Well done, you! Were there any brilliant ones?
Yes, there were. And, nicely, the best one of all was the second to last one I marked last night.
Best insight: One student, writing about Shakespeare’s Sonnet 20 (the one in which the speaker bemoans the fact that his beloved—a man—is, in fact a man. The speaker suggests that nature fell in love with this creature, and so wanting the beloved for herself, makes him a man by adding “one thing”.), noticed that, unlike the majority of the sonnets, this one has 11 syllables a line (instead of the usual 10). She theorized that the extra syllable at the end of each line represented that “one thing added”. Brilliant!
That must be such a buzz! The stuff which makes it all worthwhile, etc etc.
I remember looking around the hall at my fellow uni students on graduation day, and wondering who amongst us would go on to greatness of any sort in the future (answer = none, really!)
Good morning!
Just a thought: if this thread breasts 1000 posts before ILX3 goes live, will it be replaced with Watercooler Thread -1?
Good morning. I’m exhausted from the walk yesterday. I can’t believe we walked the whole thing!
Ah, that sounds great, Gooblar—though reminds me of something Ian linked to on my blog, ha ha.
Just a thought: if this thread breasts 1000 posts before ILX3 goes live...
you couldn’t have said “reaches”, could you?
“Yeah, the girl’s hair is gold, and then [Silas Marner] is also looking for his missing gold,” Durst said. “So in my paper I said how that was symbolic of something.”
OTM
Last try:
Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain
Aw, yeah! I wish that double rainbow had come out. That was lovely.
I want a boat.
And who on earth left a message on the band MySpace saying I was “dreamy”? Come on, fess up. No one in their right mind would say that unless they were taking the piss.
“The Mazzy Experiment Experience”?
From Jersey, apparently, but no idea.
Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain
My school physics techer said this was rubbish and it was better to just shout ROY-G-BIV! He would come into class in the morning and shout “YOUNG ROY-G-BIV RULES!”—it sounded stupid at the time but it obviously worked as I remember it some 20-odd years later.
Why do we bother with this “indigo-violet” nonsense anyway? Look at the rainbow—it’s quite clearly red-orange-yellow-green-blue-purple-more purple. “indigo-violet” is just poncey pretentious rubbish, the kind of colours you only get in clothing catalogues where they think “blue” sounds too common so they sell you “azure” jeans.
He’s friends with people who are friends of that horrid Ex from Nu Jersey, but don’t recognise him.
Weird.
The “indigo” was added by Newton I think because it was the thing at the time that all natural things should come in 7—like the known planets at the time. It was just one of those “magic numbers”.
xpost Hey fuck off, my jeans are azure!
Azure is my favourite word for a colour. (Learned it a long, long time ago when I was in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat because it is one of the colours his coat was.) It just sounds so lovely.
Azure.
Some day I will meet someone with Azure Eyes, that would be the coolest thing ever.
(It’s almost my favourite colour, as well. Except that is actually Cobalt, which is close, but darker.)
Ed, have you seen the photo I took showing that same part of the Thames but from the north-east rather than the south-west? I’m rather proud of it.
yr favourite depends on monitor/color correction settings, surely?
There was a giant ship docked in front of the sugar factory. I WANTS it! A ship of sugar? With my Sugar Captain?
How does sugar arrive at the Docklands? Like, in what form? It obviously needs to be refined, but is it solid, liquid, super saturated sludge? Or big hunks of sugar cane and/or beets?
Just tons of little sugar packets.
“Cubes” was suggested last night.
Ask the interweb, and you will find out:
http://www.tateandlyle.com/TateAndLyle/our_business/about_our_processes/about_refining/default.htm
Once harvested, the cut canes must be processed as quickly as possible to conserve the sugar and to prevent microbial degradation.This first stage of processing is carried out in factories close to the growing area. The canes are cleaned, crushed and shredded, then sprayed with hot water to extract the juice. The juice is filtered, concentrated by evaporation under vacuum, and crystallised, before being removed from the remaining mother liquor by centrifuge.
