mamas and papas..im starting to get scared about international flight 28 and 31 weeks pregnant. tell me it will be fine.

also, should i try to change to an ailse seat now or should i wait and hope for a first class upgrade?

cor, they’re naming seats after me now?!

(change to an aisle seat in case you don’t get an upgrade, then try for an upgrade anyway)

Sunny, wrap flight attendants around finger by hollering “OH THE CONTRACTIONS ARE CLOSER TOGETHER NOW” whenever you need service or to get someone out of the toilet.

My child is so grown up all of a sudden. She wears college like comfiest jeans.

Okay, what the fuck’s the matter with this fucking board. Harumph! I did this whole post and only two pics came out. GRRRRR. I probably did something screwy with HTML.

Actually I blame my migraine.

Left pic is me and O playing with photobooth. Other is an old pic.

I think there’s a limit on images in the code here.

I am so so so proud of my daughter—she’s graduating with her masters in a few weeks:

yay!

my boy has his first fever, just a little stomach bug we think. He’s doing fine.

I’m going to an ILXor baby christening on Sunday! I haven’t been to a christening since I was 19 months old (I checked this with my mother earlier, I thought I’d never been to one ever apart from my own but I was reliably informed I was taken to my little brother’s one).

No-one I know ever has their kids christenened :-/

some friends of ours had stillborn twins this week. :( major sadness.

That is heartbreaking. May they find strength in each other.

That is the saddest thing I can imagine, I think.

ack, yeah, kind of sorry I posted that here actually. I can’t even imagine what she’s feeling.

I want to say something helpful and supportive, but I don’t know what to say because there’s nothing you *can* say, is there? But Jaq is wiser and more eloquent than I. So I’ll just reiterate that.

(xpost don’t apologise. And, FWIW, don’t try and imagine what she’s feeling, just be a friend if and when needed)

:-( Oh man. That’s so sad.

Oh man, condolences to your friends, Sam.

And congrats to Jaq’s daughter!

And best to feverish Louis. Our pediatrician wisely advised us not to rush to the medicine cabinet when Sarah had fevers — the fevers were there to burn out whatever the underlying cause was, so we let them go unless they got really high.

Mine’s a Sarah as well. She’s already got a full-time position lined up starting in January, and is so excited :) We are going to Flagstaff for the ceremony, as she’s walking this time.

Do today’s parents use the Dr. Spock Baby book at all? I had an older copy that had some fairly sensible advice in it. My favorite child-rearing book was Kids: Day In and Day Out, which I’m sure is long out of print and far too hippy/mid-70s to be of much use today.

I loved Dr. Spock. So warm and commonsensical.

my mom gave me her old copy of dr spock!

I used to read my mother’s copy of Dr. Spock when I was in grade school! (I was a weird kid. Also, apparently we didn’t have enough books in the house).

When my kids were babies, I used to read some of the Dr. Sears books. They are a little intense for some people, though (not everyone wants to be encouraged to breastfeed forever, or co-sleep. Also, I never did catch on to how to use a sling).

yeah for some reason as a kid I was highly interested in the spock book. and unbeknownst (okay somewhat knownst) to me I am a big old hippie and really dug on dr sears, although I didn’t pick up his books until the kid was around 6 mos. I recommend them with the same caveat, esp for moms who send the kids to daycare because he’s so harsh on that, boo.

I think I am going to end up being one of those moms who breastfeed forever, which is fine, it’ll give the inlaws something besides politics to talk about on thanksgiving.

Jaq, your Sarah is a cutie pie! What is her master’s in?

Thanks Beth :) Are both your adorable boys taken? Maybe we could be bicoastal internet meddling matchmakers :) She did her bachelor’s in spanish and art. Her master’s is a new program in spanish pedagogy—lots of stuff about how people learn languages at various ages. I’m taking credit for her interest, because when she was taking spanish in grade school (an experimental double-track of english and spanish when we moved to AZ), I asked her to teach me. She gave up in disgust after a few months because I am terrible at pronouncing :)

Good for her! The way they teach languages here is so lame—too little, too late. Maybe it’s different elsewhere, and if not, maybe Sarah’s generation of educators can shake the system up.

Both my boys are involved right now. I try mightily not to pry into their lives, but it’s hard. I practically have to do Lamaze breathing to keep from asking questions.

I’ll definitely let you know if one becomes available, though!

It is hard, isn’t it. My son’s been living in Florida for almost 3 years now, and I have no idea where or what he’s up to. Nerve-wracking during hurricane season. He’ll communicate via email, especially if I have a programming issue I want his input on, but rarely over the phone. He is however coming to Sarah’s commencement. The thought of seeing him is making me very happy.

Do today’s parents use the Dr. Spock Baby book at all?

My mum used it (not for educational purposes as she found it too liberal). I bought a new one when I was in university. I wanted to be a child psychologist so I figured I’d need the Dr Spock book. I looked in it once or twice when Ophelia was in my belly and after she was born but I didn’t much like what he had to say about certain things (like do you go to yr kid when he’s crying or not).

