Watercooler 0: Nothing Is A Problem For Me

For whatever reason, WOMEN tend to LOVE:
-Drama
-Conflict
-Romance
-Famous people and their lives

So... it's really quite easy to enjoy a conversation with a woman about these topics.

Errrr... women love shopping! Talk about shoes! WTF? Yes, I guess I'm interested in some if not all of those things, but not on a date. That's girlfriend chat, not date chat.

Here are a few ideas:
1. Play amateur psychologist to the stars. Talk about how someone famous is doing something really stupid, then psycho-analyze them.
For instance... right now, Michael Jackson is something like two hundred million dollars in debt. Even though he makes about twenty million dollars a year, he somehow manages to blow it all and then some. He has spent an unimaginable amount of time and money on plastic surgery and skin bleaching... and he reportedly just spent around seven hundred grand digitally darkening his skin tone in a recent video.
This situation is all kinds of BEGGING to be picked apart with a fine-toothed critical mind.
It's also PREGNANT with humor opportunities.

2. Find an interesting-looking group of people and guess what's going on.
Look around you, and find a couple sitting at a table that looks like they're on their first date. Then start making fun of how the guy is acting, how he's dressed, his posture, or whatever. Talk about how the woman is thinking that he's a dork and how he's not getting any, no matter how many compliments he gives her.
Analyzing what's going on with a close group of others is big fun, and women love it.

3. Make fun of someone famous. Talk about how a super model is too skinny, or how Ozzy has killed all his brain cells and what a shame it is that he's on TV broadcasting it to millions of viewers. Make fun of Mariah Carey for gaining weight, being put in the loony bin, and putting out a sucky movie. All you have to do is read a few gossip magazines to get all kinds of great stuff to make fun of. It's fun, it's funny, and it's a great way to talk like you're all that.

4. Talk about other people's love lives. Talk about the problems that others are going through when it comes to love and romance, then volunteer completely ridiculous theories about what's going on. Mention a friend you had who broke up with his girlfriend because she gained weight, then after you've told the story, make up a random theory about how women who gain weight are actually lesbians.

Uuuuhhhhhh... is this for real, or is this a parody site? If any guy I was on a date with started talking about any of these topics, I'd think he had NO BRAIN WHATSOEVER and the date would be over pretty quickly.

For real? What to talk about on a first date?

Try to find out what her interests are - ask her what kind of books she has enjoyed recently, what film/tv programmes she watches, what music she likes. Offer to share your own interests after you've asked hers - especially if you have any that overlap. Even if you don't find any overlaps, ask her what it is she likes about them.

Examples:
"Oh, you like Author X, too! Which is your favourite novel of hers? Ooh, I like Novel Z"
or
"Oh, I'm not familiar with Author X - what would you reccomend? What's the best to start with? What do you like about it? I kinda prefer books that are more like Novel A"

If none of these hit a response that starts a topic of conversation, try to find out about her hobbies. Ask her what she does for fun, what she does on her days off. Ask her what her favourite meal is. Ask her where she grew up, and what kind of a place she lived in.

Just talk like you're interested in finding out more about her. It doesn't have to be about the minutia of her life, you're really just looking for anything that makes her *her*. And if you find something in common - Bonus! You've got something to have a proper conversation about.

I may not be a relationship expert, but my god, I feel like I've been on a million first dates.

The quickest way to feel like you look good is to have someone else tell you this.

Obviously, there are other ways to feel good. And there are other things to prop your self esteem up on (if my self esteem came solely from my looks, I'd have killed myself years ago. My self esteem comes from people telling me my songs are good).

I think I look good today, but I probably don't.

haha there's a first time for everything on this thread.

"I know you're gonna break my heart
Coz that's what hearts are there for
I know you're gonna tear me apart
Coz lord knows I'm not careful"

Great for creativity, hell for sanity, but aren't the best things always?

xpost This is what I need, some first-hand first date experience. I'll remember that, this is good stuff.

The amusing advice is, I fear, a real life advice site. I reacted the same way that you did - the kind of girl who would find that sort of conversation stimulating isn't really the kind of girl I'd like converse with.

make up a random theory about how women who gain weight are actually lesbians.

ha ha ha beyond parody.

http://actors.ardenas-place.com/pictures/gc10.jpg

yeah, man, if you're having crush problems i feel bad for you son but i've got 99 problems but my crush ain't one HIT ME

Sorry, Andrew, but in the world of dating, I kinda *do* have a bit more experience than you. I haven't always been a celibate misanthrope.

Dating *is* about getting to know someone, and the quickest and easiest way to get to know someone is to get them to talk about themselves. And from that you can proceed to the stuff you have in common. That's how it *works*.

x-post - Johnny OTM, it's a way of finding something to talk about.

Keep this up and you'll make us mere trolls look bad

D-
must try harder

the D is for Darramouss.
sorry to interrupt, Watercoolants. do continue.

I resemble that remark.

Dating *is* about getting to know someone, and the quickest and easiest way to get to know someone is to get them to talk about themselves.

Oh yes, absolutely. So why not get them to talk about themselves?

And from that you can proceed to the stuff you have in common. That's how it *works*.

Sure, but that seems to me directly opposed to your previous post. Am I missing something?

x-post - Johnny OTM, it's a way of finding something to talk about.

But the thing you're trying to get them to talk about is them?

No, i'm not Darramouss. I think you're grossly underestimating your ability to inspire the hatred of complete strangers.

D- = You are worse than Darramouss. But don't take it to heart.

I am perfectly aware of my unrivaled ability to inspire hatred in strangers.

i much prefer to just try and have a good time than seeing a date as some kind of data mining exercise with speed and efficiency being an issue! see in my ideal date either person will just start talking about anything, interest or not, and the other will listen and respond accordingly, with no agenda like "i'm going to find out this this this and this about you by 9:15 and then i'll tell you how much i like the same thing" because i find that that usually hinders a genuine conversation.

but of course it is not always so straightforward becasue often people go into a date WITH an agenda usually being "I AM GOING TO HAVE TURKED YOU TWICE BY 11:30" but i dunno. i can't really give good advice because i not often go on blind dates and so when i do go on dates and stuff it's usually people who i know want me to turk them by 11:30 anyway.. so it's probably differnet.

maybe the advice is to never go on blind dates unless you're not really that bothered about being turked.

And it's a fuck of a lot better than what was suggested on the site linked to.

We now return you to my crush, already in progress.

But Andrew (Farrell) - good to see you last Friday, sir! Hope you got home safely with yr parcel. Did you see any of teh gig? We started off like Motorhead for the first 5 or 6 songs (according to one of our regular fanz), but ran out of steam a bit for the last few.

I WANT I WANT I WANT

God, I need sleep. What should I have for lunch? I've got £1.62.

Is it like eating toast and spaghetti in bed?
It is if you're doing it wrong.

Literature has all the answers, doesn't it?

Oh why did I drink so much last night? I knew I should have gone home after the gig. Gooblar, I curse you and the PBW and your hangover inducing ways.

Will this hangover ever go away?

Next time after a gig, I'm not going drinking afterwards. Not for all the pretty boys in Canada.

HURRAH though, i am back at the lovely job from tues :) and then i have another one the week after that. lovely lady at temping agency told me lovely things about people saying lovely stuff.