Once the economic limit of extraction of sugar from sugar syrups is reached, we are left with the remaining mother liquid, known as ‘molasses’. This is a useful by-product which may be used for fermentation processes or animal feed. Bagasse, the residual fibre from the cane, is mainly used as boiler fuel at the factory.
At this point, the sugar is partly purified and in a concentrated, crystallised, microbiologically stable form suitable for bulk handling, storage and transport to refineries around the world.
The raw cane sugar is despatched by bulk carriers to refining plants usually located close to deep water terminals such as at Tate & Lyle Europe’s refinery in London. The storage shed at our Thames refinery can hold up to 70,000 tonnes – sufficient to supply the refinery for about 20 days of normal production.
Mmmm, molasses.
“Western Brass” (what I did last night)
I have downloaded it and will listen to it this afternoon.
I think it’s coffeetime.
Either that or I’m going to run away and join the Gypsies like Maggie in the Mill on the Floss.
You’ll have to excuse the bad guitar playing! (I’ve been playing lots of keyboard & the guitar is getting a bit neglected these days) Also, demo, half-finished blah blah blah.
Yum, molasses. So sticky. Mmmmmmmmmm.
I’ve had to switch guitars again, from the Jazzmaster back to the Danelectro, because my guitarbag broke over the weekend. Bah.
Let me tell you what isn’t fun—manouvering a flight case on a crowded rush hour train. Bah.
It makes me mad, what with cnutish idiots rambling on complete gobshite about how there aren’t actually any shoegazer guitars in Shimura Curves and I only say there are because I’m “rockist”. Like, WTF do you think is in this case? An Uzi? I wish it were coz I’d gun your sorry ass down like a tarrantino.
The minute someone uses the term “rockist”, I do tend to discount ANYTHING they have to say on whatever subject they’re blowing off about.
I still don’t really know what “rockist” actually means. I’ve tried to find out, believe me. Anyone enlighten me?
Oh, I saw yr pic in that musician’s magazine, the one Sound on Sound bought. I’d have got a copy, but I was stony broke, I’ll pick it up this week. Cool feature on the balalaika as well!
...yeah, and this from a bloke whose first conversation with me was him shooting his mouth off about how much he hated Britney Spears and Girls Aloud because they sounded “manufactured”.
Pot, kettle, etc?
God, he’s *SUCH* an idiot.
Turn round and walk directly away from the subject is my best advice, Greg. Rockism discourse = the surest way to make something that is fun (ie blethering about music) into PURE T-D-UM.
g-kit, don’t worry, no one knows what Rockist means. It’s just one of those insults like “hipster” that only people who actually are what they are derriding ever use.
i.e. it is the ultimate Rockist thing to do, to dismiss someone as “Rockist”.
PBW has uploaded a particularly unattractive photo of himself where he appears to be all mouth. How amusing.
Even my mum thinks that he looks like my brother. She said “PLEASE don’t go out with him, Kate—think what the children would be like!”
As if. Hah ha hah.
No chance of a definition, then?
Also, judging by ILM, discussing music can never be “fun”.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockism
Rockism is an ideology of popular music criticism, originating in the British music press in the late 1970s or early 1980s. The fundamental tenet of rockism is that some forms of popular music, and some musical artists, are more authentic than others. More specifically, authentic popular music fits the rock and roll paradigm; it is made using the basic rock instrumentation of guitars, bass guitars and drums, and fits the structures of a rock and roll song.
...a fine insult from someone dismissing Britney Spears for being inauthentic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockism
(ha, x-post)
The term is sort of malleable though, isn’t it? As in, it can be used to run down any music you don’t like by criticising the process behind its creation (or something).
It’s musical primitivism, essentially.
I think the important paragraph is:
This is as opposed to the notion of manufactured “pop” music, created in assembly line fashion by teams of hired record producers and technicians and performed by pop stars who have little input into the creative process, designed to appeal to a mass market and make profits rather than express authentic sentiments
Because this is, word for word, the kind of crap that Bumlove routinely comes out with about the music that I love.
