whoa “4 months pass...” !!

has anyone else revived an old thread in the last while? i was totally confused at first.

awesome, keith! <3 u, as always.

i am afraid the across-the-streeters are going to sing again tonight.

i’m gonna crank my music now as a pre-emptive strike. then it won’t be too asshole when i turn it up after they start to sing. right? cuz, you know, i started my music first.

though i don’t know why i’m worried about being asshole to them anyway.

i’m hitting them with my schaffel stick they won’t even know what to do

it started

Godspeed, dear lxy!

::)) thank you, txa.

it’s over and i managed to avoid the majority of the horror by moving to the (formerly daisy’s) stoop in back. also they were indoors this time so, though their door was left open, most of the caterwauling stayed in their house.

i <3 u glowering on the back stoop.

i was rather wilty out there. probably my brow was furrowed such that a passer-by might think i was afflicted by leaf miners.

i don’t know where to put this but it’s making me lol

YOU ARE NOT A FOOD WRITER AND WILL NEVER BE YOU NASTY LITTLE MAN!!

^ should be pasted into the comments of every blog restaurant “review”

since when do english guys get to comment on food.

i don’t know what this is so i’m putting it here

that looks like an alien placenta

hey jergins, i remembered that the 3rd name for chickpeas i was trying to think of was cecci.

i feel the sandbox should know that on this week’s wait wait... don’t tell me!, neko case is asked questions about necco wafers. i feel like this is pertinent to many sandboxers’ interests and likes.

you know what that means, don’t you? we need to invite peter sagal and carl kasell to the sandbox!

um HELL YES PLEASE

i always thought it was neko like it rhymes-with geek-o but maybe it’s neko-rhymes-with-echo?

i hope ytth doesn’t see this thread, i’m always correcting his pronunciation of her name

no, you are correct! neko the singer is like geek-o, the wafers rhyme with echo.

phew! i thought i was gonna have to take this to domestic outrage thread

lol

i love an averted crisisdomestic outrage!

so the store where i mostly work doesn’t have a break room; instead, it has a bathroom with a cushion on the floor (and it only has the cushion because i brought it in). yesterday the girl that came to relieve me needed to use the bathroom while i was about halfway through my lunch break. i come back in and she has taken a HUGE DUMP, completely stunk out the tiny bathroom and then tried to cover over it with this even more horrendous-smelling cinnamon air freshner. i almost gagged. then when i eventually had to use the toilet i discovered she’d also left big skidmarks.

jesus christ.

commercial outrage of the highest order.

i truly feel for her

oh, and the store right next to me just got robbed

i actually saw the bad guys:

an african american fat guy in a fuschia pink polyester sweatsuit

and his companion

a fat african american girl with about a pound of yellow eyeshadow

haha i love when bad guys wear really conspicuous clothing while robbing someone. he should consider a huge white tshirt for next time!

sometimes they do a quick change after the fact so you’re looking for a dude in a crazy pink sweatshirt but he’s walking down the street wearing a gray hoodie.

but something tells me that is not the case w/ these fine young criminals.

Thirty men crashed a Euclid Avenue house party early Sunday morning and became violent and destructive when they were told to leave, one of the homes’ residents said. The 26-year-old resident said that at about 1:15 a.m., several SUVs and other cars pulled up to his residence, and about 30 men exited the vehicles. As they approached the house, some guests confronted them to ask who they knew at the party, but they apparently did not know anyone. Even though they were told to go away, the men went into the party anyway. A few minutes later an altercation ensued, and as the men were leaving, they threw large rocks at the house, breaking the kitchen window. One man picked up a grill and smashed another back window at the house before fleeing. The residence and partygoers did not record the vehicles’ license plate numbers.

http://www.vimeo.com/5541058

i like to put yogurts and fruits in the blender and i just ruined one and wasted a mango by accidentally throwing a peach pit in there and i drank some of it before i realized. peach pits contain cyanide. am i gonna die?

harbl?

i’m still alive

had me worried

i think i’m going to be ok

we are your internet friends

we are holding you close

to our electronic bosom

uh

I love to put lemon and lime peels in the garbage disposal because grinding them releases a lovely citrus fragrance but once I didn’t realize and some tamarind seeds got down there and it made very sad sounds but I think it’s feeling better now.

