domestic outrages chronicle

that's perfect! i need a container because i don't want to use a jar i want to keep around. they were gone because i went away for a few days. all i had to do was cut a tomato and they magically reappeared. ARGHHHHHHHHHBLS

this is such a quality thread and

f. overheard me calling a kitchen implement 'fucko'.

― estela

is in my top five favourite posts.

my favourite thing about irl-estela is hearing her swear ^_^

i love this thread and that post too, ruby.

the season's first fruit fly appeared last night.

<3 i've been thinking a lot about how much i loved seeing you all in april.

lately my sister keeps phoning me and calling various people cunts in a pleased defiant voice tone that i have always admired and so far her list has been spot on.

she's trying to finish a phd so she has my sympathy and my ear.

This 8 story office building in downtown Birmingham is seriously infested with fruit flies and needs, like, 1 million jarbls.

Or, 1 gigantic one, suspended in the atrium.

imagine it. it might be quite artistic, if a bit serrano.

I am imagining a peppery jarbl :)

haha 1 million jarbls :)

i hoarded a package of jaffas and now they're stale :(

tsk.

i am acquiring a roommate

he's an acquaintance and is a good dude, although his name does not really suitably accept a -bl at its end.

i am sure it will be fine and perhaps even good, but i don't really want to live with anyone except my ex and my her cat?

i dunno -- it's been quite a while now and there were reasonable reasons for us to have split but somehow it seems even more difficult now than it was a year ago

i had to read this a few times because i wasn't sure if you were talking about getting a new cat or a human roommate. i am very tired.

we accidentally discovered the perfect jarbl concoction this week: whiskey soda with lime and ice, half consumed and left on the counter amidst myriad other neglected drinking, dining, and cooking accoutrements, till it becomes opaque and develops a thickish skin. the friut flies just dive right in and pickle themselves, even without the trickery of t-cut cellophane.

disgusting but effective.

we wondered why the invasion had abated mid-season, despite the unwashedness of practically every dish in the house, when all the while the wee drunks were quietly drowning their sorrows in a forgotten cocktail hiding behind a stack of plates.

i found some camping inside a plastic bag i had left on the table because it had a tomato inside :(

i'm sorry that's not why i left it on the table. i left it on the table because i am disgusting. the flies were in the bag because a tomato was inside.

i'm not sorry that's not why i left it on the table. i'm sorry in general.

<3

it makes me laugh with such great fondness harbl

although his name does not really suitably accept a -bl at its end.

i simply cannot parse this

but i'm sorry, mookieproof, that you're feeling blue. breaking up is hard to do.

me: i don't know why it makes me so happy to post about jarbls, but it does.
jergins: not a bad thing.

i fondly called harry a 'rotten little jarbl' the other day and when i realised what i had just said i wtfed myself.

i love all of you!!!

having a fruit fly problem what with the abundance of nectarines & pluots & plums & melons

left out my usual half glass of sherry (port is good too)
9 drowned flies in less than 4 hours

i left an empty wine glass and found 10 flies playing inside it

my soon-to-be-roommate's name is rossbl

see what i mean?

rossibly

i hope he is not irascibl

jaq otm, but i vehemently wag my finger at you, estela

in that case i have changed my hope.

why is there never a giant delicious stash of chocolate or caramel hidden in the desk when you need one?

tried port and caught another 10-12 hard to tell when they are all clumped up in a tiny glass

i worked on cleaning the bathroom this weekend. my house is really cluttered and dusty. i always think "this weekend i will clean" and fail every time. so i am just going to work on going from back to front. bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, other room i don't know what it is. rowhouse apartments can feel like loooooong narrow studio apartments which makes it feel more overwhelming for me to clean somehow.

Otm. I cleaned out the bathroom cabinet - an entire bag of garbage was the result, v satisfying. Decluttered the living room a couple weeks before. Next is the hall closet, a couple weeks from now is the garage. I have about an hour limit on cleaning, breaking it down into small separate parts makes it more likely I will actually do it.

yup an hour is about it. i took a long break to eat lunch. i need to get my shower curtain into the laundry while there is a thunderstorm and then go running. if i write it down maybe i will do it.

there was a fruit fly putting on an aviation show inside the refrigerator.

Blatant little bugger.

I let the sunshine and fresh air into the house on the weekend, and all it did was point out my slovenly housekeeping.

i am not a very avid cleaner, cooking is the only domestic activity i am enthusiastic about.

the only solution to my domestic woes is arson

squalor is better than ashes, i think. also less dangerous. and less illegal.

There is a small dog's worth of hair covering my apartment if i don't vacuum more frequently than every three days :( I try not to be outraged because i know she can't help it, but it is pretty darn outrageous!

i saw the first fruit fly of the year

since it's just the one maybe you could make a jarbl out of a thimble.

in related news we are having a problem with sugar ants :-(

i'm experimenting with a jarbl variation which is really just some pancake syrup on a piece of waxed paper. jergins reports that we have one victim so far.

of course now i feel guilty.

lol @ victim

^ ban iirc