Without having seen the trailer, only the picture on that link, I can predict:

—exactly what will happen in this film

—exactly what all reviews will say

—exactly what every single person who enjoys this film will be like.

This probably makes me a bad person, but I know I’m right.

Plot Summary for

Epic Movie (2007)

The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie” tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in “Epic Movie.” The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican “libre” wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a “normal” resident of a mutant “X”-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a “G”). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry—and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.

HAR HAR

WAHT, NO HOBBITS?

Is dude to the left of Superman supposed to be Magneto, then? And the gal to the left of Captain Jack is in some way plane-snake-related? The guy behind Paris looks very familiar, but not enough for a name.

It is, I imagine, pointless to ask what the girls in bikinis are doing on the poster.

The gal to the left of Cap’n Jack looks like Jennifer Aniston, who is her own genre.

guy behind Paris:

http://imdb.com/title/tt0799949/

Kumar’s in this.

I know I already posted it once, but...

The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie”

This may be better than every single movie it satirizes.

okay it’s lame, but ‘faun john’ makes me laugh.

Crispin Glover’s in this (okay, as Willy Wonka, which is actually a cool idea).

!!

sounds totally horrible but I feel obligated to see just about anything Crispin’s in (and he totally woulda been a better WW than fuckin JD)

That’s a hard road to walk down, man.

Also it’s great to see Cobrastyle has finally become the “wacky hijinks” music of choice.

the weird thing about these movies is that they aren’t in any way funny if you haven’t seen the specific subject being parodied (and the parodies rarely go beyond something kinda gross happening). whereas earlier Zucker/Abrams stuff would take on entire genres (and still have lots of clever, standalone gags) these have this weird kind of airtight, insular feel, like their just slightly shittier versions of their source material with random cameos.

(and yeah wtf, no hobbits?!!?)

Maybe that’s what the other 4 writers of Scary Movie have been working on

sounds totally horrible but I feel obligated to see just about anything Crispin’s in (and he totally woulda been a better WW than fuckin JD)

Did you enjoy his role in Lil Bow Wow’s film Like Mike?

didn’t know about it! I did enjoy his dance moves in Friday the 13th, Part IV.

Wonka should have been played by Walken. It’s a fact.

The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie”

— has been plagued with problems since its erection in 1978

I read it as one sentence ...

Man, is LIKE MIKE worth a view? I remember really, really wanting to see it at the time–even trying to beg friends to come see it in the theatre with me, or at least sneak into it after a more money-worthy feature. I don’t recall now why I was so excited.

I am looking forward to “Good Movie.”

Based on the pic on the website, I’m guessing the writers walked past a costume shop having a post-Halloween sale and asked themselves “How can we make this into a movie?”

Like Mike was good!

I am looking forward to “Good Movie.”

lol!

Or put another way:

TS: “Rocky Balboa” vs “The Pursuit of Happyness” vs. “Autocatheterization With a Length of Rusty Barbed Wire”