a place to put funny things from ILX.
from I am sitting behind ken c and he appears to be ignoring me...
What should I do? He is loosing at scrabble, should I assist?
— Ed, Sunday, 27 May 2007 15:47 (42 minutes ago) Link
if you want him to loose
— RJG, Sunday, 27 May 2007 15:48 (41 minutes ago) Link
Demarcate threads from different days on the new answers page. Note that you’re going to have to make sure you have your timezone set up correctly for this. UK people—don’t be daft—the UK’s timezone is not GMT; it’s only GMT in Winter. Set it up to be Europe/London or something!
— Keith, Sunday, May 27, 2007 2:51 PM (Sunday, May 27, 2007 2:51 PM) Bookmark Link
From Vote for Your Favorite Oink Invite Candidate of 2007!
o—arthurthecrab (“What is rockism? It. Is. Knowing. When. Something. Totally. Fucking. Rocks!”)
courtesy j monster
From Awkward Graffiti
lol someone i knew long ago spraypainted “huker du” on a prominent public wall.
— estela, Sunday, 3 June 2007
yeah it is
From L O S T anticipation thread:
When will I be able to buy actual 6-packs of Dharma beer instead of draping a napkin with a hand-drawn Dharma symbol over a can of Keystone Ice? That’s what I want to know.
...
— nickalicious, Wednesday, 6 June 2007
(i <3 nickalicious.)
Can’t spell “test” without S-T-E-T.
— Pleasant Plains, Thursday, June 7, 2007 5:35 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link
If ILX is China, IRE is defiant young Taiwan, pulsing with life and industry.
Confounded, Tuesday, 12 June 2007 20:09 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link
5 point plan for minimal house takeover
1. covert elements add to gui boratto to urban outfitters playlist
2. advance scouts philip sherburne and ronan fitzgerald secure strategic positions at MTV urge
3. shock + awe: villalobos remixes matisyahu
4. german elements consolidate position with speicher 54: tiesto / darude split
5. fabric teams with hard rock cafe to open locations in las vegas, hollywood, atlantic city and daytona beach offering minimal house DJs and $75 table service.
— moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, June 13, 2007 12:22 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link
as long as the course organisers don’t spring anything on us
i read ‘course organizers’ as ‘croquet course organizers’. haha, it’s a wacky course but not a reason not to come!
Hotmail Lingbert plz to enter 21st century.
— jergïns, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:55
grits are a coarse corn meal, cooked with water like cream of wheat or oatmeal, into a pasty white sludge that is delicious when you add butter, salt, pepper, cheese, whatever you want. big in the southern us.
— tehresa, Thursday, 14 June 2007 22:58 (3 days ago) Link
add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter add butter
— jergïns, Thursday, 14 June 2007 23:26 (3 days ago) Link
^reason 156 why i <3 jergins
sodomy beef
— gershy, Monday, June 18, 2007 7:14 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link
from http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=54&threadid=654#unread
rodman,
?
— am0n, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 02:45 (4 hours ago) Link
am0n,
love!
rodman
— rodman, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 04:08 (3 hours ago) Link
don’t care that i was the one that posted it. selvam is rad:
my night shift are make love and sleep.
my night shift are make love and sleep.
my night shift are make love and sleep.
whenever we go out
people always shout
John Fuckdick Roffleheimer Smith
— jergïns, Friday, June 22, 2007 12:25 PM (Friday, June 22, 2007 12:25 PM) Bookmark Link
v of legs = light
asshole = regular
over ears = Friday
— Jaq, Friday, June 22, 2007 10:57 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
OH, THAT IS VV RUDE!
hahahahahahahahahaha!
from a poll thread:
where is “all of them” option?
— lex pretend, Friday, 22 June 2007 08:24 (2 days ago) Link
oops.
here:
O all of them
— StanM, Friday, 22 June 2007 08:26 (2 days ago) Link
I am so dumb I tried to click this. And I don’t even want to vote for them all.
— Ned Trifle II, Friday, 22 June 2007 08:40 (2 days ago) Link
from why do i stalk ex girlfriend :(
the future of socializing is complicated and retarded
— am0n, Monday, 25 June 2007 19:24 (Yesterday) Link
what happens when bleaching powder is exposed to air ?
— shanya sambyal, Sunday, July 2, 2006 5:46 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
Ban User User Info
boom! in yer face beach
— XD (eman), Sunday, July 2, 2006 6:46 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
NEIFI PEREZ SUSPENDED 25 GAMES FOR BANNED SUBSTANCE
It’s true. I heard it on the radio.
