Scotchguard

Almanacs

Motion-picture director Jon Turteltaub

Gardenias

Vodka tonics

Corduroy

Dude, just make a spreadsheet.

CORDUROY?? but it feels so sweet

Pike’s Peak

Alka-Seltzer

Jazz drummer Louis Bellson

meanies

The Partridge Family, TV show and related memorabilia

Australian immigrants

Cotton candy

Seersucker suits

Genocide

Patterned umbrellas

Double-penetration porn

The Fountainhead

15-watt lightbulbs

OPEC

Hobgoblins

The Nepalese flag

“Hobgoblins, YOU’RE ON NOTICE!!!”

almanacs, the nepalese flag and probably australian immigrants are grebt, FOOL

I’M JUST FOOLIN’, GUYS!!!

Split-level houses

Dunk tanks

Concubines

you shouldn’t joke about seersucker

Corn-cob holders

Leather binding (books)

Flight attendants

Ankles

let me help because i think ive got you sorted out:

prog rock

slavic princesses

green street signs

flared jeans

australian hating americans

the geiko gekko

joanna newsome

steeples

rivers

blue screens

Graphic designers

Newlyweds

Advocacy ribbons

The word “buddy”

OKAY I’M DONE

Dunk tanks

What about drunk tanks?

“It was Christmas Eve, babe...”

Corduroy

I CALL BULLSHIT BECAUSE I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN YOU WEAR BROWN CORDUROYS. And one time, shorts.

Can I add to jaymc’s hate list?

• matching socks

socks

You’re right, Jenny, I made a mistake. It’s lederhosen that I hate.

Corn-cob holders

This is lunacy.

Oh, I’m hungry. I’m gonna eat some corn on the cob. Doot doot duhdoooh, roll it in butter. Doot doot duhdooo, oh no, my hands are all buttery now. OOPS I DROPPED MY CORN. IN THE SHOWER.

*opens “jaymc file aka counteringelligence”

and here i thought jaymc was kind of a nice guy. NOW I FIND OUT HE’S A BALL OF HATE—HATIN’ ON DP PORN

Double-penetration porn

— jaymc (jmcunnin...), September 1st, 2006.

Corn-cob holders

— jaymc (jmcunnin...), September 1st, 2006.

lol

Quite the stream of consciousness.

I thought DP Porn —> The Fountainhead was pretty funny itself.

black people

brown people?

yup

even carlos guillen?

Gardenias

Man, that’s fucked up.

gardenias are way too obnoxious

i hate myself slighty more than the random dudes i lash out at on a regular basis. my love of tacos & karaoke is only topped by my love of porn. i am a pathetic fatty, help me....

UH