it’s not so much a matter of not telling, i can definitely tell when the old spice has given up the ghost, but determining when (if?) the old spice is at less than 50% effective is the trick.
then again, maybe i just smell so fucking good that i should foresake it all together and play basketball for 9 hours a day. i could rent myself out as an air freshener.
This dumb article about Why Men Cheat annoys me. It also somehow makes me more sleepy.
Sarah, not at all! my name is weird.
While we’re on the subject of personal hygiene, smells, and potential TMI-topics, here’s an informal poll:
Courtesy flushing. Do you? Why or why not?
the fucking first sentence of that article pisses me off too much to read any more.
i’ve known way more women to cheat than dudes. bah, whatever, not worth it.
horeshoe, i am going to continue calling you horseshoe in public because i think it’s an awesome nickname. let me know if it gets on your nerves.
That article is high fuckin’ comedy.
Think about what’s on your iPod. You have your favorite songs you play over and over, but every once in a while, you’re in the mood to hear something you haven’t played in a long time. You don’t need to hear it but once every month or so, but still, you appreciate the changeup.
Women are like iPods. I’ve never thought of it like that. What a refreshing perspective.
i’ve known way more women to cheat than dudes.
Yeah, I was gonna say. Well, not way more, but God, how old is this stereotype, anyway?
actually, that would be one of the least annoying nicknames I’ve ever had. fine by me!
can I admit I’m not sure how “courtesy” flushing is different than just flushing?
So, let’s see...
Men cheat because they are biologically compelled to (whereas women are biologically compelled, to paraphrase Lisa Jervis, use their vaginas as fly paper in which to trap wedding rings); they are bored with their current sex lives (read: once women trap said men, they stop liking to fuck and so on some level deserve to be cheated on); they are too emotionally stunted to maturely end a relationship; or a clever iPod-analogy rehash of the biological compulsion.
Now, as a woman, I find a lot to object to in that article. My question to you mens is whether you find those so-called biological gender imperatives equally as oppressive? I mean, doesn’t it piss you off to be told again and again that you’re not much more than a giant, erect penis thrusting about, searching for a home? And that you’re immature, to boot?
“The Mysteries of the Sexes Explained” bothers me too much to read any more. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH WOMEN, AMIRITE??
And yeah, I don’t know what courtesy flushing is, either.
Courtesy flushing. Do you? Why or why not?
Yeah, sometimes. Depends on what I ate and how potentially deadly the aroma. Why do you ask?
then again, maybe i just smell so fucking good that i should foresake it all together and play basketball for 9 hours a day. i could rent myself out as an air freshener.
Husk Musk!
xpost to Jenny: Yes.
Also 2x/3x/whatever to more women cheating than men, both in my personal experience and with my platonic female friends.
http://www.poopreport.com/Techniques/Content/Courtesy/courtesy.html
My question to you mens is whether you find those so-called biological gender imperatives equally as oppressive?
I don’t really have a sense of indignance about my gender being oppressed, and I’m not about to grow one now.
Wait, I still don’t understand the courtesy flush. So you flush once, and then you flush again to indicate that your shit stinks? Seems like that’s calling more attention to yourself than need be.
No, you flush before you’re all done wiping or whatever, just to clear the air as quickly as possible and not have your poop sitting in the bowl giving off molecules for any longer than is necessary.
Courtesy flushing, as I understand it, is when you flush to try and cover up the noises you make while you’re poopin’ and fartin’. I ask because I just used the bathroom next to a courtesy flusher and I always thought it was kind of pointless. I know why you’re in there! There’s no need to waste water trying to act like you’re not pooping!
Kenan, I guess I’m getting at the whole, “Feminism is good for men, too, because it frees us all from gender stereotypes” conclusion, via internet Socratic method.
Speaking of smelling, I just learned that some bees can collect a flower’s perfume and store it in their legs to attract lady bees. The lady bees have a keen sense of smell and pick their mates largely based on the strength and diversity of scents belonging to the male bee.
