The same as ever. Except for I’ve turned Shimura Curves into the Hawkwind tribute band of my dreams, and, err, I have a slightly different pointy-nosed crush object.

Should I stop squatting in Syd Barrett’s house then?

Who is this object o’ lust now?

Dude, there are about a dozen pictures of him and about eight thousand references to him on this thread already! I’m sure everyone else is as sick of this crush as I am thrilled by it.

good stuff, I am sure there are lots of young people out there who have never heard Hawkwind.

oops I typed ‘hawkweed’ first; that’d be a Hawkwind tribute band who did the songs in the style of the Wurzels or summat...

i know, i know, but i thought i’d keep the conversation flowin’

(i’m actually masking my tragic lack of interesting conversation by making people go over their old ones)

xpost

Actually, there hasn’t been a photo of him in a while, so I may take this oppportunity to explain, and like, post another one:

(Yes, that means there is one free jazz post going spare, Kerr.)

x-post ha ha, HAWKWEED!!! This is what Hawklords smoke, surely.

no! you can get kicked out of hawkwind for taking drugs!

No, you get kicked out of Hawkwind for getting caught at the border with drugs.

A FINE LINE

that’d be a Hawkwind tribute band who did the songs in the style of the Wurzels or summat...

Actually, if we could get FMM to play her fiddle and Sande to play her ukelele and Ed on mandolin and me on (broken) autoharp, we might just be approximating this...

Anyway, look at that pointy little nose and those lovely twinkly deep set eyes. Hottttness.

Arses! I’ve just realised I have theatre tickets booked on that credit card! What happens now? I don’t have the card, it’s cut up! And one of the concerts I’ve bought tickets for is one of those ones with a machine where you put your card in. What happens there? And I wanted to buy the new Arcade Fire.

This is all most inconvenient. Only a large dose of Paul Bettany can solve this problem.

Isn’t there an office at the theatre where you can show the pieces of the cut up card, and explain what happened?

Hrrrmmm, your search: “Paul Bettany” Tweed Utility Suit returned no documents. Please narrow your search terms.

Bah.

I don’t think smoking hawkweed would do you much good!!!

This is hawkweed:

Sorry, Trish, this will have to do:

Sigh. All problems go away.

I remember having a conversation at uni when someone swore blind that there were no words in English with the letter combination ‘wkw’ except ‘awkward’ and its derivatives. I said “what about that band, Hawkwind?” Then a few days later I found out abt hawkweed, which, I am sure, Hawkweed are named after, if only subconsciously.

Dammit, that was supposed to be Alex James + Damien Hirst x Jared Harris = Julian Barratt but I forgot about the stupid 2 image limit.

Well, at least it let me find a better picture of Harris during his mustache period:

that *is* a stupid limit.

from Wikipedia

Hawkweed is a slang name taken from folklore which says that hawks would chew on the plant to improve their eyesight.

aw, those folkies!

The confluence of hotttttttnes now makes me unable to navigate away from this page!

Is there a Sandbox London Gigging thread? Can’t find on search...

I’m going to see the Epoxies and Riot Squad tonight—bit of an odd pairing—new wave pop with support from old school UK82 hardcore punk band!

ARgh! My boss just cancelled our meeting so now I have to find something to do for the rest of the afternoon, and the only things I have left are horrible.

also, I bought super dark chocolate to bring to work for lunch this week, and forgot to bring it to work, bah.

However, on the upside, Julian B fellates a Lollie:

Which lollie?

May see a few of yis later, I’m about to explode from Barbican-related stress. All will be explained, you’ll see.

Um, no. I was googling for a picture of the actual Lollies to be photoshopped filthily into said picture, and came across an utterly terrible terrible BBC review I’d never read before. At the time, it would have really upset me, but now it’s almost comical how utterly the reviewer failed to get the point:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/music/2002/11/04/taste.shtml

Nice picture, though:

Someone please photoshop my head into the mouth of... NO WAIT, I DID NOT SAY THAT...

