Back up here: John and FB both have philosophy degrees, shouldn’t they have had to take logic courses?
On the other hand, Dan has been at ILX longer...
My core concentration was logic, actually, which is why I bristled at the “proving a negative” misapprehension.
more importantly:ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE “CORE MEMBER”, ITS THE WAY THAT YOU USE IT TO MAINTAIN “SOCIAL ORDER” ON “TEH INTENETS”. IF WE START LETTING JUST ANYONE INTO HSTNGS THRD, SOON OUR GENTLEMANS CLUB WILL BE OVERRUN WITH TEH HIP AND HOP.
I posted my response on the tedious thread.
DP, PERHAPS WE SHOULD COMBINE OUR FORCES TO BATTEL FB, WHAT IS A “RED HEADED STEPCHILD” AS THEY SAY IN RURAL AREAS.
I am neither a core member or a racialist. I am a subversive.
^nor
RED STATED HEAD CHILD?
DEAD HATED RED CHILD
FIRE CARPET/DRAPES
HSTNGS THRD ALL CAPS DAY IS NOW IN SESSION! WAHT! HI DERE JW!
NO NO FB IS MY EVIL TWIN, SECRETLY SEPARATED AT BIRTH. NONE OF YOU CAN FOOL ME.
SUP
UNEMPLOYED CARPET/DRAPES = UNSAFE STREETS AND BROKEN CARPET/DRAPE FAMILIES
ONLY YUOR DOCTOR KNOWS FOR SURE TAHT YOU ARE ON TEH WELFARE
BLAH BLAH OBLIGATORY MOM REFERENCE BLAH BLAH
HAHA I OWN TEH LOGICS
RED HEADED STEPCHILDS HAEV NO RAEL MOM, OBLIGATORY OR OTHERWISE
XPOST
CAN YOU REALLY CALL A DUTCH ELM-DISEASED TREE “MOM”?
I HAVE IDEA FOR PHRASE “POXY (GENE)PULE”, BUT NOWHERE SAEF TO USE IT.
XPOST HEHEHEHE
WHAT SAFER SPACE EXISTS THAN HSTNGS THRED?
HSTNGS THRD: TEH FINAL FRONTIER
WE INTERRUPT THIS FIGHTY FIGHT THING TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE:
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR REGULARLY-SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING
WHO CAN TAEK A RAINBOW DRESS IT IN A SMILE? NOT DAN BECAUSE LEX TOLED ME HE HAETS TEH GAYS.
A BRIEF INTERLUDE OF TEH FUNNEYS (THX TO INTREPED NOISE THRD RESEARCH)
I REMEMBER THAT LOL
AND JOHN SINGLEHANDEDLY CAUSES ME TO DROP OUT OF NURSING SCHOOL. THANKS A LOT!
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
“HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE”
I COULD HAVE JOINED THE CONVENT IN THE EARLY 90’S. NOW I REMEMBER WHAT WAS PROMPTING ME TO THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.
HANGING OFF HIM LIKE A BLOOD SAUSAGE = BABY JOHN CLINGING TO DADS ARM AS HE TRIES TO CAST THE NEWBORN INTO THE TOILET
WOAH AMBIGUOUS PRONOUNS
AWESOME AMBIGUOUS PRONOUNS!
DISTURBING REGARDLESS OF PRONOUNS
NESTED ABORTIONS
WORSE WITH EVERY POST.
KIND OF IMPRESSIVE, REALLY.
OOH, A CHALLENGE
I AM IMAGINING A SERIES OF ABORTIONS LIKE THOSE NESTED RUSSIAN DOLLS, WHERE EACH ABORTION HAS A SMALLER ABORTION INSIDE OF IT
(XPOST) I LIKE TO THROW DOWN THE GAUNTLET BEFORE I HAVE TO PICK AL3X UP AND POSSIBLY GET SUCKED INTO PLAYDATES. THEN I HAVE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY WHEN I GET BACK.
OH WAIT, I THINK THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LOGICAL PROBLEM WITH THAT. (JOHN?)
