He was always the cute one in teh Tap.
Marty: So, when you’re playing you feel like a preserved moose on stage?
Derek: Yeah.
If any of us did start talking about jazz I wonder how many posts until someone else did moan about jazz chat?
You may talk about jazz all you like, so long as you post pictures of Julian Barratt in each post, so that I can pretend it’s him talking bollocks about jazz and not an actual jazz chat.*
*I may rescind this offer at any time that my crush fades
I wonder if Julian agrees that Johnny Griffin’s embrochure and tone are only rivalled by Ben Webster
Speaking of jazz:
WHERE ARE THE PICTURES THAT SHOULD BE ACCOMPANYING THOSE POSTS?!?!?
OK, Mingus’s potty trained cat is pretty darn funny. But I thought we were cat pictured out yesterday.
I shall now demonstrate future formatting should you decide you wish to talk about JAZZ.
(Oh god, now I’ve got Destiny’s Childe in mine head, while we discuss some jazz, ba ba ba-oooh jazzzzz, ba bah bah-oooh jaaaaazzzz POW! POW! POW! POW!—clearly the sound of Kate freaking out and gunning down random passersby for talking about Jazz)
Dada: I wonder if Julian agrees that Johnny Griffin’s embrochure and tone are only rivalled by Ben Webster
Ed: Speaking of which, did you know that Mingus trained his cat to use the loo?
::cat picture::
Black Saint & Sinner Lady must be one of the greatest albums of all time.
I must have more chocolate.
See, Kerr has got the idea. ;-)
I’m listening to Ghost and trying to concentrate on work for a change.
Dada what is your favourite jazz mag?
That didn’t work. Post another.
(This is great, I can get other people to do the work of my image googlecrushing for me!)
Ned why do you fear sideburns?
That’s not the right one, Kerr. Keep the crushes straight! Keep up, man!
xxxpost
Asian Babes
Someone photoshop Kate on there please
aaaaahahah i just talked to 31t0n j0hn again...
Advice needed—I pathologically bite the skin around my fingernails. This makes them look ugly and it hurts. How can I stop?
you want to stop?
this is the highlight of my boring moments.
I do that too, Mark—I’ve never found a way to stop. I only started when I stopped biting my fingernails, so maybe I could try biting them again instead.
I do that a bit, but only because I like eating skin... is that weird? LOLz
Even better than the side of the fingernails skin is lip skin. Oh god, I’m compulsive about chewing that. It’s awful.
Ned why do you fear sideburns?
They would make me irritable.
Surprised Mark didn’t post that link in here
OK, I’m starting to feel quite dizzy. I’m really not sure why, if it’s the flu coming back or if it’s the new glasses or something I ate or what.
I’m not sure what to do. If I was vomiting, I’d go home, but this is more ill defined and I don’t know if it’s illness or not. Plus I can’t go home, I have rehearsal! But if I am sick, I don’t want to make F sick, too!
Argh, how do I tell if I’m ill or not?
Look at pics of Benjamin. If you don’t get all excited then you’re ill.
I’ve excited about everything at the moment.
But sometimes fever takes on that hallucinogenic “everything is wonderful!” feeling.
I have been bad all day. Is alcohol and mace a bad combo?
According to wikipedia I would have had to put a pot of mace in each pie to poison us.
It was probably the Bully Hill if it’s food poisoning.
(I do not think it is food poisoning, it’s dizziness, which could be ear infection?)
Could be (or sinuses).
besides, if it is the nutmeg we should have had ‘visual distortions and mild euphoria’ before death.
Maybe we did, and just didn’t notice because we were watching the Mighty Boosh! I mean, that’s trippy enough, maybe it wasn’t nearly good as we thought it was, and the whole granny apocalypse was a nutmeg fuelled hallucination!
And Kerr, give it up, I am never going to be so ill that I hallucinatorily mistake a JAZZ record for a spacerock record disguised as jazz.
Christ, this has been such a wasted day!
And Kerr, give it up, I am never going to be so ill that I hallucinatorily mistake a JAZZ record for a spacerock record disguised as jazz.
Not even a Sun Ra record?
that is not jazz. That is from outer space. That is... beyond our earthly conceptions of genre labels.
