domestic outrages chronicle

This 8 story office building in downtown Birmingham is seriously infested with fruit flies and needs, like, 1 million jarbls.

Or, 1 gigantic one, suspended in the atrium.

imagine it. it might be quite artistic, if a bit serrano.

I am imagining a peppery jarbl :)

haha 1 million jarbls :)

i hoarded a package of jaffas and now they're stale :(

tsk.

i am acquiring a roommate

he's an acquaintance and is a good dude, although his name does not really suitably accept a -bl at its end.

i am sure it will be fine and perhaps even good, but i don't really want to live with anyone except my ex and my her cat?

i dunno -- it's been quite a while now and there were reasonable reasons for us to have split but somehow it seems even more difficult now than it was a year ago

i had to read this a few times because i wasn't sure if you were talking about getting a new cat or a human roommate. i am very tired.

we accidentally discovered the perfect jarbl concoction this week: whiskey soda with lime and ice, half consumed and left on the counter amidst myriad other neglected drinking, dining, and cooking accoutrements, till it becomes opaque and develops a thickish skin. the friut flies just dive right in and pickle themselves, even without the trickery of t-cut cellophane.

disgusting but effective.

we wondered why the invasion had abated mid-season, despite the unwashedness of practically every dish in the house, when all the while the wee drunks were quietly drowning their sorrows in a forgotten cocktail hiding behind a stack of plates.

i found some camping inside a plastic bag i had left on the table because it had a tomato inside :(

i'm sorry that's not why i left it on the table. i left it on the table because i am disgusting. the flies were in the bag because a tomato was inside.

i'm not sorry that's not why i left it on the table. i'm sorry in general.

<3

it makes me laugh with such great fondness harbl

although his name does not really suitably accept a -bl at its end.

i simply cannot parse this

but i'm sorry, mookieproof, that you're feeling blue. breaking up is hard to do.

me: i don't know why it makes me so happy to post about jarbls, but it does.
jergins: not a bad thing.

i fondly called harry a 'rotten little jarbl' the other day and when i realised what i had just said i wtfed myself.

i love all of you!!!

having a fruit fly problem what with the abundance of nectarines & pluots & plums & melons

left out my usual half glass of sherry (port is good too)
9 drowned flies in less than 4 hours

i left an empty wine glass and found 10 flies playing inside it

my soon-to-be-roommate's name is rossbl

see what i mean?

rossibly

i hope he is not irascibl

jaq otm, but i vehemently wag my finger at you, estela

in that case i have changed my hope.

why is there never a giant delicious stash of chocolate or caramel hidden in the desk when you need one?

tried port and caught another 10-12 hard to tell when they are all clumped up in a tiny glass

i worked on cleaning the bathroom this weekend. my house is really cluttered and dusty. i always think "this weekend i will clean" and fail every time. so i am just going to work on going from back to front. bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, other room i don't know what it is. rowhouse apartments can feel like loooooong narrow studio apartments which makes it feel more overwhelming for me to clean somehow.

Otm. I cleaned out the bathroom cabinet - an entire bag of garbage was the result, v satisfying. Decluttered the living room a couple weeks before. Next is the hall closet, a couple weeks from now is the garage. I have about an hour limit on cleaning, breaking it down into small separate parts makes it more likely I will actually do it.

yup an hour is about it. i took a long break to eat lunch. i need to get my shower curtain into the laundry while there is a thunderstorm and then go running. if i write it down maybe i will do it.

there was a fruit fly putting on an aviation show inside the refrigerator.

Blatant little bugger.

I let the sunshine and fresh air into the house on the weekend, and all it did was point out my slovenly housekeeping.

i am not a very avid cleaner, cooking is the only domestic activity i am enthusiastic about.

the only solution to my domestic woes is arson

squalor is better than ashes, i think. also less dangerous. and less illegal.

There is a small dog's worth of hair covering my apartment if i don't vacuum more frequently than every three days :( I try not to be outraged because i know she can't help it, but it is pretty darn outrageous!

i saw the first fruit fly of the year

since it's just the one maybe you could make a jarbl out of a thimble.

in related news we are having a problem with sugar ants :-(

i'm experimenting with a jarbl variation which is really just some pancake syrup on a piece of waxed paper. jergins reports that we have one victim so far.

of course now i feel guilty.

lol @ victim

^ ban iirc

okay it's not working. the victim has freed himself after gorging on syrup, and none of the others seem interested. just 6 ants wandering aimlessly around the countertop.

jergins swiped up the wanderers with a sponge, and the experiment has thusly concluded.

jergins otm as usual

There are tiny ants in my office. I find them on the whiteboard during meetings. Its weird but they are mostly harmless. We have those liquid trap things that worked ok last year but not so much yet this year.

they sound cunning, i wouldn't relax if i were you.

i had them in another apt and used traps that were like little homes they would crawl into to get poisoned before crawling away to die somewhere. they worked pretty good.