Wait, yes I did.

Wow, a supreme lack of fact checking there.

Hang on, I didn’t even notice the lack of fact checking there! Hah! that makes it somehow even funnier.

xpost—I think I’ve seen that picture before? “Two Americans and a Canadian” surely designed to produce a 20-foot sphere of destruction around you.

Bizarrely I came up with Jonestown Mascara myself the other day, or at least I thought I did.

No wait, I’m thinking of the St. Valentine’s Day Mascara. Also I would like to withdraw my claim.

An error of that magnitude is too ridiculous to get upset about. It is simply wrong, and that makes me laugh.

The thing that is most WTF is “ooh, this is The Lollies take on what is amusing to a British audience” thing which is patently absurd. Like he was reviewing us as a comedy routine, rather than a record.

Uh, no. It was so clearly our take on what was amusing to *us*.

But bah, it does bring back some issues which are still relevant—how do you write songs which people think are funny, without being seen as a Comedy Band. I don’t even think I have a sense of humour, I just write these songs with a knee-jerk response of piss-taking to things that are hurting me. It’s not like I’m trying to be funny. But then people pick up on that, and not the actual emotional content of the song.

God, I wish I’d never written or recorded Office Romance. Why is it the biggest pisstake is the thing that everyone remembers? Sigh.

Oh, I don’t understand this humour thing. I give up.

I’m going to put my headphones on, listen to some Hawkwind and do some maths.

This confuses me, y’see, coz I’ve never heard Taste. Although I really like Bang Bang Bang Loookout Lookout Lookout. I think anyone (yes even you, Mr Eejit Reviewer) wd be able to indentify with Dayjob Nightmare, regardless of whether they’ve ever been in a band or not.

K just said something wonderful re: the future: “One just needs to know what to wish for.”

I know exactly what to wish for! I just know I’m not going to get it.

Hrmmm, I have just been handed a glass of champagne to celebrate my colleague passing some accountancy exam. Hurrah!

K just said something wonderful re: the future: “One just needs to know what to wish for.”

Hello moon on stick

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

(xpost)

Nah, I like it because it implies that we very often don’t know (in the present) what is best for us to wish for. Knowing what to wish for isn’t a matter of knowing what you want. Knowing what to wish for is like predicting the future.

No no no, I am going out for drinks in Shoreditch after work and don’t want to be drunk before I get there. x-post

Mmmmm...

Tissp is having a chug on the watercooler?

God, I want sideburns. Why can’t I grow facial hair? It just isn’t fair!

Oh that’s right, I’m a gurl. :-(

I think next time you see the shrink you should demand medication with the side effect: sideburns.

I offered to send you my cast-offs before, Kate!

God, I want sideburns. Why can’t I grow facial hair?

Because Ned is God.

But what if they prompted indiscriminate facial hair growth and I grew a MOUSTACHE!?!? This is much more likely in females under the influence of hormonally unbalancing medication.

But then I might actually grow eyebrows, which would be kinda cool.

x-post ha ha ha

One more, OK?

Awww, just look at the pasty whiteness of his legs. So pale his skin is actually glowing. CUET.

OK, that’s a lot of free jazz posts going spare now. I’m kind of disappointed in you, Kerr, for not taking them up.

Can I claim those posts and play you ‘song X’ tomorrow?

ARGH ARGH ARGH YOU MEAN ACTUALLY MAKE ME *LISTEN* TO JAZZ?!?!?

::stuffs fists in ears::

One song. And it has to be under eight minutes. And I have to be allowed to look at pictures while it plays.

Actually, Jazz is great.

That’s just your beard talking, TISSP!

Don’t worry Kate, Just collecting the free* Jazz posts for one big discussion with the others about Blue Note and other labels.

* Not ltd to Free Jazz.

Ahahaha

xpost

Kate you really should download that Mingus album I sent you. It’s great!