I don’t really look in the books anymore.

we are going through hell trying to get Ian to sleep “through the night” (i’m so sick of those words). we tried cosleeping for a while but it was a disaster, he kicked up, woke himself up, wanted to nurse every hour. He’s much happier in his crib and sleeps longer, but still wakes every two hours after an initial four hour stretch. We’re having to let him cry it out a bit, which is painful; but I think it’s not going to work completely until the crib is out of our bedroom (the bedroom is huge, you’d think he wouldn’t know we were there, but I think he does).

Tallulah feeds much more often than Ava ever did, but she has got a bit of catching up to do, considering how little she grew during those last 10–15 weeks in the womb. Tallulah was born on EDD minus 12 whereas Ava was EDD plus 12, so there’s really a 24-day differential; TG gets weighed tomorrow (day 28) and I bet she’s practically the same as AG was on her day 4.

So, yeah, we’re not getting much sleep (I do Tuesday, Friday and Saturday nights) though last night wasn’t too bad—fed on demand at 12:15, 3:50 and 5am (at which point we were joined by a wailing Ava).

Here’s Tallulah doing her threatening Scouse face:

Here’s Ava buried under cushions:

We’re having to let him cry it out a bit, which is painful;

It is really painful, and unfortunately a lot of parents who can’t stomach it for 1–3 nights end up with 4 years olds still sleeping in their beds.

ava has the most luminous skin!

Ava is the most beautiful person on the planet! No wonder she has to hide under pillows. Otherwise you would receive a steady stream of pilgrims.

Aw, Beth!

I find myself posting pics to these threads (and scrolling through my Flickr sets) on days when I know I’m going to work late and hence not see her in the flesh when I get in... :(

It is really painful, and unfortunately a lot of parents who can’t stomach it for 1–3 nights end up with 4 years olds still sleeping in their beds.

sometimes it takes longer than 1–3 nights unfortunately, also. but yeah, we just met someone who has a 10 month old who hasn’t had more than ONE HOUR of continuous sleep since the baby was born. NO. She seemed a little...insane.

She probably was. Sleep deprivation can mimic the effects of both psychosis and certain hallucinogens.

(I admit I’m waiting for the word on Tom E.‘s kid here. Anyone have any word?)

t is really painful, and unfortunately a lot of parents who can’t stomach it for 1–3 nights end up with 4 years olds still sleeping in their beds.

That’s it. We’re just going to get a hotel room while the kid cries it out.

I don’t blame you. The worst is when parents aren’t on the same page on the issue. A constant sore spot for my cousin and his wife.

Also bad is when you have to go through it all over again because you visited someplace where the tyke had to bunk with you (happened a couple of times visiting the in-laws for 1–2 weeks over the holidays). Even being in a crib in the same room can cause a relapse. (akm: get the crib out of your room!)

That’s it. We’re just going to get a hotel room while the kid cries it out.

— PPlains (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), Today 7:28 PM. (PPlains) (later)

Yay!!

t is really painful, and unfortunately a lot of parents who can’t stomach it for 1–3 nights end up with 4 years olds still sleeping in their beds.
That’s it. We’re just going to get a hotel room while the kid cries it out.

Y’know, as cruel as this sounds: the kid is not gonna suffer emotional damage because you let him cry it out. I know this easier said than done, but, trust me, with a little ferberizing (or just plain crying it out) it’ll be solved. Look at your kid, can he manage to be on his own for an hour? Yes? Well, do it. I was of the opinion that I couldn’t let Ophelia cry a little but my husband stressed that I had to or she wouldn’t be able to be on her own. I don’t think I was that *bad*: I did leave her for a minute or so but being with him (instead of being a single parent for example) taught me that I wouldn’t really fall in my mother’s trap of forever being there for my daughter. I was so dependent on my mother that I had EXTREME tantrums when my mom wasn’t there (day or night) up until the age of about 2,5 yrs old. I just have to remember what Ophelia can become and I know that a bit of crying will do her good. God, that makes it sounds as though I neglect her. Trust me, I don’t! :-)

Yeah she does!

;-)

I just want to say: I am so fucking happy that Ophelia has such a GR34T daddy. Honestly, if I compare it with some (not here!), sheesh what’s up with guys these days?

TOM E YOU BETTAH POST A PIC OF YR BEBE!

Hadn’t arrived yesterday....

Tallulah is 2.92kg (6lb 7oz)! That’s 37g/day since she reattained her birth weight on day six. No wonder we’re not getting any peace, she’s doing some kind of De Niro for Raging Bull blimp-out.

rufus is 4 today! and, hey, beth parker, if you see this, feel free to stop on by for cake.

cyrus and hagar the horrible:

not a birthday pic, but what the heck, rufus and great-grandma hope down in florida:

that last one is CUTE.

chillin’in front of xmas tree!