OK, this is a really weird thing, and I probably shouldn’t post it at all for fear of giving people ideas, but the funny thing is... when you *know* that someone has killfiled you, I have this sudden childish urge, the same as when you’re like, behind a one-way glass or behind someone and you know that people can’t see you so you have childish urges to make monkeyfaces at them... I have this sudden urge to do the internet equivalent and just be totally horribly almost comically rude about them—because I know they can’t see me.
I’m not *going* to, because 1) that would be childish and I’m an adult now and 2) everybody else would see me pulling monkey faces.
But it is a terrible, mischevious urge.
TREASURE HUNT: http://www.whitechapel.org/content.php?page_id=3069
Yes! Yes! I want to do it!
Oh fuck, starts at 10.30 the day after our gig? Maybe not.
I AM DOIN IT
haven’t signed up yet as only just seen it
YES.
I have never found myself wishing so hard that someone would bring up Jazz... aw, you lot must have tired of the fun game. I am just going to have to post up mine own image spam.
I just know from experience nothing ever happens the next morning after a gig, especially after a gig at the Windmill. They never close! I mean, seriously! And there’s no excuse to leave early as it’s around the corner from mine house.
*pulls monkey face at Kate*
Just testing.
I do not fancy any Mighty Boosh dudes, nor do I find them that funny. I have noticed recently that I have an accidental crush on Robert Webb though, despite appalling Mac vs PC adverts.
He’s totally hott.
Will there be more skinny boy gooblar handjiving at this gig?
Who’s hott? Julian Barratt? I’m confused.
(I’m assuming that g000blar is agreeing with me re hottness of Robert Webb)
Never seen Mitchell & Webb either (my mate always talks about them though)
I usually catch up on comedy when it’s shown on uk gold or similar haha
That’s going to look ridiculously non sequiter-esque if Kate has killfiled me :-)
I doubt she would do that (yes, I realise you are only joking).
She might just think Gooblar is hot.
Btw anyone seen tissp around?
Hello! It’s a new thread! Hello, new thread!
Now can I go back to bed, please?
I want to go back to bed but we have a man coming to bring us a new washing machine this morning so I thought I’d better put some clothes on so as not to appear as a less attractive Benny Hill/Robin Askwith version of a housewife in a dressing-gown when the chap from Argos turns up at the door.
At least if he turns up early, *then* you can go back to bed.
No, then I have to go to work. (or, I could just go back to bed and then go to work at lunchtime claiming he didn’t turn up until 12 o’clock)
Note to boss if she’s inexplicably lurking here: i’m not actually going to do that.
Aaah, I see.
I just noticed this. (FUCK ME IT’S PAISLEY IN HERE) And, fuck me, if it isn’t Paisley out there (well, a mile or so down the road out there) as well.
Here is a picture of Paisley. Isn’t it lovely?
Actually, it is (lovely, that is):
(I work in that second one, and it’s one of the mills where they used to make Paisley pattern, so ON TOPIC!)
Morning everyone. I am languishing at home this morning and then will be going to WALES (yay!) sometime this afternoon. Will make a bacon sandwich soon.
That mill is fantastic, Ailsa!!
I’d never clocked the connection between paisley, and Paisley, if you know what I mean.
Do they make it now? Did they make it under ground in the ’80s?
Careful, Dr C—don’t go to the whales by mistake.
Isn’t it? There’s another one just along the road from it, but that’s converted into flats now.
This is what Paisley used to look like when they were all weaving away back in the past:
Keef, they don’t make it here anymore. Also, hahaha.
I kinda want one of these
FP—OK Wales, not whales. I’ll try and remember.
But I want this more.....TOTAL HOTNESS.
OK, I now have a new washing machine. Argos are ridiculous. Neil asked in the shop if we could pay the extra £20 to get them to plumb it in for us and take the old one away. Except person in shop didn’t actually put that part of the transaction through (OK, I know, he should’ve checked the receipt at the time), something I hadn’t realised until the guys dumped our new washing machine in the kitchen and were all “bye!”, “erm aren’t you taking the old one away?” “not unless you paid for us to” “but we did, look here’s my receipt” “look standard delivery charge only, sorry love, nothing we can do, blah blah”. So now I have two washing machines, one not plumbed in, and will shortly have a grumpy husband when I tell him. Guess what *he’s* doing tomorrow?
