maybe you should start a solo act called jerkface
— my name is river wolf (reduhnekkisssss...)

the greatest thing i’ve read all day.

maybe you should come up with better band names for our fake band

OKAY I’M IN

chicago kevin OTM

SKRONK

SEE I CAN DO THAT HERE

you do it, expert

i have a ton of them but am saving them for other fake projects that may not be fake come spring.

xp

i have a keyboard i can’t really play!

hannibal and the elephants

a solo act called jerkface

STAR VOYAGE

“maybe you should start a solo act called jerkface.”

“maybe you should start a solo act called sebadoh”

riparian riverine

the poor choices was the name of the fake band that we proposed last friday. or was it pour choices? i don’t think we ever sobered up enough to clarify that.

kevin i was directing my comments toward river wolf, not you BTW

mothers against celibacy

dude you suck at band names

“maybe you should start a solo act called sebadoh”

Nah, not catchy enough.

>:(

kevin i was directing my comments toward river wolf, not you BTW

good ’cause the other were PURE GOLD i tell ya!

i’m not saying i’m good at band names, either, BTW

best parts of shabadoo were always gaffney’s freak outs anyway.

i don’t think i’ve ever heard a good band name

the poor choices=good band name

also kevin OTM about sebadoh

i’ve never been in a band with a good name, i think the world ran out of good band names in 1980 or so

about half of those were debated choices for my last band, btw

the last good one was THE SUBURBS i think

I will play mandolin, octave mandolin or mandodobrobassbeast in all these DC bands.

what was the name of the horton heat/mojo nixon-style pscyhobilly/gospel group i wanted to start? the crystal methodists?

i want it to be scary and awesome.

oh i can actually play saxophone

YOU’RE IN

PICKY FACE

When the change was made uptown

And the River Wolf joined the band

picky face and the boxcars

On the Orval/Duvel thing.

they are very different beer, Orval is more lembic (withou being truly lembic) and Duvel is a Dubbel, I do like it although I think Westmalle Dubbel is slightly better, more of that wheaty sweetness.

the crystal methodists=another good band name.

BOXCAR has to be the name.

Boxcar Method

rod torkleson’s guitar armada featuring herman mendenchuk.

There’s already a band called Boxcar! They’re in Australia.

shorten it to guitarmada and we might have a deal

Apparently I have a fanclub in the other place.

how bout we dress like death metal bands, get pointy headstocked bc rich guitars, tattoos, warm up with metal riffs and cookie monster vocals then when the show starts play bubblegum pop like the archies and partridge family and shit?

jw wuvs u

xp

My band is probably going to do a gig in April opening for a group called Flock of Assholes.

Haha in all early-20th century lit for young people “that other place” means HELL.

i think i should leave now guys

hasta la pasta gbx.

Wait, WO...you can LEAVE? The INTERNET?

there’s a whole wide world out there

and besides, SOMEone keeps shitting on my feelings

i’m tethered by a cat-5 cable to my workstation. i’m about 20 minutes away from gnawing through my own ankle coyote-style.

I have experienced definitive proof that I really don’t cause the majority of problems with me on the nets.

lollz

Haha in all early-20th century lit for young people “that other place” means HELL.

Nah, it just means Oxford/Cambridge (delete where applicable).

3 hours 58 minutes until i’m in club foot sucking down suds.

Nowadays “that other place” means anal.

ok later guys

hah, in chicago it would mean milwaukee. which is an apt analogy dan.

APPEARING TONIGHT: THAT OTHER PLACE

Later, Evs.

WOW HTML

WOW SENSIBLE IMAGES OFF!!!!!!!

ok, i’m hungry. what am i having for dinner tonight?

Steak?

Okay yeah, have that.

man, i wonder if there’s a cheap place in the neighborhood to get a steak.

Dudes, I have just seen a commercial for the the Winter Olympics in Sochi in 2014, it is the most dirtpunk thing evever. I want to go.

don’t know what’s dirtpunk about it, but sochi seems pretty cool.

palm trees + snowy mountains!

The commercial was, sochi I’m sure isn’t.

BOURBON YOU ARE OTM AS USUAL

ALSO RYE EXCUSE ME PLEASE MANHATTAN I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW OTM YOU WERE TONIGHT

that was manhattan the cocktail, but, you know, the borough was ok too

GR, what are we doing this weekend? You’re coming to Monday Night Drinking Club, of course.

UH i don’t have plans yet! it will be cold and snowing (wtf!) so i will probably want to be drinking whiskey somewhere.

also dear laurel,

i’m sorry about the maybe crepey text message i sent you last friday, sometimes i get drunk and quote inland empire to strangers.

yrs sincerely,

ghost “river wolf” rider

go ahead alex, act like it’s gotta be cold for you to drink whiskey.

That’s, okay, Alex, it was less creepy than the one a few weeks ago that said “Blow me, hot stuff.”

Also, Saturday is St Patrick’s Day, which means that even in bad weather Manhattan will be very unpleasant in some areas. You might want to steer clear of Irish bars, whiskey or no whiskey.

That’s, okay, Alex, it was less creepy than the one a few weeks ago that said “Blow me, hot stuff.”

— Laurel (sininspac...), March 15th, 2007. (Laurel)

haha i remember that

yeah for those following at home let the record show that i wasn’t responsible for the “blow me” text

i said LETS TEXT LAUREL

ally said OK ILL SAY BLOW ME HOT STUFF

see i remember it more like

69: let’s text laurel

ally: what should i say

69: BLOW ME, HOT STUFF

ally: :D :D :D

(btw 69 yesterday i had drinks with the lady at whom you chanted “EX GIRL FRIEND! EX GIRL FRIEND!” that very same night)

laurel otm re. st patrick’s day, i will either go to the least irish bar ever or i’ll just chillax by the fire at someone’s swanky pad

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH A SWANKY PAD

that txt msg reminds me, did anyone have steak last night?

YES BUT THERE’S THE LITTLE MATTER OF THAT RESTRAINING ORDER YOU UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS HAPPEN

(XP)

I had lamb sirloin.

ohhhhhhh my head, my achin achin head

solution: early lunch

solution: lots of bad brains today

I would recommend drinking in one of my locals on Saturday (in Brooklyn). Most of them aren’t swank (altho one comes to mind that DOES have a fireplace) but they’re quality drinking venues and should be signif quieter on the holiday.

Unfortunately I don’t know yet whether I’ll be marching in the parade that morning/afternoon, will have to get back to you. Given the forecast I’m guessing we won’t, because after dancing the Tartan Day Parade last year IN FREEZING, PELTING RAIN we all got sick and said “nevar again”.

my head hurts when i move it so i’m focusing on being as still as possible.

i think my head should maybe be surgically removed? because of the hurt?

smoking too many cigarettes this week is just making me SUPER tired. how do you people do this??

i went through a pack between 8:30 and probably around 1 or so. i feel like jerky.