I went and saw BabyOnimo get christened this afternoon. Also EXORCISED! Teh Catholic church ROOLZ!!! I took photos but they turned out shite.

kid is still sick and so am I. And we had an ice storm that knocked out power to half our house. the half with the heater and the fridge and the computer. :( we got an electrician to come and switch things around so that the important stuff had power, but the electric co has to fix the power line and we’re at the bottom of (literally) a half-million household list of outages.

:-(((

Update! Ophelia in handknitted sweatah! Waddayasay? I even included a zippah.Hoera! Sleeves are a bit short though but I blame the teacher who changed the pattern. Harumph.

Scott, we were away for the weekend. We’ll come by!

Evidence that my love of the Wu-Tang is affecting my child’s life:

E4: I want to take boxing!

E3: How about if I just beat you up?

E4: Okay! Tiger style again?

I just found out my parents might be getting this for Ophelia. SHould I be worried?

No, every kid should have their own cute Asian friend.

ROFL Gerry, y’know, it’s possible that it includes this Japanese baby. They are obsessed with Japan (and do indeed live there). I’m actually going for a week to Japan with Ophelia in about seven weeks. (EEEEEEEK!) My parents keep trying to push me to let her sleep with me on the futon. No. Fucking. Way. “But that’s how the Japanese do it?” Well, I’m not Japanese and I demand a bed. I don’t want Ophelia getting used to co-sleeping.

So what’s the consensus on pregnant women SMOKING? I was appalled at the woman next to me in knitting class CONFESSING that she smoked a pack per day all through her THREE pregnancies. I MEAN WTF! Not only do I find it... I just can’t put into words how shocked I was that she not only did it but that she also ADMITTED it. I would definitely not confess to it. But hey *whatever* her kids came out fine (as far as I know). She said she was too nervous and had already gained 15 kilos.

I have a sister who was told by her DOCTOR to not bother quitting while pregnant because it would stress her out too much!

Nath, that outfit’s adorable! dress ophelia like that before she’s old enough to know better.

It blows my mind that in this day and age anyone would consider smoking while pregnant acceptable.

uh sister-in-law that should read. If I had a sister, I think I’d give her a little more shit about smoking. She started her new one on a pacifier “because they reduce the risk of sids”...I have absolutely no opinion on pacifiers but you know what else reduces the risk of sids? QUITTING SMOKING. You might want to think about laying off the coke too, sweetheart.

oh man. . .

I’m hoping that you meant “pop” in that last sentence, teeny.

Once I saw a woman who was clearly in labor standing outside our local hospital having a smoke. Every time she had a contraction, she’d stop puffing and brace herself against the building. I wondered what she told the l & d nurses she was going outside to do.

We’ve broken down a bit on the “no kids in the bed” rule. I think with twins, a lot of “rules” go out the window. Another one we’ve given up on is the “no pacifiers” rule. It would seriously be impossible for my wife to stay sane without pacifiers.

We hope to get the kids out of the bed soon, of course. We only have a queen size bed, so it’s a little crowded with the two babies. I suggested putting the bed in the garage and putting a king size mattress on the floor, but that was just too ghetto an idea for my wife.

A couple new pics:

From the Flickr set

We co-slept with both kids, but that was our plan in the first place. I was glad that we did with Alex, since he was born 6 weeks early and had apnea of prematurity. It was gone by the time he left the hospital, but after seeing my tiny baby stop breathing so many times, there was no way I was trusting that. We transitioned them into their own beds in our room (where Julia still is, actually); Alex moved into his own room when he was 4, I think.

haha rules. the only rules that count are the ones the government enforces.

and I was just about to rep for co-sleeping too. It was not our plan (I didn’t even think it was “done”) but once we started we all liked it! Occasionally it is a pain but usually it is all cuddles and sweetness.

At the risk of sounding completely insane, I used to wake up before Alex when he was a baby and try not to move so that he wouldn’t wake up. Then I could breathe in his sweet breastfed-baby breath!

As for rules, yeah... good luck with that. You have to do what works with the kids you wind up with...

Had Ava in our bed until 4–5 weeks then transitioned her to a little bassinet by our bed before finally moving her to her own cot in her own room at 3 months.

With Tallulah we had some “success” initially with her in her own crib in our room—sleeping reasonably well, one major feed per night. But lately she’s not been doing so well—whether it’s the cold she’s had since Ava snotted her sisterly affection all over her in week one or the looming spectre of colic (she has digestive/gas issues way worse than Ava ever did)—we usually need her in the bed for her to sleep soundly for more than 30min at a time. Last night was an exception—she slept in the crib until 3:45am, thereafter (fitfully) in the bed.

Whether through jealousy or by chance, Ava now wants back in on the act. I think it’s the final throes of teething—she wakes up wailing at 1am or so and we have to take her into our bed to calm her down. You can tell it’s a real illicit treat for her—she’s smiling to herself as she burrows into the pillows between Mum and Dad. If Tallulah’s already in prime sandwich position, I have to take Ava downstairs or just arrange the two of them very carefully. Hope it doesn’t become a nightly occurrence.

you are all scaring me.