That one’s all knackered, Dr C, you want to get a new one.
x-post Aww YOU can plumb it in this morning Ailsa- I have faith in your ability. Don’t forget to turn off the water first.
Norm : knackered = HOTT (in guitars). I have to have a Jag at some point.
Don’t talk to me about washing machines. Mine’s just about on its last legs (it’s given up being able to do a fast spin, and I have to wring everything out by hand), so I will be washing machine shopping tomorrow, hopefully somewhere which has one in stock which I can bring home with me immediately for the lucky Mr Unruly to plumb in.
Yeah I could fancy a Jag as well, but that one’s maybe a little too “distressed” for my tastes!
It’s not my fault though! I wanted to pay someone to do it. I am rubbish at things like that, that’s why paying other people to do stuff was invented. I (very recently) drove my car round with tyre pressures in single digits because I can’t even put air in my tyres properly (I’ve been a car owner for 17 years and I can’t remember EVER putting air in them, co-drivers always do it), practical stuff is beyond me. I mean, I can put air in my tyres *now*—I’ve just never needed to. I can do the oil and stuff in my car, I can change a plug/fuse/tyre, I just don’t unless I have to.
(xpost to Dr C)
ha, that makes me sound like a total “ooh, these menial things are beneath me” moron, doesn’t it? I’m not really, I’m just really clumsy when it comes to practical things and I’ll rather not chop my hands off/flood the house/electrocute myself/short the whole of West Central Scotland.
And on that note, I guess I’d better go to work.
Have a lovely time in Wales, Dr C. Have a nice weekend, the rest of you.
ailsa that looks lovely. my cousin lives in paisley. he is president of the students’ union and now has this bizarro french/scottish accent when he speaks english.
where are you going in wales dr c?
Hello thread. I took your advice to immerse myself in something fun yesterday. I had a bath and some whisky, got out of the bath 2 hours after I got in, and slept like a 5 year old (and one of those nice 5 year olds, not a screaming vomiting one). I may have overdone the whiskey though, since I have a bad feeling that I’m still drunk. I haven’t acted drunk, so I’ve just been topping myself up with coffee and red bull, but I feel happy as anything! So yay! No banana cake though, which is a shame.
There’s a killfile on here? Brilliant! (I’m hoping that the fact that one exists means that I won’t have to use it, since everyone’ll cut out the rubbishness cos they’re afraid of being killfiled.) Is that how it works? I hope so.
Yes, have fun in Wales. It’s nice there, very craggy.
It’s not a killfile on *here* really, as far as I can tell. It’s a Greasemonkey script to obliterate particular users’ posts when the page is rendered.
x-post not far from Cardiff, but by the sea. Just a short break until Tuesday to reacharge the batteries/stave off the nuthouse.
Washing machines—yes mines nearly dead. It makes an awful noise when it spins and floods once in a while. It’s 17 years old though—top German engineering.
The problem with cars is that you CAN drive em around these days and do nothing to them bar putting in petrol. Those of us who learned to drive in crap 70’s and 80’s cars (esp British ones) quickly found that you needed to be able to fix them like every week to be able to go anywhere. I learned everything I know from a 1979 Ford Fiesta—what a pile of junk. I sound old. Mind you the best car I’ve ever driven was a 1971 Beetle that the missus used to have—it sounded like a helicopter, but was totally reliable. German engineering again—I wish we still had that car.
The thermostat on my washing machine is broken, and it now only washes with cold water. Plusses are the clothes don’t fade and the colours don’t run, minuses are... don’t know. The clothes seem to wash okay, though heavy stains need a rub of Vanish and putting through twice. I just wonder if I need to get a man in to fix it.
I learned my “get you home” stuff in a ’67 Wolseley 1100! High point of owning that thing was when it conked out in Sunderland, being baffled as to why it wouldn’t start, until we spotted that the petrol hose had popped off the carburettor! (we were wondering why we could smell petrol as well—is was squirting all over the—in places quite hot—engine) Every time it went wrong, we would be like “fucking useless thing, SCRAP IT”, then we’d look at it, and it was so cute we’d change our minds. I wish I still had it, TBH, it’s the only car I’ve owned that I miss.
