domestic outrages chronicle

in that case i have changed my hope.

why is there never a giant delicious stash of chocolate or caramel hidden in the desk when you need one?

tried port and caught another 10-12 hard to tell when they are all clumped up in a tiny glass

i worked on cleaning the bathroom this weekend. my house is really cluttered and dusty. i always think "this weekend i will clean" and fail every time. so i am just going to work on going from back to front. bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, other room i don't know what it is. rowhouse apartments can feel like loooooong narrow studio apartments which makes it feel more overwhelming for me to clean somehow.

Otm. I cleaned out the bathroom cabinet - an entire bag of garbage was the result, v satisfying. Decluttered the living room a couple weeks before. Next is the hall closet, a couple weeks from now is the garage. I have about an hour limit on cleaning, breaking it down into small separate parts makes it more likely I will actually do it.

yup an hour is about it. i took a long break to eat lunch. i need to get my shower curtain into the laundry while there is a thunderstorm and then go running. if i write it down maybe i will do it.

there was a fruit fly putting on an aviation show inside the refrigerator.

Blatant little bugger.

I let the sunshine and fresh air into the house on the weekend, and all it did was point out my slovenly housekeeping.

i am not a very avid cleaner, cooking is the only domestic activity i am enthusiastic about.

the only solution to my domestic woes is arson

squalor is better than ashes, i think. also less dangerous. and less illegal.

There is a small dog's worth of hair covering my apartment if i don't vacuum more frequently than every three days :( I try not to be outraged because i know she can't help it, but it is pretty darn outrageous!

i saw the first fruit fly of the year

since it's just the one maybe you could make a jarbl out of a thimble.

in related news we are having a problem with sugar ants :-(

i'm experimenting with a jarbl variation which is really just some pancake syrup on a piece of waxed paper. jergins reports that we have one victim so far.

of course now i feel guilty.

lol @ victim

^ ban iirc

okay it's not working. the victim has freed himself after gorging on syrup, and none of the others seem interested. just 6 ants wandering aimlessly around the countertop.

jergins swiped up the wanderers with a sponge, and the experiment has thusly concluded.

jergins otm as usual

There are tiny ants in my office. I find them on the whiteboard during meetings. Its weird but they are mostly harmless. We have those liquid trap things that worked ok last year but not so much yet this year.

they sound cunning, i wouldn't relax if i were you.

i had them in another apt and used traps that were like little homes they would crawl into to get poisoned before crawling away to die somewhere. they worked pretty good.

so i guess not traps, they went in and then out

For healthier, happier fruit flies: http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/18/teen-scientist-says-fruit-flies-prefer-organic

uhhh, ant problem maximized itself over night. gross.

now i'm sort of terrified to leave for a week, because what if they take over??!!!

if I spot your furniture parading slowly down the street, I promise to make them put it back before you get home.

thank you, neighbor!

Bumpy arsed pan makes omelettes stick and makes me outrage

there are baby birds in my kitchen exhaust fan what do I do??

oh god

i think it's time for a jarbl. so many of these little guys and there's not even much food around. also windows are closed.

i had to ask someone what a jarbl was

lol who did you ask? what answer were you given?

lol! just some lady at the grocery store i imagine

i asked a sandboxer, since i assumed the name was sandboxish and might be different in other realms

i was told it's to do with the punishment of fruit flies

alternatively you could've read the thread. in fact, i would recommend it, on account of it's fucking funny.

;)

Mookie, were you embarrassed to ask here?

I bought a pre-marinated pork loin a while ago because it was on sale for $5. I stuck it in the freezer for whenever. Just cooked it and it is inedibly salty :( I am outraged.

it's jarbltime

always

:(

i have another sandbox confession and this time it's almost certainly a yellow card minimum

:(

it's much worse than when i voted for discouraging harbl, which didnt in any way reflect my true feelings on that subject

o dear

i googled the right term and i am trepidatious

so i stayed up and figured out a guitar lick or two nbd right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Nvr3t68nf8