Excuse the naive and personal question, but if you share your bed with a baby, when do you get teh good lovin ect? Or are you so knackered it wouldn’t feature anyway?

Other times, I guess. And yeah, we’re knackered. And when you get a C-Section, you’re on “pelvic rest” for a while.

Our doctor told us the only documented cases of people rolling over and crushing their babies involve BOTH obesity and drugs/alcohol. Something like 80% of the world’s population sleep with their infants in the bed.

Thing to watch out for: Keep the covers/comforters away from their head(s).

And of course, put down a “piddle pad” because babies be wettin’!

There are other rooms in the house. Maybe a guest room... ahem. (You have no idea how many times I have answered this question. I used to get kind of sarcastic and say, “Haven’t you ever seen Fatal Attraction?” I quit that when I started to think that my friends were looking at me funny.)

I’ve never seen Fatal Attraction!

Never seen Fatal Attraction?“ Hmmmm. I don’t know whether or not to recommend it; it’s kind of creepy.

And when you get a C-Section, you’re on ”pelvic rest“ for a while.

Really? Is it longer than the standard 6 weeks for vaginal births? (At 6 week post-partum checkup, my ob’s standard comment is, ”you can go back to doing anything legal...“).

I think 6 weeks is it. We’re at 4 right now.

the kid sleeps fine in the crib for as long as it takes.

It blows my mind that in this day and age anyone would consider smoking while pregnant acceptable.

I know! I discovered my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me, but I can sort of brush that off cause, hey, it was the 70s and she was 18 yrs old. Still...

In re to lovemaking: I think one of the reasons I put Ophelia in her own room was that I prefered doing some hanky panky when she wasn’t around. ;-)

AHA! He was bottlefed! :-)

My mother smoked Salems and drank martinis when she was pregneant. I turned out...me.

The martinis nullify teh ciggies

Excuse the naive and personal question, but if you share your bed with a baby, when do you get teh good lovin ect? Or are you so knackered it wouldn’t feature anyway?

having a baby is the perfect birth control

where’s archel??

At home. On maternity leave. Baby not due until Boxing Day. She was around the other day on the Watercooler thread.

having a baby is the perfect birth control

We had a client in the shop whose two oldest childres were ten months apart. Yep. Ten months.

OUCH.

Hello, I’m not Archel but her husband cleverly disguised as her. Just to let you know this this happened yesterday...

...hence no Archel.

Her name is Alice Elizabeth and she and her mum are both still in hospital being taken good care of. They’re both doing very well.

Anyway they should be home soon and I’m sure Archel will be posting lots on this thread in the future.

I’ll leave it at that for now. Sorry there’s so few details in this post but I thought Arch would enjoy sharing all that stuff with you herself.

Hope you’re all well,

Matt xxx

Matt send lots of HUGGELZ and CONGRATS to Archel!!!!

Congratulations—she’s beautiful!!!!

yay!!! congrats to you both!

Oh, how wonderful! I was just wondering how Archel was doing, then I clicked on this thread and saw the beautiful Alice Elizabeth :))

Many congratulations—I hope you are all doing well. Thanks for letting us know, Matt :)

Congratulations!

I kinda feel that way, too—there’s been some good stuff here!

Bunch of youngsters with no kids over there anyway...

(lucky bastards)

No, I don’t mean that—it’s just sometimes when you’ve been up till whatever the hell the time is and you’ve still got ironing and clothes sorting out to do and you’ve just been on your hands and knees on the kitchen floor scraping godknows what off it and and then you go into the playroom and there’s just stuff EVERYWHERE and you can’t find the remote and all you want to do is crash and then one of them wakes uo and goes ‘dad, i want to go to the toilet’ and that wakes the other one who wants a drink...and...zzzzzz

where’d everybody go...

I get Ava to sleep that easily maybe one night in six or seven.

Ha—it’s all about routine and things have been a lot better in the last month. “Dummies and puppies?” Ava asks as I’m towelling her down post-bath; her cot contains a few pacifiers (yes, we’ll phase ’em out eventually) and a couple of plush dogs, y’see. And off she goes.

Wearing her mum’s specs:

Out in the snow:

Tallulah gets ready for snow outing:

AW

AWWW AWWW AWWWWW AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

you just broke me

Two days to go, so looks like I may have a Sandbox baby...

Could be a Valentine’s Day baby like Ava! Fingers crossed for you.

Sunny & I toured the maternity ward today. Coffeemaker & microwave in the delivery room, ooo wee!

Thinking of you Meg!

Alice and I walked a very long way in the rain this morning for her first round of immunisations, only to find that the appointment card we’d been sent was totally wrong and we were supposed to book with our own GP (two minutes walk) after all. Argh. Still, defers the agony...

