Watercooler Sub Zero: Ice Capades

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DHL I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING TWATS FUCKING WASTE OF TWATTING OXYGEN i have been waiting in the flat ALL FUCKING DAY with a BIG FUCKOFF SIGN on the front door saying THERE IS SOMEONE IN, PLEASE KNOCK or call this number etc and just called them and their FUCKING TWATTING TWUNTING SHITFERBRAINS DRIVER says "COULD NOT BE REACHED" FUCKING LYING SHITBAG CUNTING SCUM I HOPE YOU FUCKING CRASH AND DIE ON YOUR WAY HOME TONIGHT

― emsk ( emsk ), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:34 (seventeen years ago) link

but then they'll never reach you :\\

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Thingbringers be scunners like that.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:36 (seventeen years ago) link

maybe the dead driver will be replaced with one who isn't a TOTAL CRETINOUS MORON

― emsk ( emsk ), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:37 (seventeen years ago) link

srsly i want all these fuckers to die. you are fucking up people's lives, you TWATS.

i think i am going to have a cup of tea.

― emsk ( emsk ), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Where do you have to trek to to retrieve the thing from the thingbringer?

I shall join you in a cup of tea, and maybe some crystallised ginger with it.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:40 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't get it - they just make more work for selves having to bring things a second time.

― suzy artskooldisko (suzy artskooldisko), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Rarely. Most of the time you have to go to the depot.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 28 December 2006 16:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Last time - Phil's book - I made them bring it and they did.

― suzy artskooldisko (suzy artskooldisko), Thursday, 28 December 2006 17:04 (seventeen years ago) link

this is the THIRD

― emsk ( emsk ), Thursday, 28 December 2006 17:27 (seventeen years ago) link

oops

i mean

this will be the THIRD time, stupid dumb fuckers

the depot is in enfield and it is 200 cds so going to get it myself is totally out of the question.

― emsk ( emsk ), Thursday, 28 December 2006 17:28 (seventeen years ago) link

i feel slightly calmer and am going to have an beer

i am still SO FUCKED OFF AT THEM though

― emsk ( emsk ), Thursday, 28 December 2006 17:29 (seventeen years ago) link

the question is did the beer help or did loosening up just get you more angry?

― substitute, mitya for him (mitya), Friday, 29 December 2006 08:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I work for a company whose repertoire includes thingbringing.

Trust me, thingbringers are rubbish. The worst story I've heard about our staff was one driver who had a big heavy oven to deliver, saw a rather long and step-filled path from lorry to house, so stove in the oven door with his boot before the recipient spotted him. "Sorry love, I didn't think you'd want it like this, warehouse staff must have done it, don't worry they'll get a replacement out as soon as they can."

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 29 December 2006 09:25 (seventeen years ago) link

In other news, steam trains! Chuffing Nora!

http://www.symbolicforest.com/img/onblog/gcr2.jpg

http://www.symbolicforest.com/img/onblog/gcr5.jpg

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 29 December 2006 09:29 (seventeen years ago) link

just that story makes me angry, FP!

ah trains!

― substitute, mitya for him (mitya), Friday, 29 December 2006 09:36 (seventeen years ago) link

that makes me mad too fp. there aren't even any steps up to our house, the front door is like one metre back from the pavement. and the boxes aren't that heavy, they're a bit unwieldy but i can carry two at a time if i know where i'm going well enough that i don't have to look.

― emsk ( emsk ), Friday, 29 December 2006 10:43 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't agree with what they do either, but it's not something I have any say over. The warehouse staff are even worse.

(although the one time the Management thought valuable stuff was being nicked, it turned out just to be that they'd lost a few pallets - they found them again a few months later. The only stuff they actually nick are the toilet rolls from the loos)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 29 December 2006 11:57 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate home delivery network. My mums always getting stuff delivered by them and It's usually me who has to wait in for it as my mum has to take turns staying over at my grans to look after her(my gran is 93 and housebound)
And everytime they come the guy doesn't ring the doorbell. He just gives a light chap to the letterbox that is impossible to hear.(we have a porch so theres another interior door).
When we tell the prat to ring the doorbell he always says "most peoples doorbells never work so we dont ring them" Despite each time telling him OURS WORKS.
This has happened on about 6 occasions now.
The 2nd last time my dad called him an arsehole hahaha.

The last time i had to print out on a bit of paper PLEASE RING DOORBELL and stick it to the door.
It was a different driver who did indeed ring it.

oh and hello all.

― pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 29 December 2006 13:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Ugh. Seems like there is a kind of maths formula where, if the recipient is actually missing per-hour work to take delivery of a package, the thingbringer is more likely to be deceitful.

FP, sounds like yr firm's guy was proud of stoving in that oven. Did he face any consequences for doing this, or are they in some kind of sick competition WRT who can fuck over the customer most comprehensively?

Often postmen will leave a 'sorry you were out' when you're in because they never had your parcel to begin with.

― suzy artskooldisko (suzy artskooldisko), Friday, 29 December 2006 13:36 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know Suzy - this happened some time before I joined, and I don't know any of the staff over there well enough to know exactly who did it even. The story's told very much in a "don't let the Management find out" way.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 29 December 2006 13:39 (seventeen years ago) link

i wonder if there's a market for a home-delivery specialist company (at least in london) that will be ideal for all things home-deliverable for fulltime-working households. it wouldn't cost that much more to hire folks running on evening shift, and most people i bet will be happy to pay a slight premium to not have to skip work?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 December 2006 13:50 (seventeen years ago) link

It's almost worth getting a box at Kinko's and getting stuff delivered there. (I get stuff sent to the office most of the time, but it's a small company so it's acceptable).