— Andy K, Friday, July 6, 2007 7:56 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link
Posters are coming down across the country.
How to explain this to my son?
— Andy K, Friday, July 6, 2007 7:57 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link
i am so scared of swearing at work, when i go on lunch breaks i’m like a tourette’s sufferer!
— tehresa, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 23:46
what, u won the america’s cup and now you’re too good to post here??
— jergins, Saturday, 7 July 2007 02:37
cio lime Skittle being temporarily replaced by “green slushy” flavor
— Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 28 June 2007 03:04 (1 week ago) Link
the saddest cio of all
— sleep, Thursday, 28 June 2007 03:08 (1 week ago) Link
(yes, it is both funny and sad.)
magnetic cockring = not only it is already invented but the market seems to be saturated. so right now I got nothing :(
— Sébastien, Tuesday, 10 July 2007 14:35 (2 hours ago) Link
i think everyone needs to take their standards down a couple notches
take note, ladies
— strongohulkington, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 2:24 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
it’s better to look good than to go 4 for 4
— jergïns, Monday, 16 July 2007 04:17 (2 hours ago) Link
OTM
you’re like totally a chick... right?
thats when the rules change.
— chaki, Sunday, 22 July 2007 10:10 (Yesterday) Link
damn, “daisy” was a pretty bad one
— Confounded, Monday, 23 July 2007 18:40 (4 hours ago) Link
Even I refuse to drink anything called “Unicum”.
— John Justen, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 16:16 (Yesterday) Link
lolo
from john justen and fluffy bear will drink it, regarding some milk drink:
I feel like my throat is wearing wool socks.
— John Justen, Thursday, July 26, 2007 6:45 PM (13 seconds ago) Bookmark Link
that’s all you got? i’m kind of disappointed.
— chicago kevin, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 9:59 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info
KEVASS
— Lingbert, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 10:09 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link
I take you out to the finest resturant
Buy you any damn thing that you want
You want flowers, I’ll buy your ass a rose
But later on your coming out them pantie hose
You want gold, girl whats next
It’s me and you, doing the sex
— jergïns, Monday, 30 July 2007 07:54 (7 hours ago) Link
it is a complex relationship with IRE, but sweet
from Heckles that you have known and loved
I always loved the stupidity of the “U-S-A” chants when the Red Wings would put out their line of Kozlov, Federov, Larionov, Konstaniov, et al.
— bnw (bnw), Monday, 10 May 2004 19:56 (3 years ago) Link
regarding a closed-down strip club in mpls:
I am sure the lovely ladies of Buns & Roses have all finished their MBAs by now, anyway.
— HI DERE, Thursday, 2 August 2007 21:10 (1 hour ago) Link
ha!
— chaki, Friday, 3 August 2007 08:14 (11 hours ago) Link
i just blew on the screen
— jergïns, Friday, 3 August 2007 18:13 (1 hour ago) Link
tmi
— gr8080, Friday, 3 August 2007 18:49 (50 minutes ago) Link
lols
— jergïns, Friday, 3 August 2007 19:01 (38 minutes ago) Link
I arm-wrestled Lady Sov and M.I.A. within two weeks of each other in December 2005, the first after her Empty Bottle show in Chicago and the second at a Pitchfork-related party that Diplo was DJing. Although technically, Lady Sov kind of laughed it off and didn’t really go through with it, whereas M.I.A. totally beat me.
— jaymc, Thursday, 16 August 2007 17:56 (Yesterday) Link
lxy i wud never b heavening with you bcuz u r my friend jergin’s wife secretary.
— Heave Ho, Wednesday, July 11, 2007 1:53 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link
— gr8080, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 21:29 (2 days ago) Link
mind fixing a spelling error in a thread title for me?
i’m seeing wu-tand on Sep 1st—how many members will actually show up?
thanks.
— gr8080, Friday, 17 August 2007 18:49 (1 week ago) Link
Heh. You daft sod. I fixed it.
— Pashmina, Friday, 17 August 2007 21:44 (1 week ago) Link
<3 Pashmina.
recently, a drunken customer made a direct comment about my “nice tits” and then asked me if i minded/thought anyone would notice, if he had a wank under the table. to which i replied with something like “that’s fine, and long as you don’t mind me adding $100 to your bill”.
— Rubyredd, Thursday, 23 August 2007 13:47 (49 minutes ago) Link
jon had his birthday at applebees already?!
— and what, Thursday, 23 August 2007 13:50 (47 minutes ago) Link
— sanskrit, Thursday, August 23, 2007 7:51 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link
do you consider yourself normal karachi folk?
