Only six more years of misery - the Sandbox UK politics thread.

Of more ghoulish fascination, though, is the next Lib Dem manifesto. What could this document possibly include? There are whole areas that in any sane universe it would be literally too embarrassing to mention, and given that these include major planks of what used to be called Liberal Democrat policy, such as Europe and education, I've genuinely no idea where they'll go with this one. Blank pages? Something nice and inclusive about fish? The mere fact of something appearing as a Liberal Democrat manifesto pledge has come to symbolise that it is terminally doomed as an idea. Perhaps the best way to eradicate poverty would be to draft up a Lib Dem manifesto commitment to perpetuating it.

lol, this is excellent, had not even considered how they would suggest that people vote for them, had just concentrated on how people would not

Actually, it's a t-shirt with "Yes, we do exist", and that's it. (xpost)

I think that now they've got that little bit of power coursing through their veins, the Lib Dems would probably agree to the reintroduction of the slavery just so they could enjoy the feeling of power for a little longer - and that goes for the Simon Hughes's too not just the Danny Alexanders. I imagine they will be shortly twisting themselves into all sorts of shapes over Europe... Labour is now being talked about as the The Pro-Europe Party!

― Tony Hart land (Deep in the Tony Hart land), Thursday, 8 December 2011 13:57 (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

Told you!

Of more ghoulish fascination, though, is the next Lib Dem manifesto.

FWIW I reckon there won't be one, as such, there will be a Coalition manifesto of some kind instead.

... unless the Tories are absolutely sure they can win, in which case it's bye bye Lib Dems forever

is there precedent for that? i woulda thought that would be kinda a mutually unconvincing move

Tony, the Tories can only lose 'helping' LibDem by making it a coalition manifesto, no?

(btw love your msgs on here but i have no idea who you are/were on ilx... sigh)

is there precedent for that? i woulda thought that would be kinda a mutually unconvincing move

Danny Alexander hinted strongly that was the direction they were headed, mind you he's gone so native he's began out-nativing the natives

is there precedent for that? i woulda thought that would be kinda a mutually unconvincing move

When Melody Maker folded, they 'merged' with the NME, and the 'band classifieds' pages in the NME had a Melody Maker logo for, ooh, around three weeks.

Apparently Coalition strategy for the next election, when the country will still be totally fucked with the prospect of several years more of the same, is LET US FINISH YOU OFF THE JOB

the ol' mercy killing vote

i've got a feeling the lib dems will split over this eventually, the same way the liberal party split when Lloyd George became a tory

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/dec/10/nick-clegg-david-cameron-europe-veto

lol
i have no idea how this jives w/his supportive statement earlier
& tbh who is interested in how 'nick clegg would have played this hand' given how shitty he is at playing nick clegg's hand?

Lol, just heard Clegg speaking about this, it's as if someone died. "We are all bitterly disappointed" and he fears isolation, said the strategy was all wrong.

Help me understand why he's doing this, Britishers. Is it plausible a majority of his party (finally) see this government is a suicide for them? Is he trying to act tough for them? Idgi.

Tom this is kind of tiresome now, I think you just don't understand the LibDems, if they really wanted to be Tories they'd have become Tories by now. There's an innate squeamishness to them that's both stopping them becoming full-blown Tories (or Labour members) that at the same time is keeping them in the coalition.

I reckon Clegg's in pretty much in the same situation as Gordon Brown a couple of years ago, terror of going down in history as one of political history's greatest fuckwits, and he'll do pretty much anything to avoid that happening. Reckon if Cable goes the prospect of the coalition breaking is very real now but Clegg will look like an absolute moron if that happens.

Also most of the Tory party would never in a million years countenance a joint manifesto, they fucking hate being in coalition.

Also Will Hutton's furious savaging today brought the lols.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/dec/11/will-hutton-david-cameron-wrong-on-europe?newsfeed=true

Also a short-term election would be very much in the Tories' favour I'd say, a bounce from their heartlands due to this Euro thing, plus a massive defeat for the LibDems in marginals, before the economic consequences of govt policy have really hurt too many people. Plus it would wrongfoot Labour with it's unpopular leadership that would have to cook up a load of policies pretty much on the hoof. Would probably go so far as to say that if there were an election tomorrow the Tories would win outright, especially if the SNP do well enough in Scotland.

Hutton hmmm

It was wrong to resist revolutions in France and the US; wrong to go slow over abolishing the slave trade; wrong to champion the Corn Laws; wrong to embrace appeasement in the 1930s; wrong to contest the decolonisation of India. The British right's instincts – jingoistic, imperialistic, anti-progressive and isolationist – have consistently led this country into calamities.

