written an article for an hour despite needing to go to the toilet, not only have I done this, I always do it.

tumoas, your post confuses me.

How?

written an article for an hour despite needing to go to the toilet, not only have I done this, I always do it.

I do this too. I’ll just do this thing first, then I’ll go to the toilet. Go, you idiot! It takes two minutes! Do the thing afterwards.

I always seal up forms and things in their envelopes and then realise that the address I’m supposed to send the form to is now sealed up in the envelope, so I have to open it again.

I’m sure some of you have done this: thought—“gah f*ck it, time to stop reading ILX.” Then you pop open a new window and type in “ilx.wh3rd.net” and hit Enter.

i’ve done everything in this thread at least once apart from tuomas’ first. however this—I’ve also occasionally banged the monitor with my fist if the computer was jamming—has actually worked in the past.

the whole window dirty, opened a new one thing. do you think you thought just the window was dirty?

I always try to control-z in real life which just makes me feel mentally challanged.

do you think you thought just the window was dirty?

I guess so.

I took over the greeting card duties when my man and I got together, and instead of writing ‘mum and dad’ on his parents Christmas card, I wrote their first names.

I always catch myself refering to my mother as “my mother” when I’m complaining about her to MY SISTER. Duh.

I filled up the kettle and tried to put it in the fridge.

I’m sure some of you have done this: thought—“gah f*ck it, time to stop reading ILX.” Then you pop open a new window and type in “ilx.wh3rd.net” and hit Enter.

This is my life.

I too have done all things except try to clean a window by opening another and monitor banging. Here’s two of my other personal best’s:

pointing the car door clicker at a *real* door that needs a key and wondering why the hell it’s not opening.

getting the wash inside the washer and realize I don’t have a quarter for the machine...go back upstairs, reach for the door only to notice the missing quarter has magically appeared in my hand. DOH! DUH!

clear history will set you free

getting the wash inside the washer and realize I don’t have a quarter for the machine...go back upstairs, reach for the door only to notice the missing quarter has magically appeared in my hand. DOH! DUH!

The same thing happened to me last Saturday: I left the flat of a friend, then realized I’d left my bag there, went back to get it, and only when my friend said he couldn’t see it anywhere did I realize it was in my hand. Usually I’m always forgetting the said bag in different places, so I think in this case my brain had already assumed this would happen, except that this time I’d actually remembered to take the bag with me.

I’m sure some of you have done this: thought—“gah f*ck it, time to stop reading ILX.” Then you pop open a new window and type in “ilx.wh3rd.net” and hit Enter.

— Euai Kapaui (tracerhan...), Today 4:09 PM. (tracerhand) (later) (admin) (userip)

QFT

pointing the car door clicker at a *real* door that needs a key and wondering why the hell it’s not opening.

i know this one.

I am becoming a real pro at never pushing elevator buttons when I’m in an elevator, because at my workplace, you have to tell the elevator BEFORE you get in, where you want to go.

Yeah. We have access cards at work that make a little ping and I got home from a rough day at work, one day, waved my wallet with the card in it at the front gate to our building and went from annoyance that it wasn’t working to sheepishness when I realized that several passersby had seen a man with a sour expression waving his wallet at a gate.

Ally, wah-huh? How do you tell the elevator? Are the bottons outside where you wait?

ID card hi-jinx: all the time, but office subway. So I try to wave my wallet at the turnstile and then WHUMP hit the bar, or get out my ID to swipe it at lobby security and then...uh, put it away like I meant to do that.

DAMNIT. My arrows got eaten by HTML censor. Meant to say that I interchange office with subway.

I am becoming a real pro at never pushing elevator buttons when I’m in an elevator, because at my workplace, you have to tell the elevator BEFORE you get in, where you want to go.

This is my work too. Lots of elevator-related embarassment. “Swear to god I know how to operate these things.”

Laurel, yes, the buttons are OUTSIDE the elevator, and then it instructs you which elevator to use to get to your floor. It is completely bizarre and I’ve never seen anything like it and I’m not sure what purpose it serves to go all reverse-elevators like that. And after two years, I have no idea how to work 99.9999999% of elevators in the world.