Question: how do you implement a ‘routine’ while still feeding on demand (and when feeds are demanded at fairly random intervals)? Alice slept from 6.30pm until midnight last night, neatly missing any bedtime routine window we might have had. And I hate to wake her up when I don’t know when we’re next going to get any peace...

the feeds float above the routine, don’t worry about it. at this age I would just have a few pre-bed things...a cuddle, a song. One thing I recently learned is that you have a great bed opportunity 30 min after a feed, that’s when the milk hits the gut and makes them sleepy.

Ah, here we go—an aerial view:

http://www.douglasandlisa.com/sterling/s151.jpg

whoops:

Oh, that mass of curls. What a gorgeous little fella.

Your site reminds me that I need to take pix of Ava in the bath (she’s often at her hilarious best when splashing about), in monochrome (that great Jan 13 one!) and I need to take more videos.

Ava still pronounces her “L” as “W” despite Daddy’s best efforts at instilling palatalisation (“watch my tongue—LuLu.” “Yuyu!”). It’s cute, we’ll just leave it. Her command of numbers is still haphazard—one through twenty but rarely in order and she confuses 8 and 2 for some reason. She’s a bloody sponge though—it’s incredible to watch her absorb all this stuff and chuck it back at you.

Sending easy labour vibes your way Meg! Hope the little one doesn’t keep you waiting too long!

Now that morning sickness has finally passed, even though we’ve had a scan and a teeny bump is emerging, I’m finding it really hard to remember that I’m pregnant, it’s almost as if I’m in denial, which is very very odd. In 3–4 months time if I look back at this I’m sure I’ll have a bitter chuckle to myself.

Still, 136 days until I go on maternity leave!

More fluff please! Douglas, that’s such a gorgeous head of curls!

Aw, curly!

I felt the same Vicky—mainly because I always imagined I was going to look enormously visibly pregnant from about 4 months onwards, which was far from the case. Plus I didn’t have any morning sickness to speak of and generally felt ‘normal’ most of the time, so it was very easy to forget, sometimes.

Question: how do you implement a ‘routine’ while still feeding on demand (and when feeds are demanded at fairly random intervals)? Alice slept from 6.30pm until midnight last night, neatly missing any bedtime routine window we might have had. And I hate to wake her up when I don’t know when we’re next going to get any peace...

Just go with the flow. She’s still young and thus not open to much *coaxing* (in my opinion). But I did make sure that I would do the feeding in the same place and would also put her beside (with the telly on, so she got used to noise) after the feedings in the evening. That way she more or less got the hang of “night time is sleepy time.”

Ophelia has been extremely clingy (after Japan). It’s a bit difficult as I want to do my work in the shop. But it’s flattering as well of course.

Yo peeps

Oh, it didn’t work!

Ava is 2 today and that was supposed to be a little sequence of photos from birth to recent.

Here are the other two, FWIW...

She has such beautiful eyes!

So her birthday is on Valentine’s day? That’s so sweet and befitting for a cute girl like Ava!

She’s 9 days, 6 months, 13 months and 23 months in that sequence.

oh that pic in the crib is great! hb ava!

lou’s gone all mellow and snuggly lately:

the sweetest thing is when she wraps her arms around me and plays with my hair. i just melt

Happy birthday Ava!

Oh teens, I want to smooch that handsome boy. What a sweet face.

I want to pick Louis up and cuddle him.

Doesn’t look like I will get my Valentine’s baby after all, as he/she shows no sign of turning up today. So from tomorrow I am officially overdue and up for following any advice on how to get things moving, unless they involve castor oil.

Poor Meg.... for advice on how to get things going—lots and lots of sex apparently, what a hardship!

It worked for me!

Happy birthday Ava! May your third year make you even more adorable :)

Good luck Meg! If all the sex doesn’t tire you out, try walking up and down stairs a lot.

So... Ben had another set of spells, starting on Monday morning. He was diagnosed with having actual seizures after an EEG picked up a very mild seizure. It is unclear what is causing the seizures. They are of the staring variety. He does not shake, or clench, or do anything other than sort-of stare blankly for a few seconds. These seizures do not hurt him or damage his brain. Usually, seizures are caused by some sort of trauma or scarring of the brain, which probably occurred in-utero. He had a sonogram yesterday (with babies, they can look through the soft spot!), and they didn’t find anything macroscopic. He is going to go back in for an MRI at some point to get a much closer look at his brain. For now, and probably for at least a year, he is going to be on anti-seizure meds (because if he were to have a longer seizure, it COULD damage his brain, since he could lose some oxygen). He has been put on Keppra, which is a newish drug (at least in terms of its use for kids) that tends to have less drowsiness than some of the others, although it can make babies a bit more irritable. We’ll see, I guess. If it doesn’t work, there are some other options. Ben hopefully comes home tonight or tomorrow, barring any other unforeseen circumstances.

Poor little Ben. And poor you, how stressful. Is he home yet?

Hope he does well on the meds, and good luck with it all.