Incidentally: It wasn’t anyone from *here* who sent me a text message last night asking if I’m OK, was it? It wasn’t anyone whose number is in my phone.
My car’s reversing light is broken.
Were you sick of the bumping, rattling, rocking and rolling?
DANGEROUS BEND
The ride on the thing was incredibly good, Dr C. It was like floating along above the ground. I’ve got to get another one, damn it.
That’s the story of my life. I want the Beetle back. I want my old Fender Bullet back—it was a total dog of a guitar but had *character*.
I now am imagining Dr. C singing (and whistling) the old Michael Holliday song The Story of my Life and I have prolly mortally offended him as he is of course far too RAWK to do something like that!
this week i got TWO wedding invitations and ONE email from someone i’ve not heard from since... 2000? 2001? exciting!
so um what are you all doing with your weekends?
Are you going to Barry Island, Dr C?
I used to *love* going there when I was a kid. There was a fairground stall there where a guy used to try and guess your weight, but he got mine completely wrong (because my Dad made me surreptitiously hide stones in my pockets first!) and consequently I won a prize, which was A Genuine Peruvian Gold Ring. It made my finger turn green.
barry island! wow. i only ever went there once. i went in the sea and got really really ill.
Good morning! Blimey what a lot of people and a lot of talking! Excellent!
I am in a very good mood this morning, despite being STILL sick because I had a really good time last night. Sat around with F and J and we drank ale and listened to Hawkwind and talked about Dr Who and drones and why the Grateful Dead suck and it was just great fun. I like them so much, they’re just one of those couples who just give me hope for the world.
And F and I worked out some arrangements and some drones and some harmonies (OK, she did all the work, twidding the knobs of the Korg and I just sat there and went “yes. Oh yes. That one. YES YES YES YES YES!!!” until her other half stuck his head down the stairs going “what are you two up to?”)
I love those so called ‘genuine’ things that so obv aren’t. I bought a Genuine US Army Water Bottle when I was in my teens. It was plastic with a cloth casing which had KOREA stamped on it. Then when I actually took it on a trip and put some water in it, the word KOREA transcribed to be in water based ink and smudged on the fabric.
And then when I was in Jordan a guy named Ali whom I hired a horse from tried to sell me a ‘genuine Roman coin’ which was just a stone he’d carved a face on!!!
(I didn’t actually killfile anyone, FWIW, and now the novelty has worn off, I’m bored with it all.)
Oh, Mitchell and Webb are the Peep Show blokes? I don’t fancy either. I mean, if I were likely to fancy either of them, it would be the other one—the cute one with the chubby cheeks and old man suit. But I don’t fancy either of them.
Giant mills that make paisly are just about the COOLEST! THING! EVAH!!! and I want one in mine home. Except it might not fit. Instead of dark satanic mills, I want psychedelic paisley mills. Excellent.
I am so sick of my jazzmaster, it’s just so ... argh. The jazz circuit switch is still broken and getting worse. Now the pickup switch is getting all cranky, and I can’t get just the neck pickup without it being totally distorted and cutting in and out. I should take it to the shop, but I don’t know any guitar shops that I dare trust.
I am still like a fucking zombie today. I’m meant to be going to sheffield this evening but if I fee like this I shall be less fun than a wet herring.
x-post CJ—not quite the island, but Barry itself. Rellys have house virtually on the seafront.
Kate—no dissing Jazzmasters, no, no, no. It’s just needing some tlc. Try Pete Cook’s in Ealing? Robert Smith’s old guitar tech works there and obv knows how to look after Jazzys.
Could I be over sensitive to nutmeg?
Oh no, Ed! I am not feeling rough, just floaty still. The dizziness passed as soon as I got outside in the fresh air, but felt well, stoned, all the rest of the evening last night. Hope you feel better.
I’ve never had a guitar that needed so much TLC. :-( Where the heck is Ealing? Any suggestions a little closer to London? I took Jason the Spaceamp to that place on Denmark St when it was ill, and they charged me loads of money and it was still not working right when I got him back. Then this bloke who serviced the equipment at the Joint came by and had a look at it—it took him forever to get around to fixing it, but when he did, it was better than new! I have no idea how to get hold of him—or indeed if I trust him to ever get my guitar back to me if I’m not at the Joint every week to hassle.