As for the article, I just love how it ends with the implication that a woman better be sure to keep changing things up in the bedroom if she doesn’t want her man out looking for new tunes.
Oh. Doesn’t seem like it’s worth it. I mean, how long does it take you to wipe? Also, the bathroom at work doesn’t get all that much traffic: there are two stalls, and it’s maybe only 5% of the time that I go in there and one is already occupied.
My question to you mens is whether you find those so-called biological gender imperatives equally as oppressive?
I just hate any generalizations about gender*, especially ones that treat men and women like we’re two alien species, impossible to understand without the help of a translator.
*except the ones about women liking chocolate and being cold all the time
The courtesy flush: gallant or futile?
to try and cover up the noises you make while you’re poopin’ and fartin’
I’ve never thought of that potential application. Well, if you’re just embarrassed to be poopin, there’s no help for you. I always thought of it as trying to clean up, in a kinda sorta way.
oh, i just thought it was to keep from clogging the toilet
I mean, doesn’t it piss you off to be told again and again that you’re not much more than a giant, erect penis thrusting about, searching for a home? And that you’re immature, to boot?
it doesn’t piss me off, really, but it is a bit irritating, more out here than any other place i’ve lived. the men of montana are, shockingly, huge pigs.
if she doesn’t want her man out looking for new tunes
This is just so funny to me. I mean, I guess there are guys like that, who have women all over town or whatever. Playas, as the kids say.
“Allison is so rock and roll, but Cathy is more emo.”
“I’d marry her if she weren’t so noise.”
oh, i just thought it was to keep from clogging the toilet
Mein Gott, what are you eating?
hott
Right, women like chocolate.
THREESOME!
I’m sure there are men like that, but what I think the article is getting at more is, “Women, don’t LET your men get like that!” or, similarly, “Women, if you’ve been cheated on, you should have been a better playlist.”
Also, the comments are pretty hilarious.
“Hey, welcome to the Yahoo blogs! I think men have needed a forum to address topics relevant to them for quite some time”
Because nowhere in modern western society is there a forum for men to address topics relevant to them...
Male normativity called. It wants it’s irony back.
And its possessive apostrophe.
Because nowhere in modern western society is there a forum for men to address topics relevant to them...
Precisely what I mean about my sense of gender-based indignance having become vestigal.
Mein Gott, what are you eating?
i’ve laid some serious pipe in my time, dudes
Inappropriate apostrophe, I mean.
You people are not talking about WIPING on the internet, are you?!
Just John.
i am talking about dumping
Dominating that porcelain.
It’s okay, what happens in the sandbox stays in the sandbox. Right guys? Right?
LOLZ
Society vilifies, belittles, humitates, insults, debases and verbally abuses MEN in order to bolster the frail FEMALE ego. Does anybody realy think that the girls don’t go out looking for it too? I have a friend who ruined 3 marriages because SHE couldn’t stay away from MEN. She once told Me that She had slept with over 1500 MEN (and several hundred WOMEN). Is SHE on trial? I’m neither a “Greek God” nor a “stud” but even so I have slept with 7 MARRIED WOMEN (All of whom were friends {and still are}) because THEY asked Me to! Promiscuity is equally inherent in both sexes. If You want to sell books all You have to do is to appeal to Female vanity (much the same way as you would if you wanted to bed them down), and blame men for all things reprehensible.
that article is also a case of “I’m going to trump up my personal experiences with the opposite sex into absolute truths about men and women writ large, rather than me just being an irresponsible asshole.” I mean, I guess everybody does that, but it’s always super-annoying.
Just John.
Kenan brought it up!
Promiscuity is equally inherent in both sexes.
100% agreeance from me.
i am so glad i came back with my turkey sub and decided to read this thread instead of peter king’s monday morning quarterback column like i had planned. it truly is great reading while eating some mealey turkey.
Also, it’s in MEN’S HEALTH so really, shooting fish in a barrel.
oh gross Kevin.
Promiscuity is equally inherent in both sexes.
100% agreeance from me.
