Key words that come to mind include “tedium,” “nausea,” and “anxiety.” Surely the worst film about music, and the worst soundtrack for a film about music.
You have seen two movies, and I claim my blah blah blah.
Closer
New Rose Hotel
Shakma
Zardoz
Unforgiven, the Audrey Hepburn one
the Audrey Hepburn one where she’s a bird girl and Norman Perkins isn’t
Psycho III
Halloween III
Scream III
Scary Movie III
Godfather III
Poltergeist III
Rad
That Charlie Brown dirtbike one
This isn’t even the worst Renee Zellweger movie!
scary movie 3 is a laff riot
and poltergeist 3 is pretty scary
I am so glad Closer is at the top of that list.
Umm but yeah, I think we had a thread a while back on real-ILX where I opined that Empire Records is totally awesome, in a crap-movie way. I can totally understand the nausea reaction, but I don’t entirely get the tedium or anxiety, or how they go together — were they alternating?
Emire Records : My So-Called Life :: My So-Called Life : the rest of the world
Poltergeist 3 had Tom Skeritt but also had Donna from Twin Peaks. When you throw non-Robocop Nancy Allen into that, you’re in the sub-Empire Records zone.
xp; I hate hate hate Closer, it’s always gonna top the list. I almost put Domino in, except I get why people like Domino, sort of.
ebert liked psycho 3
which one was the charlie brown dirtbike one?
knock rad at your peril kemo sabe
ick. they never really learned how to write a feature-length peanuts special, did they.
i’m just happy someone else has SEEN new rose hotel!! so so painful. (i think this came up a long time ago on ilx already)
The only bad thing about Empire Records is Liv Tyler, really. and she’s pretty, so it’s not that bad.
knock rad at your peril kemo sabe
That is the weirdest looking sentence.
If I’m gonna watch a Lori Loughlin movie, it’s gonna be Back to the Beach.
xp; New Rose Hotel is SO BAD. It’s bad in a way most of these movies aren’t: it’s not that it’s lame or a pale echo of an earlier movie or etc., it’s just a straight-up mess by people who’ve shown competence in other movies. And it’s not laugh-out-loud bad like Zardoz, which is actually pretty awesome.
I only saw it last night for the first time, and it was one of those experiences I just wanted to end the entire time I was watching.. like when you’re at work at 3:45PM on a Friday and you just can’t wait for it to be done and over with.
It’s true that I have not seen enough movies, although Empire Records was not worse than The Faculty, so I take back my initial statement.
So I’m guessing the worst Renee Zellweger movie is the one with Chris O’Donnell and Artie Lange, which I have also not seen. But I did see Cold Mountain which I also did not like, and I totally don’t get why she won an Oscar for it, as I was annoyed by almost every scene she was in.
Didn’t she go undercover as a Hasidic Jew or something? (I didn’t see the movie. I would love to be wrong.) I figure that’s probably her worst. It’s all been downhill since Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.
part of why Empire Records is great is that Renee Zellweger is not annoying at all in it. it’s a miracle.
It was so frustrating watching Slater from Dazed and Confused being not Slater.
I especially hated whenever the dude from Can’t Hardly Wait who was in the GWAR video would speak directly into the camera.
but Slater from Dazed and Confused (Rory Cochrane) is adorable in Empire Records!
Yeah wait, Rory Cochrane is the best thing about this movie!
(horseshoe possibly otm re: Zellweger, too. If nothing else, she’s the least annoying female employee in the movie.)
I enjoyed him but kept expecting a “check ya later” or something.
he has RANGE, nick!
She was annoying whenever she spoke into that intercom thingy.
FALSE!
this was one of the biggest sleepover/birthday party movies when i was a youngster. i was never into it but thought it was a critically acclaimed alternative classic until like last year
THAT’S JUST WHAT COOL PEOPLE WERE LIKE IN THE 90s
YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND
# Many of the stars would later go on to appear in Jerry Bruckheimer’s CBS crime dramas. Rory Cochrane would star as Tim Speedle on CSI: Miami, Anthony LaPaglia would star as Jack Malone in Without a Trace and Johnny Whitworth would land a guest appearance on Cold Case and then a recurring role on CSI: Miami, though he made his appearances years after Cochrane had already left the show. Debi Mazar would also guest star on CSI: Miami.