THE LAST TIME I GOT SUCKED INTO A PLAYDATE, I HAD TO GET TEH PENNICILLIN
TURDUCKEN
EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THOSE LAST TWO POSTS. (ESPECIALLY IF YOU COMBINE THEM)
I WOULD CRUSH THIS ABORTED FETUS INTO A PASTE AND SPREAD IT BETWEEN YOU GET THE IDEA
JOHN YOU GET MY VOTE; I SURRENDER!
YOU GET THE IDEA
ABORTED FETUS PASTE
YOU GET THE IDEA
SERIOUS VIOLATION OF THE RULES OF HAIKU THERE, FB
TURDUCKEN, YES!
TURBORTION SOUNDS LIKE A MALPRACTICE SUIT WAITING TO HAPPEN
IT SHOULD FEATURE PROMINENTLY IN TEH ABORTION CLINIC OLYMPICS DURING THE SPEED ROUND
LETS THROW THIS VACUUM PUMP INTO OVERDRIVE, BITCHES
GOOGE
d
THE FUTURE OF REALITY TELEVISION EVEN MORE DIRE THAN PREDICTED
GOOGE AWAY
YOU CAN GOOGE AWAY
STAY ALL DAY
IF YOU WANT TO
WHY AM I HEARING THAT IN MY HEAD... SET TO MUSIC?
BECAUSE OF YOUR LATENT SCHIZOPHRENIA
MENTAL ILLNESS, YOU ARE A TUNESMITH
LATENT
THANKS GUYS I FEEL BETTER ALREADY. AND I NO LONGER NEED MY IPOD WHEN I GET IN THE CAR!
LATEX SCHIZOPHRENIA
YOU GET THE IDEA
LATEX SCHIZOPHRENIA
YOU GET THE IDEA
YOU ALL WIN THE INTERNETS.
TALKING IN ALL CAPS IS TIRING. FB, KALI AND I ARE COMING TO YOUR HOUSE TONIGHT TOE CELEBRATE VDAY BY DRINKING YOUR BOOZE COMPRENDE.
My race card would be better if my Jewish and polish ancestors hadn’t escaped.
As it is it’s like “Oh, so that’s why you like Klezmer...”
Well, it’s hard to tell. My great grandfather grew up in an orphanage in WI, so...
I WANT MY RACE CARD!! NO ONE WILL FEEL GUILTY, JUST UNCOMFORTABLE!!
I prefer that, actually.
I miss the garfield generator thread.
Even the off topic posts were on topic...
ALL CAPS OR NONE. ALL CAPS OR NONE. ALL CAPS ARE NONE.
ALL.
FB I COULD INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND GR3TCH3N IF YOU WANT. (IS IT TIME TO STIR UP V DAY TROUBLE YET?)
NEVER EVER ON VDAY
IT’S FUNNY BUT I FEEL LIKE I’M SPEAKING IN FORTE AND YES IT’S VERY EXHAUSTING WHICH IS WEIRD
WELL I COULDN’T POSSIBLY INTRODUCE YOU *TODAY* ANYWAY; A. IS FINALLY GETTING OVER THE FLU AND I GET TO STAY HOME FOR THE NIGHT
IT IS EXHAUSTING TO READ THIS. I CAN KIND OF PICTURE US ALL STANDING AND SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER FOR HOURS, THOUGH.
I SUSPECT WE WOULD ALL SOUND A LITTLE BIT LIKE THIS FELLOW:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtb7BGF8p_I
HE HAS BEEN SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS FOR TOO LONG. OH THE HUMANITY.
MY GOD THAT POOR MAN. IT’S PROBABLY TOO LATE FOR A FULL RECOVERY.
Sorry to break the all caps flow, but I wanted to salute El Jefe for his courage to arrange the intervention Dan so desperately needs to reject his overwhelming homophobia.
NED, YOU MUST ASSIMILATE!
NED, WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER. MIXED CASE = MUDDLED MINDS.