The thing is, you smug, insipid Whig, "wrong" don't come into it. They are, after all, the Conservative party. That's the point. Their natural xenophobia and resistance to change has a counterpoint in kneejerk Europhiles and the "modernisers" who utterly corrupted the Labour party and the Lib Dems. And of course Cameron and his crew are only "Conservative" in limited socio-political ways, as inheritors of Thatcherism/Monetarism they're as radical as you like, in the same way that religious fundamentalists are a product of modernity.

rambling. anyway fuck them but trying to drag the Corn Laws in is some weak-ass ahistorical showboating imo

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/dec/11/charlie-brooker-2011-season-finale/print

2011 has been like one big end-of-season finale; a climactic episode in which multiple story arcs come to a head. It's used up far too much news for one year. How can 2012 possibly compete?

hmnnnnnn

Ur doing it wrong Brooker.

Meanwhile, here are some reassuring perennial lols:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/8949176/Tory-MP-Aidan-Burley-extremely-sorry-over-Nazi-themed-stag-party.html

They must have used that URL before.

He (Vince Cable) will speak out aggressively against Cameron's veto; his decision is whether to resign to do so or say so in office, courting his sacking.

Or, better still, say nothing and sit alongside Cameron as he smirks his way through his statement to the Commons

Ms Portas added that new businesses needed to be given tax breaks because they could not afford to base themselves on Britain's high streets.

Speaking on the BBC's Today programme, she said car boot sales were a strong example of the ways people want to spend money.

However, she said: "We've got car boot sales in some really horrible car parks off the M25. Why would you go there? Put them on the high street. It makes absolute sense.

This must be an amazing time to be a Tory MP, you can just do anything you want knowing full-well that the LibDems are too terrified of electoral oblivion to do anything other than mutter away in private.

clegg ~refusing to sit on the front bench~ is a p good example of what coalition dissent looks like

http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/dec2010/1/7/nick-clegg-pic-pa-528353147.jpg

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^sensitive boy 101. Just get him a guitar and a looping pedal.

There are so many pics of Cleggy looking miserable/ haunted/ suicidal to chose from

.. and the words to "any way that you want me"

xpost TIMIG!

Have noticed David Laws sneaking back into the media spotlight recently, I imagine he'll be back in the cabinet soon

PMs usually look pretty haggard within a year or so but Cameron still looks like he sleeps like a baby. Clegg looking much rougher which is weird seeing as he technically doesn't have anything to do.

Painting, attic, botox, selling yr soul to the devil... sprinkle into jokes as you see fit.

Nick is the sensitive type, writing tear stained letters back to Mummy about how horrid the other boys in his dorm are to him, Dave's a "roarer, a rogerer, a gorger and a puker"

Westminster School vs. Eton

Westminster boys tend to be better adjusted but Eton boys are weirder in bed?

Wait I didn't say that.

This hasn't come up yet?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/shortcuts/2011/dec/12/david-cameron-full-bladder-technique?intcmp=239

Cameron, it is said, used his tried-and-tested "full-bladder technique" to achieve maximum focus and clarity of thought throughout the gruelling nine-hour session in Brussels. During the formal dinner and subsequent horse-trading into the early hours, the prime minister remained intentionally "desperate for a pee".

Sounds like an overheard conversation at a Tory Party conference (xp)

Cameron, it is said, used his tried-and-tested "full-bladder technique" to achieve maximum focus and clarity of thought throughout the gruelling nine-hour session in Brussels. During the formal dinner and subsequent horse-trading into the early hours, the prime minister remained intentionally "desperate for a pee".

He'd left his pissboy, young Nick, at home

i'd've thought the full bladder technique wd be offset by his full of shit technique

Full bladder technique, yup. Like I said, Eton boys are ~weird~ in bed.

Is that really going to help your negotiating position? If I'd been holding it for as much as a couple of hours I'd basically be willing to give Sarkozy anything he asked for just to get out of the room.

Nine hours, he's asking for trouble on the prostate front there.

Hmm, sounds like he gave him nothing, just so he could get out of the room.

does seem to indicate that if you're ever engaged in tense negotiations with Cameron then a swift blow to the abdomen cd have hilarious consequences

If only Laws and Clegg hadn't held Vince Cable back and he'd connected that time during the coalition talks...

wait what, re: full bladder technique

why are our politicians such massive weirdos

though actually it's one of those stories that just makes you feel a lot better about yourself

The fact that we have a PM who thinks that Enoch Powell is someone to *emmulate*... but at least we know the sources of those metphors, then. Rivers of Blood? Rivers of piss coursing through his mind, more like.

Nine hours, he's asking for trouble on the prostate front there.

We can just hope.

Who would want to spend Christmas with Mark and Carol Thatcher?