ok cupid: god, this shit

bump

I guess I can just wait for real-ILX to come back up; wish I'd c&ped that whole thread for the wisdom/advice I assume it contained.

things are still going well with the gal I met on okcupid

girl i met more than a year ago on okc has started runnin w/me again

life is good

Those not entirely satisfied with OKC might consider looking into Hot Tech Startup! HowAboutWe, on which I met without too much difficulty someone very nice and reasonably well-matched (though I have removed myself from the dating pool for someone else). I can't really compare the two sites' populations, and note that OKC will probably tell you more about someone upfront, but there may be advantages to a little more mystery and the lighter tone of the pick-a-date focus.

"My insecurities are generally of type XR-81, which is compatible with several common reassurance models"

I met more people IRL from OKCupid (1) than from eHarmony and match.com combined.

my personal life has always been more successful when I avoid those sites altogether!

Guys I have a boyfriend and I met him on OKCupid!!

Yay! :-D

Yay, the official boyfriend word has been bestowed! :-)))

congrats stevie!!

Yay! Now both of you get your cute asses back to DC for a visit :)

http://i40.tinypic.com/35bf71i.png

lol

lol

btw

Guys I have a boyfriend and I met him on OKCupid!!

― Stevie :-D, Sunday, December 18, 2011 3:05 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark

me 2

http://johnaugust.com/2009/wherefore-does-not-mean-where
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_wherefore_mean
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/262200.html
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wherefore-means-why-Juliet-is-not-asking-where-romeo-is/495187500530

x-post - :D

met a girl through this recently. went for a drink on friday where scrabble, snogging* and handsiness happened. no word from her since.

well done stevie.

*only word for it. apologies if not to ur taste.

okc #1 - 1 date, went okay, got a "thanks but no thanks" email, returned with a "cool, have a nice life" email
okc #2 - 1 date, went really nice, meeting for second date tonight, this one has potential legs methinks
okc #3 - 1 date, spent four hours talking at a patisserie. I had stomach flu. She has kids. Made plans to meet after holidays. We are likely gonna be friends.
okc #4 - meeting on friday at a bar
okc #5 - making plans over holiday

seeing two other women somewhat more seriously and ongoing on the irl tip; i need to probably not look at okc anymore.
though being told that i am officially hot (and now "eligible to meet hotter people!" by the standards of an impartial computer program was nice. can i assume they do this with everyone?

^also feeling good that this is a two week okc history

good god, forks

yah gj

congrats on y'alls respective bfs btw

godspeed, bruh

wallace shawn date was the "have a good life" chick so i got the one rejection out the way quick luckily

Finding a good match is a totally random act, so the stated premise of okcupid that it can sort out good matches from bad matches is so much shite. But it stands to reason that a wider exposure to random people will increase your odds of finding someone you like who likes you, and obv okcupid can increase your exposure to random people. Voila!

i hate how every other woman in the world complains about how many messages they get on this site, because it makes me feel like i must be a total loser.

Aimless otm. My learning how to project my humor into cyberworld has been the trickiest of exercises the last fourteen years.

one friend "i don't even have pictures up and still get like 80 messages a day!"

OKC is like a singles bar where it's always five minutes to closing
there's a strange mix of interesting and insane
it rewards prep, good writing, thought and careful approach

i think i should totally get a job helping people create their OKC profiles

only if you're a bigamist

PROTIP: do not answer the questions about anal sex, marriage or if you want to have kids unless you can honestly say no, yes, yes.
Otherwise, it is the equivalent of coming up to a person at a club and saying "Hi, I'm interested in fucking you in the ass but never marrying you. You will die alone. Can I buy you a drink?"

hmm i'll have to check what i answered to those questions but p. sure that answering in that order would only help my chances.

