make up some fake, inscrutable adages and post them here

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Consider your friends as a farmer considers the hedgerows

ledge, Thursday, 15 December 2011 11:26 (twelve years ago) link

seven on a bench makes light the sitting

bloating forecast: ruff swells (p much resigned to deems), Thursday, 15 December 2011 11:34 (twelve years ago) link

early to sleep, early to beep-beep

another suggestbanite (rusty flathead screwdriver), Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:43 (twelve years ago) link

count not the peasants in the meadow, but rather the number of holes in their shoes

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:55 (twelve years ago) link

even colanders sometimes want for advice!

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:56 (twelve years ago) link

a cauliflower may be as a bedpost to a junebug, just as a widow loathes deer ticks

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:58 (twelve years ago) link

a pharmacy what never closeth is like a paintstall in April rain

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 17:59 (twelve years ago) link

marking one's words is sure to bring trouble, brief though it may be. marking one's words twice, however, is utmost folly

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

a chambermaid is never satisfied until last night's tales are recounted. a chamberpot is never satisfied until last night's ales are recanted.

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:02 (twelve years ago) link

what comes between men and valleys is best saved for a winter's long walk

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:03 (twelve years ago) link

much wisdom be wise, yet wiser still is the man who can hurl a dreidel to Tipperary

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:06 (twelve years ago) link

in the marketplace of ideas, it's often the smallest gnu which registers the first objection

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

if pornography were baseball, then umpires would be blind to all balks

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:09 (twelve years ago) link

when desperation sets in, a pile of dusty handkerchiefs surpass a repast of luncheon meat

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:11 (twelve years ago) link

he who spites his enemy is like a cheesecloth which has never befriended curds

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

When all signs point to yes, the body says no

lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

when has a man ever said, "oh, if it weren't for my foot then Rome might answer to me"?

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:14 (twelve years ago) link

between time and a buyer's market, better to halve one's horse carriage

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:15 (twelve years ago) link

every widow has a granary, but not every newlywed once trod in quicksand

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:16 (twelve years ago) link

When reading a book don't flip the page too soon; the book reads you too

lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:17 (twelve years ago) link

show me a rose and I'll show you a girl named Sam

Dr Morbius, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:17 (twelve years ago) link

A loving man will desire losing, a loving woman will desire chocolate

lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:18 (twelve years ago) link

every deck of cards may be filed down, but not every gambler is a prince!

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:18 (twelve years ago) link

advice may be easily whispered to a pugilist, but in reality is best saved for his tailor

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:20 (twelve years ago) link

If you want to catch birds, slam a stick into a bush

lebateauivre, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:20 (twelve years ago) link

shopping chastens the man who loveth to spackle

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:21 (twelve years ago) link

fair ladies are like coupons for Burger King, often portenting a ring in the alcove

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:27 (twelve years ago) link

many is the heart which pineth after a Dove Bar, few are the chocolateers willing to suck soap

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:28 (twelve years ago) link

when a man visits your house clutching a jar of Vlasic Pickles to his bosom, best to burn any unsorted laundry posthaste

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:30 (twelve years ago) link

when your Rice-a-Roni begins to boil, consider a move to Detroit

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:31 (twelve years ago) link

a man without slippers may lie contentedly forever. a man without a subscription to Vanity Fair will fail to elicit hugs even from his undertaker

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:33 (twelve years ago) link

a Belorussian playing football is like a pagan turning water into Gatorade; only the gnashing of teeth can follow

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:35 (twelve years ago) link

when in the vicinity of a Wendy's Restaurant, best to pocket one's sherbet

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:37 (twelve years ago) link

why pine for McDonald's french fries, when there are children in El Dorado with no 7-11 Taquitos?

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:39 (twelve years ago) link

in the event of Pomeranians, best to urinate outside of a Motel 6

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:41 (twelve years ago) link

there are two virtues to defecating in a Sbarro's pizza. neither of them involve anchovies

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:41 (twelve years ago) link

counting tampons before menstruating is like petting an igloo during a heat wave-- neither will fatten your wallet or bring gladness to your heart

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:43 (twelve years ago) link

there are only three things that would-be bartenders love more than promotional coasters-- upended swizzle sticks, henna tattoos and the Delaware state lottery

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:46 (twelve years ago) link

if you meet an Udmurt on the way to the carwash, best to put down one's fruit basket and undo one's buttons

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:51 (twelve years ago) link

15 years ago the swiftest road to misery was living in a luxury apt. building employing a concierge who moonlights as a Jay Leon impersonator. nowadays it is having Arsenio Hall as your houseguest for a month

dell, Thursday, 15 December 2011 18:57 (twelve years ago) link

Scattered are the remants of tuesday's ghost

CaptainBurlapSax, Monday, 19 December 2011 03:53 (twelve years ago) link

Until you beat your chest to the rhythm of the snow queen don't shave your legs

CaptainBurlapSax, Monday, 19 December 2011 04:13 (twelve years ago) link

ran adrift the reign of Thunder Balls

CaptainBurlapSax, Monday, 19 December 2011 04:28 (twelve years ago) link

if you haven't been in a magazine, then you can't tell me anything about the law

Z S, Monday, 19 December 2011 04:38 (twelve years ago) link

Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground
Where an old man of Aran goes around and around
And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night
For a strange kind of fashion there's a wrong and a right
But he'll never, never fight over you

ledge, Monday, 19 December 2011 09:42 (twelve years ago) link

Ears are windows to the heart.

Billy Dods, Monday, 19 December 2011 11:41 (twelve years ago) link

Whipping shitties in the field is sure to grow next autumn's yield.

another suggestbanite (rusty flathead screwdriver), Monday, 19 December 2011 11:47 (twelve years ago) link

you can't read the leaves in a teabag

bloating forecast: ruff swells (p much resigned to deems), Monday, 19 December 2011 14:20 (twelve years ago) link


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