Whoa!!! Who put this on Last.FM ?

http://www.last.fm/music/The+Lollies

Dammit, I’m trying to download an MP3 of Boycrush Pusher but everywhere wants me to register. DUDE, I AM NOT GOING TO PAY *YOU* TO DOWNLOAD A SONG THAT *I* NEVER GAVE YOU THE RIGHTS FOR!

There’s some other variations of this about!

Morning all. Apparently Kaet has excised the Lollies from last.fm—nothing to listen to there now.

Morning!

Statistic of the day: about 8% of the Lollies tracks played by Last.FM users were played by me since I signed up for it—32 plays out of 440 total.

Last night was fun.

It was all a bit awkward, of course, as it always is when it’s not only a first date, but a first meet too. But then, we were standing on the station platform saying our goodbyes. The train was starting from here, so it had been standing there a while. There hadn’t been any shouts or whistles or anything, when we both suddenly noticed: the door lights had gone out. And as we were both saying “Oh—shit...”, the engines revved up and it pulled out of the station.

It was only half-eight, but that was very definitely the last train of the evening that went anywhere near the right direction. And it was, frankly, by far the biggest ice-breaker we could have had. Never mind the awkward conversations about how we feel and what sort of relationship we’re looking for; that was all out of the window, and things were suddenly all relaxed.

Good start then—did you get on and it’s all loveliness, or . . . not?

I’ve just started the whole dating thing in earnest (thanks to the previously mentioned msf—http://www.mysinglefriend.com/detail.php?|=zefqrefghcd ) and meeting people is terrible. I can never do the ice breaking thing very well—I never really know what to talk about. I’ve never been good at small-talk, and big-talk can’t be just launched into on a 1st date—so what’s going on? EEEK! The last date I went on was lovely in a “met new cool person” kind of way, but still no fancying going on. Hurumph. Who’s got advice on the whole “meeting people is easy” thing? What do I talk about on dates? This is REALLY hard!

Who went to Kate’s shindig last night? Need people to report back on and tell me what I missed :(

It was great, one of the best gigs, kate got G00blar and PBW to come and be dancing boys on stage for BLT. Guitar was really forward as well which sounded great. (other bands were good too)

It was actually the most fun I’ve had onstage in a long time. Honestly, that was a *great* gig. I was totally into it and feeling it, in a way I’ve not been in a long time.

Yes, we got Dave and PBW to dance onstage with us. Suzy has pictures, I think.

Dumped my guitars back at the office and drank until 3 in a funny handshake bar. Talked to PBW some. He’s more fucked up than I ever imagined. He went home with another girl. I should feel devastated, but all I feel is... well... I’m in love with the world again, for having boys like him in it.

I’m just utterly and completely smitten, in a “god, I just want to write songs about you” way. Which is the best way of all.

Good start then

I think so :-)

JB, we had already been talking on the phone a lot over the past week or so, so we knew enough about each other already to have a fair amount to talk about. But that only works with a few people, I think.

I guess it’s easier on the phone, but when the only contact you have is email+txting then it gets tricky. It’s different meeting at FAPs or whatever cos there’s no pressure. When you meet people IRL that you just kinda fancy based on their pic and a few paragraphs, and visa versa, then the pressure to have fun and get on seems to be magnified.

That’s the thing I forogt abotu dating—the pressure to have fun and be likeable/witty/etc. I’m an easy going guy, I don’t need pressure!

And yay to crushes and good gigs! (And I’m envious of that badge)

The one-on-one thing definitely adds pressure. A couple of weeks ago I was at a cocktail party sort of thing with a bunch of colleagues. One woman some how ended up standing all alone and she came over and sat down on the couch next to me (also alone). “Aha! I thought she wants to talk to someone.” I got out about two sentences and got about two syllables from her, and then she got up and went to stand by herself again.

Pretty much shot the rest of the evening for me—burned in shame for about 30 minutes and then left.

I googled “talk about on dates” on got this:

http://www.replieswanted.com/things-to-talk-about-on-a-date.htm

which all seems far too clinical for me, but I guess I’m after a clinical solution, so maybe I do need to go down the NLP route.

She said a very nice thing early on in the date. We were just sitting down in the restaurant, looking at the menus, and it all felt very awkward. She said: “Just think, in six months time we’ll be sitting down in a restaurant and just ordering what we want, and it will just be ordinary. This is as awkward as it’s ever going to be—from now on it’s only going to get easier.”

She had threatened to bring a crib sheet of conversational topics for me!

