He’s done this before, with a more select ‘female’ criteria, hasn’t he?

Next year, I reckon he’ll be adding a select criteria of blokes.

maybe he’ll get strangled and dumped in a river.

true fuckin edginess.

even black chicks

“...even black chicks”.

He’s done this before, with a more select ‘female’ criteria, hasn’t he?

the vincent gallo sperm for sale text is at the bottom of that page, if you care to scroll down.

Ahoy mateys!

he looks like Alex Zane’s dad

also ffs what is dude’s major malfunction?

he’s really jacked up the price of IVF, its nowhere near $50,000. More along the lines of $10,000-$15000. Trust me, im going through it now.

the whole page is kind of tragic.

at least it’s not in Comic Sans

Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors?

Yes. But YOU???

Maybe he’s been doing a Tony Clifton thing for 15 years?

Maybe. This can’t not be a joke. If it’s a joke, kudos, kinda funny. If it’s real it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

he’s such an idiot. not a bad character actor a LONG time ago, but since ‘buffalo 66’ a choad of the first water.

xpost

Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me.

ok this is pretty funny.

that’s what you think.

I love how that photo looks like an American Apparel ad.

that’s what you think.

It is! Come on. Dude has a sense of humor about how creepy he is.

Vincent Gallo offers self for sexual hire

fixed

hahaha

Vincent Gallo offers elf for sexual hire

That would also be acceptable, or at least more acceptable.

(xpost:... nope, still more acceptable)

I fell in love with Vincent Gaaaaaallo
he was playin a part that I could understand

a maaaaaaa aaaaaaa aaaaaaa aaan
a man cannot have even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become his client :(

hahahahahahahahaha ohno

The sperm one is funnier than the escort one:

If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself.

...

Mr. Gallo is 5’11“ and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it’s a boy. (8 inches if he’s like his father.) I don’t know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can’t hurt.

...

Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.

It’s amazing how much of a cunt this fucker is.

Ya, I mean Lena Horne???

Dude he’s been saying this kind of shit for years.

He’s worse than Rob Liefeld!

i was reading his site just the other day and saw this bullshit. i like how among all the racist bullshit he also has this weird anti-redhead thing. guess that’s where the “creative” part comes in.

Dude he’s been saying this kind of shit for years

I know. This doesn’t mean it still isn’t amazing how much a cunt this fucer is.

x-post

Vincent Gallo seems like the type who googles his own name and browses threads like this one in his free time. Not sure if that presents a case for or against starting them

For! For!

Okay actually now I think Mr Gallo is taking the piss. He can’t help it that it’s just not all that funny.

what a fucer

Or at least...

I think hope Mr Gallo is taking the piss.

why buy his sperm when you can get his piss for free and then CLONE HIM! FLOOD THE MARKET WITH CHEAP V.GALLO 2.0’s, ha ha ha.

How do you think Vice got started?

i know at least half a dozen girls who were nuts over him at one point.

Pardon me for asking, but in real life, what kind of person *is* a troll?

I worked with a girl who was obsessed with him. She went to NYU for psychology and is doing a lot of nothing with her life. Also, still believe in the myths of NYC

i seem to remember laughing at a giant Gallo “signature” with handprints in a wet concrete sidewalk repair adjacent to Cafe Habana. i thought it authentic at first due to his owning an apartment nearby but friends figured it for a prank of someone else.

i’m a model but i’m ugly enough to be a man. its hard to describe his look/why women like him but i sorta understand it.

“however, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000.” why mention the price if they don’t get a discount? so his shtick is he’s cocky beyond all reason?

That picture of Vincent Gallo upthread looks really alarmingly like Tom’s ex-roomate, who is better known to some ILXors as the WoW underwear thief. WTF.

“i’m a model but i’m ugly enough to be a man.”

pix please?

haha yaaaaaay

better known to some ILXors as the WoW underwear thief. WTF.

wot?

ask jaymc

no u

i’ve told the story 7 times already on old ilx, i don’t want to be a boring repeat ;_;

i’m just disturbed by the realization, because that dude would’ve had to have paid me $100,000 to have sex with him, yet vg seems to think ladies want to pay HIM. wacky world.

LINK TO GOOGLE CASH?

PS ALLY U R V V PRETTY AND I WOULD PAY $100,000 TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU

LINDEN DOLLARS THO.

That’s still like $400.

l-r: Tom’s ex-roommate, Tom

yeah basically except both drunk all the time.

Yeah, I’ll take Linden dollars, paypal to allyzay @ gmail.com. Thx!!

do you have a fursuit? y/n

I bet half that stuff didn’t even sell, he just put SOLD on it

Ah lovely thread.

uh i have a silver bodysuit, if that helps.

Is the pic above the idea of his Mt. Rushmore?

Or can you samples of former U.S. Republican (and the current one I guess) in the deal as well?

Oh, and I got told I looked like him the other day. :(

I shaved then.

the similarities between VG and m@rissa m@rchant are striking.

Aw man, I was hoping this was revived by a VG self-google.

That’s always the hope, innit?

I hear in those instances his retort of choice is calling people “needledick”

To which I say “well don’t try sticking my dick in your arm then”

However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose

damn