Texts from Bennett

hes like the guy in bad science fiction novels that keeps prodding the characters to provide crucial information to the reader that the characters wouldnt normally spell out. 'oh rygel-7 you say? what is that exactly?'

omg you just made me choke on a grain of brown rice
with laughs

ack twice

texts from bennett is really the poor man's karen & ellen letters

karen & ellen letters so fake too :\

karen & ellen letters are funny, tho

karen and ellen letters are fake and hilarious and not racist

texts from bennett is only one of those three things

is the 'racist' part of this just all the uses of the n-word? because ventriloquism of a fictional white person by an actual existing white person that involves the n-word and a lot of 'black slang' is definitely sketchy but i dunno if racist is really the word for it.

there's an whiff of #prettyflyforawhiteguy "white people shouldn't act like this"

karen & ellen letters so fake too :\

― dayo, Sunday, December 4, 2011 10:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

Feel like there's a 7% chance k&a are real and they're just fucking w/the landlord

k&a are real and they're just fucking w/the landlord

I think they're either real and they're just fucking with the landlord, or they're fake and the landlord (Mark Tarses, who seems to be a real person) created them for laughs a long time ago.

someone (a former ilxor, actually) mentioned the letters in an alt.fan.momus newsgroup posting dating back to 2000:

"The Karen and Ellen Letters, Volumes 1 and 2" by Karent Prescott, Ellen Goldsmith and Mark Tarsus - Purports to be a series of letters between two UC Berkeley students and their long-suffering landlord. I got it from a friend who got it from a friend at a Kinko's in San Francisco, and it's composed entirely of xeroxed pages bound together like university course materials. It's also just about the funniest thing I've ever read. I've had it for years and read it at least ten times. It's got true humor staying power, possibly because it's impossible to tell if it's factual or fictional.

and someone started a blogspot about them (which no one paid any attention to) a few years ago. if they're fake, then someone faked them long before tumblr was a thing.

At some point I have a "Karen and Ellen Letters" style thing to scan in and put on Tumblr/ILX: in junior high school, a somewhat odd kid who was a friend of mine would pretend that he was a RCMP named Mr. MacEntire. He would go into character as a Canadian Mountie and wouldn't stop. This was one of a menagerie of characters, each with its own catchphrases (MacEntire's was "Respect Your Elders") and idiosyncrasies, that he felt compelled to go into rather than deal with the social rigors of just, you know, being a person.

Anyway, he would draw pictures of this guy and the characters in his universe and write and tell complex stories about them and integrate me and my classmates into it. They were really odd little sketches, single panel things and he would give me two or three of these a day. He sent me a few christmas cards. The coup de grace was when he wrote a twenty page single space autobiography of Mr. MacEntire and followed that up with a full autobiography of HIS WIFE who he would ALSO go into character as.

Anyways, there's plenty more to the story but the key is that I kept a thick folder of this stuff, maybe 100 pages or so and I keep meaning to scan it in. It's pretty amazing.

Do ppl call this out as fake cos they reckon theres no way anyone would talk/think like Bennett? because I can assure you people do (my ex's brother, for starters).

I know people that do as well but this has a real big "texts from last night" vibe where each word seems placed for maximum humor potential. It really sounds like someone writing a character

karen & ellen letters so fake too :\

― dayo, Sunday, December 4, 2011 10:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Permalink

Feel like there's a 7% chance k&a are real and they're just fucking w/the landlord

― Cooper Chucklebutt, Monday, December 5, 2011 12:17 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

yeah if they are real then it's a 100% chance that they are just fucking with the landlord

Rolo Tony otm. I worked with a kid who could have written all these texts but they're way too intentional to be real.

my biggest problem I don't get what bennett's reason for talking w/ the other dude is, even within the fictional universe

best one is when he asks for the 1st tupac cd

its a good conversational ploy to just start asking for the 1st tupac cd imho

Yeah, I might try it out myself.

say a bunch of crazy shit then before anyone has a chance to react ask for the 1st tupac cd, boom youve got yrself a tupac cd

hey does anybody have the 1st tupac cd

brb fetching tupac cd

that's the one with "bennett's got a baby" on it, isn't it

I got into a Facebook dialogue with the guy behind the Karen and Ellen Letters. He was claiming that Mark the landlord "exaggerated about 10-15% of what's in there" -- which confused me, because that would suggest that the letters are not original copies. So now I feel like maybe the letters are rooted in events that really happened but that Mark imaginatively "reconstructed" them years later.

the tumblr with the real IM conversations between a cat and his owner is much better

link?

http://louisvsrick.com/

Oh man, I love this.

Err, the Louis v. Rick thing obv.

start from the first convo

that site is just giving me serious flashbacks of the SNL sketches with amy poehler as a little girl constantly bothering her stepdad "rick...rick...riiiiick"

omg

"maybe I don't have time for this"

"you lick your balls all day"

"that's more than a little insensitive and you know why"

yes

seeing this transform from like some funny jpegs posted to a Tumblr to like "MY AGENT IS HELPING ME TURN THIS INTO BOOK DEAL ASPIRATIONAL SITE with WACKY NEW LOGOZ and watermarks on the pictures and CHECK MY FACEBOOK LIKES cheesebruger have has cheebruger" is p disheartening

in b4 "OMGPUPPIESWTFBBQHAHAHSUBWAY"

well tbf it was never funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Elr5K2Vuo

also, if this is "real" how does a 17 year old know what "capn save a ho" is?

texts from benbbag

xpost = surely is an actual teenager and not the creation of a 31 year old hip-hop geek

Yo son dis breaking bad episode is live from acknickolous land and this text comes from the red, the balck and teh green, sissyyyyy

i'm 17

also, if this is "real" how does a 17 year old know what "capn save a ho" is?

I share yr distaste for this thing but ^^^ that's a dumb question

probably heard it on some TED talks

in b4 "OMGPUPPIESWTFBBQHAHAHSUBWAY"

btw nice try here man but c'mon now

lol i opened this thread totally prepared for BOOK DEAL?????

hey, aerodick, i can't blame dude for cashing in, obv, but he doesn't have to look so corny doing it. His hypothetical book advance will probably be more than what he made from 10 years of record sales combined. In the very unlikely event that Bennett is real, there's not a single publishing house in the world that would willingly navigate the legal landmine of publishing a book of someone's texts without their knowledge.

presumably in an age when people take dozens of pictures of themselves every day and share as many of their opinions with as many people as possible young Bennett could be persuaded to get over feeling like his privacy has been violated by getting a cut of the advance. that's a non-issue this is fake as fuck obv. also please note that you can now buy HUSTLA DA RABBIT t-shirts from the site so in conclusion fuck everything.