I always had the impression that it’s not something someone would claim to be, it’s more the kind of thing that one would be accused of being (BY AN ARSEHOLE) in order to avoid having to actually address someone’s argument/belief, IE no-one would actually say “I think this because I am a rockist”. That was before I encountered Wagemann, though.
Isn’t this a case of “Why do I exist doing what I do” type fundamentalism beloved of everyone who runs a record label, ever?
Except in this case, the twat still wants to speak *FOR* and about BANDS WHO ARE NO LONGER ON HIS RECORD LABEL. He’s still trying to impose his aesthetic on us by making snide comments about us on messageboards.
OK, yeah, I’m making snide comments on messageboards in response but you know what? I *wrote* and recorded Stronger, I know what instruments are used on it. The only thing he’s ever written are snide comments on message boards.
Anyway, I’m sick of this twat. I want pointy nosed boys.
Do I have to do *everything* myself? Jeez!
Look at the point on that nose:
I want to get a nose job to have the little lump on the end of my nose that stops it being pointy taken off. How much do nose jobs cost? Can I become a plastic surgery tourist?
Or would I just end up looking like Michael Jackson?
’Stronger’ is a work of genius, Kate. I had a proper good listen to it on myspace last week and it brought tears to my eyes—something about the harmonies and the bells and the hopefulness/vulnerability of it all. I’m a big softy. To cap it all, the lead guitar break is fucking rock city! (btw—I was hoping you would turn up on Friday so I could gush in person).
Don’t pay any attention to record company twit. I guess it’s tiresome having to put up with that shit, but the music speaks for itself, I think.
Is your guitar bag a special Jazzmaster size? I’m gonna get a hard case for mine I think. (Only 4 weeks till I actually **get my hands on** my Jazzy!).
Sorry, Doctor C! I had every intention of going on Friday, but because ILX went down I didn’t get reminded and somehow ended up autopilot straight home (via the pizza parlor) instead. bah. My loss.
No, actually I was using an old bass guitarbag for my Jazzmaster—they’re longer than most guitars so don’t fit in the flight case I already had. Bah. I might go out at lunch and get a new bag if I can. Depends on how much they are. Also I need to get a new strap.
The peg that holds the strap on the Danny has gone, and I replaced it with a giant-headed screw, so I need to get a longer strap—and am probably going to have to tape it to the body so it doesn’t pop out mid-performance. Which would be embarrassing.
I honestly believe music *should* speak for itself. And it does. But you’re always going to get some twat who doesn’t “get it” sticking his oar in and telling people What To Think like he’s Alaistair Cooke (when really he’s just the poor man’s Tony Wilson). I don’t think music fans need that—or if they do, go and read the sodding NME.
Whatever. Anything he does is going to irritate me, it’s just worse when he gets things totally factually WRONG and then sticks my name in it.
What kind of a strap should I get?
I wish I didn’t have a giant wind-up winch sticking out of the back of my back, but I do. :-(
::looks at eyelashes::
::looks at pointy nose::
::calms down::
Shit I wish I was at home, sat @ the synthesiser keyboard instead of here.
this is up for sale less than 2 miles from our house. I wish I was better off! It’s perfect.
Where is this guy throwing the snark @ you, anyway. DiS forum?
That’s a gorgeous house, Pash! Damn, I wish I could afford something like that.
yeah, DiS, which is like... I don’t actually care, I don’t expect anyone there to “get it”. It’s just like... freaking Leave Off, already, you know? He left a snarky comment on the band’s MySpace a few weeks ago, which I deleted. Now he feels he has to step it up again?
And my bandmates are all “oh, well, you bitched about him on your blog, you don’t have a leg to stand on”—but it’s like. I *STOPPED* because everyone was giving me such shit about it. And now he’s starting back up again.
If it’s wrong for me to do it, it’s wrong for *him* to do it, but he just seems to get a free pass to do and say what he likes, and no one calls *him* on it. I’ve dealt with his sort before. I know that the thing to do is just to ignore him, because even slagging him off is giving him the attention that he craves.
