an important archive
to kyle, 4/26/08, 2:12 am
Hh drunk funin rand francisco. Wisg yot were here. Nice to ree on tomoqowox.
lxy to me 1:04 am Friday May 2nd:
very serious
to lxy 2:22 am saturday aug 23
Would u go into the sandwich biz w pdx scott? they need thirty five large
to me from EB last night:
OMG. Justine just said chris said he’s not a boob man. And that even though his last girlfriend had fake tits, he never had fun with them. In front of my parents!
sometimes i think about texts i’d have sent if texting had been around when i was drinking (those were the days of not being able to read your cheque stubs in the morning, if you had even bothered to try and fill them in that is, which more often you didn’t, preferring to wave your chequebook around and shout ‘lucky lottery book, every ticket wins a prize!!’ and then be a sad golightly when you got your bank statement), there would have been remorse i am sure.
you never sent drunk mail by post?
i think it would fill me with glee if i got a drunk text from estela
partial transcript of texts between grady and me last night:
me: i am with roxymuzak right now
grady: is she a nerd
me: yeah dug
me: duh
grady: is morbs there
me: u bet and tehresa and my chick
grady: is your girl like ew etf internet ppl
my girlfriend (texting from my phone): ugh no LOVES internets rad
gf: love “chick”
me: that was her btw
me: not sure what she meant
grady: start bar hopping till you find gabbneb
grady: max said chick not me
gf on my phone: love gabbneb awed
gf: sure
gf: believe u Hawaii
there is not nearly enough drunk texting going on, people.
haha xpost. good work, max.
web mail me your number, i will drunk text you
believe u hawaii
there was lots of drunk texting going on last night. for example:
OMGOMGOMG
DID YOU LITEN TO OUR NEW PRESIDENT OMG SO AMAZING!
YAY!!!
omg, i love america.
also, i don’t know if this guy was drunk but he had the wrong number for sure:
Hey..hi this is Alex, from the chat line..do u wanna talk whit me..how u doing..whats ur name n where u calling from sweety..get back please!!
he also left a voicemail but i accidentally erased it. it was rather charming.
if by charming you mean letcherous eurotrash getting by on accent alone, then yes!
(i could hear his tank top)
“does your voice do that because your pants are too tight or because your chest hair is muffling consonants?”
omigosh (as archie says) jergins so funny this still cracks me up
lol someone hacked my preferences
fixed
i missed this text last night after i posted “I AM DRUNK!!!1” because i had to cry from being so drunk and put myself to bed:
U R DRUNK!!!1
thank you, texter, and thank you for the private call, which i also missed because of the drunk.
wtf how did you get so drunk
yeah, huh?
i know! i mean i don’t know!
they definitely serving stiffies at the rosebud rite
i definitely left a word out of that sentence rite
it’s my new favorite phrase
i definitely loving phrasies still rite
if the private call was from the texter then it’s time for a trip to the oopsie thread.
well i know who the text was from but not who the call was from on account of “private call”
i was just guessing it was the same person but maybe that’s my oopsie
i can’t wait to drunk text again. it’s been too long!
my prediction: sunday!
you definitely texting drunkies from the bar rite
if i definitely drinking stiffies rite
plz will you send me drunk postcard tehresa?
i definitely sending drunk postcard!!!!!!!
i would like a drunk text
i def want a drunk something sent to me. text or postcard or whatever. i’m open.
maybe you definitely can has both!
where the fuck am i in this equation?!? this board’s got my name on it you know
send meoi ton numero de telephone cellulaire et je tes texterai!
what language is that
texterai is not a verb omg! lol also *te and not *tes OOPSIE
oh and i was typing me and switched to moi and it came out meoi
kind of like meow.
tip: i don’t think jergins speaks esperanto so you might want to answer him in english
what if i drunk text him in wolof?
what is that?!
(i was going to ask if that’s what language furries speak but it sounded too catty.)
(oh shit, bad accidental pun again.)
ts furries vs furies
easy easy easy choice furries freak me the fuck out
it sounded lolcatty!!!!
once i was in a work luncheon with a bunch of middle and upper level managers, on halloween, and someone dragged this furry with 3 tails and ears into the meeting room and everyone raved about his costume. i was very embarrassed.
hahahaa
thread gone crazy
lingy i wd send u a drunk postcard
aw thanks but don’t get it TOO drunk!!!!!!!
not drunk but EB is too great not to quote:
me: theres a man on the bus with 2 boxes of franzia wine. stocking up on the good stuff!
me: girl next to me has a whole xmas dinnner in a styrofoam box, sent by her mom from nebraska.
EB: sounds like you guys are all set if you get stuck in the snow.
later:
EB: i think we are in end times, lxy. get your Left Behind books and find out what to do!
me: ha! i think its too late for us so get ready to party!
EB: Woo hoo
EB: Satan, here we come! with two boxes of franzia, a carton of smokes and Xmas dinner in a box.
Not nearly enough of this happening.
tza you still need to send them our drunk postcard
i got mine today step, thanks very much!!
It was more of a hangover postcard
Jan 1, 2009 4:14:14 AM
max: lghgjfjfjuskawlepdjdndbdbebrb
i sent a lot of those last night
glad i just switched to the 400 msg/month plan
i decided to check my usage and realized i’m glad i have the 1000 msg/month plan because i’ve already used over 500?
it was a good month for drunk texts.
“quin the emd”
lingbert, i respect you a great deal for not posting here the text i sent you (not drunk, even worse).
post it lingbert
uh oh
well, since you mentioned the fact that it happened at all, you obviously must want people to know about it. okay.
so apparently smoove thought she was texting her boyfriend, but instead she sent it to me. it said:
honey, i just let go the nastiest fart and it reminded me of you
true love right there, folks.
lols
it was more embarrassing than that. but thanks for trying, lingbert. i just wanted to publicly express my gratitude for your discretion.
lingbert is so discrete
now i am v v curious!
it was actually less embarassing than that! it really wasn’t that bad at all.
but i think you’re discrete too, smoove ;-))))))))
well, i was mortified (and no, it wasn’t anything sexually explicit—just v v sentimental). and yes i’m wellknown for being discrete
(except about sappy texting, obv)
i WILL however post lingy’s reply text to my accidental text:
LOL LOVE U 2 BABYCAKES, YOUR [insert pet name for bf] FOR LYFE
(i may be paraphrasing)
guys the word is discreet, i was making a joke about how individually distinct lingbert is
i know, harbl! it was funny ;)
well jeez, smoove, i was trying to be a Man and protect your Honor by not telling the Real Story, but since you keep bringing it up, you OBVIOUSLY want people to know what it said.
here is the text she sent me, verbatim:
jordo-baby, i just did a shart in my knickers, and it felt like us
harbl i think you are a cingular person
i see her more as a sprint
the girl is off-brand bodega pay as you go if i ever met one
a lot of people say that about me
harbl is at&t—ass, titties, and more titties, am i rite?!?!?!
no pappawheelie
no, not rite
lol another dirty picture message from jerginsister lol
my phone company emailed to say i might want to consider changing my account because of the high number of texts i send
A New Photo/Video Message. Click Go/View to see now
from cpet. not clicking.
it’s a rabbit fucking a chicken
haha happy easter
it’s where eggs come from suposably