pretend the escalator is a highway
― flexidisc, Thursday, 22 December 2011 15:50 (twelve years ago) link
and your ass is a car
have never driven
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 22 December 2011 15:54 (twelve years ago) link
that's when you break out the "SCUZE ME" spoken with the same intent as "FUKKEN MOVE"
― Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 22 December 2011 15:55 (twelve years ago) link
driving is a lot like being an asshole pedestrian in grand central, except sometimes you get to kill people
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 15:55 (twelve years ago) link
^pretty sure i saw this on the wall at Bubba Gump's Shrimp in Times Square
― Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 22 December 2011 15:56 (twelve years ago) link
anyway, the cardinal sin is ppl walking 3 to 7 abreast on a midtown street. Go to Paree if you wanna fucking "boulevard."
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 22 December 2011 15:56 (twelve years ago) link
people who walk three abreast, people who stop--stop!--at the top of the subway stairs, people who walk slowly: all will see the guillotine blade when i am made premiere
― max max max max, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:03 (twelve years ago) link
i do like tourists, without them how would you be able to think of yourself as a new yorker
by living off the coast of America for 20 years
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:04 (twelve years ago) link
that's true of people in nassau county too tho
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:05 (twelve years ago) link
hmmm, Nassau is existentially on the mainland.
the 1% in NYC has 34% of the income, compared to 19% in USA:
http://lbo-news.com/2011/12/12/nyc-more-unequal-than-brazil/
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:06 (twelve years ago) link
someone in the comments mentions that the middle class are in the suburbs, which is true to some degree and doing it w/ the metro area would prob even it out a tad, though it would also include westchester, connecticut, rich parts of jersey while also newark etc on the other side
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:17 (twelve years ago) link
The New York subway, for example, is an extraordinary resource for beggars. A homeless man who collects 50 cents per car panhandling on an eight-car subway train can make $4 in an hour–enough for a meal at McDonalds....
Disclaimer: No, I am not touting entrepreneurial panhandling as a solution to the problem of homelessness. I support ruinous taxation of the rich and a guaranteed income for all. Equality is better than inequality. I’m just saying.
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:22 (twelve years ago) link
fwiw I have never lived somewhere that didn't have a large homeless population and I'm always surprised at how generous nyers are on the subway, esp if you're willing to pick up a musical instrument.
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:30 (twelve years ago) link
I like tourists like in august walking through soho and it's all people speaking euro, it's like wow, makes u think
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:36 (twelve years ago) link
tbf I think panhandlers on the subway make a lot more than $4/hr, ESPECIALLY the ones with instruments. I usually see half-decent ones get what looks like $4-5/car and it doesnt' take an hour to cover a train.
I sort of gaved up on the speechmakers and stopped giving - they always seem to have such absurdly contrived spiels that they can't be true ("My wife died in a fire, I lost my job, AND I have this inexplicable limp, and also I talk like I had a stroke even though I didn't mention one.") I hate to think I might be wrong about that, and also sometimes I think that they must be hard up enough anyway that it doesn't matter. Other times I also wonder if they're unfortunate patsies of some crime ring, the way it turned out the *deaf* people with those sign language cards were. For a while I noticed that the kids who sold candy always gave nearly verbatim the exact same speech ("I am not doing this for a basketball team" etc.) which to my paranoiac mind seemed like a sign, combined with the fact that they have candy in wholesale boxes. Anyway.
― Hurting, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:43 (twelve years ago) link
lol @ the universal affectless speechifying style agreed upon by the hard luck subway storytellers union
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:45 (twelve years ago) link
If someone just has a sign that says "homeless vet" or something like that, I'm apt to believe them. Cuz there are a lot of those.
― Hurting, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:48 (twelve years ago) link
all beggars are drug addicted welfare cheats who live in mansions, everyone knows
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:49 (twelve years ago) link
the basketball team stuff is clearly bullshit but I like how they're kinda entrepreneurial
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 16:55 (twelve years ago) link
I guess I'm assuming they are not part of a crime ring and just some kid who bought a box of peanut m&ms?