Yeah, I’m not LOLing at that part. I have a lot of anecdotal evidence to refute the choosy female/seed-spreading male biological imperative, as I’m sure we all do.
Promiscuity is equally inherent in both sexes.
In some ways I wish I had the personal experience to back this up, because then I’d feel less like an asshole sometimes. But I’ll prob. take occasionally feeling like an asshole vs. feeling completely horrible for being cheated on.
xposts
told again and again that you’re not much more than a giant, erect penis thrusting about, searching for a home?
this description amuses me.
yay for people buying AD—i wasn’t sure about posting the link and frustrating people who didn’t have impulse-splurge money. i hadn’t thought of christmas presents.
i didn’t completely read that article. scanning it was amusing though.
earlier, somebody pointed me to a silly article about how men could be better in bed. speaking of gender stereotypes... http://www.eioba.com/a2849/fifty_mistakes_men_make_when_having_sex
my favorite line: she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset.
Assets: 1998 Saturn, checking account, maidenhead*
*not really
I had to put my vagina down as an asset on my student loan form.
That was before I got married. Now Jeff puts it down as an asset on his applications.
He should plant a flag in it.
“I claim this territory for the British Empire and the glory of God.”
yep, glad i came back after reading mmqb.
You can’t come back til you make some chili, mister!
later gators.
i was kidding, you wiener.
Hey I asked a question that maybe some of y’all (like ARMANDO GROUSE over here) might know the answer to.
“Women, if you’ve been cheated on, you should have been a better playlist.”
Not enough Motorhead. It’s a common problem.
I don’t know of such a compilation, John, but I want one, too.
One of the reasons I don’t own anything like that is because okay, I love Gershwin and Porter, but they’re not like bands with canonical 5-stars-on-AMG albums, or even slapped-together Rhino greatest-hits collections — no, a million singers have performed Gershwin and Porter songs, and so there are very few “definitive” versions of anything.
It’s really a completely different model, even down to the fact that I came to love these songs not from any recordings but from my own playing of them.
“It’s incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love”
The jazzman I work with suggests compilations on the Presitge and Verve labels, like this: http://www.vervemusicgroup.com/product.aspx?ob=prd&src=rslt&pid=9448
and so there are very few “definitive” versions of anything
Right. And even if there were, licensing all of them for one set would be a nightmare. What you need is a mix CD from a jazzbo. I am ill-equipped in the standards department.
I am looking up Rodgers and Hart compilations on Amazon. there are one million. Ella Fitzgerald’s “The Lady is a Tramp” is my favorite version.
John I believe this is what you’re looking for.
Gross.
hahaha
Hmmm — well, I dunno. I don’t have that many compilations, but there are a couple of things that come to mind.
1) The Songs of [year] series, which is always fun and has hidden hits (and some standards). Sarah liked the one I gave her from 1930, I think it was.
2) I would look on AMG under “vocal pop” or “American popular song” for direction. It shows me “Academy Award Winning Songs [year-year]” is a good option as well as looking for collections based on composer versus singer.
But I am more into the singer than the composer—I would rather just listen to the work of one singer who I particularly like, but that’s me. I would put links in but 1) i don’t remember how and 2) my wrist hurtz.
this one has Peggy Lee’s “The Lady is a Tramp” on it, but it’s just Rodgers and Hart songs: http://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Romantic-Capitol-Sings-Rodgers/dp/B000006MVH/sr=8-3/qid=1165343575/ref=pd_bbs_3/103-6832995-8765454?ie=UTF8&s=music
No seriously, this looks like what you’re describing.
Ella Fitzgerald’s “The Lady is a Tramp” is my favorite version
Yeah, ha — she gets all Mark E. Smith on it: “Won’t go to crap games with barons and earls-ah, don’t go to Harlem in sables and pearls-ah.”
But I am more into the singer than the composer—I would rather just listen to the work of one singer who I particularly like, but that’s me.