LEX SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY, BUT CALLING A MAN A SCHOOLGIRL IS MORE MISOGYNISTIC THAN HOMOPHOBIC. DAN HAS SO MANY PROBLEMS TO WORK THROUGH, BUT WE ARE ALL FRIENDS.
wait dan hates fags?!?!
The Lex thinks Dan thinks that way. The Lex is deeply mistaken.
jw, a quick tip about Hastings thread; a lot of what is said is crazy b.s. If you read through RealILX and took it seriously, you might get the idea that I was a prostitute/assasin. And that’s not exactly what happened.
I don’t get what made this Lex person think that Dan is homophobic, though.
you might get the idea that I was a prostitute/assasin. And that’s not exactly what happened.
Instead, you ARE a prostitute/assassin. Tense is key.
No. No. No. Dan hates women.
SARA NEVER ACCEPTED THE MONEY, FROM WHAT I HAD HEARD
(I told him that the way he wrote about music was the equivalent of a teenaged girl lipsynching to pop songs in the mirror and that his methods of analysis privileged image, fashion and PR over actual music. He decided I said this to him because he is gay, not because he writes about music like a teenaged girl etc etc etc.)
Dan hates gay women.
Instead, you ARE a prostitute/assassin. Tense is key.
“I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.”
-MH
Why am I suddenly having flashbacks of T0dd dancing to “Vogue?”
LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST PEOPLE
(AND NED, YOU JUST HUSH.)
NED WATCH OUT
SHE WILL SHOT YOU WITH BREASTGUNS
Like in the Mirwais video? ROXOR.
HUSH-PUPPETS
hahaha wait WHAT MIRWAIS VIDEO???????????????????
:-0
SWEATER PISTOLS
If you had ever met me in person, Ned, you’d know that that isn’t much of a potential threat. (xpost)
Oh, I was hoping you meant “Missing You.
Well now people can watch both and decide.
OMG, I actually self-edited. I was going to write something over the line. (MY LINE)
OK HARDCORE ROFFLES WAU!
I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW FB HAD A LINE!
IN THE COMSMETICS INDUSTRY, FB’S LINE IS MORE COMMENLY REFERRED TO AS A “BRAZILIAN WAX”
COMSMETICS?
(OUCH)
John hates gays.
And women. And farm animals.
BUT HE HAS HIS REASONS.
KEEP YOUR SPELLCHECKING LAWS OUT OF MY ALL CAPS WOMB, NAZI
XPOST
I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW FB HAD A LINE!
— Sara Robinson-Coolidge (sr...), February 14th, 2007.
Yes, but no light escapes from the other side of my line. Sometimes, unwholesome things crawl across that line, only to die and sublimate in the light.
Sometimes? Only sometimes?
Sometimes...they survive:
WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO FALSELY SLANDER SOMEONE, FB, YOU DO IT IN ALL CAPS.
FOR EXAMPLE “FB LIKES TO SNORT COKE OFF OF DEAD HOOKERS”
VS.
“fb likes to snort heroin off of dead hookers”
The unwholesome things crawl both ways, in my experience.
JOHN, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ONE MORE THING ABOUT YOUR WOMB.
Oh yes you do.
Ned, your professional curiosity is yours alone.
Hey, YOU’RE the nurse. You’re supposed to care about medical freaks of nature.
To quote my roommate, “Keep your laws off my duderus.”
OK, HERE ARE TWO THINGS ABOUT MY WOMB THEN. IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL IN SIZE, AND I KEEP IT IN A VLASSIC PICKLE JAR IN THE FRIDGE.
Care about them, sure, but hear about them, no.
(Also, I won’t be a nurse for 3 years. Plenty of time for John to have a hysterectomy.)
John, remind me never to eat at your house.
John & Kali, you guys rock. Thanks for helping us kill the Miller Lite.
I have the sense that FB just finally woke up from last night...
Here’s your birth control motivation for the day: I gave J. a mochi (someone had given me a box after a recent trip). She didn’t like it. So she squished it up and smeared it all over her hands, her feet (she took her socks off to do this), and a coffee table. Argh!
Also, in case Kali hasn’t seen the library related thread on sandbox, here is today’s highlight (safe for anyone’s viewing, even if you’ve never worked in a library):
Other effective forms of birth control: HDTV + Porn.