It just winds me up and I wish it wouldn’t.
God, how can a boy have such *amazingly* thick eyelashes? It just isn’t fair. He’s got those slighly cat-like Rimbaud eyes, all heavy-lidded and smutty.
Kaet, it’s one of the pavilions at VDNKh in Moscow. Now it’s “Culture” but I assume it used to be Uzebkistan, because it’s got that Central Asian thing going on.
It is very beautiful! I love the contrast of the cobalt roof and the azure sky! Though it wouldn’t be very good for keeping the rain off.
I have longer eyelashes than any other boy. That’s FACT.
Please to post close-ups of your eyelashes as evidence.
plz 2 spell plz 2 correctly
Hush with the pedantery and make with the eyelashes!
Ack, you can’t take my word for it?
Nope. I need photographic proof. For measurement. And comparison.
(And maybe if I ask enough, all the boys of ILX will post pictures of their eyelashes.)
Oh! Suddenly I am reminded! (Probably because of that “100 Greatest American Men” thing someone posted.)
The NME cool list this year!!!
OK, I have never cared about the cool list in my life, and I haven’t even bought the NME in abou 5 years, but...
Did anyone notice something REALLY UNUSUAL about the Top 10 this year?
It’s really not that much of a distinguishing feature to have though, as a boy. It only gets the attention of 45 year old women, who insist that they’re my mum’s lashes, then tell me how jealous they are.
Don’t read NME.
OK, here is the list. Anyone notice anything odd about it—well, not for the entire rest of the population, but definitely for the NME?
1 Beth Ditto (The Gossip)
2 Faris Rotter (The Horrors)
3 Lily Allen
4 Jarvis Cocker
5 Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
6 Kieren Webster (The View)
7 Kate Jackson (The Long Blondes)
8 Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance)
9 Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
10 Lovefoxxx (CSS)
xpost Yay Women!
that post created a big list of errors and shit, anyone who cares.
Those are some fine lashes, sir.
OK, those are long eyelashes. But I think I’d have to see them in person (preferably side by side with PBW’s eyelashes) to decide which are longer.
Yes, Gooblar, hole in one! NME is noticing that the world is actually half female shockah!
(It’s also freaking weird to see someone you’ve spent two weeks in the back of a sweaty van with at number one.)
Yeah it was totally weird to see my little brother at number one last year.
where did i get freckles from?
I wouldn’t admit to being related to an Arctic Monkey!
(I am acting all snarky and dumb-jokey because I’m trying to avoid thinking about my non-existent lesson plan for Gulliver’s Travels.)
How do you expect your students to be bothered reading it, if you can’t be bothered to come up with a lesson plan for it?
Get them to make up their own fake societies of imaginary lands, based on satire of the predominating cultural trends of today. I think that would make them realise the snide wit in Swift.
Bleah, I feel awful today. Sore throat and half asleep.
Right, I’m off to Denmark St. I want to see this thread wall to wall eyelashes, freckles and pointy noses when I get back.
I can’t (expect them..), hence my avoidance techniques. Good idea. I got my first class this morning to break into groups and come up with an ‘essay question’ on GT, which I then took and used to prompt discussion amongst the whole class. Here, write my lesson plan for me!
NME is noticing that the world is actually half female shockah!
Aye, then the editor made an arse of it by spouting some crap about “you can still rock a crowd wearing stilletos” and dropped the cover that was supposed to feature the 5 women in the top ten in favour of Muse.
Argh, hope you’re feeling better, FP.
And garg, is that true, Onimo? Oh god, that is just so depressing. I bought the thing because of the tiny picture of the three women made me open up and see if the list was any good. And then they go and blow it all, with that kind of crap?
I wish I hadn’t bought the thing now.
I sentence Conor to spend the next five years trying to even walk wearing stilettoes. And getting about a dozen of them jacked up his sexist arse.
Oh god, and while i’m on a rant, GAH!!! why do I bother going to guitar shops that aren’t gig sounds?
First one I went in, the gang of about three lads hanging around the door (some of whom worked there) didn’t even move to let me in the shop. OK, you’re not getting my money.
