Sandbox Romants: Wooing and Problems

Well, it would seem that the whole "porn" market is based on 'chasing the smart money', much like any other kind of marketing. So, 'single lads, disposable income' are the biggest market so they get all the 'girls' on display.

Then again, there's a lot of 'specialist' categorised mags that have "Over 60's" women in, for example. At first I thought it some weird fetish, and Wayne Rooney seemed to bear this out. But then, what of the lonely widower? He doesn't want some 22 year old that may well look like one of his grandkids, he's going to want someone that looks like his wife they way he remembers her, or similar.

I'm not in the market, so my 'research' is limited to 'what's on display on the rack' in passing (wife also being gorgeous, etc) but there they are, "30something women", "40something" etc.

Also, there's 'supply' issues, I'd wager: Older females have better things to do than 'continue' being in photos.

per the age difference thing i try not to be attracted to women young enough to be my daughter

this becomes more difficult as time marches on ;-)

i have a lunch date today, with someone i met at work a year ago or so, but haven't seen since (she works at another building several blocks away from me). challenge will be how to have lunch with someone in the middle of the work day, and i only know her from work, and not to talk about work too much (or at all). also, i've never been on a lunch date in the middle of a workday and ....aw gawd! *bites nails*

http://www.kintera.org/AccountTempFiles//account8790/images/ijl_logo.jpg

good lord,and ^that's^ exactly what i want to avoid. i'd much rather be hanging out somewhere after work. but since i hadn't seen her in so long, i felt the email out of nowhere combined with the "let's get dinner" would be too much, so i went for grabbing lunch instead.

*chomps*

haha

take it easy and you will be fine

Challenges are fun.

z s tomorrow at 7:15am: 'my lunch date just ended'

lol Z_S - well look at it this way, at least you (and her) have easy outs if the date goes off the rails

my recommendation: hand guns, lots of them, accompanied by sound effects and copious winking

zs, just have fun.

z s tomorrow at 7:15am: 'my lunch date just ended'

i would say that the date effectively ended at 12:10pm, when she used "my boyfriend" in the middle of a sentence.

:0

so glad i didn't bust out the copious winking prior to that, it could've had been embarrassing!

lol that's always such an awkward moment

I mean, to give and to receive. you have to insert it in a way that's not superfluous and making it obvious that you are trying to head things off at the pass. and as the receiver you have to react graciously and make it seem like 'hey, why'd you even mention that, that totally wasn't the reason I asked you out to lunch in the first place' (live CAT scan shows heart breaking, into pieces, and stomach literally dropping into the recesses around the balls of your feet)

Or a relief

xpost

i guess i should have made it more clear in the emails, but i couldn't figure out a way to say it that wasn't hilariously awkward.

but i don't know, if someone i barely knew emailed me out of nowhere after a year+ since seeing them, and invited me out to lunch alone (after only ever seeing them in large group situations) i'd assume it was a date.

?

oh well.

Or I'd find a way to mention my bf in an e-mail.

"Thursday? No, that won't work, my bf and I are going to get some Xmas shopping done together."

well maybe she agreed to it because she likes you and wants to keep the bridge built?

"Friday night? Nope sorry, that's when my girlfriend and I are going to have wild and crazy sex until we're both so exhausted that we fall asleep without showering"

hahahahahaha

well, there is the small possibility that she still wanted to pursue something despite of boyfriend, who is apparently studying in Bologna all year for his grad school program.

but yeah, i want no part of that obv

because she likes you and wants to keep the bridge built?

There has to be something; attraction, professional esteem, nice table manners

ZS, you don't think much of Bologna?

i'm sure it's a lovely place! never been. but having just been cheated on and summarily dumped, i definitely want no part in anything to do with inflicting that feeling on someone else.

lunch "date" did end up inviting me out to a happy hour next wednesday. i may be doing my hair that night. or having wild and crazy sex with someone until i'm so exhausted that i fall asleep with showering.

You could solve this dilemma by having sex in the shower, you know

or going and meeting the cute, available friends she has primed with stories of your awesomeness (xp)

heh, well remy's scenario sounds great, but only if she ever thought it was a date. i think it's more likely that early on she was like "well shit, he thinks this is a date but for me it's just networking"

NETWORKING or NOTWORKING

crucial Q

Or KNOTWORKING

NUTWORKING

NAUGHTWORKING

Wait wait wait the ex cheated on you and then had the audacity to be all accusatory about you moving on too quickly?

yes.

october 2011 was just a swell month all around

Is it just me, or is this new news? Idr this info either.

Yeah I think zs might have been too much of a gentleman to include that little detail earlier. Fyi I retract any sympathy I had for your ex.

i think i left it out, i dunno. now i wish this thread was de-indexed! definitely not trying to mudsling or anything

Well for the record, you left it out until it was so far in the past that you actually forgot you'd left it out, and that's saying something.

p sure this thread is already de-indexed?

also, some mud deserves to be slung

I'm sure a mod wouldn't mind de indexing this thread

Also: it is not mudslinging to admit that someone you love did something pretty awful and hurt you

Mookie otm

it's deindexed now.

So, wait fooled around on you and then dumped you and has the nerve to say you're mvoing on too fast? Were it I, I would thank her for helping me move on so fast and remind her that I couldn't possibly care less what she thought. Good day, Madam!

When you're with someone for as long as ZS and she were it's not always that black & white, or at least it doesn't always seem like it is.

In other words, having that attitude is often easier said than done at least ime.

Fair enough. I still think that after you dump someone, opining on their love life is probably not terribly wise.

yeah. i mean, i think part of the reason i didn't mention the cheating and all of that is i was still slightly in shock and denial. also, during the breakup night she seemed eager for me to agree that this was "mutual". and she sort of had a point - we had problems going back years that were seemingly unresolveable (not a word), and it's true that there were times in the months leading up to it where i had contemplated breaking up myself (though not cheating of course). so yes, i agreed that it was a mutual thing and because of that i kind of pushed the incident out of mind, water under the bridge and all of that.

the worst, though, was when she accused me of dating some girl and lying about it (this was the facebook image incident where i was in the background of a photo with an attractive girl and it ended up getting published in various places and she saw it), and refused to believe that i never dated the girl or kissed her or anything. in fact, i'm not sure that girl is into men or women or people in general, in terms of romants. but anyway, she refused to believe me, and instead left me a scathing series of text messages along the lines of "this is how you get me back, you fucker? you had to get even so you had to go out and etc etc etc"

Hmmm. OK, that's p nuts sounding.

and it's like, YOU CHEATED ON ME AND DUMPED ME, FOR REAL. I WAS IN A PHOTO WITH A PRETTY GIRL 2 WEEKS LATER AND THAT'S IT. WE ARE NOT IN A COMPETITION, BUT IF WE WERE, WE WOULD NOT BE EVEN.

True.