Oh David! What you must be going through. :-(((( How is your wife holding up? I saw the pictures and he looks so beautiful but oh so fragile. I really hope the medication helps and they can find out what causes it. You’re in my thoughts. :-(

Doesn’t look like I will get my Valentine’s baby after all, as he/she shows no sign of turning up today. So from tomorrow I am officially overdue and up for following any advice on how to get things moving, unless they involve castor oil.

FIrstborns are usually late. :-) Good luck with the delivery!!!

My friend’s baby was due last Friday, no doubt she’s climbing the walls by now. (Don’t feel like advising her to make with the sex tho, as her partner is my boss. Ew.)

I think Ophelia was about five days late. I was crawling around on all fours the last couple of weeks. I could not walk properly, but like a penguin, which amused my husband to no end and infuriated me. hah !

Funnily enough I can walk a bit easier now the head’s fully engaged—seems to have taken some of the weight off my back.

Sadly, as we live in a ground floor flat there’s no easy access to stairs for walking up and down. As for teh sex, we’ll see tonight ;)

Oh, David—hugs to you and you family!

Ben’s back home, as of last night! He seems do be doing well, although the thought of putting a three-month-old baby on brain drugs bums us out a bit. Anyone know of any alternative therapies for Partial Focal Seizures?

Here are a couple of pics from the hospital, when Ben got hooked up to an EEG.

Wow—poor little Ben. All those wires! Hopefully he won’t need the meds for long.

Meg, I never had any luck inducing with sex or anything else I tried. (Possibly because sex is so hilarious at that point, though). I do remember thinking, BRING ON THE PAIN I CAN TAKE IT. It is so uncomfortable at the end.

Um, that second picture might not be one your wife wants out on teh open internets.

But yes, poor wee Ben.

good point.

Did they miss each other while Ben was in the hospital? (Twins fascinate me.)

It’s hard to tell. The first time, when we brought Ben home, they had a little “conversation,” where they would each take turns talking and listening to each other. They are still a little young to really understand the presence of each other, but they do cute things like hold hands when they breastfeed together.

Awwwwww.

What Luna said.

omg awww.

I think I am feeling mine move! Lots of squirming movements and the odd kick—mostly when I have eaten too much and there is no space left for the baby!

Archel, you had SPD didn’t you? I have pain in one side of my groin when I walk so I am wondering if that is the same thing. Is there anything you can do about it?

omg david that’s so cute!

David, big hugs for everything that you and your family are going through, I hope things settle down soon and normality returns.

Liz, when are you due again? I forget and it’s on old ILE. I keep hoping to feel something (16 weeks and 2 days) but it’s still early days yet I guess, and the placenta’s at the front which could mask it until later :0(

I felt first movements around 16 weeks, it’s such a great feeling :)

Liz, there’s not a huge amount you can do about the SPD I don’t think—I was told to keep my legs together as much as possible (!) ie bring both feet together on each step when you go up stairs, get out of bed by swinging both legs to the side etc. Also, sleep on your side with a pillow in between your knees. I had a lovely V shaped pillow which was a livesaver (and is still handy now for support when feeding).

I’m 18 weeks and thought I wouldn’t feel anything for a couple more weeks but it must be an energetic baby.

Thanks, Archel. It isn’t a definite diagnosis but I’ll talk to the midwife next week & try the pillow thing anyway.

xpost to Vicki: I’ve got an anterior placenta too and although I had a few very faint flutterings from around 15 weeks, I didn’t feel an actual definite kick til 20 weeks. And even since then, I don’t seem to have felt as much movement as other preggos I know. Hopefully it’s a sign of a laidback baby—could explain why he/she is in no hurry to come out!

Sigh... five days overdue and still no baby. Have tried curry, sex, walks... but not so much as a twinge yet! I’m booked in for a membrane sweep by the midwife tomorrow, anyone had the joy of one of these?

On the main forum I use there’s a useful FAQ on membrane sweeps here http://forums.ovusoft.com/tm.asp?m=6541601&p=1&tmode=6 and a list of other useful threads to read here http://forums.ovusoft.com/tt.asp?appid=36&tmode=6 which should keep you busy if things don’t start happening soon. Hope you’re not feeling too uncomfortable and things kick off soon...

Vicki, Rufus was 2 weeks “late” — it’s very normal.

Well, midwife wasn’t even able to do a membrane sweep this morning ’cause my cervix is still well and truly closed. So now I’m booked in for induction next Monday (which will be 12 days over my due date). I’m kind of glad to have a final deadline for giving birth but sincerely hope I will go into labour naturally before then.

I mean Meg (not Vick

y). Just having my first cup of coffee.

Yeah, our Sarah was two weeks late too, according to the doctor, but right on time according to when we figured she must have been conceived.

I was THREE weeks late! They finally did the caesarian. I think this was mainly due to the fact my mom was sick (toxoplasmosis) and her health was a risk? I don’t know, I was there but unaware. ;-)

Three weeks is way too long. Usually +2 weeks is the upper limit because the placenta will stop functioning properly so the baby doesn’t get enough nutrition or oxygen.

Sorry, that should have read that there is an increased risk of that—I made it sound like a certainty.