I also once got really irritable because the metro turnstile wouldn’t take my...NY state non-drivers’ ID card??

I get irritable too, Ally!

Ally, OPTIMAL ROUTING OF PEOPLE!!!!

I’m taking the elevator, not doing my best impression of a data packet.

It has cut the wait-time in my building by minutes, especially during high-traffic times.

(Hah, now I remind myself of a young girl on an subway escalator ahead of me the other day, saying, “The escalator is to move ME, not for ME to move. I piss so many people off at work! They want to get by, but I say, ‘Take the stairs, motherfuckers.’” It made me hate her, basically. Efficiency ahoy.)

Oh god, I hate people like that! It’s not a RIDE!

Yeah, take the ferris wheel, motherfucker.

I always try to control-z in real life which just makes me feel mentally challanged.

Not a day goes by I don’t lament the lack of ctrl+F in meatspace situations (ex: can’t ctrl+F to find friend in dark, crowded movie theater, must resort to loud whisper and ruin the 300 trailer for everybody).

“Meatspace”?!

Its a an american restaurant.

and singles bar.

i talked to ethan on AIM last night and at a key moment in the discussion my desk tipped over and my CD player and printer slid off it onto my foot

nothing is broken by a miracle but i have a giant big cut over my little toe which i weirdly didn’t notice AT ALL till the middle of the night in bed when i suddenly wondered why my foot was hurting so much and WET??

Ew, you had weep foot in your meatspace.

I think I saw a jpg like that.

I have done the mental ctrl-Z tihng Sam mentioned, when I mess up my makeup. Too much Photoshop I guess.

I have also stomped around the house going “dammit why can’t I find my glasses!”. While I am wearing them. :|

i try to google my bedroom at least once a week: keys + shoes.

when i took the tube i used to get my work keys out to get through the turnstiles at the end and stand there stupidly with them in my hand wondering what to do, and try to get into my flat by waving my oystercard at it.

i was frantically looking for my passport last night and i kept trying to command+F or google it

Oh ya, the glasses thing here too. Sometimes they’re on top of my head.

“at a key moment in the discussion my desk tipped over...”

Oh poor you, Mark, but the mental image made me LOL.

threw toilet roll rather than used paper down loo and flushed it before I realised. Also dropped exciting pill in toilet and was scummy enough to retrieve it, yeah, just like in...it was pristine blue disinfected toilet water, luckily

when i took the tube i used to get my work keys out to get through the turnstiles at the end and stand there stupidly with them in my hand wondering what to do, and try to get into my flat by waving my oystercard at it.

I am so glad I don’t have an oystercard for this precise reason!

What I try to do is stick my ATM card into the turnstiles of the tube. Um, NO. I do not wish to buy this railway.

Also dropped exciting pill in toilet and was scummy enough to retrieve it

See also: mobile phone (had to retrieve it as was on the phone to exciting new romantic prospect at the time—let’s gloss over why I was chatting to her while having a pee) and Paul Simon tape (which still worked—as did the phone, admittedly only for about 10 minutes).

What I try to do is stick my ATM card into the turnstiles of the tube. Um, NO. I do not wish to buy this railway.

Haw, I’ve done this on the Glasgow Underground. What amazed me was that my card went right through the reader thing and popped out the top undamaged. And it still worked in cash machines too! I sort of assumed the mechanism inside the turnstile was all bendy for paper tickets to whizz through, but apparently not that bendy, or else bank cards are indestructible.

Also, yeah, picked glasses out of toilet (fortunately the reason I was leaning face first over the toilet in the first place hadn’t actually come to fruition at that point).

Actually, I’ve done loads of the things on this thread (toilet roll down loo, etc). I R moron.

When I am very tired, I am extremely easy to fool. One of my brother’s favourite memories of me is when we were on our way home from Edinburgh one night on the train, having been up all night long at a party. Our train was sitting next to another one on the tracks, and the other train started to move. “Oh look, we’re going,” said Stephen, and then laughed at me as I did a proper comedy double take at the other train.

Also, once when we were almost at our housing estate, Mister Monkey said “what are you doing driving in here? We moved, remember?” and for a split second I believed him.