— gr8080, Monday, 27 August 2007 23:34 (Yesterday) Link
yup
— Heave Ho, Monday, 27 August 2007 23:34 (Yesterday) Link
we need a bummers thread then
— jergïns, Monday, 27 August 2007 23:46 (Yesterday) Link
There should be [a board] called “I’d Love to Understand Cricket”.
— Jaq, Thursday, August 30, 2007 4:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
I’m considering wearing my lavender crocs w/smartwool sox—if you are going to hate on me, plz be creative about it :D
— Jaq, Saturday, 1 September 2007 16:06 (1 hour ago) Link
in my first year at university i recieved a handjob to air bud 2: golden reciever
— creme1, Thursday, April 26, 2007 3:52 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Link
— Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 17:23 (1 hour ago) Link
from noise board faq
I’m totally gay for my tivo right now.
— forksclovetofu, Sunday, 9 September 2007 21:03 (2 hours ago) Link
the discussion is annoying but this comment is LOL:
i think this just does not look good on a tall person. tiny japanese girls can pull it off not because it is any less hideous but because there is just LESS of it. it’s like putting a sailor outfit on a kitten.
— bell_labs, Tuesday, 18 September 2007 19:02 (36 minutes ago) Link
everyone is being a million year old homo right now
— the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 20 September 2007 02:57 (2 hours ago) Link
and then there was the follow-up:
did you just call me the Highlander?
— El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 September 2007 03:00 (2 hours ago) Link
Dear me! Do you think my valet handles anything but my wardrobe?
— Michael White, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 7:37 AM (Tuesday, September 25, 2007 7:37 AM) Bookmark Link
According to graffiti, yes.
— Matt, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 8:21 AM (Tuesday, September 25, 2007 8:21 AM) Bookmark Link
from the BAN MAX R thread
just you wait tho pretty soon there will be a “John Justen r” and you’ll see how im feeling
— max, Friday, 28 September 2007 00:14 (Yesterday) Link
“fuck the atf, i want to show everyone the colors of apples in a mixed-media piece”
— max, Friday, 28 September 2007 00:46 (Yesterday) Link
i <3 max
after he posted a picture on the wdyyl, couldn’t see it, and posted it again:
aw, for fuck’s sake. how did that happen? tits.
twice the value, or something.
— grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 September 2007 21:06 (7 minutes ago) Link
i don’t drink coffee anymore. is there a such thing as a timed bacon cooker?
— bell_labs, Monday, 1 October 2007 14:48 (Yesterday) Link
come to the dark side gradski
— Scott Spezio, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 04:03 (11 hours ago) Link
ILX 2
You have been barred from ILX.
Return to Front Page.
^guilt by association
funny assed shit. thanx sanskrit my first ban
Boston sucks, dudes.
— HI DERE, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:15 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link
so move, dickwipe
— Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:22 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link
a smudge on my screen made it look like that said “dickwipé”
— max, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:22 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link
and i thought “how cultured”
— max, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 12:23 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link
haha!
the highest of fives to you good sir
— Lingbert, Monday, 16 July 2007 06:03 (2 months ago) Link
soccer:
Lampard’s mum probly boos him when he goes round to see her.
— Noodle Vague, Saturday, 13 October 2007 17:12 (16 minutes ago) Link
i like “the final lolution”, mainly because some ilxor is bound to get angry about it, which can only guarantee more lols, like a perpetual loling machine.
— John Justen, Friday, 12 October 2007 22:56 (Yesterday) Link
———————————————————————————
a self clowning oven
— omar little, Friday, 12 October 2007 22:57 (Yesterday) Link
i once went on an internet date with someone who sent me a photo of a girl who looked like lucy liu and when i picked her up she looked like a short, squat javier bardem.
— omar little, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 11:43 AM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
and i love javier bardem but come on now
— omar little, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 11:43 AM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
HOOS have you ever caught people having sex in a public area? I did once, but i just pretended like i didn’t see them.
— gr8080, Monday, 22 October 2007 04:11 (1 hour ago) Link
also, i didn’t start a thread about it.
— gr8080, Monday, 22 October 2007 04:12 (1 hour ago) Link
Spunky Canyon is near my school. It may be due East of Chuck E. Cheese and Circuit City. At least, so the legend goes.
— admrl, Monday, 22 October 2007 16:53 (14 minutes ago) Link
I was once tricked into putting my hand over my heart to Chad Kroger’s “Hero” at a motorcycle competition.
— Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 15:19 (7 minutes ago) Link
19. joined a mormon scout troop because i kept getting the shit kicked out of me in the catholic one. kids kept calling me a fag. i asked my mom what a fag was, and she told me it was something that started fires. next time kids called me a fag, i agreed. i started fires. not only that: i told them i was probably a better fag than them.
two weeks later the mormon scout leader tried to kick me out of the troop, thinking i was a nascent homosexual, but one of the troop moms came to bat for me, and argued that i wasn’t beyond help if i hadn’t “done” anything yet. then the leaders all had a round table with me and talked about being gay. i wasn’t used to any attention, and i liked being chatted with. i was twelve, kind of naive, and rather than admit i was just wrong about what ‘fag’ meant i played off as being gay — still not knowing exactly what it meant — for most of the next year. i took it as a badge of my individuality.
— remy bean, Thursday, 25 October 2007 21:27 (12 minutes ago) Link
header bar on ILX:
ILX will be out of action for a while later tonight (BST). The database needs refilled with zings.
sandbox still zingin’ while ilx sits
ha, this is why you’re the first post after I brought it back up!
i saw him on a spanish mountain side but i wasnt sure whether his name was pronounced eye-el-ex or illx or whatever so i just yelled out AUTOMATIC THREAD BUMP. THIS POLL IS CLOSING TOMORROW!!!!
— jhøshea, Monday, October 29, 2007 10:15 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link
YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY HELPED JUST BY HELPING I WILL CHECK AND LET YOU KNOW
YES YOU DID
— John Justen, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 21:30 (Yesterday) Link
blah blah blah Seattle blah blah blah Sonic chili cheese dog and tots nom nom nom blah blah blah cast iron pan blah blah blah esoteric engineering energy blah blah blah baking soda xylitol floss your teeth blah blah blah
— Jaq, Friday, November 9, 2007 1:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
from i love hoops:
I PREDICT THAT JHØSHEA IS THE BIGGEST HOMER ON THIS BOARD AND THAT IS SAYING A LOT
— Dimension 5ive, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 14:51 (3 hours ago) Link
———————————————————————————
thats more of an observation really
— jhøshea, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 15:20 (2 hours ago) Link
mn winter is sort of like 30 days of night except i’m the vampire and booze is the townspeople.
— John Justen, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 9:45 AM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
I <3 JOHN JUSTEN
and then, on christmas day, a trip to lewisburg PA to spend two hours sitting in a room that looks like the dmv and smells like microwave popcorn.
— bell_labs, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 11:02 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
I have the worst driver’s license, it’s from when I weighed 190 lbs. and was high all the time – I figured if I was stoned for the DL picture cops who might pull me over would think I looked that way just naturally. It is embarrassing.
— Abbott, Thursday, 1 November 2007 00:29 (2 weeks ago) Link
if i was abbotts bf i would be like ‘yo baby get off the computer and lets make out’
— chaki, Monday, November 19, 2007 11:45 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link
I always have to turn off my swears when talking to my family, and I end up saying very...uh...LJ-ish things? Phrases that aren’t often spoken
“What a bunch of shit” —> “that’s horribly rotten.”
“Fuck that” —> “I really don’t appreciate that.” “That is totally foolish,” etc
— Abbott, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 19:47 (3 minutes ago) Link
I think it as licksy, like a good lollipop.
— stet, Sunday, December 9, 2007 10:52 PM (Sunday, December 9, 2007 10:52 PM) Bookmark Link
i <3 stet. again. always.
more nips less lips
— jergïns, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 17:47 (39 minutes ago) Link
the My favorite Thanksgiving photo is still making me laugh so much.
i need to do this at work, for real. i’ve been great about regular bed times, relatively healthy eating, and frequent exercise, but my internet vs. working time at my desk is a problem.
— Jordan, Tuesday, December 18, 2007 4:00 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link
i’m not going to ask any of you people for tips because you’ve obviously lost the battle already
— Jordan, Tuesday, December 18, 2007 4:01 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link
Up there searching Jesus’s Flickr account in heaven, now.
— Dom Passantino, Sunday, December 23, 2007 2:21 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
give sample pape3r og gujarat board scince all subject
— konark, Tuesday, February 6, 2007 3:37 AM (10 months ago) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info
i want to give you a sample spanking, you silly sailor.
— A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Tuesday, February 6, 2007 11:15 AM (10 months ago) Bookmark Link
Q. What’s the hardest part of learning to roller-blade?
A. Telling your parents that you’re gay.
— jim, Thursday, December 27, 2007 1:35 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link