I’ve hit worse.
I thought that WAS you?
No, I shave my pits.
hahahaha
Nice to see Dom’s sister doing well for herself.
Beth Ditto proudly displays her NME Cool trophy:
:( at John “Earthquake” Tenta dying without ever finding out he had a daughter who’d made it as a rocker...
I’m like Jimmy Carr in this bitch. I got jokes dog.
LEX LUGER LILY ALLEN HAS THIS TO SAY ABOUT THE NME COOL LIST
imminent_thread_shark_jump_alert.jpeg
Beth Ditto on internet haters: “Break his back. Fuck his ass. Make him humble”
Can we get race onto this thread somehow?
Come to think of it, Lily Allen & Beth Ditto could be the Owen Hart & Yokozuna tag team of the late-00s!
So...the music writer awards list is kinda white huh?
Oooh, good angle!
Keep up the good work stevem!
So, who voted in these awards then? Number of total votes cast?
Would a picture of The Pixies been funnier than Terror Squad? Help me out here.
Okay I have an AMAZINGLY CHEAP SHOT to make here but that would be possibly the meanest thing I’ve ever done so I will refrain.
phil sent about 2000 txt votes himself
What a crass name.
Okay I have an AMAZINGLY CHEAP SHOT to make here but that would be possibly the meanest thing I’ve ever done so I will refrain.
i had ‘ILX’s Most Wide Music Journalist’ ready but i don’t really go in for the ‘lol fatteys’ thing generally.
No, if you’d have posted that as a joke then we could have done some kinda “Why is it OK for blackfat comedians to say the n-wordgo in for that ”lol fatteys“ thing”, and we could have got it onto race like that! It’s like you don’t want this thread to turn into a bigger clusterfuck than it already is.
LOCK THREAD
I’m doing the best I can under very difficult circumstances.
If anyone criticises your zinging it’s because they’re just jealous that they could never zing as well as you. FACT.
Would a picture of The Pixies been funnier than Terror Squad? Help me out here.
not as funny as this:
I feel a little sick.
Hello and welcome to five posts ago.
for too long British music zingers have been criticised for either not being as good as their American counterparts or for trying to sound too much like them instead of developing their own identity.
One of the good things about being a CARRERIST TROLL (©, Marcello Carlin) is that you can insult anyone in anyway possible and not have your reputation ruined because well...you don’t have one.
Also, do Bizzare pay their writers in porn and lard?
When I interned there i got to take home a bunch of Russ Meyer stuff.
That shit sucks, give me M. Hardcore over that any day.
ihttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/IMG_6177.jpg
I’m a media wanker with an Apple.
Carrerist Troll, indeed.
There goes MY reputation.
Stylus writer current haircut synergy.
RIP ESTEBAN BUTTEZ YOU WERE MY FAVOURITE CAREERIST TROLL
I did the Apple jokes with Pitchfork aaaaaaages ago.
Alexis Petridis – The Guardian
Andy Gill – The Independent
Kitty Empire – The Observer
Pete Paphides – The Times
Simon Price – Independent on
Alexis Petridis
Dan Cairns
Pete Paphides
Sophie Heawood
Stevie Chick
Caspar Llewellyn-Smith – Observer
Music Monthly
Conor McNicolas—NME
Mark Ellen – The Word
Paul Brannigan – Kerrang!
Paul Rees – Q
How many of these people have a Zune?
Let the record stand that the eximious Mr Buttez is not in fact the careerist troll to whom I was hitherto referring with regard to this thread.
They’ll always be that little step ahead. x-post.
what is Kitty Empire’s real name?
Oh, currently I’m meant to be writing this international poker round up. Does anyone have any fun facts about gambling in Scandanavia? Thx.
what is Kitty Empire’s real name?
Kitty Empire-Watts
Do you have any Australian poker stuff? ’Cause I played with some my fatteh friends just the other week.
My brother’s mate Neil went out with Kitty Empire years ago. He was on Real World London. He had the end of his tongue bitten off and became an internet millionaire or something. I think she gave him a pig’s heart in barbed wire for valentines during TRWL cos he was flirting with some preppy Yank girl.
Nah, it’s just focussing on UK/Ireland, Western Europe, and Scandanavia. I’m gonna be profiling Bengt Sonnert!!!!
Not just living the dream but bedding it, wedding it, and shedding it via Atkins.
Bengt Sonnert!!!!!!!
That’s not an international poker round-up and in fact, it sounds a little racialist!
Her real name is Norma Evans.
BENGT SONNERT
How do you even say that out loud? Beng-et? Bent? Bungert?
He looks a lot more like an Exeter Uni film student than I would have guessed.
