit that is unfunny and basically racist, it’s time to look in the mirror
if you find achewood funny you will probably like this site, “texts from bennett” which features texts from a white guy saying things that black people usually say *head explodes in a pile of subtext*
actually forks this is definitely threadworthy but ILX just ain’t the place for this kind of thing
oh wait, this is the sandbox
I never even looked at the site. All I saw was “Hustla da Rabbit” and that made me chuckle. People hiding behind fake DN’s to bully a regular poster is just p lame imo.
ok, i was being a dick. i have tendencies in that direction. forksclovetofu seems like a really nice guy. but i find literally every “funny” thing he posts to be not funny, ever. like someone who, every time they try to sing something, is a half-tone flat? just consistently tone-deaf. you can’t hate them for it, especially if they’re really nice otherwise. so you just try to ignore it. but sometimes you can’t help but say something! STOP SINGING, YOU’RE ALWAYS FLAT. STOP POSTING LOLS, THEY AREN’T LOL. i’m matt p btw.
t bums me out that a protest movement in america cant get motivated until a bunch of tumblr whites start to feel like “have nots” instead of the privileged “haves” they’ve always been all along. Sorry you spent too much on college tuition, Brandon. Poor people have been feeling this for years, welcome aboard, lil homie.
― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 4:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark
x-post
lol OK, fair enough and of course I know what you mean, we all have those people. I guess it just seemed lazy to be a jerk about to one another poster while using new/diff name. I didn’t mean to get all amped about it.
“a jerk about to one another poster ”
woah—brain finger miscommunication here
“a jerk about to one another poster
who is nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnunhunhunhunhunhunuhnh
forksclovetofu
forkclovestofu
t bums me out that a protest movement in america cant get motivated until a bunch of tumblr whites start to feel like “have nots” instead of the privileged “haves” they’ve always been all along. Sorry you spent too much on college tuition, Brandon. Poor people have been feeling this for years, welcome aboard, lil homie.
― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 4:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark
― dayo, Friday, December 2, 2011 6:57 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Permalink
ok so deal w it is def whiney
nuh uh
who is nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnunhunhunhunhunhunuhnh
― flexidisc, Friday, December 2, 2011 2:00 PM (54 seconds ago) Bookmark Permalink
read posts more closely!
who is matt p
lol
who is flexidisc?!
who is matt p
― flexidisc, Friday, December 2, 2011 2:03 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink
yes lol
i used to be known as dutch mayo on the other board
fry sauce?
but i find literally every “funny” thing he posts to be not funny, ever.
some people just live on different planes, man
i’m just surprised we aren’t having a conniption over this—I mean, MY GOD
also it’s probably as fake as every single post on “texts from last night”
Well yeah, of course it’s fake. I think it’s probably too dumb for anyone to actually give a shit about tbh.
some people just live on different planes, man
word, i should know that. sorry forks.
supposedly the guy posting the texts:
(not Bennett)
didn’t know dealwithit.gif could rap too
max_read: i fucking told you you goddamn moron dumbshits http://t.co/sjrnpHVx
WOAH WOAH WOAH
1000TimesYes: The second “Texts From Bennett” turned out to be fake it immediately went from kind of funny to kind of racist. #prettyflyforawhiteguy
i’m not whiney fwiw
― dealwithit.gif, Thursday, December 1, 2011 3:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark
totally fucking whiney fwiw
lol there was a second when this was not fake?
yeah, exactly
Sherry Sprain
My thing, is most kids don’t care enough about spelling and grammar to care that they sound like complete douchenuggets. I cant tell you how many kids I want to bash their head together and wag my finger into their faces, telling them to get their crap together. My kids had better not ever do douchenugget speak... or else!
Elizabeth Galloway · Bethel High School
I know a kid that sounds just like Bennett so this is still hugely funny. 21 years old Juggalo wannabe pot head, who acts like he’s all gangster. Can’t spell worth a crap, didn’t graduate because he was just lazy, who lives in a farm town with his 1 year old son. But he knows it all and will tell you so. I don’t care of Bennett is fictional.. he mirrors a portion of the kids his age.