― Ed (dali), Friday, 29 December 2006 13:52 (seventeen years ago) link

You'd make more money as a premium service because in reality the operating costs would be less than daytime in Central London, at least, because company would not have to pay c-charges nor would there be a major parking risk after 6.30 in all but the greediest parts of Westminster.

― suzy artskooldisko (suzy artskooldisko), Friday, 29 December 2006 13:56 (seventeen years ago) link

hurrah!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 29 December 2006 14:25 (seventeen years ago) link

it's definitely a good idea. what kind of stupidarse idea is it only to deliver in working hours anyway? fucknuts. so since last night there has been a sign on next door telling them my front door is in x direction, plus two signs on my front door, one saying DHL PLEASE READ THIS in massive letters and the other one with all the please-knock-door-call-this-number stuff on. yesterday the guy told me he'd ask them to get it here by 12 if poss. at 12 i called them and they said it had gone out and would be here by 3 at the latest. at 3 i called them and they said it hadn't even gone out for delivery today. AAARRHJJJ CUNTYCUNTYCUNTYFUCKNUTS IHATETHEM THEY ARE FUCKING WITH MY LIFE.

and now i missed the start of the pub crawl, all because these twats can't rustle up a fucking brain cell between the lot of them.#

― emsk ( emsk ), Friday, 29 December 2006 15:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Mornin!

― M Grout (Mark Grout), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 09:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Mornin! I slept most of yesterday. Isn't that was the 1st January's for?

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 09:33 (seventeen years ago) link

I wish!

I ended up here at 02:00 coudn't sleep etc

― M Grout (Mark Grout), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 09:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Morning.

My new supervisor starts today. I haven't met him yet - he's been stuck in the boss's office since 9am.

Have just found that when we set up the recorded phone messages to say "Happy Christmas! We're not in!", I cocked up. I *actually* set them up to say "Happy Easter! We're not in!" and noone bothered to check.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 09:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Morning all, happy new year, I am off to sunny belgium this afternoon.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:06 (seventeen years ago) link

Also I'm keen to do a rolling walk on Sunday but I am in no position to organise.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:09 (seventeen years ago) link

It's all very quiet round these parts...

Highlight: The kids got a karaoke video camera unit thingy, we plugged it in and they did passable versions of "HotHotHot" and "YMCA".

Amber took the mic for "Girlfriend" by N-Sync. I didn't know the song, let alone Amber, but she read the lyrics in a flat loud monotone in pure classic Drimble Wedge and the Vegetations style (See: Peter Cook in Bedazzled) but much much better lyrics for it..

"He does not love you.
He will never love you.."

(we were all crying but thankfully Amber did't notice or wasn;t bothered)

― M Grout (Mark Grout), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Particularly this bit:

In the middle of the night
Is he gonna be by your side?
Or will he run and hide?
You don't know cause things ain't clear
And baby when you cry
Is he gonna stand by your side?
Does the man even know you're alive?

Leonard Cohen, eat your heart out!

― M Grout (Mark Grout), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:24 (seventeen years ago) link

ahhh Belgium. Where are you going, Ed? I have to say that central Brussels in the snow is one of the most beuatiful urban sights I have ever seen.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Dendermonde (probably staying at the IBIS by the Aalst motoway junction)

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:29 (seventeen years ago) link

never heard of it I'm afraid - from the name I'm guessing Wallonia?

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:30 (seventeen years ago) link

No Flanders, just south east of Ghent. I went there late last year. Possible to get a decent meal and a beer is about all I found out about it.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:36 (seventeen years ago) link

When I was in Bruges a couple of years ago I first experienced the joys of Kwak. Beer in an hourglass frame!

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:44 (seventeen years ago) link

morning! i seem to have some kind of not very pushy stomach bug. i am at work though, and think it's ok.

― emsk ( emsk ), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Whoa, hope you get over that soon, Emsk. I have a fully functioning stomach but a non functioning right ear. My right ear has been out of action since New Year's Eve so I heard all of the music in the Zodiac in mono. It feels like it does when you go on a plane, which is something I haven't done since August.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm not supposed to be drinking in January, I don't see how this can last in Belgium.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:57 (seventeen years ago) link

ta mark :( i dunno, it's weird, i just felt queasy then i ate a pear then i threw up and then i felt ok and now i'm alternating between slightly queasy and ok and drinking fizzy water. j said the baby apparently threw all his breakfast up this morning too so it sounds like we have a bug.

― emsk ( emsk ), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 10:59 (seventeen years ago) link

how to kill thread? talk about puke! feel rubbeesh now.

― emsk ( emsk ), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 13:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Happy New Year everyone!

― pfunkboy (Kerr), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 13:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Yoghurt and ginger tea for you.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 13:36 (seventeen years ago) link

ginger tea sounds good. i want to go to sleep.

― emsk ( emsk ), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 14:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Waitrose have this lovely ginger and clove stuff which is very soothing.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

just tried some other herby tea which won't stay down. no idea where nearest waitrose is, gonna try planet organic.

― emsk ( emsk ), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

peppermint is good for the stomach as well.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 2 January 2007 14:31 (seventeen years ago) link

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