Second shop, the bloke on the desk is helping someone else, so I kinda hang around looking at guitar straps and stuff until he’s nearly done. I go and stand by the desk, very obviously waiting to be served—oh, except for the fact I’m female. Another customer comes up, pushes by me (not even an excuse me)—I let him go as I’m assuming he’s heading out the door, but no. He pushes ahead of me and starts asking the bloke on the desk about harmonicas. Like I’m not even there. I felt like cracking him in the head with a guitar going EXCUSE ME BUT I WAS HERE FIRST!!!
He goes to look at the harmonicas, but dude on the desk is just staring off into space—despite the fact I’m standing there waiting to be served. I had to go and ask someone else to help me. I should really have walked out of the shop and kept going to different shops and only paid my money at a shop that acknowledged females, but you know, it was lunchtime and I did need to get back to my office before the hour was up.
This shit is just so depressing. :-(
I don’t know if he responded to what Allen said or not but it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s true—sounds like the kind of shite he’d say.
It was discussed on the ILM “Worst NME cover” thread just before ILM died (here’s a cached copy of the thread)
The only thing I can be bothered to read *less* than the NME is ILM’s opinions on the NME.
Yeah I know you’re all residents and/or have friends’ couches to crash on, but I might as well ask anyway: any of you have any recommendations for cool/interesting places to STAY in London? I won’t say price is no object, but given that you generally get gouged in London anyway, I usually try to avoid worrying about it too much.
Sorry, no idea. NYC, I could help you with, but I’ve always had relations in London.
Ugh, I feel just... unclean any time I read an ILM thread like that.
ILM nearly killed my enthusiasm for music.
Also, Kitty Empire had a wee go at NME yesterday in the Obs where she succinctly and correctly pointed out that the real reason behind the girl thing happening is AT LAST, NME HAS FEMALE FEATURES EDITOR. Previously the best girljob would be News or Live or being Barbara Ellen. She mentioned that the features editor is the one with the power to determine who gets a cover try in the first place.
In 1993 Riot Grrrrls did a glass ceiling chart emphasising this point and one of us (me) was ticked off by the person who was the NME features editor (male) of the time because “what about RACISM?” Oh FFS. I think I told him if he was so bothered about racism he should find a way to give more work to a certain writer in their office about music other than hip-hop.
There is an irony in there somewhere, considering who the features ed was...
I hear you, Kit. Some of the posters there make me feel PHYSICALLY ILL even just reading their words. Dom calling Beth Ditto “fat” Like, uh, looked in the mirror lately, dough-boy?
x-post ... I feel a bit let down, and I kinda wish I didn’t know that about the cover substitution. Because my first response on seeing that list was “Ohmigod, has the NME just got its collective period?”
See also the running Plan B letters column of people going “blah blah, what’s with all the women on the cover, are you just trying to prove a point?” or something like that to Frances or ET, and Frances put them down quite succinctly, saying “no, we put these bands on the cover because WE LIKE THEM”
My boss does not appear to be back from holiday yet. Maybe I should at least try to get some work done today. Sigh.
Onimo beat me to the nme thing.
If you treat the internets like a competition you can only end up a loser.
Today’s my last day teaching at the castle :-(
Aw, Mr G.
I’ve often thought that we’ll only know we’ve got over sexism when people stop making any sort of fuss about overcompensating. The Plan B editorial management presumably have reached that phase—clearly the letter-writers haven’t. And the same goes for other -isms too, of course.
Anyway, my sore throat is still sore, and (for other reasons) I’m feeling a bit emo. I need to pull my finger out of my arse,* talk to the woman who wants me as just a body to play with (whilst dating other men as potential boyfriend material) and say: “look, you know, this just isn’t what I’m looking for”. If I can, I should do it *before* my forthcoming date (with someone who knows all about the situation and how I feel about it, but, even so, you know)
* not literally. Both my hands are on the keyboard right now.
kerr that was meant to be light-hearted but reading it again it’s rather cuntish. Sorry.
xxp to me