1) IN A WORLD PLAGUED BY FEAR...
2) Speed-cut action scened with “Carmina Burana” on the background.
scenes
3) THIS SUMMER, ACTION HAS A NEW NAME...
4) Scenes fade to black to the rhythm of a heavy drum to emphasize their seriousness.
scenes that aren’t in the movie.
5) JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO...
6) HE WAS A COP ON THE EDGE...
7) Soothing melody. Needle scratches across record. George Thorogood & The Destroyers.
LOCK THREAD
RELATED:
‘Bad To The Bone’ To Be Used In Film
April 22, 1998 | Issue 33•15
HOLLYWOOD, CA—In an inspired act of film soundtracking, Paramount Pictures announced Tuesday that its forthcoming family comedy Twerps will feature the rock song “Bad To The Bone” by George Thorogood. “We feel the song will greatly enhance the scene in which the 12-year-old protagonist and his two pals go on a shopping spree and dress up as tough kids,” said Paramount executive Edward Wohl. “As the children outfit themselves in leather, denim and sunglasses, the song’s bluesy riffs and ‘don’t-mess-with-me’ lyrics will provide the perfect musical accompaniment to the kids’ get-tough makeover.” Paramount also intends to use James Brown’s “I Feel Good” for the film’s closing-credits sequence, moments after the lead character defeats the neighborhood bully in a climactic roller-hockey match.
8) SHE IS A VOLUPTUOUS CYBORG COP. HE IS A HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR WITH A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT. TOGETHER THEY ARE... IMPERFECT PARTNERS.
9) Serious, ominous beginning ... OH NOES, IT’S A COMEDY—YOU JUST GOT PUNK’D!
10) I’M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS SH-
rofl hurting otm
11) super fast montage: STARING/RUNNING/HUGGING/CRYING/ARMS OUTSTRETCHED IN RAIN/EXPLOSIONS/KISSING/LAUGHING/DRINKING COFFEE/WWII/BLACK SCREEN...
TITLE
12) TITLE & OSTENSIBLE END OF TRAILER—SCENE OF DUDE GETS HIT IN NUTS—COMING JULY 2007
Scene of Autobot hit in nuts.
I would almost rather see Transformers-as-slapstick than Transformers-as-directed-by-Michael-Bay.
13) anachronistic music that may not even be in film (Blur during ’80s-set History Boys)
14) genre thriller/actioner setup reveals ‘comedy’ after 20 seconds (Reno 911! I’m lookin at you)
15) FROM THE DIRECTOR OF...
and its bizarro equivalent
16) FROM THE PRODUCER OF...
’cause yeah it’s really important to me who signs the cheques for a film.
Er, I think the producers used to have, and some of them still have, much more power over the film than signing the cheques.
they use ‘producer’ merely to get name of hit film in yr head
17. FROM THE STUDIO THAT BROUGHT YOU SHREK
18. (American Trailers For Foreign Films): No dialogue whatsoever. Just shots w/music.
See the recent South Park ep where Stan coaches a peewee hockey team for every single one of these, including the record scratch.
19.“Two Thumbs Up!”
11) super fast montage: STARING/RUNNING/HUGGING/CRYING/ARMS OUTSTRETCHED IN RAIN/EXPLOSIONS/KISSING/LAUGHING/DRINKING COFFEE/WWII/BLACK SCREEN...
TITLE
hahaha
20. “ONCE IN EVERY MAN’S LIFE...”
21. “Inspired by a True Story”
22. action montages w/ Kodo drumming
23. black screen + panic breathing -> split second gore images + glitched-up screams
24. This is gonna be the best trip ever! -> whoa, guys did you hear that? what is that thing? -> OH MY GOD RUN! -> cue slashing, glinting/blood-stained knife/chainsaw and screaming.
25. (horror movie trailers): period of relative calm/darkness on screen/reduced movement...annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndOMGSUDDENSTARTLINGSLASHINGNOISEWITHMILDLYDISTURBINGSPLITSECONDVISUALWHATWASTHATJESUS
26. revealing THE ENTIRE FUCKING MOVIE thus saving me $$$$
27. In a world full of douchebags, one website has them all, posting on a pointless board. . .
28. in romantic comedies: ‘is that all i mean to you?!!? a BET!?!!’
29. helicopter turns into monster, blows up american fighting men to death with forcefield/shockwave
30. Elephants run at camera through orange savanna grass while orchestral arrangement of led zeppelin gets LOUDER and LOUDER, then a picture of a chalk body outline on a rainy street
31. Spaceships docking on the Rings of Saturn to pick up an intergalactic pizza at Grimaldi’s.
31. will smith quotes sartre while mugging a fat kid
33. peyton manning wears a fake moustache
34. My acquaintances passed a brown bottle from hand to hand.
35. “Better than a kick in the crotch.”
36. Datrha Vade and C-3PO yiffing while Han Solo watches
37. Troller on message board decides he’s had enough, will never be part of a community, feel rejected, wetc., mows down an entire cafeteria full of people with a sawed off.
37. boom microphone hits hugh jackman in face, handheld camerawork spins us around awkwardly to reveal that the boom is being operated by none other than jack black, who laughs maniacally, then rips off his rubber mask and it turns out he is actually hugh grant pretending to be jack black
39. girls learn about sports
40. Helen Hunt bukakke
41. Wayans brothers explain in the form of a rap song what happened to the caretaker of the hotel and his family the previous winter
42. Charlton Heston shooting himself in the face
43. Fozzie Bear bukakke
I demand someone create this putative trailer.
44. bourbon cat
45. Roadhouse blues band playing “Sweet Home Chicago” in a dive bar attacked by hedgehogs with light sabres.
46. clips of football great Gino Marchetti instigating climactic Sister vs. Goo debate that goes terribly, terribly awry.
47. Dead hookers
48. The Mummy accepts Jesus Christ as his personal savior
49. Dom Passantino
50. Sensitive girl becomes werewolf
51. American president falls in love with oddball crack whore
52. Language is a virus from outer space
53. David Niven crucifies a toddler
52. Language is a virus from outer space
Who *would* star in Snow Crash anyway?
BOOM!
Who *would* star in Snow Crash anyway?
Tiger Woods?
UH
(I mean, yes, I know why you suggest that, but still, UH.)
53. Ned Raggett reads the almanac
40. Helen Hunt bukakke
— Mr. Que (pelagi...), December 21st, 2006
In the trailer for my dreams, maybe!
41. syphylitically mad roman emperor forced to choose between own sister, tough inner-city schoolroom full of urban children who might just deserve one last chance.
Er, I think the producers used to have, and some of them still have, much more power over the film than signing the cheques.
— Tuomas (lixnix...), December 21st, 2006 5:26 PM. (Tuomas)
they use ‘producer’ merely to get name of hit film in yr head
— Dr M (wjwe...), December 21st, 2006 5:29 PM. (Dr Morbius)
you’re thinking of “Executive Producer.”
54. Garfield’s penis shot in night-vision
55. Abraham Lincoln’s brain in Gabrielle Union’s body runs in a school-board election against a 12-year-old savant stricken with an alien cancer.
56.
57. “trolls” bored with their cat-obsessed city thread decide to derail perfectly fine, if unoriginal, movie thread.
also, why does marmaduke dude have breasts?
I hate people who can’t even follow trailers.