PROTIP #2: Make a simple "nice to meet you" letter that you can c+p for minimum rejection damage to your soul. Being clever online or answering/quoting info in someone's profile is creepy and the chances that they'll remember what you're referencing is slim. A simple "Hi, I read your profile and I think we'd get along well. Drop me a line if you'd like to talk" should be fine as long as you add a few light human touches so as to not sound spammy. ANYONE would respond to that by looking at your profile. Then if they like what they see they'll respond. They won't if they don't.

i can always spot the form letters and don't reply to those!!

PROTIP #3: Make sure there's at least one picture that shows your full body and one shot of your face, smiling. People wanna see that, duh. Don't post the picture if it doesn't look like you on a regular day. Otherwise they're gonna flinch when you meet them.

Well, I usually find a way to allude to an album or a book the other guy mentioned. If I'm responding to his profile, it's because he's cute, reads, and listens to music. He should remember what his favorite novel or movie is; most times he's flattered I went through the trouble of mentioning it!

bene: probably not good form letters i'd guess

i really only reply to people who write me asking a question about something in profile, never the generic ones, or the ones it's obvious they have just plugged a random interest in "so, i see you like ___eating food__. i also like _eating food__. here is my phone number hope to hear from you!"

i did a lot of specific question asking and clever conversation starters or whatever and got zero response. Then I just said "hi, you look good and you seem neat; let's talk" and got good response. Go figure.

The semicolon = instant hard-on.

you just forgot protip #1

PROTIP: do not answer the questions about anal sex, marriage or if you want to have kids unless you can honestly say no, yes, yes.
Otherwise, it is the equivalent of coming up to a person at a club and saying "Hi, I'm interested in fucking you in the ass but never marrying you. You will die alone. Can I buy you a drink?"

― Dranke, the German Drake Impersonator (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, December 21, 2011 7:58 PM (1 hour ago)

idk how universally applicable this is

i will totally cop to that being a STRAIGHT MALE PROTIP
coincidentally my fave hardcore band from weehawken is STRAIGHT MALE PROTIP

Generalizations from personal experience always problematic. Forks is merely being more confident/assertive in his second approach, rather than trying to persuade why he fits the bill. What's going to work better depends on the recipient.

Oh, and not all girls want to have kids or even get married.

in my experience, all girls want to have kids and get married.
ALL OF THEM

no of course not. I'm just saying it's a bad opening line to say that you're not into any of those things at all as it broadcasts a degree of unavailability that can put people off

I don't want to have kids and/or get married.

Congrats Stevie! :)

I disabled my account so as to fully dedicate my attention between an age-appropriate someone who I met in real life and my youthful workplace crush.

having a pet dog someday is the biggest responsibility i aspire to. and even that is many years away!

V_P any update on the work crush situation?

deactivated my profile last week RIP

Did you ever use Manhunt? If so, what would you say the differences are?

nah, only other site i used was a4a, which is just totally awful

deactivated my profile last week RIP

Keep it open and check it periodically. You never know.

pretty sure an ilxor just hit me up on this

awwwwwkkkkwarrrrrrrrrrrdddddd

ha

lately i keep finding myself in occupy DC committees with girls i've had back-and-forths with on here.

okc #2 - spent the night with her on nye; we worked out the particulars for a casual relationship and will be keeping in touch
okc #3 - 1 friendly email, think we're gonna be rare communicators... though she made a big show of putting my name in her phone on first date. just think she's too busy to do anything halfway.
okc #4 - turned out that, though we never met, we lived on the same street (two doors down!) when i was with my ex and that led to an amazingly awkward conversation about my old block and the frustrations I have with it and jc in general. did not work well. One drink apiece and a plate of deviled eggs later we went different ways, salute.
okc #5 - we are maybe doing yoga together today and then getting dinner. she wrote this morning saying she may have to cancel the yoga portion of our show, some ill-defined personal drama on her end.
okc #6 - friendly online chat turned pretty filthy after an hour; we spent a fair amount of time editing and critiquing each others profiles. very meta. she gave me her number but i think i'd rather keep this online for the moment.
okc #7 - brunch cancelled, lunch midweek is a go. we apparently work on the same block. this small world shit is creepy.