1. The little girl who says “it’s the mirrors.”
2. Everybody in a Dr. Pepper commercial.
3. all the artists covering “from me to you” in the current macy’s xmas ad campaign
4.) “What date is New Year’s Eve on? Text 39768 for ‘DEC 25’ or text 39769 for ‘DEC 31’. Good luck!” — Dumbest fucking thing I’ve seen on Australian television during this vacation.
oh my god that’s bleak.
5. rachel ray
prediction for ’07: very public and roffletastic ray-ray manic meltdown
haha pplains so otm
“i love chewing gum”
“What date is New Year’s Eve on? Text 39768 for ‘DEC 25’ or text 39769 for ‘DEC 31’. Good luck!”
Have you watched our fine range of post-midnight call-in game shows yet?
I haven’t, but Sunny tells me it involves a nation of callers spending twenty minutes trying to figure out who musician DAVID BYRN_ is.
I haven’t, but Sunny tells me it involves a nation of callers spending twenty minutes trying to figure out who musician DAVID BYRN_ is.
Yep, it’s something like that.
One time they were GIVING AWAY THE ANSWERS and a nation of callers still got it WRONG.
The little girl who says “it’s the mirrors.”
This little girl reminds me strongly of Giada deLaurentiis and she freaks me the fuck out.
that titlemax advert has taken two viewings to permanently write itself into my brain
I don’t mind the “it’s the mirrors” one with Tony Raines
An obvious choice, I know, but the Lexus holiday ones involving the big-ass red bows. The WSJ had a laughtastic article last week about how some people learn the hard way that — like puppies for kids —luxury cars are sometimes woefully ill-concieved gifts.
7. That Buffy villain in the Wendy’s commercial who likes being in the middle and pretending to eat a hamburger.
8. whoever is singing “perhaps fratalian” in those dunkin fuckin donuts commercials. that voice annoys the piss out of me.
pretty sure that’s tmbg
Isn’t that song by They Might Be Giants? (oop, xpost)
that makes PERFECT sense as i would like to run over tmbg with a truck, stop, back up, and run them over again.
i love how that commercial is supposed to be skewering Starbucks menu cuz it’s SO DIFFICULT TO FIGURE OUT
and then they tell you about dunkin’s lattes which of course aren’t italian AT ALL
God, I hate that commercial. 1) TMBG 2) Implying that everyone in America is completely mentally incapable (because cappucino is a hard word to say??) 3) Dunkin Donuts isn’t even very good anyway
oh man, the dunkin donuts “KARATEEEE” commercial is even worse than the one you mentioned above. i want to pour piping hot coffee over that bitches fucking face.
do they not know that you can walk into any starbucks and order a “tall coffee”? sooo hard to say. (xpost)
The easy TV quizzes are a way to just get around the prohibition on holding sweepstakes over the TV; this way they can say it’s a ‘competition’. I believe that OfCom is going to make this stratergy illegal in the UK but I never heard what came of their plans.
karateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1HifsHxKJA
i like the karate one. i’d totally do the mom.
and whenever i order coffee, no matter where i am, i always ask for “the biggest fucking coffee you can give me.”
Common—“Peace Love, the Gap.” Fuck YOU!
And Michael—have you seen the snl fake ad for Big Red Bows?
“Oooh! You got me a CAR! But it doesn’t have a big red bow, so I HATE it.”
Even if you go into a starbucks and order the most complicated thing you can, how on earth is it difficult to say “venti caramel frappucino with soy” or whatever ridiculous combination one can think of? I mean, none of the words are hard. If you really can’t handle the tall/grande/venti distinction then maybe you should just make your own coffee? Then you can make it whichever size you like, without having to speak at all.
I should add the Dunkin Donuts ones (especially “‘coffee’”) to my worst list, and I like TMBG.
what do you expect from a chain that can’t even spell “doughnuts” correctly?
or “dunking” for that matter!
1. The little girl who says “it’s the mirrors.”
So OTM it hurts. I’ve been meaning to start an “It’s AMAZing; it’s the MEERS” thread forever.
“has it been a while since YOU’VE been to the dentist?”
LOL @ the idea of a place called “Dunking Doughnuts” — do you know, I’ve never really thought of it very much, but if you do spell out the name, it goes from just “dumb” to “completely nuts and not in a good way.”