Aaaah, very sweet. If a little pushy. ;)

I forgot about the badge, I have a badge it is so cool.

I’ve just sent an incomprehensible message to PBW which has probably made the situation worse.

But it’s like... the only feeling in the world that actually means anything to me, is that sense of getting onstage and putting in a performance where you *REALLY FEEL IT*. That’s better than sex, it’s better than love, it’s better than drugs, it’s better than anything.

I have been phoning it in with this band for so long, going through the motions, wondering why I do it. And suddenly, last night, as I looked out in the audience and saw his face, it’s like every stupid, trite cliche in the songs suddenly meant something again. I think that’s what made the gig so good, and yeah, it was something special last night.

I don’t get to have relationships or any of that crap, but this is what I *do* get—the ability to write songs and perform them. This is the only thing that has ever meant anything to me.

And it’s like, he gave me that back last night.

How do you say that to someone, without sounding like a complete mentalist? I think I was talking drunken bollocks about him being my muse or something. But it’s like... “I look at you, and I hear music!” How can you put something like that into words? Just hope a fellow musician understands?

It’s not sexual, it’s not like wanting to get with him or anything like that. I feel kinda like an emotional vampire, because I just want him to tell me stories about his life and put them to music.

See, all this is a good thing, but don’t tell him all that—even if you don’t mean it in a creepy way, it WILL come out as creepy. Am I the only one who thinks it might be an idea to keep this under your hat?

Or am I too late? ;)

Too late. I told him a rather simplified version of paragraphs 2 and 3.

I am stupid and selfish, but I love feeling like this.

I hope he takes it in the right way, Kate, because you’re not a creepy person.

In other news, tonight, I am going on a photoshoot. As one of the models.

Oh, I am a creepy person, but just not particularly dangerous. I may be as mad as a box of frogs, but I’m harmless. Mostly.

Having ones photo taken is awful. I hope it’s not too terrible. ;-)

Forest Pines, today.

I can’t see the stupid/selfish thing here, somebody is making you feel good, which is . . . well, good. That’s hardly selfish.

You’re going modelling? Do report back with stories about prima donnas. I wouldn’t mind trying that kind of thing, but I don’t think my ego would be able to take it. And besides, my eyes invariably turn out like the eyes of a killer (see my MSF photo).

Check out the creepy comment about Emsk on my flickr before I delete it.

OK, that is creepy.

I think I’d really enjoy having my photo taken all day.

Actually, I have just reread the email, and I don’t think it’s that creepy. I tried to be quite straightforward. But of course, now is the MySpace torture of whether he’s read it, and whether he responds and... argh.

Fuck that. I’m happy for once, and I’m going to enjoy it. I’m in the best band in the world.

I will definitely be reporting back. I’m not sure the photos will be suitable for posting here, though.

Ow, this hurts. I can remember looking up at Nelson in Trafalgar Square last night and thinking “god, this hurts... but it’s better than that awful NUMBNESS that I’ve been feeling for so long...”

Even pain can make you feel like you’re alive, sometimes.

Wait, I’m in the best band in the world.

That is, I’m told, the rationale behind a lot of self-harming.

(the other thing with both self-harming and masochism is that the normal response to physical pain gives you a kind of natural high—but also in some people a very bad comedown a day or two later)

((xpost))

I am breaking my Watercooler duck to apologise for the funny handshake bar. I am in extreme pain and I didn’t even go into work today.

What are you talking about? The funny handshake bar was GRATE!!! It was certainly better than my work bar which is where I took them before the funny handshake bar.

I suppose it’s terrible, but the best thing about this is the sense of... *rightness*. I’m in love with a boy I barely know and can never have, and that’s the way it should be.

I have no idea what’s going on right now. Did somebody tilt the world while I was asleep?

Brrrrr at creepy hair comments. That is SOME bright hair tho.

I wouldn’t mind having my photo taken all day if I was just having my photo snapped to capture my day-to-day going ons, but I would imagine modelling being more hard work than that.

ha ha reminds me of that Black Books episode with the Greek photographer when Manny runs away. If there are any Japanese businessmen hanging round, run away quickly.

I’m not sure the photos will be suitable for posting here, though.“

Oh, those kind of photos! Well, just pixilate anything unsavoury, I’m still intrigued!

I’m with you about the familiarity of being in love with someone you can’t have being comforting. It’s liek you were saying with depression being a cosy safety blanket you can wrap round yourself—endless crushes like that are exactly the same. And quite cool, in a way.