your garbage disposal /= harbs’ stomach

harbl, you could take some vitamin B12 as a precaution. But I think you would have to eat a big handful of peach seeds to really have a Mr. Yuck-level problem.

love to put lemon and lime peels in the garbage disposal because grinding them releases a lovely citrus fragrance

this is my favorite part of the day after a night of excessive gin+tonics. Once the hangover is blunted enough the noise is not a factor anymore.

yeah after i dumped it down the drain i realized the pit didn’t even really get chopped up. the inside of it was exposed and it tasted kind of bitter but i think i won’t end up going into a coma after all

i’m afraid you’re going to have to post here more regularly for the amount of time it takes your body to process your smoothie, harbl. say, at least once every half hour until noon tomorrow? so we don’t send in the EMTs, you see.

ok i will check in periodically

on behalf of the sandbox community, i thank you.

still alive, eating an omelette

wow back to solid foods already! good for you, harbs! knew you’d pull through!

please don’t tell us it’s a blowfish omelette garnished with rhubarb leaves

it was a poke omelette with snake venom

lol poke salet

do you have any activated charcoal on hand?

xp i HOPE those salet leaves have been thrice boiled!!

oopsssssss

that sputtering there at the end makes me nervous harbl

iirc a handful of of raw bitter almonds will neutralize whatever cyanide you might’ve ingested. I’m rooting for you!

ok i’m going to go to all the food stores asking about raw bitter almonds

jk i’m fine. still alive!

this has been a tough day, putting me through the ringer over here!

there was a poke plant (tree?) in front of my house in columbus. it was huge and poisonous. i think i might have seen one the other day here. i am interested in them. a very appalachian plant.

i play music with these dudes sometimes, we play crappy bluesrock and it would be unremarkable except that we have this bass:

what do you play jergins

the jergaphone?

that bass is amazing.

jergins, i had no idea of your musical talents!!

i beat the fuck out of the drums

the jergaphone?

LOL

beating the fuck out of the drums sounds more rage-y than blues-y but what do i know

jergins, can we hear your band?

haha no. we haven’t recorded anything. it’s basically an after-work cover band. i will say this though? where we practice has to be the SWEETEST space ever, a 22000 sq ft warehouse full of props and sets.

can i be yr manager?

hell yes girl beat these drunks into su bmission no more solos keep it tight and then gwt us up there onstage in seattles best bars and clubs

next year: headlining block party

i will work my magic

adultery is a misdemeanor subject to a $10 fine

k

that’s guaranteed not to be on the exam but at least i know it now

what if youre not the married one? any fine?

can you get a buy 2 get 1 free deal?

hmm i think common law adultery both parties were guilty but nowadays probably just the married one

i have all these crimes in my flashcards i think never appear anymore, like seduction: inducing a chaste, unmarried woman to engage in sexual intercourse by promising to marry her

well helllllloooo there cutie

no you have to try it on someone “chaste”

this morning on the way to the library i said good morning to some old people on a stoop and this lady said “good morning baby!” like i was a kitten or something, or a baby

my favorite felony is mayhem, it has something to do with dismembering someone

maryland doesn’t have mayhem but it completes the acronym for the common law felonies

Murder

Robbery

&

Manslaughter

Rape

Sodomy

Larceny

Arson

Mayhem

Burglary

lady said “good morning baby!”

did you like it? me, i love shit like that to a possibly unreasonable degree.

i used to secretly like it when the ppl in my puerto rican neighborhood called me mami.

yeah it caused me to have a silly grin for an entire block lol

another time i had to go to a ups drop box that is inside a state office building so you have to show your id and the lady at the desk looked at my license and said “awwww you look like a little kid!” and she showed it to the other security guard who went “HAAAAAA” and i acted embarrassed and i was like “but that’s what i look like...” but i was also giggling to myself

:):):)

one time last summer this dapper old man (straw boater, seersucker jacket, white shirt and pants, bow tie) said, “heyyyy, you’re CUTE!” because i was wearing a 50s-ish skirt and top.

it was kind of the best thing that ever happened.

following the example of MY LAWYER, i had ice cream for breakfast

cheesecake is one of my favourite breakfast foods

aw

As I ride beside Katherine, a newfound friend of only a few days, stark naked on a rental bike, a man on the side of the street drops his pants in solidarity, clapping slowly as we jiggle by.

jammin 2 the message is MORE