It’s like Momus and Nick Cave had a kid
Do you think Momus could hack it as a poker pro?
Oh good call.
KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE TABLE, SQUINTY.
i see more comedy is lined up in the NME next week, it’s the NME Albums of the Year issue
They’re gonna throw an “OMG SWERVE” and not give it to the AMs, right?
If only.
Down under, I have to resort to whatever awards Triple J is giving out tomorrow and making “lol wolfmother/jet lol” cracks.
The real “Hmmm” for the NME year ends is whether they give single of the year to “Monster” or “We Are Your Friends”
(No wai, looks like the HILLTOP HOODS are winning the JJJ award.)
And we’re back onto race.
last year:
http://rateyourmusic.com/list/John_K/nme_albums_of_the_year_2005/
this year if they are doing 50 again, how many of these will be selected
stefan’s stat’s
http://pub37.bravenet.com/forum/3172289350/show/664498
THIS LIST IS A MONTHLY UPDATED FEATURE, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HENRIK´S LIST. IT IS CALCULATED
FROM THE SCORES AT ´METACRITIC´,´RATE YOUR MUSIC´,
´FASTNBULBOUS´,´MUSIK EXPRESS´,´SPEX´,´MUSIC BOX´,
´ROBERT CHRISTGAU´,´DUSTED´,´COKEMACHINEGLOW´AND
´SHAKINGTHROUGH´.
THIS IS THE LAST PRELIMINARY LIST FOR THIS YEAR.
NEXT MONTH WILL START THE COUNTDOWN TO THE DEFINITE
BEST 0F 2006 CHART, CALCULATED ON THE BASE OF THE END
OF YEAR CHARTS.
1 ( 1) TV ON THE RADIO ´RETURN TO COOKIE MOUNTAIN´
2 ( 5) JOHNNY CASH ´AMERICAN V—A HUNDRED HIGHWAYS´
3 ( 4) GHOSTFACE KILLAH ´FISHSCALE´
4 ( 2) YEAH YEAH YEAHS ´SHOW YOUR BONES´
5 ( 3) ARCTIC MONKEYS ´WHATEVER PEOPLE SAY...´
6 ( 6) SONIC YOUTH ´RATHER RIPPED´
7 (13) YO LA TENGO ´I AM NOT AFRAID OF...´
8 ( 7) BOB DYLAN ´MODERN TIMES´
9 ( 8) GNARLS BARKLEY ´ST.ELSEWHERE´
10 (95) BEIRUT ´GULAG ORKESTAR´
11 (12) NEKO CASE ´FOX CONFESSOR BRINGS THE FLOOD´
12 ( 9) CAT POWER ´THE GREATEST´
13 (11) FLAMING LIPS ´AT WAR WITH THE MYTICS´
14 (12) THOM YORKE ´THE ERASER´
15 (—) JOANNA NEWSOM ´YS´
16 (42) BONNIE´PRINCE´BILLY ´THE LETTING GO´
17 (23) JUNIOR BOYS ´SO THIS IS GOODBYE´
18 (15) SCOTT WALKER ´THE GIFT´
19 (18) ESPERS ´ESPERS II´
20 (21) HERBERT ´SCALE´
21 (24) NEIL YOUNG ´LIVING WITH WAR´
21 (19) BELLE & SEBASTIAN ´THE LIFE PURSUIT´
23 (20) MOGWAI ´MR.BEAST´
24 (22) GUILLEMOTS ´THROUGH THE WINDOWPANE´
25 (47) GRIZZLY BEAR ´YELLOW HOUDE´
26 (17) JENNY LEWIS & WATSON TWINS ´RABBIT FUR COAT´
27 (16) RACONTEURS ´BROKEN BOY SOLDIER´
28 (26) ROOTS ´GAME THEORY´
29 (29) MISSION OF BURMA ´THE OBLITERATI´
30 (25) COMETS ON FIRE ´AVATAR´
31 (14) HOWE GELB ´SNO ANGEL LIKE YOU´
32 (37) MASTODON ´BLOOD MOUNTAIN´
33 (32) COSTELLO/TOUSSAINT ´THE RIVER IN REVERSE´
34 (27) GRAHAM COXON ´LOVE TRAVELS AT ILLEGAL SPEED´
35 (28) BUILD TO SPILL ´YOU IN REVERSE´
36 (30) RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS ´STADIUM ARCADIUM´
37 (31) MUSE ´BLACK HOLES & REVELATIONS´
38 (—) MY MORNING JACKET ´OKONOKOS´
39 (34) EELS ´WITH STRINGS LIVE AT TOWN HALL´
