my job’s boring so i pass a lot of my time making fun of my co-workers. they’re actor types that appreciate improv as much as they can: i spit quick while they watch. the one i make fun of the most, she’s into musical theatre and jesus and not her husband, those are the three pillars even though one’s falling down. she goes to ‘home church’ on sundays where this muppet looking guy i call The Youth Pastor runs things.

her: it’s M4tt’s birthday tonight, i’m going over to his party after work.

me: the youth pastor? oh, cool.

her: yeah, i’m excited, it’s going to be fun.

me: what do you say to a youth pastor on his birthday? what, “you’re not getting older, you’re getting closer to god”?

the purest silence.

“i spit quick while they watch”

i am starting to feel bad for lxy, starting this thread. she’s going to be posting on here all the time

careful

call ya LEZ 4 sure/short

― jergins, Wednesday, November 5, 2008 10:50 AM

*tips cap*

“spurt reynolds”

lxy: “the best jokes are the ones no one gets.”

me: “the best and the worst, yeah.”

me: “with a name like Amundsen, you should be able to get here in this weather.”

mrs. amundsen: “...”

i laft

boss: “my friend claude, he’s this serial seducer. he can’t help it. he knocked up this girl one time, talked her into getting an abortion. i call him every father’s day and give him shit.”

me: “Gahh, the soda bottle, I can’t open it. Man it’s stuck tight.”

megan: “sorry, that was me.”

me: “kegels paying off?”