Reply · 11 · · about an hour ago
o hey, i missed all this.
you know, i had sorta resolved to take advantage of the sandbox to indulge in a little e-thug badditude since i’m not a mod here and i sometimes feel like playing a messageboard character who comes back with a “OH YEAH MATT P THEN WHY DON’T YOU BLOW ME HAH?” but
Elizabeth Galloway says it’s a-ok to be racist as long as you reinforce her stereotypes!
my first exposure to this was someone showing me the pic from the first post itt and my response was “that’s very reminiscent of AIM chats with ethan” (more for the talking about diff’t topics for hours w/ little or no response from the other person than for what he was saying)
god this is just the lamest attempt at comedy i’ve ever seen: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvgem02Zpm1qk9nrro1_500.png
the real tell is the straight mans responses
what a poorly formed tumblr
The Smoking Gun called my father at home without any explanation for how they got his number.
In order to protect his family, obviously, he would not give them any information and told them this. The writer of the story then explained his speculation as to what he THOUGHT the truth was. My dad said he was wrong and wouldn’t comment much further.
I caught wind of the journalist calling my dad, so when he called me, I was very upset. It was very out of line to call my dad at home and try to manipulate him. I yelled at the journalist and told him to stop stalking my family members and that I would give him no information on who Bennett is.
For the record, Bennett is Bennett’s legal middle name. I will not disclose his first or last night, to protect him and the blog. He is unaware it exists, and I want to keep it that way.
It is 100% real, and I want everyone to know that.
god i need to stop looking at this weak bullshit: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luka1g22O51qk9nrro1_500.jpg
like Mac Lethal, one of the main tenants of comedy is knowing when to pack it in, and when you’re outed as being fake, defiantly insisting it’s not a joke kills whatever remnants of humor were left....
i want the lasagna one to be real so bad
i couldnt place what the tone of this was then it came to me, a ventriloquist and dummy in conversation
haha yes totally
I can do all kinds of dances / I can imitate Sage Francis
XD
The Smoking Gun tried hard to out “Bennett”? That sounds faker than him being a real person.
this went real fast from “innocent fun” to “CONSPIRACY THEORY MEDIA TRYING TO FEED YOU LIES” blog
he just started to blog his cousin’s texts and looked back and told me baby it’s real
and I say I ain’t doubt you for a second, now let Smoking Gun tell me how it feels
LMFAO at the OMFG GONNA GET A I CAN HAS CHEESEBUERGER STYLE BOOK DEAL WIT DIS SHIT watermark on all the photos now, smfh, mac lethal you herb
it’s no hipster puppies
I CAN HAS BALLZ ON MY CHIKEN SANDWICH?
Do ppl call this out as fake cos they reckon theres no way anyone would talk/think like Bennett? because I can assure you people do (my ex’s brother, for starters).
oh there totally are — the fakeness is deeply felt on a completely different level
I dont disagree there.
really the give away is the dudes superfake plot furthering responses
hes like the guy in bad science fiction novels that keeps prodding the characters to provide crucial information to the reader that the characters wouldnt normally spell out. ‘oh rygel-7 you say? what is that exactly?’
omg you just made me choke on a grain of brown rice
with laughs
ack twice
texts from bennett is really the poor man’s karen & ellen letters
karen & ellen letters so fake too :\
karen & ellen letters are funny, tho
karen and ellen letters are fake and hilarious and not racist
texts from bennett is only one of those three things
is the ‘racist’ part of this just all the uses of the n-word? because ventriloquism of a fictional white person by an actual existing white person that involves the n-word and a lot of ‘black slang’ is definitely sketchy but i dunno if racist is really the word for it.
