1. finish this stupid “self evaluation” for my job which asks questions like “What are your special accomplishments? Be as specific as possible!” and i feel like answering “if i wasn’t here, you would go out of business so i’m not even going to answer this question, you fucktards.”

2. coffee

3. sit around, avoid coworkers

4. go home

5. do not leave

6. stay there

7. no, don’t open that bottle of wine

8. stay at home a bit more

9. consider going out

10. NO

11. bed :D

7 NOT OTM

i am going to test out pete’s revolutionary limiting smoking/drinking idea and report back on his claim of it being amazing, tho.

pete was obviously goofed up on free xanax when he wrote that.

bed at 11, though, that’s taking it too far

no i mean bed will still be at 2am like normal, it just is 11 on the list.

PS OTM

WHY DON’T YOU AND PETE JUST GO DO YOGA AND DRINK TEA MR QUE

yelling=uncouth

me=i yell all the time

mr que is otm, dudes

if you don’t like yelling you are hanging out with the wrong crowd, sir.

I NEVER SAID I DIDNT LIKE TO YELL

12. watch otter video again

yes that is the most otm of all of the list.

pervs

12a. jack it

you guys suck

13. apologize to bros for lame joke

13a. jack it

14. clean up

dudes i’m sorry, i’ve actually been doing yoga and drinking tea, should i ask someone to ban me y/n

i drank tea this morning, it’s ok

n those things are awesome.

if yr a girl, yeah

no either way it’s cool don’t be hatin

15. talk with peers at work about performance objectives with staff

16. schedule performance reviews for Thursday/Friday

17. finish rewriting stored procedures for production crisis

18. WoW

cuteotters.com otm

i like yoga and i like tea and i am a dude

19. gym?

20. learn about digestive system

these were all bad, boring ideas

guys this idea was seriously terrible, i couldn’t sleep and am now in a horrible, bitchy, intolerable mood.

y couldn’t u sleep

i dunno, dude. just kept waking up? i ended up dragging my ass out of bed at like 8:45 and was running super late for work :\

Cool thing about having a baby is that where going to sleep used to be like inching into a lukewarm lake is now like pushing a button on that Grand Canyon skywalk deal and a trapdoor opening up.

I thought the cool thing about having a baby was that a baby comes out of the woman’s vagina?

I think my wife would prefer FedEx next time.

I don’t know, my wife would be really pissed if FedEx came out of her vagina.

I’d be more pissed if FedEx came into her vagina.

Well, this isn’t about you.

Have FedEx guy piss into her vagina = problem solved.

gaaaaah you guys!

John, that’s your solution for everything.

you guys are gross for real

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯Three weeks pass⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

ok so today my to do list consists of joining every single group on flickr and see how many random comments i can amount.