douglas fir

chinese pooping tree

manufacturing plant

get a bonsai and cut it into the shape of lingbert’s face

then he can either a. watch over u or b. u can give it to him like lionel ritchie’s girl did

or u could save yourself the trouble????

wow this thread got creepy!

please

i just want something nice and green to enhance my atmosphere.

perhaps you would like a moon made out of green cheese on a stick.

you could let something mold

ok new requirement: wld like to enhance air and not release toxic spores

it might be time to stop releasing these demanding posts.

i know, i am ridiculous with my crazy expectations!!!

found it!

It’s called the Corpse flower because it is propagated by carrion flies, so it exudes an odor intended to attract them. You may imagine what it smells like. The scientific name is Amorphophallus titanum

“hello? is this the plant you’re looking for?”

tbh u have better teeth than that give urself some love

i do have pretty teeth

you’re welcome

never even had braces!

chinese pooping tree

― jergins, Thursday, March 12, 2009 6:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

dont think this is a real tree

^obviously never been to china

i have never been to china, but i still need a plant!!!

this might be a fun plant to have on desk

looks like he might have some mischievous secrets to help the day along

monday surprise!!!!

thankig u, 3l41n3!!!

shoulda got a tomato plant imo

i’m not one to turn down gifted desk toppers.

but you are one to googleproof desk top gifters.

force of habit to protect the innocent, i think.

i need some advice re: changes in leaf color on my plant.

if only there were someone who knew about plants. hmm.

put food coloring in the water to change the leaf color?

the gulf between expert opinions and lxpert opinions might be wider than previously thought.

is the color yellow? it may mean your plant is dying

yellow or brown

it is more bright green spots?

i am concerned my office mate’s space heater may be affecting it.

maybe it’s meant to die, this plant

maybe it means it is happy

i might have killed it, this plant

3l41n3 is probably laughing her ass off at you right now because she did it on purpose

um. aren’t plants supposed to be green?

what color was it before? maybe it is just now coming to life.

it was darker green before :(

i think 3l41n3 may be able to help? i think she comes in tomorrow. i want her to tell me what kind of plant it is so i can research how to take care of it.

3l41n3 is a plant wizard. she has saved many of my boss’s dying plants and this was one she made flourish from a trimming!

i predict less water is the answer

it is a philodendron. 3l41n3 says it’s ok for the coloring to be this way. :) what a relief.

i’m going to a really important plant sale next week but i need only stuff that i can keep inside in pots for the time being. i’m sad because i want this pepper called fish:

Pre-1870s African-American heirloom. Beautiful green and white variegated foliage on 18”–24“ plants. Pendant fruits 2”–3” long, ripen from cream with green stripes to orange with brown stripes to all red. Traditionally used in oyster and crab houses around Chesapeake Bay. Perfect for salsa. 80 days from transplant. Mild to hot in flavor.

but i think peppers need a lot of heat and sun

thriving!

wow that is a healthy desk plant

i didn’t go to the plant sale! as much as i love plants i decided i should not buy any before moving :\

you can always look for something indigenous or well-suited to the area when you move!

plants, outside

people, inside

i think you guys might be ready for some truth and since it is saturday i am ready to tell it. plants should stay outdoors. plants *must* stay outdoors. it is a question of health, cleanliness, and sanity. this is important and i am letting you guys in first on an idea that will sweep across the world in the coming months.

take a moment with me and examine your leg. see that red mark? bug bite. know where it came from? no you don’t. a plant. a plant in your house. you don’t want to know what research has shown but i have to reveal it. for every plant in your house that you’ve had for three months, one ant has bitten your face. have you had four plants for two years? 24 ants have bitten your face. you can deny it but then you start to think back. you probably blamed a boyfriend! haha it was the ant. that’s science. you can’t deny science.

when you get married what happens on a wedding night? he picks you up and carries you across the threshold. think of indoor plants the same way, you the man and the plant a lady. you never want to take a plant across the threshold of your front door. in the same way that people breed, so do bugs, but even more. larvae, little microscopic bugs you can’t even see, even if you squint, four eyes, you can’t see them. they breed in your house, in your drains and in the attic. they can breed in your lungs if they’re feeling forthright. this is a danger! sure it seems innocuous, bringing green inside, but i cannot stress this enough: plants outside, people in. you will thank me. you will see high returns on your health and happiness if you re-establish this line. what did cavepeople do? they did not bring plants in the cave, because they would die, and because green stayed on the outside. consider returning to your roots.

do you have allergies? have they been acting up in the past weeks as spring has sprung? you’ll never guess what exacerabates that. yep. do you wake up unhappy, wondering what kind of life you have made for yourself? take a shot at what’s bringing you down.

while i can guarantee you will feel better, you may need to see for yourself. take your plants outside. give it a week. see how you feel.

i will be around on this thread for the next few hours if there are any questions. i am doing this because i am a friend, because i care.

PLANTS OUTSIDE, PEOPLE IN

i might actually go tomorrow. i’m not worried about indigenousness because anything that can grow in cbus can grow in bmore (bmore is only slightly hotter/more humid) but i don’t wanna crush anything. i might buy a rosemary plant though. and a flowering plant.

jergins why did you spend so much time writing something so wrong

i’m a little disappointed in myself for never getting around to putting anything in my window box :(

when you get married what happens on a wedding night? he picks you up and carries you across the threshold. think of indoor plants the same way, you the man and the plant a lady.

no

THINK OF INDOOR PLANTS THE SAME WAY

that is not how i think of ladies or plants

you disgust me

examine the bug bite on your leg and get back to me

i have a bug bite on my ankle, but no plants in my apartment right now. what does it mean?

spores in the attic, previous plants obv

i asked the first star i saw tonight if a ant could bite your typing finger.

how did you know i was a one-finger typer?

a spore travelled on the wind across the ocean and whispered it to me, which made me cough.

how did you know i was a one-finger typer?

― jergins, Saturday, April 25, 2009 6:14 PM Bookmark

maybe bc your posts are so pointed

goodbye plant, i will miss u!