What KIND of funny handshake? Or would the bar stop being cool if you told the likes of ME?

Who was I talking to, last night, about how it doesn’t matter who you are, or what you do, it only matters what you look like?

Was that you, Gooblar? (Are you awake yet?)

I don’t know. I’m still trying to work out whether I believe it or not. I’m not sure I was even talking about my plainness vs. the prettiness of the girl PBW went home with—or if I was talking about mine own shallowness (visual motivation? aesthetic motivation?)

PBW is totally right to be suspicious of my motivations—like he said, I don’t know him, not at all. I’ve based my entire views of him on the observation that he *looks* like a bruised angel. It’s all projection. But what things look like (sound like, the prettiness, aesthetically, of them) is really all that matters to me. As an artist, at least.

And I’m selfish because, perhaps, maybe I don’t actually *want* to know him. I just want to continue to project that bruised angel image on him.

That was me (HI DERE). I still disagree with looks being preeminent, but I don’t think that needs to conflict with an artist’s fascination with aesthetics, etc.

It was truly a great gig last night, everything sounded (after the first song) all sparkly and right-on and together and world-conquering.

Not feeling too rough today, due to lots of water imbibement.

i feel rough

I still can’t see how preserving an image of someone is selfish. Seems better than trying to mould them into what your projecting in real life. And you know that as soon as you get to know him, he’ll be anything BUT what you’re projecting. I can’t see the problem, myself.

You’re a smart person. I just kept hammering the double vodkas. But heh, at least I didn’t fall asleep on the night bus and wake up in Essex like SOME of my bandmates.

But continuing on from the discussion last night, it is important, because it’s about getting A Look and Working It. Which is sometimes more important than actually having the right bone structure.

I get upset because I cannot make my Self a work of art the way I’ve made everything else in my life (my flat, my songs) a work of art.

Oh, I don’t know. I’ll stop thinking about this, and go back to muddling along with my effects patches and Victorian novels.

I’m getting a Wii for Christmas. What are you guys getting for Christmas?

I saw a Carlos Barat interview, someone (OK the NME) asked him if he’d best man Pete at the Wedding to Kate, he said sure, if asked.

Who’d get more excited, NME, Hello or Both the same?

But continuing on from the discussion last night, it is important, because it’s about getting A Look and Working It. Which is sometimes more important than actually having the right bone structure.

Fixed.

I get upset because I cannot make my Self a work of art the way I’ve made everything else in my life (my flat, my songs) a work of art.

Ah, but you have! OK, so it may not be a work of art you’re happy with at the moment, but that just means it’s not finished yet, which is fine of course (whose is finished?).

(All of this is meant to be complimentary, but I’m worried it might not come off like that. My brane is broken.)

x-post...

See, JB, that is the problem. I kinda want to hang onto that precious image of him, because I suspect *that* is my muse.

Problem is, the more you get to know someone, the harder it is to keep the mental image of them. Maybe he’d become someone to talk with down the pub about guitar pedals and why Country is good and Rock is good but Country Rock is BAD. But it’s like... do I really *want* that, or do I want the Bruised Angel Muse?

This is why I don’t want a relationship with him, or to sleep with him—or maybe even to hang out with him after gigs—because that kind of mental image doesn’t survive such commonplace wear and tear.

I’m gonna wait till February then get a wii—all depending on other people not saying that after the novelty wears off, it’s actually shit. I’ll be lucky getting a mug for christmas :(

Getting a Look is VERY important. Our self-esteem is based upon people thinking we’re looking good, so making sure that box is ticked has to be a major plus. Unless your self-esteem is based on something not reliant on other people, in which case it’s less of a priority.

(and since you know what you want out of the fella [just to be the container for a muse and nothing else] then I REALLY don’t see the problem. Esp. if you don’t want to rip his clothes off/ chat over a handshake/ talk about country rock pedals. When it gets to this stage it’s like crushing on a celeb, which is certainly no bad thing.)

Except maybe I do want to rip his clothes off/ chat over a handshake/ talk about country rock pedals. I don’t actually know what I want any more.

I know that what I want is unrealistic and unattainable. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting it.

I fucked up the Great Lost Love Of My Life over this bullshit. That my idea of Being In Love doesn’t survive the daily mundane bullshit.

I want to Be In Love. With a boy, with a bruised angel, with The World, like Maggie Tulliver was afraid of.

Oh, who am I kidding? I know I’m not actually ever going to get what I want, so I pretend like I don’t want it.

And then turn it into something pretty, and call that justification.