there’s an whiff of #prettyflyforawhiteguy “white people shouldn’t act like this”
karen & ellen letters so fake too :\
― dayo, Sunday, December 4, 2011 10:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink
Feel like there’s a 7% chance k&a are real and they’re just fucking w/the landlord
k&a are real and they’re just fucking w/the landlord
I think they’re either real and they’re just fucking with the landlord, or they’re fake and the landlord (Mark Tarses, who seems to be a real person) created them for laughs a long time ago.
someone (a former ilxor, actually) mentioned the letters in an alt.fan.momus newsgroup posting dating back to 2000:
“The Karen and Ellen Letters, Volumes 1 and 2” by Karent Prescott, Ellen Goldsmith and Mark Tarsus—Purports to be a series of letters between two UC Berkeley students and their long-suffering landlord. I got it from a friend who got it from a friend at a Kinko’s in San Francisco, and it’s composed entirely of xeroxed pages bound together like university course materials. It’s also just about the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I’ve had it for years and read it at least ten times. It’s got true humor staying power, possibly because it’s impossible to tell if it’s factual or fictional.
and someone started a blogspot about them (which no one paid any attention to) a few years ago. if they’re fake, then someone faked them long before tumblr was a thing.
At some point I have a “Karen and Ellen Letters” style thing to scan in and put on Tumblr/ILX: in junior high school, a somewhat odd kid who was a friend of mine would pretend that he was a RCMP named Mr. MacEntire. He would go into character as a Canadian Mountie and wouldn’t stop. This was one of a menagerie of characters, each with its own catchphrases (MacEntire’s was “Respect Your Elders”) and idiosyncrasies, that he felt compelled to go into rather than deal with the social rigors of just, you know, being a person.
Anyway, he would draw pictures of this guy and the characters in his universe and write and tell complex stories about them and integrate me and my classmates into it. They were really odd little sketches, single panel things and he would give me two or three of these a day. He sent me a few christmas cards. The coup de grace was when he wrote a twenty page single space autobiography of Mr. MacEntire and followed that up with a full autobiography of HIS WIFE who he would ALSO go into character as.
Anyways, there’s plenty more to the story but the key is that I kept a thick folder of this stuff, maybe 100 pages or so and I keep meaning to scan it in. It’s pretty amazing.
Do ppl call this out as fake cos they reckon theres no way anyone would talk/think like Bennett? because I can assure you people do (my ex’s brother, for starters).
I know people that do as well but this has a real big “texts from last night” vibe where each word seems placed for maximum humor potential. It really sounds like someone writing a character
karen & ellen letters so fake too :\
― dayo, Sunday, December 4, 2011 10:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink
Feel like there’s a 7% chance k&a are real and they’re just fucking w/the landlord
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Monday, December 5, 2011 12:17 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark
yeah if they are real then it’s a 100% chance that they are just fucking with the landlord
Rolo Tony otm. I worked with a kid who could have written all these texts but they’re way too intentional to be real.
my biggest problem I don’t get what bennett’s reason for talking w/ the other dude is, even within the fictional universe
best one is when he asks for the 1st tupac cd
its a good conversational ploy to just start asking for the 1st tupac cd imho
Yeah, I might try it out myself.
say a bunch of crazy shit then before anyone has a chance to react ask for the 1st tupac cd, boom youve got yrself a tupac cd
hey does anybody have the 1st tupac cd
brb fetching tupac cd
that’s the one with “bennett’s got a baby” on it, isn’t it
I got into a Facebook dialogue with the guy behind the Karen and Ellen Letters. He was claiming that Mark the landlord “exaggerated about 10–15% of what’s in there” — which confused me, because that would suggest that the letters are not original copies. So now I feel like maybe the letters are rooted in events that really happened but that Mark imaginatively “reconstructed” them years later.
the tumblr with the real IM conversations between a cat and his owner is much better
link?
i listened to ladysmith black mambazo cover a paul simon song. it was exquisite.
reverse racism
now thats what i call REAL MUSIC
She breezed through, “Why not use your mentality, wake up, stand up to reality” and messed up the meter of the rhyme. Still mad.