# Robin Tunney’s character has a horizontal suicide-attempt scar on her wrist. In The Craft, her character bears vertical suicide-attempt scars.
# At the time this movie was made, Coyote Shivers was married to Bebe Buell, which made him the step-father of co-star Liv Tyler.
I keep saying that Craig Finn sounds like Coyote Shivers, but no one else will back me on that.
The Sunshine Boys is so the worst movie of all time.
Zellwegger’s big song near the end is pretty awesome.
Zellwegger’s big song near the end is pretty awesome probably my least favorite “rock band” scene of any movie ever made.
I think I watched this movie and Niagara Niagara for the first time in the same week, I was so in love with R-Tun, OMG.
my least favorite “rock band” scene of any movie ever made
Is Coyote Ugly excused because it’s not a band?
no youtube clip for this exchange:
Debra: No visible tattoos.
Gina: No revealing clothing.
Debra: We’re both screwed. At least you’re used to it.
Gina: Now Debra, don’t be bitter. Certainly with your ever growing collection of flesh mutilating silver appendages and your brand new neo-nazi food camp make-over; the boys will come a runnin’
Debra: Let’s not fight, let’s just rip.
“Let’s not fight, let’s just rip” should have been the rallying cry of a generation.
Damn the man.
you know, it’s the delivery of “the boys will come a-runnin’!” that makes me love Zellweger in this movie.
who knew I couldn’t shut up about Empire Records?
My ex saw this movie for the first time a year ago, the day before we split up, and couldn’t for the life of her figure out why the rest of us had been quoting it all the time. She was actually kind of pissed at me, like I had oversold the quotability of “my name’s not fucking Warren.”
I think you need to watch it twice to not find it irritating but the second time it becomes AMAZING. it has its own bad-but-great-movie logic
That’s what I told her, that it was one of those movies that was completely forgettable for me until I realized I was stopping on it whenever it was rerunning on TBS, because the things that work are very rewatchable, especially piecemeal. That doesn’t translate well to a decade-delayed first viewing.
Liv, so hot in this.
yes, but she should never speak.
Tep, I hate Closer too, therefore I declare you right about everything.
also, the ER viewing experience is optimally not end-directed. like, if your ex-gf was watching it to see what happened in the end, she would necessarily be disappointed. it’s an accumulation of great, wtf moments.
it doesn’t make much linear sense even? and has a wildly uneven tone? I remember being horribly confused by the Tunney faux-funeral the first time I saw it.
Yeah, there’s a lot of noise. It’s all ears and tails without actually adding up to an elephant. That’s why it’s well-suited to watching a middle half-hour while waiting for something else to come on, that kind of thing.
I was in college when it came out, had already moved out of the dorms, was about to drop out, etc., which is probably a very different place to be than if I’d been in high school (“let’s not fight, let’s just rip” markered all over my math book!) or my late 20s. I mean, I guess that’s true for any movie, but it seems like it might be more true for this one.
Tep, I hate Closer too, therefore I declare you right about everything.
I’m gonna count this as backing me on the Craig Finn thing. FINALLY.
This is also one of the movies I think about when I think, “You know, I’m not quite 32, it is very possible that any given popular movie I have seen up to this point in my life will be remade in my lifetime.”
I don’t think I really appreciated ER until the first time I saw it stoned. It really is the ultimate stoner movie—it makes more sense if you’re not quite paying full attention to it.
That’s why it’s well-suited to watching a middle half-hour while waiting for something else to come on, that kind of thing.
See also: Rounders, Finding Forrester
Oh man, definitely Rounders. And any quasi-episodic comedy — Blues Brothers, Eurotrip, Dude Where’s My Car, Harold and Kumar, Ferris Bueller, etc.
“Blues Brothers, Eurotrip, Dude Where’s My Car, Harold and Kumar, Ferris Bueller”
wtf all these movies are great! well okay I haven’t seen Eurotrip but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt...
Oh no no, they’re great, I just mean they’re good for watching just a few scenes of them if you happen to see that they’re on while you’re flipping through channels.
they ran this movie on the dorm tv movie channel too many fucking times during sophomore year.
I think you need to watch it twice to not find it irritating but the second time it becomes AMAZING. it has its own bad-but-great-movie logic
This is word for word OTM! I had no use for it after seeing it the first time, but for whatever reason I watched it a second time a year or so later and it turned out to be grebt!
garage days is the worst “rock band” movie of all time. absolutely the worst.