I’m having an 80s Movie Night Tonight. We’re going to watch Weekend At Bernie’s. Underrated classic.

Our self-esteem is based upon people thinking we’re looking good

Eh, speak for yourself there, man.

That would also have worked well as a direct reply :)

Of course what I *want* is to fall in love and spend half our time in bed and the other half of the time in the studio, writing beautiful ballads together like Emmylou and Gram.

But I’m not gonna get that. I’m gonna get snatched awkward conversations in the pub when there’s no one more interesting for him to get in his urgent drunken conversations with, and watch him chatting up girls that are doing the same things I was doing 10, 15 years ago.

So I’d rather have nothing except an empty vessel, to fill up with my dreams and inspirations. Because that’s what I get, oh-oh-oh, that’s what I get.

plz 2 have admin

OH, why do I do this? I’ve thought myself unhappy, when this morning I was spinning joy and happiness and glowing with crush.

Sorry, but you need to be at least THIS TALL to be acknowledged on this thread.

I have just realised: you are all now going to think I am posing for porn.

I am *not*—repeat *not*—posing for any sort of pornographic photoshoot. None of my wibbly bits will be on display at all. Well, except maybe my arse. I don’t really know yet. And it may well be NSFW for a lot of people. But it’s not porn!

I’m not trying to be nasty, Kit, but I’ve got a hangover—what do you want, a freaking medal? A pat on the head? You’re acting like the kid who walks into a grown-up conversation, tugs at everyone’s sleeves, complains you don’t understand what we’re talking about, and then throws a tantrum when we don’t pay attention to you.

I’m sorry I’m not interested in games or 80s movies, and I’m sorry you’re not interested in discussions about the dichotomy between appearance and substance in relationships and creative inspiration, but honestly, what do you want me to do about it?

Well, what *are* they if they’re not pr0n, FP? “Art photos”? Or photos of wares on display? ;-)

Our self-esteem is based upon people thinking we’re looking good

I still don’t believe most people who tell me I look good. I start wondering why they’ve said it, and what their ulterior motives are. It takes a *lot* of trust with someone before I can take compliments on my appearance at face value.

Photos: They’re for advertising a particular night at a club I go to—photos for posters and flyers.

Irony is huge.

Grown up conversation? lol.

plz 2 ban.

COSIGN

Our self-esteem is based upon people thinking we’re looking good

Eh, speak for yourself there, man.

I WAS kinda making the point that having a Look is only important if you don’t base your self-esteem on what other people think. I am somewhere between being a paradigm of vanity and a rock of ego isolation—which is maybe why my Look is only half-hearted at the best of times.

Speaking of which, my new look may be suits, and my new Look will be dandy man-about-town. I’ve just found a great vintage suit shop (it’s probably been there for a billion years, but I’ve never seen it before) and I would imagine they’ll do very well out of me in the next few months. I’ve already bought one suit from teh place, and I might wear it to work tomorrow, just because.

Yay to photo’s of FPs arse!

Ha ha, I just read that page you linked to, JB.

For whatever reason, WOMEN tend to LOVE:
-Drama
-Conflict
-Romance
-Famous people and their lives

So... it’s really quite easy to enjoy a conversation with a woman about these topics.

Errrr... women love shopping! Talk about shoes! WTF? Yes, I guess I’m interested in some if not all of those things, but not on a date. That’s girlfriend chat, not date chat.

Here are a few ideas:
1. Play amateur psychologist to the stars. Talk about how someone famous is doing something really stupid, then psycho-analyze them.
For instance... right now, Michael Jackson is something like two hundred million dollars in debt. Even though he makes about twenty million dollars a year, he somehow manages to blow it all and then some. He has spent an unimaginable amount of time and money on plastic surgery and skin bleaching... and he reportedly just spent around seven hundred grand digitally darkening his skin tone in a recent video.
This situation is all kinds of BEGGING to be picked apart with a fine-toothed critical mind.
It’s also PREGNANT with humor opportunities.

2. Find an interesting-looking group of people and guess what’s going on.
Look around you, and find a couple sitting at a table that looks like they’re on their first date. Then start making fun of how the guy is acting, how he’s dressed, his posture, or whatever. Talk about how the woman is thinking that he’s a dork and how he’s not getting any, no matter how many compliments he gives her.
Analyzing what’s going on with a close group of others is big fun, and women love it.

