maybe he was expecting a hearse
he reminded me of Laotian villagers that had never seen anything bigger than a tricked-out tuk tuk
i took my coat to the dry cleaners today. the girl asked what the stain was from. i said i didn’t know.
wouldn’t you hate that part of the job, asking after stains?
it was the kind of thing where i could think of a dozen ‘funny’ rejoinders after, but was glad to mumble that i didn’t know.
“semen and mustard obviously”
“i know it is very human-like because children cry when it makes angry face.”
adam yamaguchi, the asian-american version of aj benza <3<3 he can be my host any time
push my cheek
a midget in a tuxedo just asked me for BofA’s 800 number!
i happen to have that handy:
800–442–6680
so did yahoo answers thank u very much
my life’s kind of funny when it’s not sucking shit
“excuse my breach”
you didn’t know where to put it because you couldn’t find any threads, huh
i know where to put this because it’s the first thread
a homeless man that had drunk a bottle of aftershave just hugged me
love this one:
cool pix
the wiki’s worth reading. looove islands i’ve never heard of.
what a bizarre-looking place. the amazing things you discover via The latest 50 images posted to Live Journal. this was the pic that sucked me in:
“The chief products of the island are dates, ghee, tobacco, and fish.”
PURE COW GHEE
i wonder if that goat’s gonna faint.
porch q&a:
at what point does gasoline freeze?
internet:
Roughly -120 F I say roughly because there are different factors at play, for instance the alcohol content, the content of paraffins, the content of water, leaded, unleaded, octane blah—all have a bearing on the answer.
lxy:
we’ll freeze before the gas
lol @/with my sister:
how much did you get from the divorce?
“ten thousand. it worked out to 26 dollars a day. not worth it!”
can’t believe this dumb ho wants to be an accountant. 26$ a day would = just over a year. girl was married 2+ years.
well if she can turn 10 thousand into 20 thousand just like that, maybe i want her as my accountant
sometimes i think i need a work story thread and then i remember it’s better to keep it here on the quiet:
one stagehand hit on another stagehand’s 14 year old daughter last night.
today the stagehand dad headbutted and sent to the hospital the lecherous stagehand, all upstage left, a half hour before the show.
holy fucking shit
i know right!
you weren’t there: dammit! OR thank the lord! ?
!!! definitely both i would think.
i wasn’t there. 2nd hand story.
also someone was veeeeeeeeery drunk backstage last night and then his mom (age 70?) showed up and cussed him out in front of his whole family.
lol!
update:
headbutter—fired
headbuttee—in hospital
wow your work is crazy. my work story is way less funny/interesting:
so this girl i work(ed) with sometimes, who is a ‘gender studies’ grad student and likes to use the words ‘commnicate’ and ‘communication’ as often as possible, always stressing the importance of both, and yet somehow managing to be the most inarticulate person i’ve met (see: a 10 minute voicemail just to tell me i’m working saturday), has just resigned. she is annoying as fuck and i have bitched about her constantly since beginning this job; i find her patronising, boring, self righteous etc etc. but now i got this email today:
I also wanted to let you know, that it has been so great getting to know you. You are a terrific person, and I don’t think work would have been quite as enjoyable if it wasn’t for working alongside you. Good luck with all your future endeavors. I really hope that we can stay in touch. Take care, and I wish you and Jordan happy holidays.
i really hope we don’t stay in touch.
goodness, i am kind of a bitch, aren’t i??
haha no
that’s the kind of stuff that always happens to me: warm feelings on their side, seething hatred barely contained on mine
for the bored among you, you’re probably already reading this thread, but it is a wonder:
yeah xp same here. maybe i have gotten better in the past few years but i get those kinds of special messages from people once in a while and i’m thinking “but i think you’re awful!” and then i feel guilty but it’s probably normal
sandbox unity
it makes me never want to sit in a movie theater
yeah... then i start thinking: ‘do ppl feel this way about ME—ppl i like who secretly hate ME??’ :(
is normal ilx broken right now?
no
seriously, i’ve wondered about the that too, people who are acting nice but secretly hate me. but why would they hate me? what’s to hate?
anyway, i try not to be too nice to people i figure i’ll never see again.
fuck people who don’t like me. probably i hated them before they hated me.
people who might secretly hate me = dirt off my shoulder
i mean i say that but secretly i have deathly social anxiety and hate it when people dont like me
not actually that secret btw
i try to have same attitude, i.e who cares if someone doesn’t like me? but easier said than done. altho if i don’t like someone i don’t really give a shit if they don’t like me either.
this is the second time in two days that i’ve trouble loading reg. ilx. hmmm.
i am even sometimes afraid that people who obviously like me are just pretending! like i unconsciously think that everyone else loves to go out of their way to pretend they like people they hate. that’s totally unreasonable lol. but i don’t care about people that clearly don’t like me, they can eat dicks
i don’t know where to put this so i’m putting it here
i don’t think i’ve dreaded an intermission as much as the one that’s about to start
it’s one of those nights
more headbutting about to happen?
:(
we shall see...
you’ll be okay. just watch out for brontosaurus!
when my intuition tingles it TINGLES
like not even able to sit down and there’s always a motherfucking reason
two of the drunkest people i’ve ever seen at a show, out in the lobby drinking doubles, hollering and dancing
thankfully they didn’t want back in the show, just left, situation avoided whew
i also had a backstage tour no one told me about but that was no biggie
were they drunk dancing ballet
for the bored among you, you’re probably already reading this thread, but it is a wonder:
What’s the farthest you’ve ever gone in a movie theater?
― jergins, Sunday, December 28, 2008 1:27 AM (4 hours ago
this always sounded appealing to me
wanna go see the new james bond tomorrow?
from Hurlstone Jackson’s Celtic Miscellany a translation of a Gaelic incantation to accompany the plucking of yarrow:
“I will pick the smooth yarrow that my figure may be more elegant, that my lips may be warmer, that my voice may be more cheerful; may my voice be like a sunbeam, may my lips be like the juice of the strawberries. May I be an island in the sea, may I be a hill on the land, may I be a star when the moon wanes, may I be a staff to the weak one: I shall wound every man, no man shall would me.”
how jelky got his groove back
“it’s quite a tribute to a person if they sound shrill even with mute on”
oh hey this is really interesting
time to fix odometer!
i hate married people
sometimes i think all they have to offer are unwanted evites and the refraction of their hatred of their husbands
seriously what the fuck is up with marrieds and evites?
also i have severe cases of both earworm and tetris effect.
if it makes you feel any better, the center house is reeeally depresssing
also, earworm not nearly as gross as one might imagine!
i trusted you not to link to something that would be as gross as that link might lead one to think. if anyone else had posted it i wouldn’t have clicked!
i don’t see a ‘snippets of conversations you have overheard’ thread so i am putting this here:
closing up the store, i see girl walking by talking on mobile
“oh yeah totally okay then TTYS!!”
ppl really say tee-tee-why-ess IRL??
explain to me the marrieds/evites thing... married people always stay at home?
haha nothing to explain really, i was annoyed with a married co-worker that day and took my frustrations out on the internet. (the idea was that the things married people can offer are mostly useless to me)
will keep that in mind in a year’s time, jergz
k
oh btw here ruby though this thread is great for them too
thank u! <3
jergins i feel u re: marrieds
i don’t know where to put my feelings so i put them here
― jergins, Friday, August 1, 2008 11:56 PM
can i tell u how awesome it is that when i search for my real last name this comes up