40 (35) MORRISSEY ´RINGLEADER OF THE TORMENTORS´
41 (33) TWILIGHT SINGERS ´POWDER BURNS´
42 (41) BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN ´WE SHALL OVERCOME´
43 (39) J.DILLA AKA JAY DEE ´DONUTS´
44 (—) JARVIS COCKER ´JARVIS´
45 (43) ISLANDS ´RETURN TO THE SEA´
46 (36) HOT CHIP ´THE WARNING´
47 (46) JOSH RITTER ´THE ANIMAL YEARS´
48 (45) LILY ALLEN ´ALRIGHT, STILL´
48 (49) LAMBCHOP ´DAMAGED´
50 (44) DRESDEN DOLLS ´YES VIRGINIA´
51 (52) M.WARD ´POST-WAR´
52 (58) DESTROYER ´DESTROYER´S RUBIES´
53 (69) KRIS KRISTOFFERSON ´THIS OLD ROAD´
54 (51) SPARKS ´HELLO YOUNG LOVER´
55 (RE) HOLD STEADY ´BOYS AND GIRLS IN AMERICA´
56 (53) SUFJAN STEVENS ´AVALANCHE´
57 (40) CALEXICO ´GARDEN RUIN´
58 (72) SCISSOR SISTERS ´TA DAH´
59 (73) DECEMBERISTS ´THE CRANE´
60 (49) PAUL SIMON ´SURPRISE´
61 (57) LIARS ´DRUM´S NOT DEAD´
62 (61) CAMERA OBSCURA ´LET´S GET OUT OF THIS COUNTY´
63 (54) SLEEPY JACKSON ´PERSONALITY´
64 (84) MIDLAKE ´THE TRIALS OF VAN OCCUPANTHER´
65 (55) PIPETTES ´WE ARE THE PIPETTES´
66 (48) DIRTY PRETTY THING S´WATERLOO TO ANYWHERE´
67 (84) SPARKLEHORSE ´DREAMT FOR LIGHT YEARS´
68 (63) IRON MAIDEN ´A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH´
69 (—) SUBTLE ´FOR HERO : FOR FOOL´
70 (56) ROSANNE CASH ´BLACK CADILLAC´
71 (58) KNIFE ´SILENT SHOUT´
72 (91) JUANA MOLINA ´SON´
73 (60) GRANDADDY ´JUST LIKE THE FMABLY CAT´
74 (67) TOM PETTY ´HIGHWAY COMPANION´
75 (38) APHEX TWIN/AFX ´CHOSEN LORDS´
76 (75) PET SHOP BOYS ´FUNDAMENTAL´
76 (—) LONG BLONDES ´SOMEONE TO DRIVE YOU HOME´
78 (62) SECRET MACHINES ´TEN SILVER DROPS´
79 (98) REGINA SPEKTOR ´BEGIN TO HOPE´
80 (66) STREETS ´HARDEST WAY TO MEKE AN EASY LIFE´
81 (82) PEARL JAM ´PEARL JAM´
82 (65) PHOENIX ´IT´S NEVER BEEN LIKE THAT´
83 (—) DEARS ´GANG OF LOVERS´
84 (68) COUP ´PICK A BIGGER WEAPON´
85 (71) SLAYER ´CHRIST ILLUSION´
86 (—) BECK ´THE INFROMATION´
87 (64) MATMOS ´THE ROSE HAS TEETH IN THE MOUTH´
88 (78) RON SEXSMITH ´TIME BEING´
89 (97) ALI FARKA TOURE ´SAVANE´
90 (79) THERMALS ´THE BODY, THE BLOOD, THE MACHINE´
91 (RE) SCRITTI POLITTI ´WHITE BREAD BLACK BEER´
92 (70) TWO GALLANTS ´WHAT THE TOLL TELLS´
93 (74) DONALD FAGEN ´MORPH THE CAT´
94 (77) DIVINE COMEDY ´VICTORY FOR THE COMIC MUSE´
95 (86) KELLEY STOLTZ ´BELOW THE BRANCHES´
96 (—) MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE ´THE BLACK PARADE´
97 (87) CANDI STATON ´HIS HANDS´
98 (RE) MOUNTAIN GOATS ´GET LONELY´
99 (—) BERT JANSCH ´THE BLACK SWAN´
100 (—) PEACHES ´IMPEACHMY BUSH´
101 (—) CALIFONE ´ROOTS & CROWNS´
102 (88) MARS VOLTA ´AMPUTECHTURE´
103 (91) BETH ORTON ´COMFORT OF STRANGERS´
104 (79) CAMPBELL/LANEGAN ´BALLAD OF THE BROKEN SEAS´
105 (76) SHACK ´THE CORNER OF MILES AND GIL´
106 (—) AND YOU WILL KNOW... ´SO DIVIDED´
107 (93) ONEIDA ´HAPPY NEW YEAR´
108 (94) BE YOUR OWN PET ´BE YOUR OWN PET´
109 (—) LUPE FIASCO ´FOOD & LIQUOR´
110 (—) ASOBI SEKSU ´CITRUS´
Whatever did happen to Tiny Out Of Ultrasound?
