domestic outrages chronicle

i am surprised you can even bring yourself to type the words "jumping" and "beans" in the same sentence

i had an ugly grimace on my dial while i typed.

(a different one from the default.)

you were scowling and the wind chimichanged

lollll.

it's pretty easy: double check that tupperware containers are really, truly closed tightly before shaking vigorously.

all safe so far thk g-d

*blessed*

sandbox sna looks like the morning after a party.

like an innocent room a conga passed through by mistake

a cigarette stubbed out in a cold fried egg.

my parents' oven is far too advanced for my poor self and after baking my dressing for 20 min longer than the recipe indicated and playing with the temp we finally discovered it was at 280 not 350. Nervous it is going to be terrible.

i bet it was perfectly fine, great even. happy thanksgiving!

it was kinda crispy :(
(Not in a good way)

what does this Douglas Fir tree think it's doing, shedding this much

pine needles everywhere

I have to vacuum the whole house, sweep the porch, and sweep the sidewalk

outrage

I bought decorations from the stall a friend has set up and I hung up a holly bough with prolonged difficulty and got covered in fake snow and glitter and I have not been allowed to wash it off all evening because it is too delicious in the eyes of herself

finished painting my room. finished in that i am just tired of painting but i will continue to find light spots and sloppy cutting in for the rest of my life but oh well! also patched hole in wall caused by burglar almost a year ago but didn't measure it before buying the patch and it's a patch for a large hole. i could have done it with just mesh but i got a steel plate which i can see.

in non-outrage news i painted my room! also hung heavy mirror from wall. fun drilling.

Yay painting! I've been meaning to do that for at least a year...

it's putting up the christmas tree day at my house and these tiny delicate glowing lights are being a pack of cunts.

<3

oh my god those fucking lights!

One will note there are no (holiday) lights in my home...

working on some (one) home projects this week. which mostly means looking at people's dumb blogs about how to hang shelves and make furniture. i need to totally redo my kitchen but don't have money, which has led to me procrastinating with even the small project of putting up shelves in this useless corner of my kitchen so i can get things out of the way. because why put up shelves when i'm going to redo it...in 5 years. i got some plywood and track shelving and just did it yesterday. it doesn't look too pretty but there's finally nothing on the floor! the outrageous part of this is how bad i am at drilling screws into wood. i'm gonna need some new drill bits as i am ruining mine by drilling incorrectly. i finished the screws with a screwdriver.

also i'm going to make my own coffee table. let's see how stupid this looks!

oh also ordered curtains from west elm + blackout panels for my bedroom because those outrageous jerks from BGE said i had to let them take down the tree behind me because it was growing into the power lines and now the flood lights from the masonry business make my room not so dark!!!!

Pilot holes are essential for wood drilling imo. I'm outraged about that tree!

good idea, harbl! they are taking down seventy trees in my neighborhood because because of the crazy "microburst" last summer. A big and beautiful tree used to block the dumpster behind my building but now it is in full view :(

i did do pilot holes! i think i just hold the drill wrong maybe. idk.

Rub bar soap on the screw threads maybe? If the bit is slipping off the screw head, it might be at an angle instead of aligned straight into it but it could be that the threads are seizing up.

trying to balance uncontrollably blasting radiator heat by opening one's windows to temperatures in the teens (F) requires srs calculation

u don't have temp staff for that

two days for that, what a world

why what class stamp did you pay for

the birds in my kitchen exhaust vent are back :(

we have a rat infestation :(

they shit everywhere (BIG shits!) and oh god the smell of their pee

You win :(

showed up to new place yesterday to find that girl moving out was not even close to being done packing/cleaning/moving out. latest move in estimate is tomorrow? arghhh subleasing!!!

!

Me too!

but its ok our old landlord doesnt need place tonight so its kinda chill

BUT STILL gtfo ur old house I want it pls

like who moves out of a place at 6pm rly

t why are you going to MN? new jobz?

my jobz is making my house be seriously bad. i need some relax/gym/reading time bc i'm going to work tomorrow so i'm not even really gonna clean it up. except a little of the kitchen.

yes, new job! I start tuesday and I wld really like a place to live now pls :(

this girl is in serious denial and doesn't seem to care about my need for a place to live...yet wants me to care about all her 390 reasons she didn't get her shit out in time. lady, I had oral surgery on tuesday and still managed to make sure my place was empty and clean Tuesday afternoon (pro tip: hire help), then drove 1000+ miles. I don't rly care about your sob stories.

that is so rude and annoying for you, good luck with your new job and house and good luck to you too deems. the same thing happened to us once, we were renting off the owner and when we turned up with our truck she claimed we were a day early which luckily we had in writing we were not, and then the house never felt sorted because the handover was such a shambles.

i just addressed a rotten carnations in water situation and now there is a shocking stench in the laundry.

we are in and well ty but we appear to have a catpissy cupboard any ideas obv I'm outraged

take the cupboard outside and blow it up on the lawn

or

buy some carnations and put them in water and leave them in the cupboard for a week (maybe six weeks in your climate which a quick check of the weather channel has just told me is currently 25 degrees C cooler than ours) anyway you will soon forget all about the catpiss or at least think back on it with fond nostalgia.

it is at least that much colder

experience tells me that things go away much less quickly when you buy them flowers pray deliver an explanation as to why catpiss may be the exception

or at least give me a line to feed stace when a pissy cupboard ive only just met gets the lovey dovey treatment that she may herself (despite all outward projection tbf) have been craving this ten odd years

gut feeling sez you'd get yr outrage followed v quickly by a domestic