Yeah, look at me. Not enough oxygen and you get me. hah. Food I had plenty of: I was 4,50 kilos. heh.

The OBGYN was a professor, I don’t think he put my mum at risk though.

How do you work out the due date from conception? We’re pretty sure what date we conceived, would be interesting to see if it corresponds to the date from my last period.

There’s due calculators online, Meg!

Ah yes—managed to find one that calculated it from conception, not LMP. And it says I was due on 11 Feb, so if that date’s right then I’m even later than I thought!

Well, they calculate from the first day of your last period which is not that trustworthy (if you want to be exact) as your ovulation is not *exact*. Sorry, headache, not talking properly. Now with me I can’t even remember my last period! I’m crap at dates. :-(

I lied to the doctor and the midwife, otherwise they’d have put my due date two weeks early (I was charting so know within a day or two when conception was) although early ultrasounds are meant to be pretty darn accurate for dating purposes.

How Not to Talk to Your Kids

The Inverse Power of Praise.

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html

Wow. I just emailed that link to my wife. I wish I could get it to my bro-in-law without seeming too critical of him.

Yeah, it’s a bit Freakonomics, but it is at least intriguing. Happily for me, I don’t have any kids to praise, but I saw it and thought of this thread (although it’s _not_ directed at any of you!)

On a lighter note, here is my baby brother (25 years my junior). He’s just about to crawl, by the looks of things.

WE PRAISE YOUR EFFORT, young Caekling!

Personally, I praise caek senior’s effort! 59 this May, and a wife of 32. RAWR.

that is one cute kid!

So tell me everything about having two kids. I need positive experiences here!

Ooh so is the bun officially in the oven or are you still just thinking about it?

Well, the rule is to wait three months, right? Maybe on some planet there’s a three week rule? If so, then I can officially say I’m PREGGERS. We decided in January and now, yes, I’m already pregnant. Fingers Xrossed that it’s going be as easy as with Ophelia. It was quite a surprise but we’re both—Ophelia doesn’t realize it yet (hah!)—very happy. :-D

Congratulations!!!!! Aw a little brother or sister for Ophelia, she will love it I’m sure!

She better! We’re doing this for her. ;-) But yeah hopefully all goes well. :-)

How are YOU doing? Is she sleeping through the night yet? I think that is one of the most important things that make it much easier for the parents: a good night sleep. :-) Shit, at the end of the year I’ll have to give this up. Oh dear! :-)

What I am thinking about is taking the baby to a daycare (?) a couple of days a week. Most of my friends keep saying I should keep the baby (like I did with Ophelia) but I know how hard that wat (running a shop while taking of the baby). I don’t think I’ll cope with two kids... I feel guilty saying it but I do have to stick with the plan. I feel a bit like a bad mommy though.

Funny you should mention sleeping through—Alice went 8 hours last night! Unfortunately it was 6pm to 2am haha. I was expecting her to wake for a 10pm feed—and with luck skip the 2am one—but she didn’t, and I was asleep by then too, oops... but it’s progress.

She had her first vaccinations yesterday as well—barely blinked, the brave little tinker :)

Oh man, that’s great! I mean, it’s not the ideal time, but still now you know there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t be so stupid like me, I stayed awake and did everything I wasn’t able to do before (like read books and stuff).

How is old is she now exactly?

Yay for not crying! :-)

nathalie goes for round 2! congrats!!

She’s ten weeks tomorrow!

Oh wow, you’re lucky! Soon she’ll be sleeping through,don’t worry about it. Ophelia did from about four months (seven PM till 6 am).

Yay! Congratualtions natalie!

Awesome news! Congratulations Nathalie!

Here’s something great about having two kids: they play together. Sometimes this devolves into fighting (at our house they even fight about imaginary things), but sometimes they play together so nicely and it’s really great.

oh fanks. it’s a bit overwhelming really. :-)

Gefeliciteerd, Nath! Don’t feel guilty about daycare. There are pros and cons to both staying at home and going to daycare. We’ve seen our boys linguistic and social skills jump just by virtue of input from other kids and care-givers. You’re not a bad mommy.

I’m wondering about a health issue. Cyrus, now 1.75, likes to carry around a bottle—it’s his comfort item. It’s time we should make him switch to a cup, but we haven’t had the fortitude to deal with the crying. My real question is not so much about that, but about the volume of liquids he drinks. I know it’s best not to give a kid that age more than a measly 4 oz. of juice. We only give him 100% juice and we water his bottles down so much that he only has a bit of juice. But he wants to have a bottle of milk or juice all the time. He wakes up in the middle of the night asking for a bottle a few times a night. Last night he drank 4 bottles during the night. He wakes up with his diaper soaked through. He cries and cries for it. He’s also had sort of chronically loose poop, which makes me think he needs the liquid.

I know the answer already — we have to be tough and just limit his bottles. But I’m wondering if maybe he’s got some digestive/intestinal thing going on that makes him thirsty all the time.

