c/d: that creepy guy in your office

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Ooh, just reminded of another one. I trained this guy on his first day on how to fill out the forms to report software bugs. This is a job a trained and literate ape could do, really not challenging. Half the staff surfed the web all day, and some were regularly stoned. They all performed expertly. He sat diagonally behind me, and seemed to be fine on his first day. OK, so the poppy seed bagel over his keyboard was a little nasty and the lunchtime reading of the book of Revelations was odd.

The next day he tapped me on the shoulder to ask me a question. A dumb question. The kind of question that made me think he'd erased his memory of everything that happened the day before. I gave him the answer, and turned back to my work. Five minutes later and he's tapping my shoulder again. Another dumb question, basically a "how do I do my job again?" thing. I think this happened once or twice more before I wheeled around and said "WHAT?!"

That was the last time he spoke to me. Two months of sitting four feet away, and he'd get someone else to ask me questions. After all those poppy seed bagels, we just chucked his keyboard when he was (finally) fired for incompetence.

― patita (patita), Friday, 1 September 2006 13:44 (seventeen years ago) link

wait, who is the creepy one in that story?

― katarina (katarina), Friday, 1 September 2006 14:09 (seventeen years ago) link

I probably was the creepy guy in the office, when "the office" was the grocery distribution center and I was the only one there who read for pleasure and thought Chuck Norris movies were lame-ass. (That opinion almost got me into a fight.)

-- I Am Curious (George) (Slight Return) (crump...), August 31st, 2006.

I've never wanted to mention this, in fear that it would be misunderstood, but Rock, you resemble a creepy guy that used to work with me. Guy infected the computers every night with all sorts of porn viruses. Once complimented me after seeing me out somewhere with a hot blond on my shoulder (it was my fifteen-year old sister.) Used to bitch and moan about not getting paid enough even though he didn't do much besides record dubs and infect our computer with porn viruses.

Anyway, he went out to dinner with his wife last winter, came back home, went to the bathroom, and died of a heartattack. Now we have his funeral program hanging up in one of our offices and everytime I see it, I think, boy that guy looks like Rock Hardy.

Now, for everyone's information, I've known Rock on here for quite some time and have even talked to him in private. HE SEEMS VERY LEVEL HEADED AND NOT CREEPY AT ALL. It's just a bizzare coincidence of circumstance.

Kind of like how my beloved high school English teacher, in hindsight, resembles the BTK killer.

― Plains I Make, Friday, 1 September 2006 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahaha, dang, I don't know what to say to that.

...except that my favorite English teacher in high school was a fastidious little guy who that John Mark Karr guy reminds me of. We all have our unfortunate doppelgangers, I guess.

*picks teeth with a whittled-down human finger bone*

― I Am Curious (George) (Slight Return) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 1 September 2006 14:32 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost

when you try to out creep the office creep, no one wins!

― patita (patita), Friday, 1 September 2006 16:44 (seventeen years ago) link

maybe the guy who ate spaghetti and meatball sandwiches! everyday and always managed to get red sauce on both his cheeks and nose and just sort of never notice, all the while talking to himself. once someone entered the room he would stand up all and formally intoduce himself (with food all over face) and usually ask them if they were familiar with some random video game like kid ikarus. oh and he wuld also drop his pants all the way to the floor when using a urinal and used to crank his discman and sing enya in crowded elevators. he once told me (yes i always talk to the freaks) he was still living at home to support his brothers video game addiction.

― kephm, Saturday, 2 September 2006 03:33 (seventeen years ago) link

I am afeared that the next time I get in Gerry's car, he's going to secretly wish I was in the boot. However this revelation does mean I don't have to buy you pints any more, as I wouldn't want to scare you by handing it over to you.

― ailsa_xx (ailsa_xx), Saturday, 2 September 2006 09:54 (seventeen years ago) link

I got my job in December, but didn't start work until January. But because they knew who I was, they invited me to the Christmas bash. So there's me, trying not to get too drunk in front of my new boss who wasn't even my boss yet and not managing particularly well but anyway. When moving to another bar, I found out who the Office Creepy Guy was because he followed me up the street, checking me out from behind and repeatedly telling me how sexy I was. Way to introduce yourself to a new colleague... I must have said about a dozen words to him since then. He's on long-term sick at the moment so I don't have to make any kind of effort, thankfully.

― Madchen (Madchen), Saturday, 2 September 2006 11:12 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm not sure i've ever worked with someone who was a full-on CREEP. the only one i can think of was a sadsack blogger-type-guy who mouthbreathed and tried to ingratiate himself by making lame jokes. he wasn't a perv though, i don't think.

― jbr, Saturday, 2 September 2006 15:25 (seventeen years ago) link

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