— Marcello Carlin (marcellocarlin@ho
Formed ultrasound mk 2 w/a shredder guitarist, played one gig w/this lineup, which sucked harder than a million vaxes and split immediately thereafter, briefly rejoined his old band, sl33py p30pl3 and did guest vox on their last album which I’ve never even seen a copy of (I might actually be playing on one track on it, I have no idea) last I saw was an ad about 5 yrs ago in a n e england music website where he was trying to put together a progressive rock band. Since which time I neither know nor care, tbh.
I’d be cool with them if they came from the Western Suburbs. But Blackwood? There’s never been a black person that has stepped into Blackwood since they killed all the aboriginals!
also announced:
Rough Trade Shops favourite albums of 2006—Based on sales and staff votes
http://www.roughtrade.com/site/chart_detail.lasso?chart_id=2006
(That was the Hilltop Hoods I was talking about.)
I know this blonde cutie that lives in Blackwood through ;-)
I don’t know what’s worse about that Rogue Trade list. “”Right about now. The punk soul sister. Check it out now.“ or Poor Miss Lily Allen at No. 4
Tiny’s Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/tinysiren
Apparently he’s in a band called Siren now (hence the name), but there’s no mp3s on their myspace and their name is near ungooglable.
loflz @ yet another black text on black background myspace page fuckup.
he is actually, as far as I remember, a nice guy.
What is this new Scott Walker album entitled THE GIFT? Two in one year? That’s some work rate!
well spotted, marcello, by the way when does your end of year countdown on Church of Me start?
wrongest thing in the Rough Trade list = Pipettes so high/Knife so low
Sometime next week, depending on how much I can get written up this weekend. Likely to be in batches of ten again though I’m only doing new releases this year.
(DJM xpost)
wrongest thing in the Rough Trade list = Pipettes so high/Knife so low
The Knife won’t possibly might perhaps maybe potentially invite you around to their house to discuss INDIE MUSIC and flash a bit of thigh at you if you buy their album, tho.
I’ve gone off the Pipettes in all respects after that thing on Channel 4 last weekend.
I liked them on the Mark Radcliffe Show.
I didn’t really like their album.
I didn’t see the Channel 4 programme. What was it like?
just another one of those deeply uninsightful ‘here are the Pipettes backstage about to go on / here are the Pipettes in the studio doing some vocals / here are the Pipettes actually on stage performing / here are the Pipettes saying some stuff about what they do then laughing sweetly’ things Channel 4 love to do. nothing that terrible really tho.
yeh but 100 of them would be lex and enrique arguing whther this thread is mysoginist / racist / homophobic / other and another 75 would centre round the question of who is arthur askey.
— acrobat (kowalski9...), November 29th, 2006.
sir!
lex is snippy cos he knows sophie heawood i guess?
but this is temp-ilx dude, you can admit she’s shit here.
BENGT SONNERT
SONNERT BY WITE KID IN AOL BENGT
There is something fairly queasy and faintly misogynistic about the Heawood focus here.
There are other more deserving targets on that list, e.g. Peter “I Always Give Five Stars To My Mates” Paphides.
why to hate greek people?
Crikey matey peeps.
There is something fairly queasy and faintly misogynistic about the Heawood focus here.
dom in being fairly queasy and faintly misogynistic SHOCKAH
“They claim to love Prince, but they are patently not Prince—this seems to be the joke.”
this is a sentence from sophie heawood, in desparate need of defending.
they claim to love snowboarding, but they are patently not snowboarding. wtf.
They claim to love Chinese food, but they are patently not ducks in a variety of tasty spices.
The only good thing about the shortlist is that it doesn’t include Neil I Could Have Been In U2 Throw Those Guns Away NOW McCormack Out Of The Torygraph.
He’s not part of the Greek conspiracy to take over music journalism though, they wouldn’t let him.
‘People I Probably Know Are Trying To Shortlist Me’
last weekend somebody told me some VERY funny stories about mr petridis.
not allowed to share them though :(
although i can say that an irregular ilm poster once stole a tin of beans & a tinopener from alexis’ kitchen.
Which, by coincidence, is exactly what Guardian music contributors get paid per review.
What kind of tinopener?
the best tin opener in britain