Yes, it sounds cruel, but you really have to let him cry. It’s not good for his teeth either, I think, no? That said, I find it difficult to say no to Ophelia: she wants to be held so much. I just can’t help it, I let her on my arm way too much probably. But I figure that one day she’ll stop and that I’ll regret not having her carried more. hah.

I find it hard about daycare but I know that it’ll be a good thing. In march OPhelia will go two days a week. A friendn said that she’ll make big jumps as they are stimulated* a lot. My mom and best friend however are adamant that keeping a baby as long as possible is much better. Hmm, I think I’ll contact the daycare and see if I can still reserve a place. It’s quite difficult.

I didn’t put either of mine in daycare, and honestly, I kind of regret not doing so. Eight years of being a SAHM was kind of driving me nuts. (Maybe it would have been different if I had a shop and therefore had more interaction with adults, but on the other hand, that sounds pretty stressful.) Once I got Julia (the younger one) into preschool—finally!—she was happier and so was I. She has friends there and a lot of fun. I’m sure she would have loved daycare, too.

Maria, can you ask a doctor about the intestinal/digestive question? Because that has got to be really hard on your son’s teeth. One possible compromise to make the transition easier: switching to water only bottles at night. Then he still has the bottle but at least it’s not anything that is going to cause dental caries.

holy moly nath! congratulations! #2 scares the shit out of me, I would totally not feel guilty about getting some daycare help, don’t be a martyr.

oh and regarding gestation, pregnancy lasts 40 weeks from date of last period, 38 weeks from fertilization.

Yay Nathalie!

We have discussed whether there might be a no.2 one day, but we’re going to see how we get along with one—right now I’m really not convinced I could go through pregnancy again (and I haven’t even done childbirth yet). Mind you, I was doing fine until I went overdue—it’s just this past week I have been somewhat miserable.

Congratulations Nathalie!

Meg, our family lore for bringing on labor is to go to the diner and order the BLUE PLATE SPECIAL!!!!! Who knows what the Blue Plate Special was. Probably a lot of greasy food!

Congratulations! We got two at once, and frankly, it’s pretty hard. We are looking forward to the playing together part.

Congrats!

Our kid’s going to daycare at six weeks. I sure hope you don’t feel guilty about sending a one-year old to daycare!

There were things about having two kids 21 months apart that were easier, but mostly I remember in the early years there was just so much stuff to deal with—diaper bags and toys and car seats and high chairs and changes of clothes. Wrangling all the material goods of two small people was occasionally overwhelming.

Congrats, Nath!

It seems like so many people I know are pregnant now, and I’m finding that I really really really want another one. Clearly not going to happen, and come on, I’ll be 35 this summer, I’m already at the “advanced maternal age” period of my life, but wow, I WANT ONE.

Learning to live with “yeah, probably not gonna have any more” is sort of sad and a little hard.

There were things about having two kids 21 months apart that were easier, but mostly I remember in the early years there was just so much stuff to deal with—diaper bags and toys and car seats and high chairs and changes of clothes. Wrangling all the material goods of two small people was occasionally overwhelming.

As the dad of two kids 21 months apart, this rings so many bells with me it’s practically a campanologists’ convention.

It’s very tough at the moment; I’m not sure we’d have coped so far without the network of neighbourhood mums (people Pam met at the weekly drop-in centre when Ava was very young) who helped us out when Pam was in hospital and occasionally give her a break by taking Ava for an afternoon. Ava loves her sister very much but has a tendency to express it in a slightly unrestrained manner—the other day she almost gouged Tallulah’s eyes out in her enthusiasm. I look forward to when the dynamic of their relationship is a bit different to the constantly dangerous scenario of the rambunctious 2-y-o running wild vs helpless 3-m-o tot who gurgles happily even when 2-y-o is dragging her off the couch to “play” with her.

Free time just vanishes when you have two, I find. One child might seem draining of your time and energy but you will pine for those days of just one kiddie. And, as Jaq says, the logistics of looking after/transporting/doing anything social with two is massively complicated vs one child.

No one should ever give you grief for relying on daycare or other outside help even if you have just the one child. Whatever helps you get by, whether financially or emotionally. Parenting seems to be this continuous balancing act between what you need to do to just to cope and what the prevailing expert opinion on any specific topic is telling you to do (whether feeding, sleep routine, weaning, toilet training, etc).

It’s all worth it, though. I think.

One of the big stressors with two kids is the constant monitoring of “fairness.” Someone always feels like the unfavored child. Christmas is a nightmare of parity-calculation.

Michael, STOP, don’t make me doubt. ;-) I know what you mean, though, even though I’m not experiencing it yet. It scares me a little but I know that it’ll only last two years... I think. Hope. :-)

I’ll be 35 this summer

Hell, I’ll be 34 when the second will be born. Do I care? Hell no, I wanted two and that’s what I’ll have. Hopefully. :-)

Yes, but O. is also wee herself as opposed to the 9.5 year old I have, and um, you’re married. Hi.