Yesterday’s Post visibly raised the spirits of morning commuters, with a picture of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears headlined BIMBO SUMMIT. (Both papers seem to hit their most memorable strides when insulting women — cf that HILL SLAP / BITCH SLAP I posted about a while back.)
Today, for a story about Danny Devito showing up somewhere drunk, neither the Post nor the Daily News can come up with anything more interesting than the fairly lame DANNY DE-VINO. Worse still, this is a totally lame story. Danny Devito has spent decades exclusively playing nasty little men and still being totally lovable. The guy’s seemed genuinely madly in love with Rhea Pearlman. Is there anyone in New York who seriously begrudges him a bender or two? Story-wise, “Danny Devito gets drunk in public” is about on par with “Jerry Seinfeld eats cereal alone.”
This is the ongoing sandbox thread for tabloid cover and headline discussions.
“Wax Museum Fire Results in Hundres of New Danny Devito Statues”
increadingly = incredibly + increasingly
?
Paris Hilton looks weirdly like Glenn Close there.
coming up with potential post/dn headlines is a popular pasttime amongst people i know. even if you don’t read the tabloids, you see the covers so many times during the day that the phenomenon seeps into your psyche (cf. bright lights, big city) and you start to think of things in terms of how they could be phrased for a story.
in my opinion bimbo summit is one of the most inspired ones ever.
there i said it.
It really is! At first it seems like a straightforward insult, but then there’s a whole extra layer of funny coming from the fact that it’s, you know, the word “SUMMIT” in a newspaper headline, right where it’s supposed to be. It’s like the Post equivalent of deadpan — pretending to be journalists!
Plus then obviously you spend the rest of the day imagining the whole thing being like Yalta, where they hash out important accords on who gets to suck off whom in which bathroom stall.
That picture makes it seem like Britney’s looking at Paris in total admiration — it’s like an old-money / new-money postcard!
exactly. i like the greater context of it pushing the bachelor party shooting below the fold too—i’m imagining them (this requires a team, no? with, like, a huge version of the cover laid out in pieces on a table in the middle of the newsroom) looking at another headline of cop killing, just getting too depressed and sticking bimbo summit in there at the last moment, to joyous applause from the entire post staff.
(I can’t believe that the “after” pictures from this night aren’t being discussed.)
i had somehow missed those, jeez.
her left leg looks like its been hastily taped on
i was in such a rush taping my left leg on and all that i forgot the underwear!
vagog!
LL looks like neil young in that photo
bimbo summit: neil young, glenn close and some pantless chick drive around or something!
how do you pronounce “vagog”?
that britney vag is photoshopped, right? i mean come on.
LL looks like she is tripping BALLS.
tmz.com:
Britney Spears’ no-panties stunt is a disgusting abuse of power.
WAHT
from some hollywood gossip blog:
NBSCO OTM re: Danny Devito. That man is a good man.
panty hamster?
nice c-section scar
Today’s Post: TAKEN FOR A RIDE (about taxi rate hike) next to big-ass picture of Lohan (Page 6 related), creating distant visual impression that ... “Lindsay Lohan got taken for a ride? I’d like to take her for a ride, if you get my meaning. I better walk over to the newsstand and see what this is all about.”
Today’s Daily News: Goes for public outrage over police crackdown on ... friends of the guy they just shot? Good choice, and terrific overegged tabloid-slang subhead: “Hunt for mystery witness in groom slaying rachets up the tension in Queens nabe.” (They decline to use “slay” as a noun! Plus “nabe!”) Up top, it’s POPE PRAYS IN MOSQUE — MOMENT OF HISTORY. “Moment of History???”
I was just arguing with a friend the other night about whether “nabe” was legitimate slang, after she spotted it in a Chicago Journal headline.
Ok so today’s Post circles around to totally blow my mind: the subhead for a story about Yoko Ono’s weird chauffeur thing reads —
Chauffeur’s ‘slay threat’
— which, okay, what’s with the quotes? It’s obviously not a direct quote cause NOBODY ON EARTH says “slay threat” except for Post peeps! So are those supposed to be scare quotes? But like why would the Post suddenly develop some weird-ass propriety about “alleged” versus “actual” or whatever? Curious.
any sense of “propiety” at the NY Post is legally motivated
I read the Post infrequently — mostly when it’s given away on the street as a promo. but I’ve noticed that EVERY issue I do see contains at least 1 headline usually 2 or 3 w/the word PERV.
like SUFFOLK DA PROBES SCHOOL PERVS
Story-wise, “Danny Devito gets drunk in public” is about on par with “Jerry Seinfeld eats cereal alone.”
This is still good.