I do not wish to contemplate this combination.
That video is hilarious.
I liked the “fabulous plumage” on the faces of the male librarians. I’m kind of mystified by the guy dressed as a Stormtrooper, though.
“Other effective forms of birth control: HDTV + Porn.”
I would/will die of dehydration if/when those things come together for me.
Granted, it’s unlikely. I prefer to read it.
J
e
w
i
s
h
watch
What, have you turned into g.g. cummings?
GARFIELDDATE.JPG SO FUCKING AWESOME THAT MY HEART HURTS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YCOIgwhy_U
ALL MUST SEE ALL OF THIS.
Does John mean e. e. cummings? Or is that some kind of weird joke?
I’m taking a take-home test and OVERTHINKING IT.
I’ve always liked this poem by e. e. cummings:
dive for dreams
dive for dreams
or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind)
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding)
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth)
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were.
g g allen + e e cummings = g g cummings
If I was drunk I’d love the poem.
I don’t like poetry.
Well, as long as you would like it if you were drunk...
I like gibberish, and I like plain prose literature, but anything in between tends to annoy me.
Thus after I’m done with Wuthering Heights I’m re-reading William S Burroughs’ ‘Exterminator!’ because it’s one of my favorite books ever.
It’s somehow gibberish AND prose without being in that limbo of normal poetry.
Whisky breath
and painted;
women
bring me to my.
senses.
Prostitutes
and loaded;
guns
’cause trouble is my.
business.
Out of curiosity G, do you ever get annoyed when you read back your own posts?
I have plenty of poems from the college era that could be considered gibberish. I won’t post any, though, because I don’t want to get arrested.
That’s just laziness because I don’t want to blather even MORE in order to fill in the paragraph that single line would have become/was.
/XP
Sara, I bring you, Kate Bush lyrics that would be problematic in todays world:
The Infant Kiss lyrics by KATE BUSH
I say good night-night.
I tuck him in tight.
But things are not right.
What is this? An infant kiss
That sends my body tingling?
I’ve never fallen for
A little boy before.
No control.
Just a kid and just at school.
Back home they’d call me dirty.
His little hand is on my heart.
He’s got me where it hurts me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there in this baby?
You know how to work me.
All my barriers are going.
It’s starting to show.
Let go. Let go.
Let go. Let go. Let go.
I cannot sit and let
Something happen I’ll regret.
Ooh, he scares me!
There’s a man behind those eyes.
I catch him when I’m bending.
Ooh, how he frightens me
When they whisper privately.
(Poor, stupid girl!)
Windy-wailey blows me.
Words of caress on their lips
That speak of adult love.
I want to smack but I hold back.
I only want to touch.
But I must stay and find a way
To stop before it gets too much!
All my barriers are going.
It’s starting to show.
Let go. Let go.
(Don’t let go)
Let go. Let go. Let go.
I have no clear idea of what we are talking about!!!
Oh God, college poetry.
There’s only so much morose self-loathing I wrote back then that I can reread without cringing mightily. The one about how my parents hated me (ha, “the one”) was particularly cringeworthy; J031 actually burst into tears when she read it (she claims she was moved but I know it was because it was really fucking awful).
The fact that you ever did frightens me, ehfhe
college poetry>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>high school poetry
Some 9th grade classics of mine: “bloody cheerios” and “dead girls on roller-skates”
My friend M4i4 read several of mine before pronouncing me “gloriously f-ed up.” Mine are all still bound in the same two black binders, in their original notebooks (BITCH BOOKS). No one gets to look at them anymore, which is kind of too bad, because the notebooks themselves have all kinds of other goofy stuff in them.
(I just looked the other day because I remembered a list I made of my favorite songs about chemistry when I took orgo. “Losing My Electrons” by R.E.M., for example. I had a list of 10 songs that I’d changed the titles to like that. “Head Like a Halide”—NIN. Etc. GOOFINESS!)
I liked your poems, Dan!
“bloody cheerios?!”
I love that one already.