Yeah, I guess this is my thing, is I don’t know a whole lot about specific pre-rock singers because I haven’t heard very much of them. I just played the tunes on the piano. People like Fitzgerald and Sinatra are exceptions because almost everyone’s heard them, but I only know Ella’s version of “The Lady is a Tramp” that Horseshoe brought up because Kelsey put it on a mix CD for me like three years ago. (And I was only able to make the Mark E. Smith comparison because I just listened to it on my iPod.)
Jordan, that one looks good!
The Rodgers/Hart one looks good, too. Man.
Also would like recommendations on Jimmy Webb or Burt Bacharach compilations.
yeah, I would love to somehow be able to get the “best” version of like the Rodgers and Hart, Gershwins, and Porter bodies of work. my stepdad had Ella Fitzgerald sings everybody, basically, and sometimes, like on “Lady is a Tramp,” she’s amazing, but then, she’s really slow and boring on “Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.”
Jeff prob. has a Burt B. recommendation. I know we’ve got some records of his that I l-o-v-e but I can’t remember what they’re called.
Not this Jimmy Webb, btw:
But he was BORN FIGHTING.
His poor mother.
Similar to jaymc, I know most of these tunes from playing in jazz groups, but for half of them I’ve never even heard the lyrics.
WHOA. I am listening to Joanna Newsom on “All Songs Considered” and am just realizing that my favorite song on last year’s Emiliana Torrini record is actually a SANDY DENNY cover. ARMANDO, please advise.
I just heard “The Heat Is On” (from Beverly Hills Cop) on the radio and a co-worker left some cookies on my chair, my day is looking up.
agh interrupted by pesky students
Get Fairport Convention’s Liege and Lief or Unhalfbricking.
I just discovered that L3v3l Optic@l has moved in across the street from Old Timer’s!
Nice. Can’t wait until January so I can finally get SPECS.
I’m gonna be getting a new pair soon, maybe even this week. I cannot WAIT to be rid of these awful things. Any suggestions, folks? (Preferably, under about $100.)
I hope that my insurance company gets off their collective asses and approves my claim for new contacts sometime this year, as well.
1. My historic jazz go-to guy is named Armando for real. I might even have some of his compillations around the house somewhere.
2. My eye doc in GSO was in the same strip mall as a bar and yes, I have gotten my eyes checked after beerz.
3. Dan, it’s hard to make specs suggestions w/out seeing them on yr face. But my glasses from Level Optical were $30 co-pay and I loves them.
I think the reason why the acronym GSO bothers me is that I think you guys are talking about a symphony orchestra at first.
ps jaymc what was the song? i love sandy denny. i would like to hear fotheringay (her band after FC, i think?) but i don’t have no moolah and i don’t know if their albums are in print.
xxpost I think I want something black or possibly dark brown, but not clunky thick frames. Honestly I sorta prefer the rimless kind but I have been told they are UNFASHIONABLE. The FASHIONABLE part was what I was really looking for aid on.
I decided yesterday that “The Look of Love” is the best song ever*. I was listening to a Sergio Mendes version but it sounded so great, esp. during the “don’t ever go” part.
*i changed my mind almost immediately, but for a minute it was the best song i had ever heard.
xxxxxxpost
john, i’m pretty sure i put the della reese version of ‘the lady is a tramp’ on your mix tape or whatever. that version blew my mind when i first heard it. it’s like she ‘got it’ and everyone else was just doin’ musicals.
Honestly I sorta prefer the rimless kind but I have been told they are UNFASHIONABLE.
Honestly I sorta prefer the rimless kind but I have been told they are UNFASHIONABLE
You don’t say. I started out with thick emo glasses years ago and they’ve been getting progressively thinner. My current pair are half-rimmed so I assumed that rimless would be the logical next step.
(I am not talking about rimming on the internet etc.)
Colbert can wear any glasses he likes. He’s so handsome, he’s impervious to fashion.
kenan, i think a pair of glasses that is rimless along the bottom but a heavy dark top would look nice on you.
maybe not this exactly, but something similar:
whatevs. link for yer pleasure.