Also, yes, OTM re: MEERS. Learn how to pronounce mirrors! You are not so young or presidential that you should be mispronouncing words so badly!
there was an old shirley temple movie called dora’s dunking doughnuts!
http://www.publicdomaintorrents.com/nshowmovie.html?movieid=379
sounds like flapper-era porn to me.
uhh... everyone in the tomtom commercials. and the ad agency in charge of them.
“suesue, do we make a left or right at the light?”
HAW HAW!
“This is getting a foot massage while shoe shopping good!”
“For chocolate-covered heels!”
“Tee hee hee hee!”
Both of those simpering little idiots, under my truck. Right now.
Any and all commercials implying that the only bloody way to show one’s wife that she’s still tops is to pay out the nose for diamond necklaces or earrings or rings or whatever, even if it means you’re gonna spend the next year paying down the credit card debt.
Also: destroy all Chevy or Ford or whatever ads involving John Mellencamp’s “Our Country” and shots of people driving pick-up trucks or playing/watching high school football or holding sleeping babies or hunting or “This is our wingman” or “This is our truck” or “This is our coffee break” or insert BS iconic American mythical image here if you please, these things play during every commercial break when an NFL game is on and I’ve had enough
Oh god the TomTom commercials make me want to destroy my own tv.
amen.
“This is getting a foot massage while shoe shopping good!”
ugh. the shuddering horror. the white girl looks like she has an extra chromosome.
I’d be happy killing every person in every radio advert and PSA
:(
The fucking Jellin’ idiots in those goddamn Dr Scholl’s commercials.
Is that a New Year massacre I’m smellin’?
god, i hate they might be giants.
uhh...the guy in those radio ad’s for wawa’s.
“This is getting a foot massage while shoe shopping good!”
Whoever thought up this commercial should be drowned in a vat of heaving, pulsing yogurt.
Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin’ a bitch out, and givin’ a bitch a foot massage ain’t even the same fuckin’ thing.
Vincent: It’s not. It’s the same ballpark.
Jules: Ain’t no fuckin’ ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin’ his wife’s feet, and stickin’ your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain’t the same fuckin’ ballpark, it ain’t the same league, it ain’t even the same fuckin’ sport. Look, foot massages don’t mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: [scoffs] Don’t be tellin’ me about foot massages. I’m the foot fuckin’ master.
Vincent: Given a lot of ’em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don’t be ticklin’ or nothin’.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
[Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing he’s been set up]
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You give them a lot?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You know, I’m getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I’m gittin’ a little pissed here.
it took three weeks in another country to get ‘fa la la la french vanilla’ out of my head then it was the first ad i saw when i got home. fuck you, cool whip.
“This is getting a foot massage while shoe shopping good!”
“For chocolate-covered heels!”
“Tee hee hee hee!”
Both of those simpering little idiots, under my truck. Right now.
— Phoenix (is still) Dancing (krushsister@gmail.com) (webmail), Yesterday 10:17 AM. (krushsister) (later)
cosign
That dude in the Bowflex commercial who is a “director of quality” and plays bass in a “rock band” and has really ambitious facial hair.
the mucinex snot thing.
His name is Michael D. Polinko and he works for Neuman Aluminum USA and I am going to go there and firebomb their office if he doesn’t shut up about how having a midlife crisis is “living the dream.”
“the white girl looks like she has an extra chromosome.”
Those commercials are super, extra annoying... but that girl, Leisha Hailey is actually pretty good on The L Word. Or you might remember her from her band The Murmurs. I actually thought she was kind of cute in a completely nerdy way before those commercials.
that new vonage spot with the girl on the beach
No, I like the Vonage commercials! Besides, no truck needed, she’s about to party with the dolphins.
I liked the Vonage ads a lot better when they were YouTube footage of real actual morons and not staged situations that would never, ever occur in real life starring obnoxious actors
I love the one with the nerd and the walking blowjob because it’s impossible not to come up with terrifying images when she says “I didn’t KNOW you don’t like that, please don’t leave.” As in “I didn’t KNOW you don’t like my thumb up your ass when I’m giving you head, SORRY, I won’t DO THAT anymore, waaaah”
That one is kind of funny, it’s the one with the car robbers and the one with Melissa Rivers + fakies that drives me insane.
the vonage commercials don’t merely celebrate (stereotypical) stupidity, they do it in a way that is filled with self-regard for their celebration.
plus the cynicism of 18–24 demo = jackass theme
Let’s Go Outback Tonight.
