Dear ILE - a plea

I wouldn't like it. So I do tend to stay on threads where I know people will be civil to me and, by and large, to each other. I think if someone was actually rude to me I would leave and never come back.

tbqh i have FAR less problem with the back-and-forth mark is complaining about than attempts at actual character advice, eg

"Also, seriously man, burying everything in leetspeak and ILX in-jokes doesn't make you look adorable, it makes you look incomprehensible and defensive.
-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), February 14th, 2007."

and something similar mark said to teh kit the other day. i thought teh kit was dead wrong wrt louis and dog latin preceisely because it was never really personal but based on comedy internet personas; it's when the 'you could be a better person' craps somes in that i start to worry.

personae surely

this is correct but a lot of the stuff aimed at l jagger goes waaay beyond comedy banter (the clue is when it's not funny) or what he could reasonably have expected to have brought on himself. lots of people seem unable to tell when they're crossing the line from banter into vicious bullying - a lot of these people have fairly obvious psychological/emotional 'issues' though so it makes sense.

I'm sorry, but "be excellent to each other" isn't such a big ask, is it?

1) nasty 90% of the time, or
2) gets 2 posts a day.

Enrique - this recent trend towards revisionism on ILX 'Oh it was always zings and cartoonishness' is quite bizarre, considering you've been around quite a while by this stage - not that it's all you by any stage. A lot of people have made friends through ILX, this is not an insignificant part of What It Means to many.

The Lex OTM.

Also, there are different cultures and age groups and lifestyles at work here, and what may seem like "playful kidding around" to one person is utterly offensive and unacceptible bullying to another.

this is something i tend to try to factor in, ie there are several people who i expect little more from than lame attempts to bully others over the internet (am not sure which is lamer - when it's ineffectual because it's the internet and they're only hardmen in front of a computer; or when, as per the l jagger googlebait thread, when it actually becomes potentially harmful). but what mark said - the conversion of friendly, respectful people into part of the bullying hivemind is the most depressing - is probably the worst aspect of it, when people you know can and have been civil suddenly join in the bullying (cf dan perry's borderline-homophobic comments towards me yesterday, which were more of a nasty shock than dom and ethan's outright homophobic ones)

This is an interesting point... Maybe the younger people who've grown up with the Internet have a different attitude towards this kind of stuff, whereas older and less net-experienced people expect the same sort of civility as in real life to work here.

Hrrrrr. To contrast, there's a group of older people who have been on the interweb since the dawn of time usenet, who have a more pleasant reccollection of when ILX (or indeed the interweb) was smaller and more well behaved.

I may be called patronising for saying this, but something I try (operative word: try) to remember in my interactions with some people is that what a 20 year old American male finds hilarious and funny is probably not the same thing that a mid 30s female is going to find amusing. Nor should it be.

Tact is something which usually must be learned through experience - I certainly was never tactful when I was 20. I was just lucky enough not to have to do my growing up so painfully in public.

-- temporary enrique (miltonpinsk...), February 14th, 2007. (temporary enrique)

really, enrique? really?

-- lexpretend (lexusjee...), February 14th, 2007.

Lex, I am prepared to transfer, immediately, £1,000 pounds into either your Paypal account or your bank account if you can show me a Livejournal account, or in fact any evidence, of me having been dumped at any point in the past... 13 months?

£1,000. Cash money /Wilmer Valderamma.

That offer stands for "others" as well. £1,000 per person.

up to this point i got really excited. woohoo easy money etc.
then lost interest

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-- Dom Passantino (juror...), January 25th, 2007.

xp

This is all my own opinion but the amount of hypocrisy displayed on any of these meta threads always amazed me. Mark has already had a go at people (incl. me if I read it correctly) about this 'bullying hivemind.' FFS people, I'm not a bad person! I genuinely don't think that anyone on ILX is necessarily BAD but I do think that people don't know when to stop or don't have enough consistency between what they accuse others of doing and practice themselves. I can see so many cases of someone calling someone else out for what they have done only recently!

I actually like ILX, there are people on it that I feel dislike ILX but can't help themselves. Like any community there are the winder-uppers, the shit-stirrers and the downright snarky but it's all online. ILX means a lot to people, it's made people friends and at one point we even had a houseband! Come on, the same old zings are getting boring at this point. Just to pick an example that has already been mentioned a couple of times: LJ. In the beginning he was treated in a manner that surprised nearly everyone but has become one of us. The zings need to end as does holding him or anyone (including Mic3key who I had a go at on the BLAM as barman thread I will admit over a perceived negative-toned thread hijacking [ref. to Mark earlier in post]) up to ridicule.

I have certain posters I have issues with, we all do. We all just need to learn to ignore things. You don't need a killfile, you need self control.

the hell?!

MIA?

Kevin, the posters we have issues with need to learn to ignore us ;)