You’d have thought there’d have been quite a market for bespoke furniture made by the Son of God.
OOP Christ’s own woodwork! Exclusive L@@K NOW
crosses?
Nativity scenes?
“It’s the carving the baby me that’s the tricky part! Christ!”
Well, uh, melodic pop songs.
Until his sister died of the anorexia, of course.
‘e parted the red sea with a dove tail joint!
yea crosses.
You can’t go parting seas without making a few waves. I’m thinking there might have been scope for a surfboard range.
Did he know about the cross thing before it happened?
Spinning tops, wardrobes, abstract stuff.
I’m thinking there might have been scope for a surfboard range.
Aaah, so *that* explains the walking-on-water trick!
A scroll was found recently in southern Lebanon with assembly instruction pictograms.
The plaque did not say INRI, it has recently been discovered:
This was a Dave Foley sketch on TKITH
HAHAHA xpost
kitchen islands.
sexbench.jpg
Be glad of this: I just don’t have the balls to GIS “wooden dildo” at work.
Not to mention “wooden butt plug”.
last temptation of christ movie has jesus making a cross and practicing on it before the whole judas deal
last temptation of christ movie has jesus making a cross and practicing on it before the whole judas deal
— a.b. (aaaaaathatsfivea...), December 21st, 2006. (later)
yeah that’s kind of the whole point of the movie, that he was a collaberator with the romans until judas turned him into a revolutionary.
Wooden Dreidels
J-the-‘penter would, I firmly believe, easily master a cunt out of peeled birch bark.
Oh c’mon you all know he can do that!
The thing that made me realize I truly hated The Passion was the scene where Jesus is building—get this, you guys—a table with TALL LEGS that you have to sit at in this contraption called A CHAIR and Mary just shakes her head and says, “Oh Jesus, that will never catch on!”
THAT JESUS, SO AHEAD OF THE TIMES.
last temptation of christ movie has jesus making a cross and practicing on it before the whole judas deal
Yeah, but hammering in the last nail is impossible!
“Oh Jesus, that will never catch on!”
oh, jesuspaws
wow, i didn’t know mel gibson could make a movie with race-baiting AND stupid winky jokes
he is pretty talented.
I swear to god (heh) that is the actual line. xxpost.
yeah, that movie is pretty rawfle
especially the zombie-terminator-style ending
all that slow motion and scenes of people watcing solemnly while JC gets his ass whupped.
WAIT.... IS THAT TRU???????
yes, jesus really did invent the chair as we know it today!
though seriously, if he had invented those chairs with built in massage thingamajigs i would’ve never stopped going to church
hey, he invented church! who would’ve guessed that would catch on?
Not to put a damper on awesome jokes, but historically, on those times ‘carpenter’ mean someone who worked with stone or that mud/stucco material they made houses out of.
Not that I’m a christian, but I’ve read a good portion of the manual.
i had an australian friend visiting around the time The Passion came out. he was in nyc for a week and then off to europe for a while, for some reason he went to see The Passion when it was in limited release either due to his chance to be one of the first people to see it or because of some sort of nationalistic ingrained love of Mel Gibson. we took him out to luna lounge and i idly asked him what the movie was like, instead of finding out whether it was subtly anti-semitic or how the Aramaic played on the big screen, he basically began to recount for us the plot of the new testament. i guess he had never been to church, we were almost in tears stifling laughter as he sincerely mentioned that the movie had a “twist” ending.
That may be the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard.
What did Jesus make? The answer is “no crying” obviously.
Not to put a damper on awesome jokes, but historically, on those times ‘carpenter’ mean someone who worked with stone or that mud/stucco material they made houses out of.
YOU TELL THAT TO MEL GIBSON, HEATHEN UNBELIEVER.
Jesus made brick ovens for pizzas
bongs, mainly.
Mel Gibson=Cocaine.
I’m not saying he does cocaine.
I’m saying he IS cocaine.
i don’t know what that means.