Christmas cooking

My Mum always cooks and the rest of the family is banned from the kitchen until she needs somebody to lay the table. She's got it down to a fine art and gets just the right size of turkey, so we all have plenty for lunch and there's a little left over for boxing day tea. The carcass and any leftover veg make a very fine soup, though it wasn't so great when she used the water the ham had desalted in for 2 days. In fact it was pretty inedible. My jobs are usuallyt making the trifle and buttering the bread for Christmas Day tea and laying the table for every meal. Dad does the wine and the washing up and I can't remember what my sister does except cause rows.

I always cook, although technically it's a joint effort. Haven't planned a starter yet, doing turkey this year instead of goose for the first time (oh schmaltz pot, how I love you so for keeping my goose fat fresh) and making a mincemeat creme brulee for pudding.

Two years ago we went to my mother-in-law's and there was NO GRAVY! How can you have a turkey and NO GRAVY? Freak. (I suspect everything came ready-made from Marks and Spencers and she probably burnt it or something). I am making every attempt to avoid her Christmas dinners for the rest of all time now.