CHICAGO: If Hepatitis C Were Attacking Your Face Instead of Your Liver You'd Be Doing Something About It

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Oh no! Mom just got clued in to her oldest two kids' incestuous relationship! It's like Flowers in the Attic except they are all brunette and Satan is their roommate.

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Monday, 18 December 2006 23:48 (seventeen years ago) link

LOLZ

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 18 December 2006 23:50 (seventeen years ago) link

It should be said that the original Amityville Horror was a real turd, too, so it's not like they were bespoiling a classic here.

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Monday, 18 December 2006 23:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Well, everybody's dead now. Movie over.

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 00:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh wait no! There are still 30 minutes left! Well, this can only get better. I should have made some popcorn.

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 00:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Or taken some Tums.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 01:36 (seventeen years ago) link

I've given you all the gift of Muppets and uncontrollable crying fits this Christmas season. It was not my intention to cause wrist-slicing, but if you had this record as a kid and can make it through the whole thing without crying, you're a bigger wo/man than I am.

Because I just had a Grade-A sobbing fit. I can't figure out why, either, I just did.

― Armando Grouse (Armando ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 02:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Sobbing triggered by the Muppets? Or just random sobbing? I woke up last night from a dream in which I was crying, and I was crying in real life.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Christmas sobbing is a tradition in my family.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I woke up last night from a dream in which I was crying, and I was crying in real life.

That's better than me. I woke up from a dream in which I was having sex, and I just had soft sheets in real life.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:36 (seventeen years ago) link

A quote by Oscar de la Hoya brought on full-fledged tears. WTF.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:36 (seventeen years ago) link

I have never ever had a wet dream.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Neither have I. Just really dirty ones. I jerk off too much to release in my sleep.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:39 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't even do that all that often. Sometimes I go for more than a week. Not many guys I know can claim anything close to the same.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Goddamit, this is a conversation about crying, not J/O.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 03:54 (seventeen years ago) link

haha Sorry.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 04:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Sobbing triggered by the Muppets?
What, this doesn't happen to you? The only thing that allows me to listen to that album in the company of other people is the sequencing. Mercifully, a tearjerker is followed by a funny most of the time. But I've been known to burst into tears randomly throughout the whole album.

I thought/believed Muppets were real for a surprisingly long time. They were like Germany or Japan -- I knew Germany and Japan existed, but I had never been there. Likewise, Muppets existed; I had just never seen one in person. But eventually I would, if I were in Muppet Country.

― Armando Grouse (Armando ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 13:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Can't stop here, this is Muppet Country.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't have sexy dreams, either, and a friend did once point out that you have to be repressed in some way for that kind of thing to break out in yr sleeping mind. And so.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:30 (seventeen years ago) link

I have sexy dreams, but not even in the height of teenaged hormone floods did I have an actual nocturnal emission.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:34 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't remember my dreams but i would hope if they were good ones i would remember.

i would like to dream about muppets tonight. not a sad muppet dream nor a sexy muppet dream, something like going grocery shopping with grover or having beers with dr. teeth or watching football with rolf. just doing something normal only with a muppet.

― otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I work with a guy who is 39 who says he has them a couple times a week even at his age.

Wet dreams seem like kind of a hassle, what with all the mess.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Amanda, I tried to download the Muppets album, but the link went to a page that said "delete this file?"

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Wet dreams only happen if you're not having regular wa(n)king emissions. I think I've had ONE.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Also I cried last night after getting a backrub.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:39 (seventeen years ago) link

I am living anecdotal evidence to counter the claim that sexy dreams result from insufficient waking sex/masturbating.

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Lucky!

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't think anybody has made that claim. I have plenty of sexy dreams, they just never result in semen emanating from my penis.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

*peep*

― otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:49 (seventeen years ago) link

John is wrong according to what I know of the matter. 39 y.o. guy gets it regularly. Another guy (24, with a gf) has them a lot too.

And I am living proof of the opposite as well--holding off does not result in them either. But yeh, you can get off on a regular basis and still have nocturnal emissions.

― crunkleJ (crunkleJ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:50 (seventeen years ago) link

So are wet dreams a function of physiology (too much semen), in which case there is no female analog? Or is it psychological, so that women have "wet dreams" if they orgasm in their sleep?

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Wait. I don't want to talk about this on the internet. I have a paper to finish. Goodbye forever.

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

"paper to finish"

― Handgun O. Mendocino (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:53 (seventeen years ago) link

i find your use of the double entendre particularly distasteful this early in the morning. repent, sinner.

― otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 15:58 (seventeen years ago) link

something like going grocery shopping with grover or having beers with dr. teeth or watching football with rolf. just doing something normal only with a muppet.
That's what it's like in Muppet Country. You do normal things, only Muppets are there doing them with you. Sometimes a chicken flies through the air.

― Armando Grouse (Armando ), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 16:12 (seventeen years ago) link

i want to move to muppet country.

― otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 16:13 (seventeen years ago) link

in my head i'm singing neil young's "sugar mountain" but replacing those words with "muppet country". still works.

― otto midnight, that 'tofu makes you gay' ding dong (otto midnight), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 16:17 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha

Wait, now I need to hear that song to get it OUT OF MY HEAD

― danno martinez (danno martinez), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 16:44 (seventeen years ago) link

with the barkers and the colored balloons!

― baby wizard sex (gbx), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 16:48 (seventeen years ago) link

It's so noisy at the fair, but all your friends are there.
Just close your eyes and make believe, and you can be anywhere.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:01 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.muppetsonline.com/images/muppetbabiestheme.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I just read a really interesting series of articles about this photograph:

http://img.slate.com/media/1/123125/123050/2133481/2148159/060912_CB_911pic.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:11 (seventeen years ago) link

links to articles?

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:24 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.slate.com/id/2149578/

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I didn't want to link to it right away because I wanted to see what your first reaction to the photo is.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:28 (seventeen years ago) link

First reaction: still kinda surreal that 9/11 was such a beautiful day.

Second reaction: if you can't tell that's Williamsburg from the angle, you can tell from the hipsters.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:31 (seventeen years ago) link

It looks like it could have been photoshopped.

― danno martinez (danno martinez), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:31 (seventeen years ago) link

It did not occur to me that they were sitting there not caring about what had happened, because THAT WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE.

― whoop de doodle (kenan), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, I was going to suggest that the photo was altered, anyway.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:33 (seventeen years ago) link

It's sort of fascinating, though, how much we rely on body language in a photo like this: if it only consisted of the two women on the right, there's no way anyone would've accused the onlookers of callousness, because they look watchful, alert. It's the fact that the one woman in the center is casually leaning back and the dude on the right is facing away from Manhattan that gives the potential impression of the whole party being all "la-dee-da" -- despite the fact that she's positioned like that to look at him and he's positioned like that to look at everyone else, and presumably when they're not talking to one another (i.e., many moments not captured in this photo), they're casting their eyes across the river.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 19 December 2006 17:38 (seventeen years ago) link

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