KEEP YOUR SPELLCHECKING LAWS OUT OF MY ALL CAPS WOMB, NAZI
XPOST
I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW FB HAD A LINE!
— Sara Robinson-Coolidge (sr...), February 14th, 2007.
Yes, but no light escapes from the other side of my line. Sometimes, unwholesome things crawl across that line, only to die and sublimate in the light.
Sometimes? Only sometimes?
Sometimes...they survive:
WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO FALSELY SLANDER SOMEONE, FB, YOU DO IT IN ALL CAPS.
FOR EXAMPLE “FB LIKES TO SNORT COKE OFF OF DEAD HOOKERS”
VS.
“fb likes to snort heroin off of dead hookers”
The unwholesome things crawl both ways, in my experience.
JOHN, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ONE MORE THING ABOUT YOUR WOMB.
Oh yes you do.
Ned, your professional curiosity is yours alone.
Hey, YOU’RE the nurse. You’re supposed to care about medical freaks of nature.
To quote my roommate, “Keep your laws off my duderus.”
OK, HERE ARE TWO THINGS ABOUT MY WOMB THEN. IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL IN SIZE, AND I KEEP IT IN A VLASSIC PICKLE JAR IN THE FRIDGE.
Care about them, sure, but hear about them, no.
(Also, I won’t be a nurse for 3 years. Plenty of time for John to have a hysterectomy.)
John, remind me never to eat at your house.
John & Kali, you guys rock. Thanks for helping us kill the Miller Lite.
I have the sense that FB just finally woke up from last night...
Here’s your birth control motivation for the day: I gave J. a mochi (someone had given me a box after a recent trip). She didn’t like it. So she squished it up and smeared it all over her hands, her feet (she took her socks off to do this), and a coffee table. Argh!
Also, in case Kali hasn’t seen the library related thread on sandbox, here is today’s highlight (safe for anyone’s viewing, even if you’ve never worked in a library):
Other effective forms of birth control: HDTV + Porn.
I do not wish to contemplate this combination.
That video is hilarious.
I liked the “fabulous plumage” on the faces of the male librarians. I’m kind of mystified by the guy dressed as a Stormtrooper, though.
“Other effective forms of birth control: HDTV + Porn.”
I would/will die of dehydration if/when those things come together for me.
Granted, it’s unlikely. I prefer to read it.
J
e
w
i
s
h
watch
What, have you turned into g.g. cummings?
GARFIELDDATE.JPG SO FUCKING AWESOME THAT MY HEART HURTS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YCOIgwhy_U
ALL MUST SEE ALL OF THIS.
Does John mean e. e. cummings? Or is that some kind of weird joke?
I’m taking a take-home test and OVERTHINKING IT.
I’ve always liked this poem by e. e. cummings:
dive for dreams
dive for dreams
or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind)
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding)
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth)
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were.
g g allen + e e cummings = g g cummings
If I was drunk I’d love the poem.
I don’t like poetry.
Well, as long as you would like it if you were drunk...
I like gibberish, and I like plain prose literature, but anything in between tends to annoy me.
Thus after I’m done with Wuthering Heights I’m re-reading William S Burroughs’ ‘Exterminator!’ because it’s one of my favorite books ever.
It’s somehow gibberish AND prose without being in that limbo of normal poetry.
Whisky breath
and painted;
women
bring me to my.
senses.
Prostitutes
and loaded;
guns
’cause trouble is my.
business.
Out of curiosity G, do you ever get annoyed when you read back your own posts?
I have plenty of poems from the college era that could be considered gibberish. I won’t post any, though, because I don’t want to get arrested.
That’s just laziness because I don’t want to blather even MORE in order to fill in the paragraph that single line would have become/was.
/XP
Sara, I bring you, Kate Bush lyrics that would be problematic in todays world:
The Infant Kiss lyrics by KATE BUSH
I say good night-night.
I tuck him in tight.
But things are not right.
What is this? An infant kiss
That sends my body tingling?
I’ve never fallen for
A little boy before.
No control.
Just a kid and just at school.
Back home they’d call me dirty.