Actually i’m using up one of my free posts

The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady is one of the greatest achievements in orchestration by any composer in jazz history. Charles Mingus consciously designed the six-part ballet as his magnum opus, and — implied in his famous inclusion of liner notes by his psychologist — it’s as much an examination of his own tortured psyche as it is a conceptual piece about love and struggle. It veers between so many emotions that it defies easy encapsulation; for that matter, it can be difficult just to assimilate in the first place. Yet the work soon reveals itself as a masterpiece of rich, multi-layered texture and swirling tonal colors, manipulated with a painter’s attention to detail. There are a few stylistic reference points — Ellington, the contemporary avant-garde, several flamenco guitar breaks — but the totality is quite unlike what came before it. Mingus relies heavily on the timbral contrasts between expressively vocal-like muted brass, a rumbling mass of low voices (including tuba and baritone sax), and achingly lyrical upper woodwinds, highlighted by altoist Charlie Mariano. Within that framework, Mingus plays shifting rhythms, moaning dissonances, and multiple lines off one another in the most complex, interlaced fashion he’d ever attempted. Mingus was sometimes pigeonholed as a firebrand, but the personal exorcism of Black Saint deserves the reputation — one needn’t be able to follow the story line to hear the suffering, mourning, frustration, and caged fury pouring out of the music. The 11-piece group rehearsed the original score during a Village Vanguard engagement, where Mingus allowed the players to mold the music further; in the studio, however, his exacting perfectionism made The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady the first jazz album to rely on overdubbing technology. The result is one of the high-water marks for avant-garde jazz in the ’60s and arguably Mingus’ most brilliant moment.

How could anyone not want to hear that?! It’s one of the greatest albums of all time!

Kerr is clearly in the Jazz Trance and wants a slap...

I’ve played kate the best mingus recording of all time (‘better get hit in your soul’ live at antibes) and some of the most accessible coltrane (‘My Favourite things’ from New Thing at Newport). It did not work. couldn’t get past a very minimal amount of brushwork on the drums.

What about Miles’ “Down on the Corner”?

Norman’s checking it out!

x-post

(Richie once quit a band because they asked him to use brushes!) xxpost

Black Saint And Sinner lady is very accessible to my ears!

I might try Kate on Paul Horne ‘Inisde the taj mahal’ more improv than jazz but might be up the right alley.

ACK ACK ACK, IT WAS ‘ORRIBLE!!! IT WAS ALL TISH-TAH-TISH THE BLOODY RIDE CYMBAL, KILL KILL KILL!!!

The hatred of jazz is a lifelong thing. I can go through any contortions to avoid listening to jazz. Kind of like playing the “Avoid The Turner” game at the Tate Britain.

I can remember actually having a quite heated discussion with an ex boyfriend who caught me listening to Benny Goodman or someone trying to convince him that that was Not Jazz, it was Swing. Swing is OK. Glenn Miller and all that. Jazz is Evil.

OK, ha-HAH!!! You have used up all your free jazz posts in this disucssion now!

There can be no more jazz without pictures of Julian Barratt! Ha ha!

(And I might not even have to listen to this jazz nonsense tomorrow unless Ed comes up with some more Julian B fast!)

Maybe some NoCal freak jazz like the pharoahs.

best mingus is surely let my children hear music

NO MORE JAZZ WITHOUT JULIAN PHOTOS!!! THAT’S IT!

I’M WARNING YOU, LYNCH-BELL!!!

(I may have had too much champagne and am feeling quite silly already.)

I am seeing everyone’s last.fm tick up black saint.

Aww, look, so YOUNG!

pssst, ed, Play her some Pharaoh Sanders or Archie Shepp!

If I’m going to get one go, it kind of has to be ornette coleman.

OMIGOD, TEH HOTTTTTTNES!!!

As you were, talk about jazz all you like. How did Dave Brubeck’s experimentation with alternate time signatures like Take Five affect the prog rock movement, and all that.

I love the way his eyes just kind of crunch up to almost nothing when he smiles, so all you can see is this little twinkle. And he’s got such cute teeth.

