Dear ILE - a plea

how can a person feel good again with ptsd anxity depression anger hate guilt and shame i was sexually abused as a child and as an addddult had my first child at age twelve my second at age sixteen andmy third at age twentyseven i have nothing no money i was taken from my parents by the state but i ran away becaused i was being influenced by my abuser and the state put me in his custody he shot two police men infront of me his familt blames me for it all for trying to get away from him i was tying to run for my life and made him mad and they say i made him do it i lost my son to his family of fear to contact any of them he hates me my oldest who is twentyone we just met eachother and slowly trying to build a relationship witheach other that is a dream come true but i feel cheated violated robbed of my childhood my teenhood motherhood my education i have a thired grade education i have had to fight to servive i have nothing no money my body never went back to shape my skin is all stretch out i have stretch marks everyware my stomach mymy arms and legs i have never felt sexy or happy or secure all of my life how do i acheave this and become someone i will like to be and to feel comfortable with who i am i need to start a new chapter in my life but i need help i thought i would conect real well with Robin could you see whatyou can do to help a desprate person i really need someone to talk to who i ca trut honestly who wont judge me who really wants to help me and wont abandoned me .

-- Michelle ST.Pierre (frnchpierr...), September 25th, 2006.

I don't even want to talk about football and telly and whatever on the watercooler. What started this whole recent shitfest off was Kerr mentioning Paris Hilton displaying racist tendencies and asking what teh watercooler massive thought. I said what I thought in passing and referred to another populist incident of "celebrity racism". then I (not Kerr) got shit for dragging non-Kate-ordained stuff into the Watercooler. At that time, it was kind of difficult to go "ooh some high profile people be racist" without mentioning BB. I even apologised for having to mention it! Oh read the fucking thread yourselves. I didn't even break Kate's precious fucking "rules", yet I still got scapegoated. THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHITE ANY MORE IT IS RIDICULOUS.

(fuck, I actually typed that with gritted teeth)

Also, Gerry, yes, you are hilarious. You're also walking to the football on Tuesday now. Ho ho, meta or what.

(joke - seriously, I never went in for the self-justifying on real-ILX/sandbox because it would have been too meta. Now I can. Hurrah! Except I feel like an over-reacting tit, whatever that feels like, ha, please stop me typing I AM DRUNK)

-- onimo (ilx.onim...), February 15th, 2007 1:10 PM. (nu_onimo)

fixed XD

I think this of the rest of the chat threads as well TBH but the Watercooler in particular seems to be of even more limited appeal.

Then stop being the shitfucker!

A: ILX