His little hand is on my heart.
He’s got me where it hurts me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there in this baby?
You know how to work me.
All my barriers are going.
It’s starting to show.
Let go. Let go.
Let go. Let go. Let go.
I cannot sit and let
Something happen I’ll regret.
Ooh, he scares me!
There’s a man behind those eyes.
I catch him when I’m bending.
Ooh, how he frightens me
When they whisper privately.
(Poor, stupid girl!)
Windy-wailey blows me.
Words of caress on their lips
That speak of adult love.
I want to smack but I hold back.
I only want to touch.
But I must stay and find a way
To stop before it gets too much!
All my barriers are going.
It’s starting to show.
Let go. Let go.
(Don’t let go)
Let go. Let go. Let go.
I have no clear idea of what we are talking about!!!
Oh God, college poetry.
There’s only so much morose self-loathing I wrote back then that I can reread without cringing mightily. The one about how my parents hated me (ha, “the one”) was particularly cringeworthy; J031 actually burst into tears when she read it (she claims she was moved but I know it was because it was really fucking awful).
The fact that you ever did frightens me, ehfhe
college poetry>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>high school poetry
Some 9th grade classics of mine: “bloody cheerios” and “dead girls on roller-skates”
My friend M4i4 read several of mine before pronouncing me “gloriously f-ed up.” Mine are all still bound in the same two black binders, in their original notebooks (BITCH BOOKS). No one gets to look at them anymore, which is kind of too bad, because the notebooks themselves have all kinds of other goofy stuff in them.
(I just looked the other day because I remembered a list I made of my favorite songs about chemistry when I took orgo. “Losing My Electrons” by R.E.M., for example. I had a list of 10 songs that I’d changed the titles to like that. “Head Like a Halide”—NIN. Etc. GOOFINESS!)
I liked your poems, Dan!
“bloody cheerios?!”
I love that one already.
Also, I like the Kate Bush lyrics, too!
That particular one about my parents is awful, though, mostly because I know it would cause an enormous unecessary FITE if they ever read it. I don’t think “HI DERE I WAS 18 AND SELF-ABSORBED” is a good enough excuse for “my parents wish I’d died instead of my brother”.
factoid to those who once inhabited/experienced Feronia:
The porn folder on the harddrive left to John which was accessed by someone(I believe their name was Tim?) was entitled Anal Justice.
It’s in fact the title of that story, it’s not exactly ddescriptive of it, but the fact that it retains that title is indicitive of its level of sanity.
I won’t describe it to you, because...It’s not really possible, and the title alone should be enough to make you wonder about the humanoid named Tim(?).
Granted, it was on MY harddrive, but we all know I’m insane.
Yikes, GZeus. Insane!
Dan—so don’t let them read it. A. and I both still talk about how we are not either of our parents’ favorites; the weird part is that we are both the favorite in-laws (not much doubt in my mind there). And any person who had a sibling die would think that EXACT SAME THING. No reason to fight about it unless you yourself have no memory at all of being 18. (Admittedly, plenty of adults seem to not remember that, but you know what I’m saying.)
My dad found a poem I wrote (@16?) about him and asked me about it. It was very uncomfortable.
Fortunately or unfortunately, most of my freshman year poems are no longer extant.
FB—after reading my journal once when I was in 9th grade (and me getting into trouble for the contents), I don’t think my Mom ever deliberately read anything I wrote down. (Don’t know if it was because she was afraid of what she’s find out or if she was afraid I’d get even angrier at her about looking at stuff clearly labeled “private.”) Are you going to tell us what the poem was about?
(xpost to myself) I kind of want to modify that to “any person who had a sibling die when they were kids,” but I’m still self-absorbed enough to think that if H. really turns out to be ill that I would still have those thoughts.
Possibly this has to do, though, with what happened when I broke my arm while pregnant. I started writing out what happened, but I don’t want to get into it online. Suffice it to say that, while I’m sure my parents were very busy and all, it was pretty hurtful.
My friend once was trying to memorize the lyrics to a Nine Inch Nails song, so he ended up writing them on some mathhomework incidentally.