I mean REAL RACISM
reverse racism taste
chill,
I think these covers veer towards racist when they go to great lengths to make it clear that they’ve “rescued” these “secretly great songs” from “rap crap” and put them to “real music”. Or maybe thats just rockism.
Does this really exist? I mean hip-hop isn’t exactly easy to adapt to other genres without sounding “off” which I guess is supposed to be “hilarious”
Either way I don’t think this is racist in the slightest. Songs get covered between genres all the time and the results are usually terrible. IMO all the racism talk ITT is coming from the idea that it’s white people dealing with “things that black people do (?)” so it’s easy to call them racist scumbags w/o any thought whatsoever
Given the real pain and peril in the world, worrying about this is like getting bummed out by a pimple while the earthquake liquifies your street.
jesus h christ dude
but we can squeeze the pimple xp
message board people who are worried that other message board people are too worried about something trifling are like the kings of concern trolls
or i guess reverse concern trolls? i’m confusing myself now.
concerned
or just a little thick
sexts from bennett
You may refer to me as ‘Your Majesty’.
i mean really, everything that gets popular from Hootie & the Blowfish to Li’l Wayne to Nickelback gets torn apart by everybody, this whole “debate” is dumb as hell
yep, that makes sense
coop has a point here j0n A; i mean the ‘lol rap’ cover version thing does exist and there is an unsavory racist subtext within it bcz the lols are at the expense of certain cultural signifiers
THICK WITE RAPPING CONCERN TROLLS LEARN THEIR ONE WEIRD SECRET CLICK HERE SEXY
ya but this whole thing started w/ the ‘get low’ cover which was far from a lol rap cover
get lol
naw the whole thing began when yrs truly posted a link trashing the whole practice which included the get low cover amongst others
nah the whole thing began when she wrote the article
LOL rap songs
also the get low cover is text book lol wites rapping
anyway the whole thing really started w/ two live jews no
tho i feel like there must be an earlier example
yeah HOW on earth is the “Get Low” one different from Dynamite Hack or Karmin or the Gourds or w/e
amish paradise
thats ‘Cook Wit Me Now’
White People make every thing sound happier. #Real Talk.
nikkilala9121 18 hours ago
Lol this was funny , and the only reason why I think it’s funny is because white people did it .—lmao
Arguments4lifejk 1 day ago
Your Friendly Guitar Salesperson finds this to be reprehensible.....
pablomigraine 4 days ago
What makes it even better is that it’s a hundred fold improvement over the original piece of shit song.
hardcore302 1 week ago
I never knew this song could be so white-fyed *slow clap*
C2torials 1 week ago
tho i feel like there must be an earlier example
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, December 29, 2011 4:12 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink
Beastie Boys?
haha
coop has a point here j0n A; i mean the ‘lol rap’ cover version thing does exist and there is an unsavory racist subtext within it bcz the lols are at the expense of certain cultural signifiers
yeah I guess I can see why some people here would get hung up on that but it’s not as though “Get Low” or “Gin and Juice” aren’t ridiculous anyway, I mean they’re clearly meant to be funny in some way and therefore are overripe for parody, meaning that yes people are going to make fun of this and no they are almost never funnier than the original. I suppose I can see how you can call that racism but it’s like three levels removed from anything meaningful whatsoever
nice catch whiney
yeah but check out the comments from the Get Low video that amon is posting
(xp)
I remember that SITTIN ON THE TOILET youtube i used to tease forks with because it was invented for his pazz and jop ballot?
I remember once I was looking for it, and I stumbled across a now-deleted video called “Sittin On Tha Toilet (White Version)” and it was like a twenty something librarian looking white girl doing it in dainty, stilted english, providing extra enunciation—sitting on the toilet. And in her upload info section said THIS IS NOT RACIST and someone obviously clued her in that it was because now it’s gone. And whenever I hear twee indie rock version of a rap song, I think of this misguided white girl on the toilet.
sittin on tha
underrated toilets I have called racist
flush this thread
dying @ “misguided white girl on the toilet”
its usually guys who are misguiding on the toilet iirc har har
Article 19.