3. Make fun of someone famous. Talk about how a super model is too skinny, or how Ozzy has killed all his brain cells and what a shame it is that he’s on TV broadcasting it to millions of viewers. Make fun of Mariah Carey for gaining weight, being put in the loony bin, and putting out a sucky movie. All you have to do is read a few gossip magazines to get all kinds of great stuff to make fun of. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it’s a great way to talk like you’re all that.

4. Talk about other people’s love lives. Talk about the problems that others are going through when it comes to love and romance, then volunteer completely ridiculous theories about what’s going on. Mention a friend you had who broke up with his girlfriend because she gained weight, then after you’ve told the story, make up a random theory about how women who gain weight are actually lesbians.

Uuuuhhhhhh... is this for real, or is this a parody site? If any guy I was on a date with started talking about any of these topics, I’d think he had NO BRAIN WHATSOEVER and the date would be over pretty quickly.

For real? What to talk about on a first date?

Try to find out what her interests are—ask her what kind of books she has enjoyed recently, what film/tv programmes she watches, what music she likes. Offer to share your own interests after you’ve asked hers—especially if you have any that overlap. Even if you don’t find any overlaps, ask her what it is she likes about them.

Examples:

“Oh, you like Author X, too! Which is your favourite novel of hers? Ooh, I like Novel Z”

or

“Oh, I’m not familiar with Author X—what would you reccomend? What’s the best to start with? What do you like about it? I kinda prefer books that are more like Novel A”

If none of these hit a response that starts a topic of conversation, try to find out about her hobbies. Ask her what she does for fun, what she does on her days off. Ask her what her favourite meal is. Ask her where she grew up, and what kind of a place she lived in.

Just talk like you’re interested in finding out more about her. It doesn’t have to be about the minutia of her life, you’re really just looking for anything that makes her *her*. And if you find something in common—Bonus! You’ve got something to have a proper conversation about.

I may not be a relationship expert, but my god, I feel like I’ve been on a million first dates.

I’m not saying this is a grown-up conversation, Kit, I’m saying that you are acting like a spoiled child because our conversation is not to your liking. Join in, or stop clicking on the thread.

I know it sounds shallow, but dammit, our self esteems *are* partly based on *feeling* like we look good.

The quickest way to feel like you look good is to have someone else tell you this.

Obviously, there are other ways to feel good. And there are other things to prop your self esteem up on (if my self esteem came solely from my looks, I’d have killed myself years ago. My self esteem comes from people telling me my songs are good).

Kate I totally understand where you’re coming from on thee crush. At least I think I do. It’s a similar feeling to that which I was bemoaning the lack of when I said that I missed the thrill of the chase on some other thread back on the real ILE. There’s a real heady rush when crushee kind of in your orbit and you/them is a cross between real stuff/real stuff amplified in yr head/and stuff you really want to happen. Even when you know it’ll come to nothing, the pain is good because you’re...*alive* when you feel this way. But it’s hellish dangerous though. Be careful.

I think I look good today, but I probably don’t.

I’m not saying this is a grown-up conversation, Kit, I’m saying that you are acting like a spoiled child because our conversation is not to your liking.

haha there’s a first time for everything on this thread.

The danger is part of the appeal, Dr. C.

“I know you’re gonna break my heart

Coz that’s what hearts are there for

I know you’re gonna tear me apart

Coz lord knows I’m not careful”

Great for creativity, hell for sanity, but aren’t the best things always?

I HATE crushes with a passion. I think I posted on Watercooler about my last BIG crush—I hated every minute of it. Thinking about something you can’t have all day every day is nothing less than torture.

xpost This is what I need, some first-hand first date experience. I’ll remember that, this is good stuff.

The amusing advice is, I fear, a real life advice site. I reacted the same way that you did—the kind of girl who would find that sort of conversation stimulating isn’t really the kind of girl I’d like converse with.

make up a random theory about how women who gain weight are actually lesbians.

ha ha ha beyond parody.

“Lie to her. It’s okay to lie to women. They’re not people like us.”

Yay for tortured artists!

i like it when people who i have crushes on have crushes on me, but not if it’s otherwise.

Yeh, the unrequited part of it was kind taken as read.

Dr C, today:

My hair’s better than that though.

No, I’m torturing myself, and it’s not working, I just keep snapping back into la la la la crushy crushy crush crush land.

it’s not really that bad to have crushes though, i usually have about 50 on the go at any point.

yeah, man, if you’re having crush problems i feel bad for you son but i’ve got 99 problems but my crush ain’t one HIT ME

I’m kind of staggered that Kate’s advice is “Find out what she likes. Find out what she likes. Find out what she likes. If you run out of that, find out what she’s like.” I mean, it’s not necessarily the case that someone defines themselves by their ‘interests’. Obviously _I_ don’t want to date someone who doesn’t, but that’s just me :)

PS: Best Mark C name ever!