There was no convincing the school counselor he wasn’t suicidal.
I think I’ve written two poems in my life. Both thankfully lost/burned.
lol about the NIN song lyrics
Ned—no teenage poetry-writing habit? That’s just wrong!
I wrote one poem that could truly be called an effort.
I think I ATE it the next day. I wanted it to NOT EXIST.
I still remember lines. *shudder*
The rest of my ‘poems’ are either intentional tongue in cheek lyrics or stream of consiousness burroughs tribute things.
Ned—no teenage poetry-writing habit? That’s just wrong!
Hey, I can’t help it if you were all the spooky teenage poets. I was busy writing reviews for Tolkien fanzines (quel surprise).
Most of the time I spent reading rather than writing, aside from class assignments and all that. I didn’t start writing-as-such until senior year of UCLA when I was an irregular columnist for the Daily Bruin.
I was busy writing reviews for Tolkien fanzines (quel surprise).
Oh well, that explains everything.
Good lord have I written a lot of poems. Good lord are some of them bad.
But some of them are good, so it all evens out in your case.
“Losing My Electrons” & “Head Like a Halide”
Sara, I love these. Please post more of your song titles.
John has also written some great poems. Dude, I hope you haven’t lost them.
With modern literary perspectives(I..don’t use them, so I do need to ask) how does one determine if a poem is good, if the meaning is determined by the readers?
I mean, somethng the author, or even one reader to the next, likes could be something the next hates, all based on personal interperetation...
This is why I don’t like poetry. I have no idea what it means unless it’s explained or it’s explicit.
Also if you think about it modern literary theory is about 50 years old. Literature and poetry are thousands of years old.
I’m old-fashioned. Maybe that means I’m ‘excentric’ instead of ‘insane.’
I have numerous problems with ‘the new criticism’ or whatever, but that’s gonna be a blog. I’ll post it next year. I’ll start writing it next week.
FB, I will look up more song titles after lunch. (I looked in the notebooks because in studying for physiology I literally made the same joke—“Losing my Electrons”—to myself. SAD!)
I have a few of John’s poems and a few of Dan’s poems, each in ther own individual folders. I CLEARLY remember being on the staff of Revery and having John turn in 2 or 3 entire notebooks every year, though.
GZeus, I can only hope you wouldn’t understand some of the poems I wrote. Seriously.
GZeus, like/dislike can’t constructively be used in any general measure of good/not good.
Of course, if we get into a discussion of aesthetic theory, you’ll all end up killfiling me. I’ll probably end up killfiling myself, actually.
What is then becomes the problem. And I do mean like, not enjoy.
Without measurable meaning or likability being factors, what’s left? It’s a string of shapes with a history and cultural significance, but the latter can’t be a factor, as that leads toward contextual evidence...
This is why I dislike these kinds of ideas. They lead towards convolutions, cyclical arguments, and overcomplications. It reminds me of moral relavivism.
But again, this is stuff for that blog.
I’d be interested, John, but I suspect that you are heeding the better angels of your nature or whatever that phrase is.
FB is always up for discussions that might lead to DEATH.
Okay, so October 1991. Clearly I was trying to avoid my organic chem studying:
Top 10 Fave Chem Songs
10. Depeche Mode—Products Are Products
9. Erasure—Chains of Carbon
8. The Cure—Stereochemistry Street
7. Mudhoney—Let it React
6. Robyn Hitchcock—So You Think You Made Gold
5. Nirvana—Smells Like Acetesalicylic Acid*
4. Depeche Mode—A Question of Lead
3. Concrete Blonde—Everybody Reacts
2. Nine Inch Nails—Head Like a Halide
1. R.E.M.—Losing My Electrons
*acetysalicylic acid is aspirin; here I was also making a joke to myself about the first hour (9th grade) “practical chemistry” lab that Mr. Gr0ssm4n hadn’t tested where we were supposed to synthesize this chemical. It smelled SO strong and SO bad that people had to leave the room. The class periods after us didn’t have to do the experiment.
lol at stereochemistry street
wheedly wheedly whee chugga chugga whee dunt dunt dunt
This seems like a variation of my wheedliewheedliewheedliewheedlieweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeechunk-a-chunk
Apparently I was seriously bored during that era; I have followed that list with lists of my favorite and least favorite chemicals.