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:00 (twelve years ago) link
lol one time I talked to one of those kids for a while all like 150 thats a lot for a jersey he had this whole spiel like yeah its embroidered we play in such and such league im a point guard until finally i just bought some of his candy, had to respect the prep work
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:00 (twelve years ago) link
instead of making individual decisions on every panhandler I just give money to City Harvest and never give to anyone on the street or in the subway ever.
― chjips ahoy (sandbox dmr), Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:04 (twelve years ago) link
nah they def. get the candy from some central location I think. don't they?
I'd give it like 50% it's a ring, 50% they just share tips and go to costco
― Hurting, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:06 (twelve years ago) link
There was a guy I used to always see on the PATH who had this elaborate spiel about collecting for a homeless organization that had a shelter. He had a laminated card and whatnot. I guess I was young back then and i just never thought about it until one day this woman next to me says to me "Listen, I work for a homeless outreach organization and there is no way ANY legitimate homeless organization would ever send someone on the train to ask for money." Which seemed sort of obvious once she said it.
― Hurting, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:08 (twelve years ago) link
i ate at pearl oyster bar tonight and the chowda and crabcake combo is what that shit is about
It certainly isn't about the lobster roll. Luke's 4 lyphe.
― C.K. Dexter Holland, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:09 (twelve years ago) link
how hard is it to get a bulk box of m&ms?
I don't deny that there's a possibility of a central location tho for some reason I always assumed it was just some kids who wanted to make pocket money
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:11 (twelve years ago) link
I mean I didn't think anything until I noticed that I had heard like 7 different kids use virtually the same speech word-for-word, which made me think someone was training them.
― Hurting, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:12 (twelve years ago) link
I just figured they sorta figured out 'what worked'
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:13 (twelve years ago) link
yeah I could see either way, it could be like a paper route
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:15 (twelve years ago) link
come to think of it tho, outside of peanut m&ms there is definitely a regularity of snacks offered
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:16 (twelve years ago) link
im thinking theres some adult hanging out in a grungy apt who picks up the boxes wholesale and fronts them to the kids
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:18 (twelve years ago) link
thats what my paper route was like at least
― Cooper Chucklebutt, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:19 (twelve years ago) link
yeah it doesn't necessarily have to be a huge organized crime syndicates
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:20 (twelve years ago) link
unplural
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:21 (twelve years ago) link
No, dude.
― C.K. Dexter Holland, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:21 (twelve years ago) link
what about the breakdancing kids
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:22 (twelve years ago) link
are they also working for the mob
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:23 (twelve years ago) link
That old secret platform at the edge of Grand Central that was built for FDR? Filled with peanut M&Ms.
― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:23 (twelve years ago) link
Haha
― C.K. Dexter Holland, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:23 (twelve years ago) link
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=5213468&page=1
― C.K. Dexter Holland, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:24 (twelve years ago) link
One of the groups I investigated gave the children 40 cents for each $2.50 candy they sold. The bars wholesaled for 35 cents, so the crew leaders made a tasty profit.
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:26 (twelve years ago) link
They sell sweets, but bite in deep enough and you will taste the truth.
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:27 (twelve years ago) link
REAL NEW YORKERS DONT BUY CANDY FROM KIDS MWA AH AHA AH
http://www.elisabethleamy.com/images/custom/B4S_Leamy030610_111003d.jpg
― flexidisc, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:27 (twelve years ago) link
Breakdancing kids IDK -- they seem much more ragtag and there's nothing standardized that I notice.
― Hurting, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:29 (twelve years ago) link
the mob copyrights certain breakdancing moves, such as the flip the hat from your shoe onto your head
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:31 (twelve years ago) link
the mob also runs a ring of overly earnest hippieish 20-somethings with belt-clip amps covering dylan
― Hurting, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:36 (twelve years ago) link
one time (in the bay area) I heard 3 different buskers do 'knocking on heavens door' in one day
― iatee, Thursday, 22 December 2011 17:38 (twelve years ago) link