That commercial (Of Montreal song, right?) makes me want to stab.
Also, the Visa commercial with the dude who pays with cash and stops the ridiculous musical routine. FOR SHAME, SILLY MAN! YOU ARE NOT HIP WITH TEH TECHNOLOGY.
Oh that annoys me so much, I mean the fact of the matter is that paying with a credit card at a Starbucks or a quick lunch joint always seems to hold up matters—you’ve got the people who ask to see ID from time to time, and you’ve got to wait for it to go through and then sign off on the receipt (ie most of these people do not have DEBIT machines, they run it as a bloody credit card instead of paying extra to let you debit). It’s such a horseshit commercial, stop wishing the future is actually here and be honest. Or at least show a reasonable situation where credit card is better than cash, like at a large store or something.
I would like that commercial to be a two-parter, followed by how he escapes identity theft through the magic of song.
Or maybe a even a three-parter, with the guy behind him in line, doing an interpretative dance about his time spent in credit counseling.
I just always wonder, who pitches these ideas and WHO are the idiots who go in on them?
oh, the bummerz thread on noize board reminded me of another hateful ad where they have completely made up a situation to pretend their product is good: Southwest’s ads! The ones where they pretend that on other airlines you have to pay for the onboard magazine and then make a BIG POINT of saying that other airlines sometimes charge $5 for an in-flight meal (the obvious counter point being AT LEAST OTHER AIRLINES OFFER THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET FOOD ON THE FLIGHT??) or that if you call the stewardess, you will get charged $1. What in the world.
I feel like saying to them, you actually don’t cost that much less than other airlines. In fact, you don’t cost less than JetBlue (which offers food and tv!), and at least the other airlines don’t make it an open fact on their website that ticket prices are some kind of a-la-Amazon-attempting-to-sell-game-consoles lottery wherein you can be charged anywhere between $59 to $400 for the exact same flight as someone else, not even be guaranteed a good seat, on the basis of what time of day you come after the tickets are released every month.
I really, really hate Southwest btw so my opinion might be colored by this but whoever is the person who thought up this ad should probably be punched, and the person who okayed it without thinking through the fact that, for example, Southwest usually does not offer movies, food, etc AT ALL kind of makes these things sore points to harp on.
Also: Southwest, you advertise more than any other airline, plz stop doing so and just put money into not having to have your weird expensive tickets for the same flights as cheap tickets system.
Maybe this warrants its own thread, but how many commercials have Of Montreal songs associated with them?
There’s that godforsaken Outback commercial and I saw a NASDAQ commercial (who knew they even needed commercials?) with one of their songs as well. I don’t really like Of Montreal, so I have no problems in calling them shills for the advertising machine.
Southwest sucks, as do their ads. And you’re totally right: they’re not that much cheaper. Actually, they’re not the cheapest AT ALL.
Hahaha yeah I have been wondering why NASDAQ seems to feel it needs to advertise its existance.
That dude in the Bowflex commercial who is a “director of quality” and plays bass in a “rock band” and has really ambitious facial hair.
oh AMEN. fucking AGE, already.
ROCK THE CASHBOX!
ROCK THE CASHBOX!
STOP THE CATBOX
i was really hoping i was gonna click on this thread and find out i watch so little tv that i didn’t know any of these ads :-(
Oh shit, how could I forget, the family in the Capital One commercial who fly by cropduster and have to go to cannibal island because their frequent flyer miles are expired or whatever. He needs to get run over for obvious reasons, and the family needs to get run over for not strangling Dad in his sleep years ago.
It’s like my life flashing before my eyes, and it goes on and on.....
OH I LOVE BAMZU FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
There was a Pepsi ad recently where a lady is walking down the street and all the construction workers and traffic and etc. have their audio replaced and instead they’re making some shitty swingin’ jazz be bop a doo BEE BEE bee FUCK THAT COMMERCIAL.
Oh god those fuckers who cannot sing “Rock the Casbah,” OTM. I mean, it’s the NAME of the SONG FFS.
Dude who pulls the log truck out of the tunnel entrance with his DODGE RAM PICKUP so that an ambulance can get through, thusly saving Lil’ Joey’s life or something.
THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN IF YOU BUY A DODGE RAM PICKUP, YOU GULLIBLE FUCKERS DRIVING DOWN MY INTERSTATE.
haha, yeah, I’d like to slow that one down enough to read the fine print at the bottom. “Fictional professional driver on nonexistant closed course. Do not attempt, or do, wahtever, it don’t mean shit to us.”
everyone in the video.aol.com commercial (not the al bundy one).
We have this horrible american ad here (dubbed in Aus accents wtf is the point) with hideous orange Florida retirees sunbaking saying “have you got it ON?” “Yes, I’ve got it ON” “But have you GOT IT ONNNNN” etc etc ad nauseum—for some fucking mosquito repellant.
AAAARGH DIE PENSIONERS.
Aw, it’s such an affirmation to know that there are so many other people who have a hate-on for that Yoplait commercial. I really dislike that whole advertising campaign and I’m actually a huge fan of Yoplait’s yogurt. But every time I see one of those I feel guilty for craving their light blackberry or key lime pie flavored yogurts.
How about those “talk to your kids about not smoking” commercials, huh? Talk about maintaining with long-standing, oft-disproven stereotypes. So mothers and daughters can only have meaningful discussions while shopping or doing clothing alterations and fathers and sons can only discuss things properly while making repairs around the house or playing basketball? Mmmm hmmm.
Oh, and all you so-called “hip” soon-to-be boomer retirees that that financial services agency is targeting with those commercials featuring “Gimmie Some Lovin’”? I can taste the desperation of your fast-fading relevance in this society, suckers. And remind me not to laugh too hard as I see you hobbling into the bingo hall because you broke far too many of your now-fragile bones trying to pretend you’re still 25 and now even walking is painful for you.
I think the new Head-On commercials are more annoying than the original commercial. At least the original was funny.
I don’t know, I kinda liked that one guy who said something like, “Hey Head-On, your commercials are annoying but your product is AMAZING.”
I just remembered the person I would like most to run over with a truck: ZORA. You know, the chick with the skewed body self-image from those Nutri-System commercials who began a diet with a healthy physique and ended up looking like a walking skeleton? The last thing she needed was a diet. She needs something else, like maybe elocution lessons or some cultural education so she doesn’t sound like an overgrown preteen.
I don’t think having a bunch of slobs selling Hardee’s is exactly going to work. It is probably a bit more honest than wheeling around Saint Tropez or going out on the powerboat with Jay Z to pop open a couple of cold Bud Selects with some fine fashion models.
zora was the winner of the first joe millionaire!!
She needs something else, like maybe elocution lessons
1st thing in the morning, before coffee, I read this as “electrocution lessons”
it’s a web ad not a commercial but i need to point out the crudely photoshopped boobs and head currently appearing on the chicago reader’s website:
http://mi.adinterax.com/customer/centro/43/SONYPICTURES002_728x90.jpg
I didn’t like that lady “dancing” in the passenger seat of a car a few years back. Maybe it was a Mazda commercial? I’d kill her corpse!
ALL THE PEOPLE WHO TALK TO THEIR CAR, PUNCH IT, THEN APOLOGIZE TO IT AND OFFER TO TAKE IT OUT FOR DINNER. WHAT THE FUCK.
is it redundant to wish for all of the chatty dudes in the volkswagen commercials to be run over with a truck?
DEATH TO the Optimum Triple Play labcaot dudes
5 hundred doll ors.
We were watching the World Series of Poker tonight, and they kept showing an insurance commercial that featured “testimonials” from supposed customers. However, when one old fat bald man opened his mouth and Casey Kasem’s voice came out, we knew that were seeing a dramatization.
It was like one of those Mastercard stolen identity ads!
zora was the winner of the first joe millionaire!!
And what a fine claim to fame THAT is.
1st thing in the morning, before coffee, I read this as “electrocution lessons”
Solution: Drink more coffee. But no thanks, no electrocution for her. There are no advertising figures (presently) out there I dislike THAT much. Though those dumb yuppies on that Sirius satellite radio commercial who pull up to the drive-thru and don’t even bother to pull away from their little toy long enough to place an order could use a few zaps here and there.
You know, I think I might actually dislike THEM more than I dislike Zora. I mean, at least I can pity Zora.
snorg girl original