I hope one day that there’s this many pictures of all of us on the internet (when we’re all famous).

xpost yikes!

This is when I just think that this programme really is reading all our heads like Emsk said it was—anger management = if you find yourself getting wound up, look at pictures of kittens:

Play Kate some of Miles Davis “Agharta” and some Mahavishnu Orchestra and tell her it’s prog!!

I definitely prefer the first series, though, because it has more of them sitting around talking crap about their dreams and powers and stuff. Also it has no Ole Gregg.

Mahavishnu Orchestra aren’t jazz, they’re fusion.

But then again, if there’s one thing I hate more than jazz, it’s fusion. CUT ALL THEIR THUMBS OFF, ARGH ARGH—I once told a bandmate (actually it was Anton who some of you have met) that he could cut my thumbs OFF if he ever caught me slapping or popping. PURE EVIL!¬!!

xpost, but in the first series Julian B only got naked once, while he’s got naked four times already in the second series, and I still have two episodes to go!

i meant to say this hours ago:

Emsk, regarding your boy conundrum, I would just explain that you want to be friends. And stick to it. There’s no point going through all the soul searching of why it doesn’t work for you two in that way. However, I wouldn’t recommend telling them you want to ‘just be friends’ and then make your moves all over again and decide all over again you don’t like them in that way after all, leaving them feeling hurt, dejected, bitter, angry and a million other things. Because then, just when they thought they were over you and could get back to being the funny, articulate, confident bon viveur they were before, they’ll just be the pathetic, emotional mess they were the first time, only with an added dose of self loathing as to how they could be so stupid again.

OTMFM

i will not do that because i have seen the hurt it causes my closest friends.

Look at me, I’m listening to jazz...

ARGH, ONLY FIVE SECONDS IN, AND THERE’S THAT ANNOYING TISH-TAH-TISH-TA CYMBAL THING!!!!! Look, take that out, and put a nice motorik beat under it, and I might be able to give it a listen, but this is just excruciating.

Kate, did you like the Blonde Redhead, Marmoset,Pelican and Arcade Fire albums?

Nope, I got two minutes and three seconds in before I had to rip off my headphones.

The cymbals, the fucking cymbals. And those wandering DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM basslines that just go up and down the scale like mindless twiddling, argh, argh, I’m trying to think of the quote from Amadeus, about up and down teh scales like the greedy songbirds they are, fireworks that never shut up and argh, I am too tired by too many notes.

There’s a lot about it that’s nice. If they took the sort of overlay textural bits and stuck it on top of motorik beats and a really fat sub-bass in a quite simple loop, it’d be the best thing ever. But then it would be prog or spacerock or something good and not Jazz in the first place!

x-post you haven’t even sent me half those things!

Did so!

vs

Can we identify a pointy nosed scruffy jazz musician for kate?

vs

Would Kate take this man home to meet her mum?>

Can we identify a pointy nosed scruffy jazz musician for kate?

Hmmmm. You think that might work?

He has almost exactly the same mouth as Damien Hirst, it’s bizarre. But it’s his eyes that are so bloody sexy, super deep set and sparkly.

It’s such a shame about the jazz.

I actually came in here to say something, and now I’ve totally forgotten what it was, dammit. (I know, I’m supposed to have left 15 minute ago, but I got a last minute visit from the dronerock fairy.)

No! It will NOT work! Even hott boys could not make me like jazz. If Hilton Betelgeuse couldn’t get me to like jazz, even in the darkest hours of my perplexing obsession, then no one could.

The other guy bears a resemblance to a young Peter Cook.

x-post

Maybe Sloan will make a jazz influenced album.

Also, I am trying to think of anyone named Julian who is not hott or has not been hott at some point. And all I can come up with is Julian Lennon. I mean, surely there must be others. Julian Cope is no longer hott, but he certainly used to be. And Julian Sands... it’s just one of those names that implies hottness, methinks.

Julian Lloyd Webber.

(It is so hard to find a picture of Hirst where he is not making a totally twattish face.)