Roger Friedman has some things to say:
Indeed, “Apocalypto” is the most violent movie Disney has ever released, with so much blood spurting out of orifices that even Martin Scorsese would blush.
If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to see heads and hearts removed without anesthesia, then this is the movie for you.
...
“Apocalypto” really is a video game, a sort of “Survivor” set in what would become the Mayan ruins as we know them today.
The action is often cartoonish, and the dialogue — which is all spoken in some ancient dialect with subtitles — is often preposterous.
In one scene, after what seems like the umpteenth bloody killing, one Mayan quips to another and the translation is, “He’s f—-ed.”
...
Semler’s production is so shiny and perfect that his Mayans sometimes seem like they’re in a Coca-Cola commercial. Instead of the dusty world of “Dances with Wolves,” we get the high sheen of Kodak prints.
Sometimes, the result of this is a vivid portrait of death. For example, a jaguar eats a man’s head, and masticates. Half-dressed Mayans are shot through the head, heart and chest with arrows and knifed sometimes without notice and almost always in the most gruesome ways possible. Heads roll and bounce, for real, down the long stairs of the Kukulcan Pyramid, or what we now regard the centerpiece of the Mayan ruins.
Blood doom death...APOCALYPTO!
MELTON MOWBRAY TO THREAD
I thought this was the Marcello thread where IT HAPPENED!!!
like i said on noize, it’s basically braveheart meets home alone in the south american jungle.
it was kinda fun!
Brilliant. :-)
although i probably won’t see it until tv stumbling upon on some night i am really enjoying the title—so much so that i just went looking for an official tshirt (to no avail).
APOCALYPTO!
every time I see this trailer I assume that it is the Anthony Kiedis biopic
it’s a pretty fun word!
xpost
slocki’s description is freakin gold
i do still kinda want to see it
Edward James Olmos liked it, but I’ll wait for the Onion review.
sixty year old native hawaiian dude i work with after a conversation regarding Nostradamus VS. Mayans when it comes to predicting the end of the world (paraphrased):
“You see dat Mel Gibson Apocalypto movie coming out? They say the mayans were the smartest and most advanced people evah? Yeah, they so smart, why they run around naked with things stuck in thier noses? Have some more tequila Mel!”
hahaha. did he say it with a crusty jewish accent?
no, a crusty hawaiian/pidgin accent.
there should be an admendement to the constitution requiring everyone to speak in crusty accents of various sorts
WTF HOORAY Mel Gibson, your movies are so freaking violent.
IM ALL UP IN UR JUNGLE BEHEADIN UR MAYANS
i think a film about hawaiian people circa 1600 would be pretty similar- minus the pyramids and jaguars of course. there would be more surfing too.
old hat
You rang?
this actually wasn’t that bad. severely runs out of steam in the last act, though.
also, TAPIR BALLZ
Hey Meltang you never added me to xbox ;_;
Eeep, I didn’t? I added a trakky from Australia, with a panda bear for a logo, who plays a lot of Oblivion. Surely there aren’t two?
Anybody see the SNL ad for Apocalypto, where they replaced the subtitles with things like “Run, it’s the Jews!”