I think the “find out what she likes” was more of a way into a proper conversation, rather than a conversation in itself, yes? No? I mean, one lass who’s emailed me has said that she’s gone to lots of festivals (good sign) and seen such bands as C0ldpl@y and @thl3t3 (v. bad sign). But this doesn’t actually MEAN anything, it’s just a way in to find out what kind of person she is. Some of my best friend like the EXACT OPPOSITE STUFF to me, that doesn’t make them any less cool.

If it was a girl asking, my reply would be “find out what he likes, find out what he likes...”

Sorry, Andrew, but in the world of dating, I kinda *do* have a bit more experience than you. I haven’t always been a celibate misanthrope.

Dating *is* about getting to know someone, and the quickest and easiest way to get to know someone is to get them to talk about themselves. And from that you can proceed to the stuff you have in common. That’s how it *works*.

x-post—Johnny OTM, it’s a way of finding something to talk about.

i think conversations, at a date or otherwise, should be a mixture of things she likes, and things you like. and things that neither of you like.

and never call your date a celibate misanthrope

Well done St Greg! all you have is the internet, yet even here you manage to upset everyone by being an arse!

Keep this up and you’ll make us mere trolls look bad

Did I follow mine own advice, last night? You bet I didn’t! (not that it was a date of any sort, but you know what I mean.)

Well done St Greg! etc etc

D-

must try harder

the D is for Darramouss.

sorry to interrupt, Watercoolants. do continue.

Sorry, Andrew, but in the world of dating, I kinda *do* have a bit more experience than you. I haven’t always been a celibate misanthrope.

I resemble that remark.

Dating *is* about getting to know someone, and the quickest and easiest way to get to know someone is to get them to talk about themselves.

Oh yes, absolutely. So why not get them to talk about themselves?

And from that you can proceed to the stuff you have in common. That’s how it *works*.

Sure, but that seems to me directly opposed to your previous post. Am I missing something?

x-post—Johnny OTM, it’s a way of finding something to talk about.

But the thing you’re trying to get them to talk about is them?

“the D is for Darramouss.”

No, i’m not Darramouss. I think you’re grossly underestimating your ability to inspire the hatred of complete strangers.

I know you’re not Darramouss. You’re more articulate, but tragically, less amusing than him.

D- = You are worse than Darramouss. But don’t take it to heart.

I am perfectly aware of my unrivaled ability to inspire hatred in strangers.

i partly and generally agree with what kate had said, but i wasn’t so sure about the bit about “the quickest and easiest way” thing..

i much prefer to just try and have a good time than seeing a date as some kind of data mining exercise with speed and efficiency being an issue! see in my ideal date either person will just start talking about anything, interest or not, and the other will listen and respond accordingly, with no agenda like “i’m going to find out this this this and this about you by 9:15 and then i’ll tell you how much i like the same thing” because i find that that usually hinders a genuine conversation.

but of course it is not always so straightforward becasue often people go into a date WITH an agenda usually being “I AM GOING TO HAVE TURKED YOU TWICE BY 11:30” but i dunno. i can’t really give good advice because i not often go on blind dates and so when i do go on dates and stuff it’s usually people who i know want me to turk them by 11:30 anyway.. so it’s probably differnet.

maybe the advice is to never go on blind dates unless you’re not really that bothered about being turked.

i don’t go on many dates, either, btw! just in case you think i have swamps of people wanting to turk me all the time

For gods sake, it was just a suggestion to a couple of boys who said that they were having trouble finding conversations on first dates. It’s not the be all and end all of dating advice.

And it’s a fuck of a lot better than what was suggested on the site linked to.

We now return you to my crush, already in progress.

What is turking and can we eat it?

Pork like a turkey?

The other other white meat.

Ah—someone else who uses the word ‘turk’. I though it was just my mate Andy. (not A. Farrell).

But Andrew (Farrell)—good to see you last Friday, sir! Hope you got home safely with yr parcel. Did you see any of teh gig? We started off like Motorhead for the first 5 or 6 songs (according to one of our regular fanz), but ran out of steam a bit for the last few.

I do not want what I cannot have. Repeat to fade.

I WANT I WANT I WANT

God, I need sleep. What should I have for lunch? I’ve got £1.62.