I don’t know what I had against tert-butyl alcohol, for example, but on the favorites list I have caffeine (C8H10N402) and NaCH (Sodium cyanide).
I hate all carbohydrates. Fuck a organic chemistry.
No.
IT BURNS
I can’t hate on the carbs. Bread! Chocolate! SUGAR! (Plus, carbon is the basis of all living things, so it’s hard to hate it totally. Still, why were you at GAC when I was taking that class? Probably a good thing; I might really have burned my orgo book if you had been around to encourage such a thing.)
God, could you imagine if we’d ALL gone to college together????
BEDLAM AND RUIN FOR EVERYONE, YAY
Would have made a lovely fire. God, I hated orgo. Midway through, I was at an A-. By the end of the semester, I had a C-. I literally evoked god in several problems (GOD3 = triatomic molecule get it haha) and BEER-OH functioned as a handy shortcut through a few nasty tributyl-whatshisface-type fiascoes.
I actually prefer chuggachuggawheechuggawheechuggawhee.
FB, you took orgo?!
Dan, it would have been worth the inevitable prison sentences to be at the same college with you guys. (For one thing, FB could have been my orgo lab partner—apparently—and he could have pointed out SARA YOU ARE CRUSHING ON ANOTHER GAY MAN STOP NOW, and saved me months of aggravation).
The serious downside: A. would likely have been scared away.
God, could you imagine if we’d ALL gone to college together????
BEDLAM AND RUIN FOR EVERYONE, YAY
TRUE
I actually prefer chuggachuggawheechuggawheechuggawhee.
HAHA. That’s good. What about ckbrrrrrrchrack-pop-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
LOOKIT ME I CAN GET CLOSE TO MY AMP
By the way, BEER-OH = Beerahol. Oh, I thought it was so clever, especially while drunk.
That is pretty funny; did you actually write that on tests?! Good heavens. What possessed you to take orgo? I must know.
Was it the geology major?
God, could you imagine if we’d ALL gone to college together????
BEDLAM AND RUIN FOR EVERYONE, YAY
A vision.
yar (xpost)
Olaf has no geology department (that I know of). Was it fun? (Was orgo why you switched to philosophy?)
Now if Ned was at college with us all, well, that would have CHANGED EVERYTHING.
(for one thing, Ned and I would have gotten into a competition for who could grow their hair longer and then I would have been irritated because he won)
TIME TO PLAY FIND TEH HASTNGSER!
COARSE LITTLE MONSTER!
I was going to post JEFFE’s cameltoe emoticon here but now it seems like it would be... wrong.
lol... How on earth did you run across that?
I’m magical.
John was the model for Harry Potter. He speaks Parseltongue, too. True story!
\|/ or \||/ ? You decide.
Also: \*/ and (@).
Wait, is H011y the only Hastingsonian on that site?
I think so. Why?
Everyone who listens to music: Get Koss In-Ear headphones
In-Ear? Are they like those little earpieces that came with my iPod?
I have spent an inordinate amount of time on the checkbooks for my Dad’s stores this weekend. Every time I close my eyes I see numbers swimming there. Two down, one to go.
(I don’t think Sara has seen this yet.)
Han, the iPod ones are earbuds.
the Loss ones are like foam earplugs.
The only problems I’ve found are they make it blatantly obvious if one ear is different from the other and they’re LOUD.
deX, I saw that! I immediately thought, “if I had seen that out of context, I TOTALLY would have recognized Dan via the spelling of ‘deX!’” Totally hilarious.
Earbuds! That is the word I was searching for.
It is the loudness factor that makes me nervous with the “in ear” thing; I’d like to be able to hear still when I’m 65...
By loud I mean “your volume control won’t get above 3/10.”
My dad’s been sneaking smokes in the garage.
I stole all his matches and threw away the old aluminium can.
Now we wait to see if he says anything.
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