All parody songs are punishable not only by swift and inexorable death but private citizens are empowered to effect the sentence. Also, the guilty party’s family is legally enjoined to refrain from posting on comments sections or message boards.
It’s the “Whole Foods Parking Lot” guy!
that hyundai commercial is basically “mac miller’s appeal” in 38 seconds
i been thinking about these guys alot
not because its racist, but because I don’t even know if mcdonalds can accomadate people who want “don’t be frontin son, no seeds on the bun”
my god cant believe i havent complained to the internet abt that hyundai comercial yet
^^
i think i caught that ad over the holidays and immediately proceeded to drink away the memories of it
When I first saw this commercial I lmao! Thought this dude was vanilla ice
03Gs430 3 days ago
I hate this commercial. Why is a white guy acting like a black gang banger?
tazoz626 1 week ago
hah
i thought the Gourds song was funny
cool couple videos
that’s not as obnoxious as the swagga wagon one
djdave cool
im just trying to be creative why do people hate me
getting thrust into this weird zone
my god
destroy it
destroy it all
DROP THE BOMB
EXTERMINATE THE BRUTES
what a wonderful composer u r djdave
lol u spent ur day continuing this conversation
im doing important work here forks
thank god someone is
ok you have succeeded in making me want to punch djdave in the nuts
like i said important work
it is conceivable i am in the same city as djdave
davidwiteman.com
she said “want to” not “just did”; work not that important
oh thank god he moved to LA
David Wittman is an award winning film and commercial composer from Berkeley, California. He grew up playing drums and DJing at a young age, and moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to attend UCLA where he received a degree in Economics and Musicology.
In 1999 he began working for renowned commercial music house “Elias Arts” in Santa Monica where his scores have earned top honors in advertising including a Cannes Lion, Clio, AICP, and First Boards award for excellence in original music. He has been featured in SHOOT, Creativity, Boards, and Entertainment Weekly magazines, as well as The Wall Street Journal, Hollywood Reporter, and Huffington Post.
In 2006 he contributed to the score for director Dito Montiel’s debut “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” (Robert Downey Jr., Shia LaBoeuf) working alongside mentor Jonathan Elias. After the success of the film followed the scores for “Fighting” (Channing Tatum, Terrence Howard, 2009) and “The Son of No One” (Al Pacino, Ray Liotta, 2011.) In 2010 he worked with up-and-coming independent filmmaker Victoria Mahoney on her gritty debut “Yelling to the Sky” (Zoe Kravitz, Gabourey Sibide) premiering in Berlin and SXSW. He and Jimmy Haun co-wrote the score for David Arquette’s directorial debut thriller “The Tripper” back in 2006, and Wittman most recently completed the original music for Sony Pictures “Never Back Down II” directed by Michael Jai White.
In 2011 his music video “Whole Foods Parking Lot” received over 3 million hits on YouTube, and earned him appearances on the Today Show, ABC and NBC News, NPR Radio, and Bloomberg TV. His creative collective “Fog and Smog” comprised of friends and creative associates from the SF Bay Area and LA continues to release videos and work on projects together.
lol u spent ur day continuing this conversation
― Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Thursday, December 29, 2011 8:39 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Permalink
the only thing worse than a drive-by smh is when it’s coming from someone who already spent their entire morning itt
“what’s with these homies dissing my girl/why do they gotta front”
No Cuomo
hot damn! you mean i can loathe that song because it’s racist, and not just because it’s fucking annoying?
“what did we ever do to these guys, to make them so VIOLENT”
djdave2005
lol
lol i forgot ‘swagger wagon’ was directed by that piece of shit observe & report guy
i like to imagine djdave having a mixtape full of drops from jeff bridges just like the commercial
“you could drop... a beat-beat-beat-beat-b-b-b-b-beat-beat” ::air horns::
swagger wagon dad is from upright citizens brigade
/Onion News Network
MC ROVE